As I made my way to work, my usual state washed over me – the familiar territory of a bipolar, somewhat messed-up individual: an insecure, life-battered coward, but also, on the flip side, a self-assured guy who loved himself despite everything, a strong person with a purpose in life.
Thoughts tossed me back and forth. Feelings of fear, joy, anxiety, and composure, faith and hopelessness, all warred within me. It felt like two people lived inside me: one foolish and cowardly, the other a smug, street-smart hustler who'd seen life's less glamorous side.
Back at work, my mind remained consumed by Nai and the moments we'd shared.
At one point, I was washing dishes and tidying the kitchen when, in the midst of my deep thoughts, Mars called me to serve a table. I took off my apron, straightened myself up, and went out to the customers. I was a little taken aback by what I saw.
Sitting at the table were three guys from my school whom, I confess, I didn't particularly like at that time. Although they bothered many students, they treated me quite neutrally. Or rather, they didn't really acknowledge me at all.
They were the school's elite. Of course, such groups always have and must have their leader and, naturally, their "hangers-on."
The leader, as well as a petty, arrogant, spoiled brat who was every girl's crush, was Seymour. He was the captain of the soccer team, a very good player. He had brought our school victory many times and was therefore a star, and the teachers were willing to forgive him all his misdeeds because of it, despite his insolent behavior. This made him incredibly smug. He had a cold gaze, and his lying face always wore a fake smile.
Even though he was outwardly very handsome, and the girls adored him, and even the boys wanted to be his friend, I always sensed their insincerity. And, honestly, I felt they were hiding something.
Everyone called him Sam, some called him Samurai. I also called him Samurai.
The second and third were El and Johnny. They also played on the soccer team, but to be honest, they weren't exactly shining stars.
They were sycophantic toadies, benefiting from their leader's status. Since Sam brought the main glory, and they were considered his close friends, they were also allowed to get away with everything.
They always hung around together; I'd even say they followed him like a shadow on a sunny day.
But despite this, and even if their friendship wasn't genuine, the bond they had was something to envy. And, I admit to myself, I was envious. Not of them specifically, because I had Raul and Mars. But they were older than me. It seemed to me that with my peers, I wouldn't have to worry every time about saying the wrong thing. With people you could talk to about anything and allow yourself to make mistakes without getting a lecture, like I sometimes did. In short, to feel like an equal. And I really missed that.
And if I'm being completely honest, like many others, I also wished I were in Sam's shoes – popular and successful. Even though he was quite a character. But that's just my subjective opinion. I guess sometimes envy can lead your thoughts astray. And that's probably normal; not everyone has to like me, and I don't have to like everyone. Although, of course, you want everyone to like you.
They always dressed expensively, drove cool cars, skipped classes without consequences, and had other privileges, like all the popular kids. They were always surrounded by girls and friends – equally rich and successful. They didn't have to worry about what to eat today or what would happen if they got sick and couldn't go to work. Fail a test? Who cares? Around such people, there are always those ready to support them, even if insincerely. The teachers and the principal treated this trio differently from everyone else. And it annoyed me, and many other students didn't like it either. But everyone kept silent about it. It's better to be a nobody's friend than their enemy. It's best to keep such people at arm's length.
A sea of parties and complete chaos... Their gatherings were legendary in the city, but I only knew about them from stories. Lots of booze, sex, and who knows what else. Guys like me were never invited. Although, even if I had been invited... I don't know if I could have gone, if I could have become part of their scene, part of their lives. I don't think so. Back then, I was concerned with completely different things.
At some point, rumors spread around the school that Sam's father was a drug dealer or some kind of mafia figure and involved in who knows what: corruption, murders, and much more. That was probably another reason why people tried not to mess with him and allowed him and his buddies to do whatever they pleased. There were even whispers that a couple of guys had disappeared a few years ago after meeting them. No one had any proof. And it didn't seem like anyone had actually gone missing. At least, I hadn't heard of anything like that. Most likely, it was just rumors to create an aura of mystery. Maybe they even spread them themselves. Who knows?
Anyway, I went over to them and said hello. When they saw me, they stood up, started hugging me and patting me on the back as if we were old friends. I was curious how they even knew I worked here? Or did they just stumble in by chance? No one at school knew where I lived or where I worked.
They pretended to be surprised to see me, but they weren't. Later, I asked Mars why he had called me specifically, to which he replied:
"Well, they asked for you themselves! Said you were old friends."
I pretended to be happy to see them too, offered them the menu, and added:
"Guys, good to see you at our little place. Since you're here, everything's on me, order whatever you want. School stars are always welcome," I added at the end and smiled as genuinely as I could.
Although, what did our little place have to do with it? But I wanted to make a gesture, to impress them and maybe get closer to their circle.
I happened to have some small change left in my pocket from my date with Nai, and the boss paid me my daily wage every day. I figured that even if I didn't have enough to pay for their meal now, I'd settle up later.
Even though I didn't particularly like them, I wanted them to like me.
To which Sam said:
"Oh, brooo, thanks, but no, we'll pay ourselves. They say you have the best shish kebabs here? And the prices aren't too bad."
At that moment, his buddies snickered:
"Yeah, yeah, the prices aren't too bad," they echoed like parrots, being sarcastic.
I immediately remembered the scene from The Jungle Book where the jackals tried to attack Mowgli. "God, they're so cheap, it looks disgusting," I thought. But of course, the smile never left my face, and I added:
"Guys, we not only have great shish kebabs, but the pizza is excellent too. Just tell me what you want, and I'll quickly arrange a good dinner for you. If you need anything else, just say the word! I'll be happy to help."
At that moment, I noticed Samurai give me a strange look. An unpleasant shiver ran down my spine. His eyes glinted like a fox stalking its prey. And I didn't understand what that look meant, but I felt a slight nausea. Of course, I didn't show it, kept smiling, and acted friendly.
Although we hardly spoke at school, just a "hi" and "bye."
They insisted on inviting me to their table, but I politely declined, explaining that staff weren't allowed to sit with customers. Although in reality, we didn't have such rules – the atmosphere in the cafe was always very relaxed and friendly.
In the end, they agreed to have dinner without me, and I went over to the bar and started taking orders from other guests.
I continued to watch their table.
Actually, that's a trait I hate about myself – I always want to please everyone! To be liked by everyone.
Sam continued to stare at me intently, without taking his eyes off me. I couldn't understand why. But whenever our eyes met, we both gave each other a nice, polite smile and nodded in a friendly way.
After dinner, Sam called me over and suggested I join them for the rest of the evening. He assured me there would be lots of girls, drinks, and it would be fun in general.
I apologized and explained that it was Friday, we were busy, and I needed to stay until late. Plus, after work, Uncle Emi and Mars were waiting for me to tell them about my first date. So after his long persistence, I stopped smiling and seriously asked them to understand me. I don't like it when someone insists and tries to force you into something.
Sam finally understood, seeing my reaction, and backed off. As his friends left, he slipped his hand into my pocket and tried to put something in it. I naturally recoiled, but he persistently shoved the money in.
"I'll be really offended if you don't take it. It's my thanks for your warm welcome," he said.
I naturally understood that this created an obligation, but it was still hard to refuse after that. In the end, I accepted his "gift" and thanked him.
The tip was the largest bill I'd ever received as a waiter. I didn't know whether to be happy about it or not. In the end, I threw this money, like all the tips before it, into the common jar and didn't hide it.
Finally, when my shift ended, Uncle Emi and Mars pounced on me with questions. They were interested in everything: my every move and hers, what we talked about, and if we kissed...
I was very embarrassed but told them all the details of our meeting as best as I could. Uncle Emi was very happy for me.
When we were getting ready to go home, Uncle Emi called me over and gave me the tip that Sam had left me, saying, "Well, kid, you deserve this more than anyone today."
Of course, I was pleased, and I smiled and, after thanking him, gave him a big hug. He was big, of course, but he was my dear big man.
After work, I walked home, not thinking about Sam or his friends. I was only thinking about Nai.
Her scent still lingered on my hands, and I kept catching myself sniffing my palms. Suddenly, a car pulled up behind me and started honking incessantly. I turned around to see who this annoying driver was, but the headlights blinded me. I couldn't see anything. A second later, the door opened, and a figure stepped out, a figure that looked very much like Sam's.