"Kiyomi!"
It's a voice I didn't want to hear again—not this soon.
But of course, it's her. It's always her.
No, that's a lie. Someone I didn't want to see for a long time. Today's our first day of school, our first day of our last year of high school. I expected to share classes with her again, considering we've been sharing the same classes for the last few years in school.
Right by her side, as if they were conjoined twins, is someone I've been dreading running into.
Seeing both of them right now, after only a few days of hell, brings me nothing but pain. It hurts. I want to run away from them. I want to run away from here.
"Kiyomi? You're zoning out. Your eyes are glued to a specific part of my body. I feel gross and sticky with your eyes on me. Can you snap out of it?" Olympia pinches both of my cheeks.
"Oh, Olympia. Sorry, I'm kind of out of it today. I haven't been getting the best sleep," I say. I haven't been able to get a wink of sleep these past few days. I'm afraid that if I fall asleep, I'll wake up from this dream.
The person by Olympia's side sticks out the peace sign to me.
"Hello, Kumi—" As soon as my greeting ends, she swiftly shows me her middle finger.
"I saw that, you know…" whispers Olympia into Kumiko's ear.
"Sorry, a slip of my hand," says Kumiko.
"No, it wasn't," I tell her.
"It was a playful jab."
"Maybe it—that doesn't even rhyme!"
We all share a laugh. It's funny, I didn't expect moments like these to happen again. It feels like the events of the previous chapter never occurred. For them, it kinda didn't. These are the Olympia and Kumiko of the fourth iteration of the world. They weren't there for the initial three. Only I was.
Kagami was there too, somehow. She always is, isn't she? Like the universe forgot to hit reset on her. And maybe Emanon, too. They're both confusing. Are they some sort of anomaly?
"Kiyomi, how are you? I know the recent ordeal left you shaken up, but today's a new day. You may not have been happy then, but you can be happy now," Olympia tells me.
How can I be happy now? I still have scars that hurt. I can't forget what happened, no matter how hard I try. How can I move on when they're right in front of me? Can't they tell how much it hurts just being around them?
"Kiyomi," Kumiko chimes in, "I know that you're in a lot of pain. I don't understand your pain, and I'll never be able to feel what you feel, but just because you're in pain doesn't mean you shouldn't strive for happiness. You're allowed to be happy. Even if it hurts, keep moving forward."
What Kumiko says resonates within me. Her words hold truth, I know this.
But how are they able to act as if Kumiko didn't want to murder Olympia? They don't know this, but Kumiko did murder Olympia. What they believe is that Kumiko merely wanted to. They don't know the full truth. They don't know the truth. They don't know that I've died multiple times. By my own hands, I must add. They don't know how much time I spent dissociated in the White World doing nothing, waiting for something to happen. I couldn't do anything in the end.
I couldn't save Olympia. Kumiko.
I couldn't even save myself.
In the end, I saved no one.
Olympia suddenly grabs my hand. She holds it. She doesn't say anything out loud. All she does is look into my eyes.
Kumiko then does the same. She grabs my other hand. Not as firmly os Olympia, but more tenderly. She doesn't say anything out loud. All she does is look into my eyes.
They're act of kindness doesn't hurt that much. The pain still lingers, but I can feel it fade away slowly, but surely.
"Kiyomi," Olympia then breaks the silence, "we don't know each other too well, but after the event from the other day, we feel as if somehow we've grown ever so closer. Kumiko and I would like to become friends with you. We know that you're still in a lot of pain. I know that you're in a lot of pain. We are, too. I am, too. But maybe together, we can keep the pain away and one day find a life we can be happy with. Would that be fine with you?" She grips my hand harder.
"Kiyomi," Kumiko speaks up, "I know that things between us must be incredibly awkward. Trust me, Olympia and I's relationship isn't the same as it once was. But it hasn't grown weaker. On the contrary, it's only grown stronger; we've only grown closer. I feel like somehow, even though we didn't have a relationship until recently, we've grown closer, too. I'd like all of our relationships to only grow in strength. Would that be fine with you? She grips my hand harder.
They both care deeply for me. Someone they barely know. Even though they barely know me, even though they're not the Kumiko and Olympia I had previously grown to care for, they still care for me. All this time, I've been dreading coming to school and running into them.
I didn't know what to say—or if they'd even want to see me.
But the truth is, I was the one who didn't want to see them.
I was afraid. I'm a shitty person.
I—
"I want to be your friend! I want our relationship to grow and grow and grow until it overflows the world. I want to be a part of your lives. I want you both to be a part of my life. I don't want to be alone anymore. I'm tired of feeling lonely. Please, let me into your hearts."
…
…
…
They both let out a laugh. I begin to feel embarrassed.
"Sorry about that," Olympia wipes off a tear. "That last line you said was honestly kinda corny. Or should I say cheesy? Which word hurts your feelings the most?"
Kumiko begins to burst into laughter over Olympia's last comment. "Don't take it so seriously, Kiyomi. We're friends. Friends normally tease each other like this."
Friends.
She said that so naturally.
Yes.
We are friends.
It's as if we've always been friends.
And like that, my life began to change once more.
The bell rings, we say bye to each other, and return to our seats.