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Chapter 71 - 7. THE QUEST FOR THE FROZEN POTATO

Hiccup marched out of Old Wrinkly's house back to the Celebrations in the Harbor, followed by a grumbling Toothless. For about six hundred meters he was absolutely certain about what he was going to do.

He would go and explain to his father what had happened, and ask him to set up a Quest for the Frozen Potato. The Hooligans were always going on quests.

But when he eventually found his father, who was trying his luck in the Frozen Lucky Dip, he suddenly didn't feel quite so sure of himself.

Stoick wasn't as pleased to see his only son as he normally was. He had just lost a big bet because the Bog-Burglar Young Heroes had WHIPPED the Hooligan Young Heroes in the Smashsticks-on-Ice Competition, fourteen goals to nil. So Stoick was not in the best of moods.

"Bother that Old Wrinkly and his stupid soothsaying. An EASY WIN for the Hooligans, he said. Put all your money on it, he said. And what 106 happens? The Bog-Burglars win fourteen-NIL. I should have known it," Stoick muttered to himself as he drew a large frozen object from the lucky dip and tried to work out what it was. Fish? A useful axe? A small chair?

"Father," said Hiccup determinedly, "I want to set out on a quest."

Stoick looked at his son with surprise. "What sort of quest?"

"You remember my friend Fishlegs?" said Hiccup.

Stoick rubbed his nose crossly and grunted.

"Old Wrinkly says the reason he attacked you was because he has been stung by the Venomous Vorpent and he is in the first stage of Vorpentitis, and that causes episodes of madness, you know ... and the thing is, Father, unless we can find the antidote in time Old Wrinkly says Fishlegs may DIE ..."

Stoick looked as if he wasn't sure whether to be sad or happy ... but then he saw his son's face and hurriedly looked sad.

"Um ... yes ... oh dear ... ," said Stoick.

"So I want to set out on a quest for the antidote," announced Hiccup.

107 "What is the antidote?" asked Stoick the Vast.

"Old Wrinkly says the antidote is the potato," said Hiccup.

"SSSSSShhhh!" said Stoick. "You're not supposed to name it! And the Vegetable-That-No-One-Dares-Name is an imaginary vegetable -- surely you know that, Hiccup?"

"Old Wrinkly says that the Hysterics went to America and brought back a frozen potato," continued Hiccup stubbornly. "So I want to FIND the potato and save Fishlegs's life."

"I FORBID YOU TO DO ANY SUCH THING,'" roared Stoick.

"If we don't believe in the potato Fishlegs may DIE!" Hiccup yelled right back at his father.

Stoick the Vast lost his temper and waved the Unidentified Frozen Object (U.F.O.) around his head.

He roared at his son so loudly poor Hiccup's ears rang.

"YOUR FRIEND FISHLEGS IS A LITTLE WEIRDO WHO JUST CALLED ME A JELLY-BELLIED LARDY-BOTTOMED GREEDIGUTSI" 108 Hiccup flinched as if he had been struck, and then Stoick felt ashamed, and controlled himself. He reached out and patted his son on the shoulder, and he tried to speak more reasonably.

"Look, son, I know this is difficult for you, because you are fond of your friend, but let's just say that for once in a blue moon Old Wrinkly is right.

Even then, as the Chief I WILL NOT risk the life of my only son for the sake of a little weirdo that Fate has got it in for."

"Isn't it the Chief's job to do that?" said Hiccup steadily. "Fishlegs has no one else to look after him."

"You WILL NOT do it," said Stoick, very meaningfully indeed.

"Because I FORBID it, and that is an order, son. An order from your CHIEF." Stoick put the U.F.O. on his head (he had decided it was a HELMET) and stalked off.

The unfortunate thing about going on a quest to save the life of your sick best friend is that you have no best friend to go with you. Hiccup watched his father stalking off with what looked very like a frozen chair on his head, and wondered miserably what his chances were if he went on the quest for the Frozen Potato alone.

109 Um... chief...why have you got a CHAIR on your head?

110 Not im-POSSIBLE, he thought sadly, but, let's face it, im-PROBABLE.

Camicazi stuck her head out from underneath the Lucky Dip table.

"Did I hear someone mention the word quest? When do we get started?"

"Oh, Camicazi. You really shouldn't listen in on other people's conversations," said Hiccup.

Camicazi wriggled out from underneath the table and started doing handstands. She still had her ice skates on.

"We Bog-Burglars always listen in on other people's conversations," she said cheerfully. "It's one of the reasons I'm going to be so helpful to you on the quest for the Frozen Potato."

"YOU are not going on the quest for the Frozen Potato," said Hiccup.

"It's far too dangerous."

"Dangerous? PAH!" boasted Camicazi. "Why, I've burgled whole flocks of SHEEP off the Visithugs.... I've picked the pockets of the Perilous 111 Pirates.... I've stolen the helmet right off the head of Mad guts the Murderous, and you want me to steal one measly little vegetable?? No problem, Hiccup, watches and teaches, my boy, watch and learns."

Hiccup raised his eyes to the heavens. If Camicazi had a fault, it was that she was very, very pleased with herself. But it had to be admitted, she was an excellent burglar.

"There's this Madman with an Axe ...," Hiccup pointed out.

"Better and better," said Camicazi. "There's nothing I enjoy more than teasing Madmen with Axes. It's my favorite sport. If you don't let me join in I'll tell your big fat cross father where you're going."

"But that's blackmail!" protested Hiccup.

"You see," grinned Camicazi, "we Bog-Burglars have no morals at all.

It's very useful to us."

Hiccup gave up, and said she could come if she wanted to.

Camicazi rushed off to get her burglary equipment, and Hiccup prepared a small sleigh to take them to Hysteria.

He also pulled down his boat, The Hopeful Puffin, to drag on runners behind the sleigh.

112 "What are you doing?" asked Camicazi, returning with her arms laden with ropes and oddly shaped, pointy metal objects.

"It's getting so near to springtime, the ice may start cracking when we're out there. And if it does we're going to need some way of getting back across the Sullen Sea," replied Hiccup, trying not to think about what would happen if the ice REALLY DID melt. That might mean they had to face the Doomfang, on top of all their other problems.

Hiccup went off to look for One Eye, and explained his problem, and the big Driver laughed sneerily.

"Look, revolting little Human by, I don't know why you think I might want to help you.

I am not your mommy. I HATE humans. One thing I will absolutely SWEAR to you.

I will NEVER, repeat NEVER, waste a tear crying over the death of one of you Human NO-Brainers."

"Ah," said Hiccup cunningly, "but the antidote isn't just going to save the life 113 [Image: Camicazi's Burglary Equipment.] 114 of my friend Fishlegs, is it?

The Vorpent stings dragons as well as humans. Thousands of DRAGONS die of Vorpentitis every year. When I bring back the frozen potato, I shall plant potatoes all over Berk, and no dragon shall die of Vorpentitis ever again."

Well, that got One Eye, of course, because his hatred of humans was only matched by his love for his fellow dragons, and five minutes later Hiccup was hitching the big Saber-Toothed Dragon up to his sleigh.

Hiccup told Stoick on the way that he was going to spend the night at Snotlout's house, and Stoick was delighted.

"Excellent, my boy," roared Stoick, "so you've decided to take my advice, and find yourself a better friend. Well done, Hiccup."

"So now," said Hiccup, sitting down in the sleigh next to Camicazi, "we can nip to Hysteria, steal the potato, and get it to Fishlegs without my father even knowing we've gone."

115 Only Snotlout noticed the small Sleigh-Dragging-a-Boat sneaking out of Hooligan Harbor, on its way to Hysteria on the quest for the Frozen Potato.

Snotlout hoped that wherever Hiccup was going, it was somewhere dangerous, and that he would NEVER COME BACK.

[Image: It's raining.] 116

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