Tears pouring down his face, Hiccup watched as the Doomfang threw back its head and screamed as loudly as if it had been shot with a gigantic spear.
It sent a great sheet of freezing blue flame like an uphill waterfall shooting up into the sky. These flames shot so high they hit a small cloud up above, instantly freezing it, and turning it bright blue. And then, just like that, the Doomfang sank slowly beneath the waves, leaving nothing behind but a whirlpool of gigantic ripples, spreading wider and wider.
They spread toward The Hopeful Puffin, rocking it violently up and down. They spread wider still, and lapped the shores of Hysteria itself, and carried on down the Wrath of Thor.
Hiccup sat in the bottom of the boat, unable to believe that the Doomfang wouldn't rear up again, and maybe spit out the potato, or give it back in some way. But eventually the ripples got smaller and vanished entirely, and so too did Hiccup's last hope.
This really was the end.
The nearest potato was now thousands and 214 thousands of miles away, in the great country to the west, known as America to those who believe in such a place.
"Issa. g-g-g-gone!" whispered Toothless in amazement.
Up on the clifftops, the long line of watching, silent Hysterics began to shout: "THE DOOMFANG IS GONE! THE DOOMFANG IS GONE!
HURRAH FOR THE WEIRD LITTLE RED-HAIRED BOY, THE DOOMFANG IS GONE!"
And softly, and silently, snow as blue as Gobber the Belch's nose rained down from the frozen cloud above Hiccup's head.
The blue snow rained down like confetti at a coronation, settling in Hiccup's hair, and on One Eye's white back, and in between Toothless's horns.
"YOU are the Chosen One," said Norbert the Nutjob, still unable to believe it. "YOU have rid us of the Doomfang. YOU have lifted the Curse of Hysteria?"
Hiccup was suddenly furiously angry.
Not with Norbert, but with the gods.
For six long months he had been longing for spring to come, praying to Thor for the ice to melt, 215 and now, just when he and Camicazi had been through so much, and nearly achieved the impossible, just at precisely the wrong moment, Thor had made the ice crack and freed the Doomfang.
And this ridiculous blue snow was just the icing on the cake. What was it Snotlout had said?
The snow will turn as blue as Gobber the Reich's nose before YOU become the Chief of the Hairy Hooligan Tribe.
The gods were laughing at him now, playing with him for their sport.
Hiccup shook his fist at the Heavens.
"I don't WANT to be the Chosen One!" he howled at the blue sky above.
"I don't WANT to be the Chief of the Hairy Hooligan Tribe! I didn't WANT to lift Norbert's stupid Curse! I wanted to cheat the Curse on Fishlegs! All I want is my FRIEND ..."
The silly blue snow took no notice, and rained down steadily from above.
Hiccup began to cry.
"All I want is my friend ...," he sobbed. "Fishlegs trusted me. He thought I would make everything all right..." He turned to Norbert in sudden hope.
"Have you got ANOTHER potato?" asked Hiccup.
216 Norbert the Nutjob shook his head. "My father only brought back ONE of those Vegetables," he said between gritted teeth. "This is what made it so precious..."
Norbert the Nutjob shifted his axe uncertainly from hand to hand. The tic in his eye danced a wild fandango.
[Image: Hiccup.] "I don't know what to do!" shrieked Norbert the Nutjob. "You have shot me in the bottom, stolen my American Vegetable, chewed off my mustaches, fed 217 Papa to the Squealers, and burned down my Great Hall!"
His shaking hands reached out, almost of their own accord, toward Hiccup's neck ... and then he stopped himself just in time.
"But on the other hand, it seems incredible, but you HAVE lifted the Curse on Hysteria, and I cannot ignore my father's Prophecy. So THIS TIME, I shall let you go free. But if you ever, EVER cross my path again, I warn you I will kill you on the spot."
"Don't worry," said Hiccup sadly. "I'm not that keen on seeing YOU again, either. I'm sorry about the Hall, and the mustaches, and the bottom, and ... I'm sorry about EVERYTHING, really ... I was just trying to save the life of my friend."
218 Norbert the Nutjob pulled Hiccup's sword out of his belt and threw it down with a curse on the floor of The Hopeful Puffin. He then climbed back on board his sleigh and sped back to Hysteria, a land which ships could now sail in and out of as freely as they liked for the first time in fifteen long years, all on account of Hiccup lifting the Curse, which wasn't the quest he set out to do in the first place, but, there we are, these things happen to a Hero-in-Training.
With hearts sorrowing and despairing, Hiccup and Camicazi set out in The Hopeful Puffin toward the distant little Isle of Berk.
[Image: A ship in the middle of the sea.] 219 Camicazi took the helm because Hiccup was too depressed.
There was a brisk wind and The Hopeful Puffin fairly flew over the waves. They had to dodge the floating icebergs, and if Hiccup had been happier, he could have enjoyed the warmness of the breeze now blowing in their faces, for he had been waiting for this moment for six months.
For six long months they had been trapped in winter, and to Vikings who are used to being surrounded by the never-ending rocking of the sea, this frozen white stillness had been terribly eerie, as if time itself had forgotten to tick and was caught in a Hibernation Coma. There was nothing, no smell, no sound, no movement, just a painted white world that stretched out forever and a cold that made Hiccup's helmet burn against his forehead as if it were made out of fire.
Hiccup had longed and longed for it to end, and now spring HAD come and broken the spell. The sea was alive again and the wind whirling through the marshy grasses carried with it the catcalls and whoops of Dragonese and the lovely fresh smell and taste of salt.
And Hiccup had never been so miserable in his life.
220 "I don't understand," said Camicazi, after they had sailed in silence for half an hour. " Why did the Doomfang eat the Vegetable-That-No-One-Dares-Name? Why did it suddenly leave the Wrath of Thor when it had been hanging out there for the past fifteen years? What just happened?"
Hiccup sighed, raising his head from his chest for a moment. "Well," he said, "I don't KNOW of course, because, how can we know? But my guess is that the DOOMFANG ITSELF HAD VORPENTITIS." Camicazi's jaw dropped.
"It had all the symptoms," continued Hiccup. "Crazy behavior. Bloodshot eyes. Foaming mouth. A very high temperature. Doomfangs can live to be thousands of years old, so fifteen years is only two minutes in the life of a Doomfang. It would explain how desperate it was, and how ill it looked.
And once it had eaten the Potato, it was instantly cured, so it didn't need to hang around anymore. That was it, end of Curse."
"Who is to say that your friend's life is worth more than a Dragon's?"
said One Eye, who was taking up most of the deck.
221 "It's worth more to me," said Hiccup. "Because I didn't know the Doomfang personally."
The temperature was very pleasant, and for the first time in six months Hiccup found he was sweating in his furry overcoat. He took it off, and Toothless landed on his shoulder, and started trying to tuck his head under his wing.
"It's a bit late to go into Hibernation Sleep now, Toothless," said Hiccup, scratching the little dragon affectionately behind his horns. "It's just about to be spring again."
Toothless grunted grumpily.
Hiccup squinted up at the sun. Now that it was out, he could tell the time fairly accurately from the sun's position in the sky. They were at least two hours away from ten in the morning, he reckoned. Not that it mattered what time they got back now, of course.
Hiccup's heart was beating fast in anxiety and sadness, and he suddenly realized he could actually HEAR it beating.
Tick tock tick tock tick tock went his heart.
How very peculiar, thought Hiccup.
And then he remembered the funny round metal thing that Camicazi had found lying in the casket next 222 to the potato. He reached into his breast pocket and drew it out.
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK went the metal thingamajig.
It was a beautifully made, strange little object, slightly smaller than the potato. The front was transparent and hard, like ice, and behind it were all these rune numbers set in different circles, and at least seven arrows, all different colors. When he stared at it for some time he realized that some of them were actually moving, very slowly, but all on their own.
[Image: The funny round metal thing.] 223 He opened up the back to see if it was a tiny nanodragon making the ticking noise, and found inside nothing but lots of little delicate metal wheels that all seemed to be moving. Perhaps they too had been frozen by the ice, and now that it was warmer again, they had woken up ...
"WOW," breathed Camicazi, looking over his shoulder. "What is it, do you think?"
"I have no idea," said Hiccup, putting it back in his pocket, where the ticking would be muffled. He would think about it later. "It's some kind of Hysterical invention, I suppose. Those Hysterics are mad as mackerel, but they are good inventors."
Please, Thor, please, thought Hiccup to himself, please let it be all right somehow after all...
It began to rain, and the rain melted the blue snow, and it dripped like tears off the horns on Hiccup's helmet, down into blue puddles on the deck.
The American arrow lay, half drowning, on the edge of one of these puddles, and Hiccup picked it up and put it carefully in his arrow case.
Within five minutes, all the snow had gone, and Camicazi, Hiccup, Toothless, and One Eye all looked as if they'd had some kind of weird accident with a lot of blue paint. Their hair, coats, helmets and horns all 224 coated and streaked with the blue of the bluest of blue skies.
Tick tock tick tock tick tock said the metal thingamajig in Hiccup's pocket.
Tick tock tick tock tick tock went Hiccup's heart, hopeful in spite of itself.
Back on Hysteria, steaming through the pouring rain, you could see the bright flame of fire and a column of smoke coming from the Hysterical Great Hall.
Norbert's Papa was finally getting his proper Viking funeral.
225