Chapter 15
I slowly lowered myself until he was completely inside of me. I was sitting on his pelvis. I didn't move, I just sat there luxuriating in the feeling of my loves body. I knew that this was what I wanted.
I would make that promise to him, I would be with him. Soon...I told myself... soon.
I looked down at him lying on the bed. He was smiling at me. I began to move, rotating my hips, slowly lifting and dropping. Moving off of him and then being refilled with that wonderful tool of pleasure.
I then realized that I was in trouble...that I had become addicted to Zachary, Zachary, Zachary Miller, I wouldn't be able to live without him. I loved my Zachary.
As he just lay there, I began to feel the pleasure start building, I could feel myself slowly climbing toward the summit of that monondack of sexual joy.
As I rose, the speed of my loving increased. I could feel that Zack was joining me in our loving, that he was pushing up into me and that we were now working together, synchronizing our movements in an attempt to bring each other to the highest level of fulfillment.
It seemed that my climax was coming ever so slowly. Taking its time in building up, but I wasn't worried, I loved the tantalizing anticipation, I knew what was coming and I could wait. I knew it would be worth it.
I rode Zack like a jockey, he was my stallion and I was riding him like never before. I was a wild woman, just interested in one thing, our mutual pleasure. And pleasure it was. Although it was slow in coming, when it did it arrive was like nothing I had ever experienced before.
My whole body, my whole soul, my whole being was taken over by that most wonderful feeling. My orgasm was universal. Every part of me was involved, from the top of my head to the very tips of my toes. I was completely taken over by the joy and wonder of our loving.
We were joined, one in our endeavor to reach that apex of sexual delight. I knew that this was something that we could only reach together and only because we were one in our quest and totally committed to each other's feelings.
I shuttered and shook, the pleasure was indescribable. I could feel Zack stiffen up. He grabbed my hips and pulled me down onto his erection. He forced himself up and I could feel his penis begin to pulse.
I knew that once again he was filling me with his seed, that my Zachary was giving me his life essence. I lost all awareness of my surroundings, of what I was doing and was engulfed by the wonder and joy of our loving.
All too soon I came back to reality and found myself lying on top of Zack. He had his arms around me and was holding me.
I was laying there with my head on his chest, breathing hard and ever so slowly calming down. I loved the feeling of being in his arms. It was the prefect way to come down from the heights, just basking in the warmth of his love.
I held him tight, I wanted to become one with him, never to be separated from him. Then the hopelessness of my situation rushed back with a vengeance. It was like that angel that you always see sitting on someone's shoulder started in.
"What, you want to be with your lover? Is that what you want...SISTER Carol??? You are a nun...a religious...you want to be with Zachary...you, who dedicated your life to God...to God exclusively. You just ignore that, just like you ignored your vows."
"You my dear SISTER are a harlot. You are not worthy of Zachary...you are not worthy of the Order."
I am fully aware that I was talking to myself. I knew what I had done and the more I thought of it the worse I felt. Obviously, the guilt that I had avoided earlier, I could avoid no longer.
I began to cry. I held him and sobbed, "Oh Zack, I love you. Just tell me that you love me. I want to be with you. I don't know what to do...Oh my love...I am so afraid..."
Zack wrapped his arms around me even tighter and in a soft, loving voice said, "My darling, my love. I love you more than anything. I have loved you since I first saw you in that classroom in Baltimore. I will always love you."
"Carol, I don't want to lose you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to be with you each and every day. Carol, will you marry me...be my wife and take me as your husband?"
"I love you...I don't want to live if you are not in my life. I can't imagine living without you. I don't want to think of not being able to be with you. Marry me, my love?"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew that he loved me...but this? I know that marriage is the logical outcome of love, but for some reason, I never expected to hear that.
Again the conflict in my heart raised its ugly head. I said, "Oh Zack, be serious...I'm a nun, we can't marry. Nuns don't get married."
He gave a little laugh, "Yes they do. They get married all of the time. And I want to marry you."
I was completely confused...it was of my own doing. I couldn't decide. I thought that I knew what I wanted...but... I squeezed him and began to cry.
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Author's Note
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