'Beep—beep—beep—beep...'
The shrill ringtone tore through Hojou Kyousuke's saleep.
Normally, being woken up would trigger his infamous morning grumpiness but not today.
His phone only allowed calls from people on his list, which meant whoever was calling was close to him.
And those people knew better than to call him this early without a good reason.
Sure enough, the name on the screen was Yamauchi Sakura.
"Morning, Sakura," Kyousuke mumbled, half-asleep as he answered the call and turned to lie on his side, eyes still shut.
"Good morning, oh Handless Demon King~!" came the cheerful, teasing voice from the other end.
Full of energy from the get-go just like always.
Normally, waking up to Sakura's bubbly voice would be kind of nice.
Kyousuke had planned to just bask in her cheerful chatter a bit longer with his eyes closed.
But the nickname "Handless Demon King" was enough to yank him fully awake.
"Sakura…" he sighed, exasperated.
Standing out on her dorm balcony, Sakura smiled, picturing Kyousuke's tired, resigned face through the phone.
She imagined him rubbing his eyes, probably sitting up reluctantly after being dragged out of his dreams by her voice.
"Hehehe, today's Kyousuke is a sleepy sloth! I already finished my morning jog, you know!" she bragged playfully.
Her laugh rang out across the school grounds.
A few passing students looked up and, seeing it was Sakura they smiled and waved.
She returned their greetings with her signature bright, breezy smile.
"You're amazing. I'll take you out for some sukiyaki next weekend," Kyousuke replied, sitting up at last.
'And we'll sneak in a medical check-up while we're at it.'
As the phone lit up in his hand, Sakura's contact photo filled the screen, it was a snapshot of the two of them together.
She had her eyes scrunched up in a huge smile, and he looked surprised clearly caught off-guard.
The picture had been taken when they first arrived in Tokyo, right after she dragged him into a phone store.
He hadn't even finished booting up his phone before she'd yanked him into a selfie.
"So… are you calling to tell me you're free to leave the campus today?" he asked hopefully. If she was, maybe he could push the check-up forward.
"Nope. Still stuck with classes this weekend. Ughhh, I wanna go shopping sooo bad!"
As she whined, Sakura pounded the cold balcony railing in frustration.
The chill of the early morning metal stung her hand, making her even more irritated until she remembered the hilarious news she had to share.
Her annoyance vanished instantly.
"Actually, I didn't call about that at all," she said, her voice laced with mischief.
"…Wait, don't tell me the world's ending tomorrow?" Kyousuke's gut told him something was off.
The last time she sounded this smug was when she'd secretly snapped a photo of him drooling in his sleep.
"Hehe~ For you, Kyousuke, it might as well be!" Sakura's excitement practically burst through the speaker.
She sounded like a mischievous little gremlin who'd just stolen every Christmas present in town.
"If you don't spill it now, I swear I'll erase yam-ice cream from every menu in Tokyo," Kyousuke shot back with mock severity.
"Wha—!? Kyousuke, how could you!?"
Sakura stomped her foot.
He'd hit her weak spot again! Yam-flavored ice cream was sacred. Still, she grinned to herself. He'd be begging her to stop soon enough.
She cleared her throat dramatically. "Ahem, listen well…"
"Defeating any enemy in a single blow, the fiercest delinquent in history tells his tale!"
"Violence in its purest form, strong enough to shatter the stars with one strike!"
"Now, this invincible man sets his sights on the realm of fantasy!"
"This time, under the name of Saitama, he'll show the world a power beyond dimensions—!"
Sakura's voice turned theatrical as she read out the ridiculous, over-the-top promotional copy, complete with a terrible announcer impression.
It was too late. Kyousuke immediately knew what was happening.
'Why... why did I ever use a pen name if someone I know can find it? What was the point?'
'Was the money worth it? Just a few million yen and I sold my soul.'
'Why did I start drawing manga again? How did it all come to this?'
'Wasn't Hokkaido's scenery good enough for me!?'
"…Please have mercy, Sakura-sama…"
Hearing his dramatic groan, Sakura only read louder and faster. Every cringey, chuuni line stabbed at Kyousuke's dignity like arrows to his pride.
She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe.
"Ahahahaha—Kyousuke!? Don't do anything crazy, okay? HAHAHAHA—!"
Finally, when she'd had her fill, Sakura's voice took on a mock-concerned tone. "Hey, hey, you alive? You're not seriously gonna haunt me now, right?"
"If you keep going, I will become a guardian spirit and hover behind you for the rest of your life…"
"Hehehe, even if I stop, you'll be seeing it for yourself soon anyway. I just wanted to give you a little mental prep before that happens~!"
"Alright, alright. Let's talk next weekend. I gotta go see this mess for myself."
"Mmhmm! Don't forget the sukiyaki!"
"Promise. I'll let you eat till you burst." As long as that check-up goes well…
"Bye-bye, Kyousuke~"
"Later, Sakura."
After hanging up, Kyousuke sat in silence, mentally adding the upcoming hospital visit to his to-do list.
Up to now, he'd only taken Sakura for basic health checks, nothing that could detect serious illnesses like cancer. Those deeper tests were way pricier.
Despite being enrolled in Japan's national health insurance, optional full-body scans like PET-CTs weren't covered.
And since neither of them were Tokyo locals, and their families made over five million yen annually, they weren't eligible for much government assistance either.
He'd wanted to take Sakura in for a more advanced scan that could potentially catch pancreatic cancer early… but the cost was at least 500,000 yen and that had always held him back.
Still, this wasn't something he could ask their families to cover.
Now that he had some money, this was what he wanted to spend it on.
He didn't have any real hobbies or vices, just one wish:
To help the people he cared about live longer, healthier lives.
On top of everything else, it might be a good idea to look into private medical insurance too.
In a society like Japan's, insurance isn't really something you can avoid.
Shaking off those thoughts, Kyousuke opened the link Sakura had sent him.
It was a post on a forum for manga enthusiasts.
The poster was the verified account of Weekly Shonen High, and the post had gone up that very morning. The title read:
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"Wanna know why I'm this strong? Then read One Punch Man! I've poured everything into it!"
———————————————————————
…Are you serious? Do none of these people fear copyright infringement?
Oh right, this world doesn't have Monkey D. Luffy. I guess we're safe.
He clicked in. Turns out, the lines Sakura recited earlier were actually on the low end of the cringe scale.
"Well done, Kisaki Tetta. I hope you know what you've unleashed."
Before Kyousuke could even call him, his phone rang first.
"Morning, Eriri. Congrats on your debut going so well!" He never doubted it for a second but he also knew Eriri wasn't calling just to talk about that.
"Morning, Kyousuke. But that debut is old news now! From here on, Eiri Kashiwagi is aiming for even greater heights. So set your sights higher already!"
On the other end of the line, Eriri's bratty voice came through.
Kyousuke could practically picture her holding her head high in pride, even through the phone.
"Yes, yes. Kashiwagi-sensei is no longer a rookie—she's a superstar," Kyousuke said with a small laugh.
With Eriri's talent and relentless effort, it was only a matter of time before she hit the top of the industry.
"Idiot! I only sold one doujin. Don't jinx it by saying stuff like that!" she snapped, her voice bubbling with joy like someone just took a swig of ice-cold soda on a hot day.
"Anyway! That's not what I called for!"
"Congratulations to One-Punch Kyousuke, your manga's getting a full-on promotional push from the magazine!" Her voice was full of mischief, but she didn't laugh at all.
Probably because, as an otaku herself, she had a high tolerance for all the cringe.
"...Yeah, I figured. If even Sakura saw it, there's no way you didn't." Kyousuke sighed.
"I'm so annoyed... what was the point of using a pen name if this is how it ends?"
"Hahaha, it's fine! I hereby give you my blessing to officially join egoistic-lily."
Eriri's voice was teasing, but her cheeks flushed red as she said it. What is he thinking right now? I'm Lily, and he's EGOIST...
"I thought I was already part of the circle? Didn't realize I needed your approval."
"Hmph! Joining my circle isn't that easy. You're just an intern right now!" she huffed.
'Stupid! Can't you just say you want to join already? Why do I have to say it first!?'
"Alright, alright. I've got another call coming in. I'll talk to you more about the manga later."
"Mhm, go ahead," Eriri replied sweetly before hanging up.
Sigh... She had planned to ask him if he wanted to go to the "Gugigu Bookstore" in Akihabara next week, the one where they first met to pick up Weekly Shonen High together.
It would've been so romantic to buy their first published manga as a duo at the very bookstore where it all began.
Then, suddenly, her phone buzzed again with a new message:
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"By the way, next Saturday, let's go to that bookstore in Akiba where we bumped into each other, and pick up the manga together." – Idiot
———————————————————————
Huh!?
Yay! Eriri's already-wide eyes somehow grew even bigger, sparkling with joy.
"Yes!" she replied instantly, way too fast to play it cool.
She was supposed to say something like, "Well, since you're so sincerely begging, I guess I'll grace you with my company."
But whatever! It was rare for this idiot to actually do something thoughtful.
At least he remembered to invite the biggest contributor to their victory.
Putting her phone down, Eriri swayed her head rhythmically, humming a tune full of joy.
Then she picked up her pen and got back to her drawing.
On the white paper, she sketched a girl in a frilly dress with twin tails, arms crossed in front of her chest and looking helpless.
In front of her stood a handsome boy in a denim jacket, shielding her with one hand while effortlessly lifting an indistinct figure.
Even as just a rough draft, the contrast between the girl's fragility and the boy's overwhelming strength was striking.
'Wait, my height should be a bit taller... and the cup size too. As for that idiot Kyousuke... Let's add a little glow effect to him.'
She grabbed some white paint, the cheerful hum in her throat getting brighter.
Her movements becoming more smoother, and her little head bobbing less now that she was concentrating but her happiness was impossible to miss.
———————————————————————
Meanwhile, Kyousuke still hadn't called Kisaki Tetta.
One call after another kept rolling in from familiar faces, Yuzuru from Mizuto City, Sakura's mom, even his own family back in Hokkaido.
All asking the same thing: "Hey, is this manga I saw being advertised everywhere really yours?"
If it weren't for that humiliating marketing campaign, Kyousuke would've been proud to share the good news.
But under the current circumstances…
"Celebrate what? After reading those taglines, I just want to strangle the version of myself that ever dreamed of being a manga artist," he groaned.
"Hehehe, I thought it was kinda cool. 'The Handless Demon,' 'One-Punch Guy'... it all sounded so intense and powerful," a mature, calm voice replied from the other side.
It was Okudera Miki.
Remembering how Kyousuke reacted when he first heard the nickname Handless Demon during their last shopping trip, she couldn't help but chuckle to herself.
Who knew the usually composed Kyousuke had something he couldn't handle?
"Don't tease me, Okudera-senpai. I can't even imagine what it'll be like walking into school next week. I kinda want to transfer schools."
"Great idea. You can transfer to little Shizuka's school."
"Didn't you say you'd love that? I hear the school board chairman's an old friend of her family, should be easy to arrange."
…That wouldn't just be a transfer. That'd be skipping grades and transferring.
"I was joking. I've got a kendo tournament this summer representing our school. If I transferred now, the principal would probably cry."
"Hahaha. Well, don't forget to send me a signed copy of your manga. Shizuka-chan super excited about it too," Okudera Miki teased.
Kyousuke didn't bother asking why she suddenly knew about it, wasn't it supposed to be a secret?
But with that ridiculous promo campaign saturating every channel, it was harder not to find out.
"Alright, I'll bring a copy to Garden of Words for you myself."
Since no new calls were coming in, they kept chatting for a bit longer before finally ending the call.
When the screen went back to his contact list, Kyousuke sighed.
He was too tired to go chasing after Kisaki Tetta anymore.
The manga promotion hadn't just hit the forums, it was on TV too.
His mom, Hojou Mikiko, had seen it in a scrolling banner during a morning show.
At this point, the damage was done.
That guy probably thought this kind of promotion would help boost sales figures.
Well, considering how much attention the series is getting, Editor-in-Chief Shimomura must have pulled some serious strings.
Might as well just be grateful and accept it.
He supposed he should be used to this kind of thing by now anyway...
He opened up LINE, planning to have Kisaki give him a proper report on what was going on and whether there were any other outrageous promotional stunts lined up.
The app opened right back to the chat with "Naoto," which meant Mitsuha had forgotten to log out again after borrowing his phone last night.
He skimmed through their messages out of habit.
Looked like Naoto had gone to the doujin event too and had asked Mitsuha about the connection between the General Manager and that "Eriri Kashiwagi-sensei."
Mitsuha, ever straightforward, had told him flat-out that the two were manga collaborators.
After that, the two had chatted a while about the doujinshi's contents.
Seeing that made Kyousuke feel a little relieved.
If Mitsuha was making friends outside his circle and getting along well in Tokyo, then he could feel a bit less guilty when he had to use her body from time to time.
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