ㅤㅤ"I swear to the gods, if you say one more word, Raemith," Neo said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to slam your head off a wall."
ㅤㅤNeo could see the guard scowl defensively in his direction. They were at the moment standing at the front gates, right by the doors, outside. Raemith went back to fiddling with his sword, double checking the sharpness. Vibrant colours of purple and violet echoed along the blade when he held it in a certain position.
ㅤㅤ"C'mon, Nathan, mate!" He said dramatically. "Am tellin' ya, what happens if 'er majesty chooses someone at the ball? What're ya goin' to do? You can't glare in a corner for the rest of yer life."
ㅤㅤNeo groaned, tossing his head back and closing his eyes before sighing heavily. "For the last time, I am not in love with Liene. Why does everyone think I am?" He looked down as he gestured wildly in front of him at nothing. "Besides, if she does choose someone, what is your protective ass gonna do? You'll be the one glaring in a corner and pouting."
ㅤㅤ"Oi most certainly will not!" Raemith countered. "Oi w-would never think of having relations with 'er majesty! Though Oi know someone who does. Wait, no, two individuals actually. You and Kyra both have an eye for 'er majesty. Oi see the way you both look at her, you aren't sly! And quite frankly, if 'er majesty did choose someone, Oi'd kick his arse."
ㅤㅤHis mind went back to when he caught Kyrana and Quilliene kissing, and a slight flush came to his face before he spoke. "And what if Liene chooses a girl? Are you gonna kick a girl's ass?"
ㅤㅤ"Oi'd kick their ass if they were a girl, too," He responded matter-of-factly. "Her majesty is off limits unless Oi permit her - but Oi wouldn't be worried about me. Oi'd be more concerned about his highness when it comes to this stuff."
ㅤㅤ"Well, Kyra can have her, for all I care." Neo frowned. "Not like she can be with someone who's not royalty, anyway."
ㅤㅤ"Ye say that, mate, but Oi can see it on yer face," Raemith smirked. "Ya don't truly mean that. You say all kinds of things that you don't mean."
ㅤㅤNeo didn't answer. In fact, he was staring hard at the ground, as if he had just realised something that should have been obvious. Was he really in love with Quilliene? No - he shook the thought away. Even if he was, there was only one person who could stand him, and they were dead. His light chest turned to stone, and his look of wonder was then one of anger.
ㅤㅤEven if I was, He thought to himself. Nobody, not even her, could love me.
ㅤㅤ"Hey!" Raemith's voice broke him from his mindless gaze. "Stop all that damn starin' and focus. Sure, sure, you can't possibly have 'er majesty 'cause she's, y'know, 'er majesty. Yeah, minor setback. But you've risked your life for her various times and ye know how 'er majesty can be. It ain't that hard to ask yerself the things you like about her. For example, the way her hair shines purple when she's in the sun, or when she sits and reads to me…"
ㅤㅤ"The way she covers her mouth when she laughs." Neo mumbled, looking away as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Or when she walks, she does it heel to toe - so daintily." He smirked. "And when she smiles, her eyes twinkle like stars, even in the darkness." Pausing, he thought. "But when she brings a flower to life, she laughs so warmly that it makes you want to melt on the spot."
ㅤㅤ"What was that?" The guard turned back to him - apparently it had gone in one ear and out the other. "Oi swear I heard you say somethin' along the lines of, she makes me melt on the spot. If that's what Oi heard, then you're a hopeless romantic, my friend."
ㅤㅤ"My threat to bash your head against that wall still stands," He mused.
ㅤㅤNeo leaned back on his heels against the wall, hands in his pockets as his face was turned away. That was because his face was hot, his cheeks completely flushed red. Every thought, no matter how hard he tried to block them out, was of her. All the times she smiled, each moment she laughed, every way she made him want to fall to pieces at her feet.
ㅤㅤAlas, just like that, a wonderful feeling was ruined once more as an icy presence was felt encircling the air. The doors were opened to reveal none other than Christopher, his dreadlocks pulled back into a ponytail while one hung on either side of his face. Neo didn't look at him as he glanced between him and Raemith, who bowed his head.
ㅤㅤ"Alright," Christopher hummed to Neo. "You may hurry on back to your post with my sister. Raemith, you can-"
ㅤㅤNeo didn't wait to hear the rest of the conversation. He quickly walked away as soon as he was given permission, keeping his head turned away from the prince. Feeling eyes on his back, he didn't look behind him, refusing to give any smart-ass remarks. He covered his mouth, taking deep breaths as he passed Quilliene's room and went straight into his own.
ㅤㅤShutting the door behind him, Neo fumbled in his bedside drawers for a moment, pulling out the notebook that Lilac had given him. Christopher's, well, friend. He threw it on his bed, pacing for a moment longer before sitting down, calming his fidgeting. Taking it up, he freed the pen from the spine and pulled it open to the first page. He hadn't started journaling yet, but this required more than just his own mind spiralling into confusion on its own. He began writing.
ㅤㅤI'm not sure what's going on.
ㅤㅤI was talking to Raemith, and he said something ridiculous about me having feelings for Liene. The sad part? I think, for once, he's right.
ㅤㅤWhen I think about her, I can't help but feel warm inside. I know this feeling - it's one I've come across before, with Fleur. Except it's… stronger, somehow.
ㅤㅤI can't help but feel guilty. If I'm really in love with Liene, then it's as if I'm abandoning Fleur. I don't want to do that. I love her - Fleur - with every piece of my heart, and I can't just STOP. Would she want me to move on? She was never the jealous type. Would she approve of Liene?
ㅤㅤIt doesn't matter if she would, anyway. Liene would never love a person like me. She'd rather go for a rat than fall for me. Even if she did fall for me… it's not like we could be together. She's a queen. Royalty. I'm just
ㅤㅤNeo paused for a moment. What in the world was he to Quilliene? To anyone, even. Multiple words popped into his head all at once. A murderer. A psychopath. A thief. A person who simply deserved nothing and no one in his life, which was why he lost someone else already. He bit his lip. Then, he wrote down one final word.
ME.
ㅤㅤ
ㅤㅤThe familiar smell of lime and pixie dust floated through the air, and soon enough Daileth was found sitting on one of Neo's open desk drawers. His legs were crossed and his hands were in his lap, wings lowered behind him. He looked up at his much larger friend with a face contorted to show worry. Neo had been staring at the page, silent in his wonder, before he looked up at the little pixie.
ㅤㅤ"I-I hope you don't mind me reading your personal thoughts," Daileth said softly. "I skimmed it for only a moment before I realised, but I got the gist. Do you… want to talk about it? Some humans, and even a few pixies, say that talking about these types of things can be therapeutic and remedial."
ㅤㅤNeo glanced down at the page before running his fingers through his hair with a sigh. "What the hells am I supposed to do about this?" He asked, though he didn't really expect a good answer.
ㅤㅤ"You could pursue her. You never know, she may feel the same way." When he suggested that, Neo frowned. He continued, "I know it's hard to move on. To lose someone, and try to find someone else. It isn't finding someone better, but rather opening yourself up again and connecting. Holding yourself back from how you feel will only hurt you when you inevitably see her with someone else."
ㅤㅤ"As if she could ever remotely like someone like me, anyway," He scoffed, laying back on the bed and throwing his arm over his eyes. "A queen, falling for someone like me. That would be a great love story - next you're going to tell me she had a crush on the shapeshifting kidnapper."
ㅤㅤ"Well, you have to ask her, Neo!" Daileth went on. "You'll never know if you don't propose the idea to her. You need to have more faith in yourself, my friend. Despite your history, I appreciate you, and so does she."
ㅤㅤNeo lifted his arm to glance at him. "How do I ask her something like that without being obvious?"
ㅤㅤ"Well you don't just ask her that," The pixie burst into a fit of giggles. "Instead, try saying things like, What do you want in life? or What are you seeking in a partner...? Though, only do that if you're the only one in the room with her."
ㅤㅤHe scoffed, sitting up. "She can read me like a book. If I say the wrong thing, she'll catch on immediately." Biting his lower lip, he paused. "Maybe I can just pretend to be curious about who she chooses to court at the ball."
ㅤㅤ"That's a start!" Daileth said excitedly. "Or perhaps you can ask her to… dance."
ㅤㅤNeo stared at him in bewilderment. "What?!"
ㅤㅤ"At the ball, silly!" He laughed again. "Or, well, you can ask if she would like to practice dancing with you. Knowing her majesty… I'm sure she would agree."
ㅤㅤ"Is it… normal for bodyguards to dance with who they work for, especially royalty?" He asked, then shook his head as he thought of something else. "I'm pretty sure Frosty will kill me if I try to dance with her, anyway."
ㅤㅤ"You never know unless you try," Daileth hummed. "Perhaps a conversation with Christopher may ease the tensions between you and him. You can definitely say he holds you in much better regard than he did previously, yeah? I mean… not like you'll see him smile, though, 'cause he never smiles at anyone."
ㅤㅤ"And what would I talk to him about?" Neo raised an eyebrow with a scoff. "Hey, I'm in love with your sister, let me dance with her and all that fun shit at her birthday ball. I don't think that's gonna work." He chuckled half-heartedly. "He wouldn't appreciate the fact that I'm…" He failed to finish his sentence.
ㅤㅤ"So work your way around it!" The pixie exasperated. "Build to his standards by spending a bit of time with him and perhaps he will approve once you are ready to admit to her majesty." He paused. "Though, don't do that thing."
ㅤㅤHe stiffened. "What thing?"
ㅤㅤ"That thing where you are obvious when you hide a secret. Honestly, you are terrible at them. You start getting all stiff and flustered, then you rub the back of your neck and look away."
ㅤㅤNeo sat up straighter, frowning as he opened his mouth to protest - only to sigh, hanging his head. "Yeah, I know."
ㅤㅤDaileth cackled triumphantly before he simply gave a small smile. "Now, do you feel a bit better about your inner turmoil? Because you have to return to her majesty in about… ten to twenty seconds."
ㅤㅤ"Right," He hummed, frowning, then nodded before standing. "Right, I'll go."
ㅤㅤ"And Neo?" The pixie called as he reached the door. Neo turned to look at him. "Good luck!" Daileth gave a thumbs up.
ㅤㅤNeo smiled, chuckling. Yeah… he would need a bit of Daileth's pixie luck.