"Then let me ask again. If Watanabe Takashi had existed, but didn't appear that day—maybe at another time—would you have dated him?"
Utaha frowned, thought for a bit, then sighed. "No."
"One last question. If you had seen Watanabe Takashi that day, but he didn't approach you, would you have approached him?"
Takashi phrased it like the same question, but Utaha understood what he meant. She gave another disheartened response: "No."
"You say I deceived you. But even if Watanabe Takashi existed—even if he was right in front of you—you still wouldn't have liked him."
Takashi believed Utaha's pain during this time was real.
He also believed she really broke down the moment she learned Watanabe Takashi was Kitahara Takashi .
But to say she truly loved Watanabe Takashi? That was another story.
Their story only began because he looked like Tomoya, appeared on that day, and took the initiative.
If even one of those things were missing, nothing would've happened between them.
Yes, Takashi had deceived her. But he was also the only person who could fulfill all of her "conditions."
"Utaha… you say you loved Watanabe Takashi so much. Then why did I never feel it?"
"When he was by your side, were you good to him?"
"Why did I never feel like you actually liked Watanabe Takashi?"
Sure, she gave him a lot of money.
But as for kindness? Takashi never really felt it when he was with her.
"You were the one always comparing him to Aki Tomoya, weren't you?"
"You were the one who forced him to dress, talk, and act like Aki Tomoya."
"You were the one who ditched Watanabe Takashi, who had made a reservation in advance, just to chase Aki on a whim."
"You were the one trying to turn Watanabe Takashi into Aki Tomoya."
"Do you know what words I heard from you the most?"
Takashi looked her in the eyes and repeated what she used to say.
"Aki wouldn't laugh like that."
"Aki wouldn't do something like that."
"If it were Aki, he'd…"
"You're just a stand-in."
"That's enough."
Utaha's already pale face turned even paler.
"This is what you call love?"
To put it bluntly, Utaha had been emotionally manipulating Watanabe Takashi.
"Good thing the one who approached you was someone with an ulterior motive like me.
If the real Watanabe Takashi had truly fallen for you… how pitiful would that have been?"
"Have you ever thought about what would've happened… if it had been a normal guy you treated that way?"
"He'll start to lose confidence with every denial."
"And then he'll begin to think he's terrible—not good enough, not worthy of love or respect. Eventually, he'll spiral into a cycle of self-doubt and self-denial."
"Maybe, with time, you'll even start thinking he's different from the person in your memories—and leave him."
Takashi hadn't personally experienced this, but friends around him had.
He had witnessed firsthand a once-sunny, cheerful friend being worn down by emotional manipulation, growing depressed, and eventually being dumped by the girl, who said, "He's changed."
"Have you ever considered what would happen to Watanabe Takashi?"
"You never thought about him at all."
This is the unconscious cruelty and cold realism women hide beneath the veil of romanticism.
And that's why Takashi never believed in what women said.
Their words are filled with illusions and beautification. You can't trust them completely.
"I…"
"You were going to say you'd never do that? But how do you know what I said wouldn't happen?"
Takashi always prepared for the worst.
He never placed unrealistic expectations on anyone.
Even with someone he truly liked—like Narii or Hitomi—he had braced himself from the start for the possibility that things wouldn't last.
As long as you don't expect too much, you won't be disappointed.
That was also why Takashi never completely severed ties with other girls.
He needed an escape route—so that even if he chose the wrong path, he'd still have the courage and fallback to start again.
Even in love, he would never give it all.
Love others, yes—but love yourself first.
So many people loved others more than they loved themselves.
They gave everything—their time, their heart. If their partner was a good person, that was fine.
But usually, they weren't. And in the end, these people were the ones who lost everything.
Love is a gamble.
Win, and you get happiness.
Lose, and you end up with nothing.
"Utaha, I've realized—you're actually a very strange person."
"When Watanabe Takashi was with you, you treated him poorly, constantly saying he wasn't as good as Aki Tomoya."
"But once he left, now you're full of regret. What is this—too many 'chasing my ex after ruining him' novels?"
"Why do you people never cherish what's in front of you? Why does it always have to be after they're gone?"
"What were you doing back then?"
Takashi might be a scumbag, sure, but he still treasured the people around him.
Whether it was the girls in his life—Narii, Hitomi—or his friends Otani Shota and Tanaka Kota.
"Utaha, just admit it—you didn't love Watanabe Takashi that much."
He believed she had feelings for Watanabe Takashi.
But not to the degree she claimed.
What made her so upset now wasn't love—it was the realization that the person who had always stayed with her could one day leave.
That there would probably never be anyone else who loved her more than Watanabe Takashi did.
Clatter!
Utaha's arms went limp, and the silver table knife slipped from her hand.
Silence fell.
Takashi had said so much—and even got his throat slashed. It wasn't deep, but it hurt.
After a moment to collect himself, he said, "Utaha, maybe I did lie to you."
"I admit that my feelings for you were fake."
"But the one who took the train from Tokyo to Chiba just to see you… was me, Takashi ."
"The one who answered your midnight calls whenever Aki Tomoya hurt you… was me."
"The one who reminded you not to catch a cold during your period and made brown sugar water for you… was also me."
"All of that was me. Aside from feelings—what else did I do wrong?"
"I can't say I have a clear conscience, but I haven't wronged you either."
Utaha looked up with tearful eyes. And in that moment—she saw Watanabe Takashi's face overlapping with Kitahara Takashi 's.
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