Chapter 5: She Was The Villain
It felt like a slap in the face—harsh, undeniable, and cruel.
The words Lucas had uttered echoed relentlessly in Lara's mind, piercing through her already wounded heart like shards of glass.
She stood frozen in place, staring at him in disbelief. He was barely conscious, his drunken state rendering him oblivious to the weight of what he had just said. Yet, his voice had been clear—clear enough to crush every last bit of hope she had been holding onto.
Tears blurred her vision as she turned away, unable to bear it any longer. Without another word, she rushed to her room, slamming the door behind her. As soon as the lock clicked, her legs gave out, and she collapsed onto the cold floor, her arms wrapping tightly around herself as if that could keep her from falling apart completely.
A strangled sob escaped her lips. Then another. And another. Until the quiet of the room was filled with the sound of her broken cries.
Her fingers curled into fists as she pressed them against her heart, as if she could physically hold the pieces together.
She had been so blind. So foolish.
All this time, she had fought for a marriage that was never truly hers. She had held on, believing, hoping that if she just loved Lucas enough, someday he might return even a fraction of that love.
But the truth had been staring her in the face all along.
From the very beginning, Lucas had loved someone else.
Not her. Never her.
And she had been too much of a fool to see it.
Was that why he resented her? Why he never forgave her for agreeing to this marriage? Why he couldn't even look at her without disdain?
Riah.
The name played over and over in Lara's mind like a cruel taunt.
That must be her. The woman he truly loved.
A fresh wave of guilt crashed over Lara, making her tremble.
She had never even met her, but the guilt was suffocating. She could only imagine the pain that woman must have felt when she lost Lucas to an arranged marriage. How devastated she must have been, knowing that the man she loved was forced to marry someone else.
"Oh, God... What have I done?" she choked out, her voice barely above a whisper.
She felt vile. Despicable.
She was the villain in someone else's love story.
She had stolen another woman's happiness. She had taken away the future Riah and Lucas were meant to have. She had wrecked a love story that was never meant to be hers.
Was this her punishment? Was this why Lucas couldn't love her—because in his eyes, she had ruined his life?
A gut-wrenching sob escaped her lips.
Lucas was right. She had ruined everything.
She had ruined his life, his future, his happiness.
And now, she was the only one left in this mess, desperately clutching onto something that was never hers to begin with.
That night, she cried herself to sleep. She didn't even remember when exhaustion finally took over. All she knew was that she had curled into herself, drowning in her heartbreak, desperately wishing that when she woke up, this would all turn out to be a terrible dream.
But deep down, she knew.
It wasn't.
⫘⫘⫘
The shrill ringing of her alarm clock pulled Lara from unconsciousness.
She blinked groggily, her body stiff from sleeping on the floor. Her head throbbed, her eyes burned, and her heart... her heart felt like an empty shell.
For a long moment, she just lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling.
She didn't want to get up. She didn't want to face another day of pretending everything was fine.
Then, like a dam breaking, last night's events came flooding back.
Lucas. His voice. That name.
Pain tightened around her chest, making it hard to breathe.
Her lips trembled as she curled into herself, squeezing her eyes shut in a desperate attempt to block out the memories. But it was useless. The words replayed in her mind like a cruel melody, each syllable another dagger to her already shattered heart.
She didn't know what to do anymore.
She had fought for this marriage for three long years, believing she had the right to do so. But now…
Who was she even fighting for?
For a husband who loved another woman?
For a marriage that was never hers to begin with?
For a love that was never meant for her?
A bitter, humorless laugh escaped her lips.
What was the point of all her struggles, all her sacrifices, if in the end, she was the only one holding on?
She had spent years trying to fix something that was doomed from the start.
Why had she been so foolish?
Why had she agreed to this marriage, knowing Lucas didn't love her?
Not only had she destroyed Lucas' happiness, but she had also ruined her own.
Her hands curled into the sheets, gripping them tightly.
Should she just give up? Should she finally end this marriage and give Lucas the freedom he had always wanted?
Maybe then, he would finally forgive her.
Maybe then, she wouldn't have to keep living like this... chasing after someone who would never look back at her.
Wouldn't that be the right thing to do? If she truly loved Lucas, shouldn't she set him free?
The thought sent a sharp pang through her chest.
She imagined herself walking away. Letting him go. Watching him be with the woman he truly loved.
And it hurt.
It hurt so much she could barely breathe.
She squeezed her eyes shut as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.
No.
No matter how much she tried to convince herself that letting go was the right thing to do, her heart refused to listen.
She couldn't do it.
She couldn't let him go.
A hollow laugh escaped her lips as she wiped her tears, even though they wouldn't stop falling.
She must be insane.
What kind of woman holds onto a man who will never love her back?
Why couldn't she bring herself to let him go?
She knew it was wrong.
She knew she was being selfish.
But she couldn't help it.
She couldn't imagine a life without Lucas. She loved him too much.
"Dear God…" she whispered, her voice trembling. "Please… even just this once… let me have him."
The guilt gnawed at her, but she couldn't change how she felt.
She pitied Riah. She truly did.
But she couldn't give Lucas back.
She wouldn't.
Even if it made her the villain in this story.
Even if it made her a selfish, desperate woman.
She was still his wife. They were still legally married. And as long as she held that title, she still had a chance.
She had to believe that.
She had to try.
A shaky breath left her lips as she wiped away her tears, her resolve hardening.
She would fix this marriage.
She had to.
She knew this wasn't healthy. She knew she was only setting herself up for more pain.
But it didn't matter.
Because she loved him. She loved him more than she loved herself.
And no matter how much it hurt… she wasn't ready to let go.
Not yet.
Not now.