Hearing the shout from their senior, Shiro, Iori, and Kohei were all about to head over—only to realize partway there... someone was missing.
Seeing Kohei fidgeting in place, the two of them asked,
"What's wrong with you?"
"Did you get hemorrhoids?"
( っ °Д °;)っ
Kohei looked panicked, like he was back in that beauty contest all over again.
"I… I can't think of any lines!"
( ﾟдﾟ)
Ah… they forgot—this guy has social anxiety. Though seriously, after everything he's done—he even slept next to the upperclassmen already—how is he still socially anxious?
"Then just reintroduce yourself again, how about that?"
"Yeah, something simple will do."
After all, they were all already this close. No need to be too serious about it~
So, the two of them brought Kohei over. Shiro looked at the group of strong, beast-like but kind-eyed upperclassmen and suddenly felt something.
"Thanks to this club, I've experienced things I never had before… That dazzling sea, the joy of swimming together—it's all so wonderful."
As Shiro spoke, his eyes softened. He never imagined he'd one day be happily drinking with a group of guys like this.
He and Iori took turns expressing their heartfelt emotions. Everything was going smoothly until Kohei joined in…
"I realized something I used to hate—"
"Kohei Imamura!" (Kohei)
"—is actually charming."
"Even if I was reluctant at first, now I think—"
"Games and anime!" (Kohei)
"—are beautiful things."
"From now on, I'll work harder and harder until I can proudly say—"
"Kohei big brother, please marry me~" (Kohei in a fake girl voice)
SMASH!!!
Bottles of aqua vitae and awamori came crashing down on Kohei's head!
"ARE YOU FREAKIN' MESSING WITH US?!"
"Self-introduction is fine, but hitting the timing so perfectly every time—is that on purpose?!"
＼(`Δ')／
Shiro and Iori began furiously beating Kohei up. A nice heartfelt speech turned into a comedy skit the moment he opened his mouth!
"Pfft~"
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
"You suck, Kohei! Fight back!"
"Oi, careful with the booze—you guys are spilling it!"
"..."
The upperclassmen burst into loud, cheerful laughter. This chaotic, emotional way of bonding between the three guys was something you could never get tired of seeing.
Staaaaare~
After the commotion, Shiro, Iori, and Kohei stood frozen, eyes locked on their respective glasses.
The booze was filled to the brim—but it wasn't spilling over. The surface tension was maxed out!
Each glass was filled with 90-proof liquor. None of them wanted to drink it. Couldn't they just swap it out for beer?
"We gotta reduce the amount somehow."
"If not, we're definitely gonna die tonight. This is a life-or-death issue!"
"If that's the case…"
Kohei suddenly had a crazed look in his eyes—as if, standing between life and death, he'd made his choice.
"Kohei! You're not thinking…?!"
Shiro gasped. From the madness in Kohei's eyes, he already guessed the plan.
"Exactly! If I pretend to be drunk and accidentally spill the whole drink—it's fine, right?!"
Shiro and Iori looked horrified. If they got caught wasting the booze, they were done for!
But…
They glanced at each other and nodded. Right now, this might be their only hope.
"If that's the plan—then let's do it right!"
"Good luck, you two!"
"You too!"
The three hyped each other up—time to put their acting to the test.
"Whoaaa~ I'm feeling tipsy~"
"Guess my alcohol tolerance still sucks~"
Swaying left and right, the three of them tried to use momentum to slosh the booze out of their glasses.
But every single time—
The upperclassmen would instantly teleport to their side and steady the drinks before anything spilled!
After several failed attempts, the three stood rooted to the spot, blank-faced, glasses still full.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
This defied the laws of physics. How the hell were these upperclassmen this precise and stable?!
"Haha, you haven't even drunk anything yet."
"Guess it's the atmosphere that's intoxicating!"
The real culprits—Afro-senpai and Glasses-senpai—laughed heartily. The air around them really did smell like booze now.
"Dammit! That plan failed too!"
Shiro clenched his fists, trying to think of another way to escape this alcohol death trap.
"I've got it!"
Iori suddenly lit up—like a lightbulb went off over his head.
"Quick, you devious bastard—what's your idea?!"
"...You scumbag. What's with that stupid title?!"
"Don't sweat the details, Iori. It's a compliment!"
"I seriously hate you guys."
Iori's forehead twitched. He could already imagine what kind of image he had in these two idiots' minds.
Still, for the sake of survival, he explained his plan:
"First, we prep an empty cup."
"Uh-huh!"
"Then we pour a little water into it."
"Okay okay!"
"Next, we pretend to take a sip—but we just swish the booze in our mouths and spit it into the water cup!"
"OOOOH!!!"
Shiro and Kohei instantly caught on. Just mouth it, no swallowing—brilliant!
"No wonder they call you the master of shady tactics, Iori!"
"You're the go-to guy for any dirty tricks!"
ψ(*｀ー′)ψ
"CAN YOU TWO LEARN SOME MANNERS?!"
Iori felt a twinge of regret. Normal people usually thank someone when they help, right?
Damn it…
Why did it take him so long to come up with something this simple? Was there some kind of supernatural force stopping his brain?
While Iori fell into an existential crisis, Shiro smiled confidently and headed to the table.
First, he placed the three full glasses of aqua vitae off to the side, then took out three empty ones.
Just need to pour the water in now—
Wait, where's the water?
In the corner, he spotted a forgotten bottle of mineral water.
Nice!
He happily grabbed it. They were only one step away from success!
Just pour it into the cup… Pour…
Why is the cup full already?!
{{(°△°;)}}!
Shiro looked up—and standing before him was a muscle-bound, bald upperclassman staring him down with a stone-cold face.
From the look in his eyes, Shiro could tell—
If you don't drink that booze, you're dead.
"IORI!!!"
Shiro and Kohei instantly teleported to Iori, who was still spaced out.
DOUBLE SLAP ATTACK! ×2!
With a flurry of slaps, Iori's face puffed up instantly.
"I didn't think it'd end up like this either!"
He was innocent! Who could've guessed someone would walk around pouring more liquor into empty cups?!
"Dammit! Isn't there any way out…?"
Shiro gritted his teeth. The smell of alcohol in the air was getting even stronger. Was that just fear…?
He looked down at the glass—wait. The liquid inside was still near the top, but…
Wasn't it overflowing earlier?
Someone drank it?
Wait—that's great news?!
"Hey, first years!"
"Better hurry and drink up, or there won't be any booze left!"
Right then, the upperclassmen Tokita and Kotobuki chimed in.
That's when Shiro noticed—the liquid level in Kohei and Iori's glasses had gone down too.
So that smell in the air wasn't just in his head…
(????)
The booze evaporated?!
That smell in the air was literal vaporized alcohol!
What kind of absurdly high-proof liquor were they drinking?!
"Wait! What if we just wait until it all evaporates?!"
Iori put both hands on the table. If they just stalled long enough, the booze would vanish on its own!
Great idea!
But…
( -_-)
Shiro looked past Iori with a deadpan stare—and silently lit a candle in his heart.
THUNK!
"Yo, Iori~"
"Wasting booze is a really bad habit, y'know~"
Tokita and Kotobuki were suddenly behind him. They'd clearly overheard every word of his "brilliant" plan.
GULP GULP Σ_(´Д｀ )_
Iori was promptly force-fed a full glass. His eyes almost rolled back in his head.
"...Sigh."
Shiro sighed. Looks like he'd have to handle this himself.
"I found it!"
Kohei's excited voice drew his attention. "What is it?"
"I found the real way to do this drinking ritual!"
?(Ò﹏Ó)ノ
Shiro lit up. All this chaos had been because the seniors wanted to do this Miyako-style drinking game.
If they had the actual method in hand—
Problem solved!
No way the upperclassmen could out-drink the monsters in PaB!
Without hesitation, Shiro handed the info Kohei found over to the seniors.
If he waited any longer, they'd come over with more drinks!
Toki and Kotobuki squinted at the phone screen, studying the info.
They realized—they'd been doing it completely wrong this whole time!
Miyako Island Exclusive Ritual!
The "dealer" opens with a speech, then downs their drink in one go!
Everyone else follows suit, one by one, then the dealer drinks again!
Dealer ends the round by saying "Finish!"—then passes the role to the next person!
"Ah, so that's how it's done!"
"Looks like we were wrong before!"
"That means… we'll need at least 12 rounds of this!"
"HAHAHA! This little booze won't be enough—let's add the rest!"
The seniors happily went to pour more drinks. Miyako-style drinking really was a blast, huh?
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!
Shiro began furiously slapping Kohei again!
"Wahhh! I didn't know it'd say that!!"
"You IDIOT! Couldn't you have at least checked what kind of liquor they use?! You really think Miyako islanders drink 90-proof aqua vitae?!"
Shiro was done. Because of these two clowns, one glass turned into two, two turned into twelve.
He could only rely on himself now.
Under the expectant eyes of Kohei and Iori, Shiro took off his clothes—leaving only a pair of briefs with a blue elephant print.
He stepped out boldly in front of the beasts.
"EVERYONE! LET'S PLAY STRIP ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS! I CHALLENGE YOU ALL!!"
Standing proud in just his elephant underwear, Shiro stared down the upperclassmen.
The best way to conquer fear—is to face it head-on!
You want me to drink?
Ask my blue elephant first!
"OOOOOOOH!!"
"Pretty bold, first-year!"
"Let's go! Dare to strip off those elephant undies?!"
"This time… I'll stake my whole pair of briefs on this battle!"
"..."
Watching that noble, majestic figure standing tall—
Kohei and Iori were shook.
Was he… was he protecting them?!
Using his own life to shield them from alcohol?!
At that moment—both of their eyes went misty...
Kamishiro—that bastard—he actually went this far!
They absolutely couldn't let down his expectations. They had to survive no matter what!
The two of them picked up the cups in front of them, determined to finish what they hadn't managed earlier.
One of them pretended to be drunk and spilled the alcohol, while the other poured it into a glass filled with water.
"Of course, I'm not the only one. Iori and the others are already prepared as well!"
Just then, Shiro's voice rang in their ears like a sudden thunderclap.
The two of them froze on the spot…
The atmosphere suddenly turned silent.
Tall, looming shadows surrounded them.
Iori and Kohei's faces were now hidden in darkness.
Click—
They slowly turned their heads like robots. Sure enough, what came into view were the imposing figures of their upperclassmen.
Meanwhile, they were still frozen in their poses of spilling and pouring drinks.
At that moment, their bodies slowly turned grayish white—
Cracks began to appear on their skin. Judging from the sharp gazes of the seniors, what awaited them… might just be hell.
"Iori, Kohei! You two actually dared waste such precious alcohol?!"
"Still not honest enough, huh? Azuma! Bring over the whole jug!"
"Strip rock-paper-scissors! I lost a cup, you lose a whole bottle!"
"Don't think you can escape, freshmen!"
"..."
(′～`;)
"It's a misunderstanding! A misunderstanding! I passed out drunk!"
"I just… I was alternating cups to cool the alcohol down because it was too hot!"
The two kept trying to talk their way out of it, but unfortunately, an enraged gorilla doesn't listen to reason—
The two were immediately buried under a pile of beasts—
"Kamishiro, you bastard!"
"You screwed us over! Damn it, not there—don't touch that!"
(;￣Д￣)
Shiro averted his eyes quietly. Heaven and earth can testify—he only meant to drag them into a game of strip rock-paper-scissors to shift the attention.
He never expected they'd actually pull that stunt right in front of the seniors.
Truly… absolutely brilliant!
( ￣▽￣)
Now he could happily go drink beer with Azusa-nee~
Grab!
Two powerful hands yanked Shiro straight into the beast pile!
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
"Damn it! What the hell are you two doing?!"
"Shiro, don't even think of escaping! We're your most important teammates!"
"The three of us are an unbreakable trio!"
"What trio?! The trio I want to join is over with Chisa—wait! Stop pulling my underwear!!"
"AAAAAHHHH!!!"
And so, Shiro, Iori, and Kohei—tragically defeated~