Thursday, October 31st, Halloween, Hogwarts' Dungeons, during the Feast
In the dark corridor, Professor Quirrell walked ahead of a troll, trying to keep it a little quiet as he let it out of its shackles and out of the dungeons where it could cause dismemberment, death, and destruction - the 3-D's in his book.
"Now remember, beast, you are to kill as many students as you can. Create as much confusion as you can. I want chaos to rule the houses!"
"Urr… offer to fill out their tax forms for a nominal fee… got it."
"No, no, no, beast. This has nothing to do with taxes! You will do as I command! Chaos! Confusion! Killings! The three C's of life!" (Hey, no one ever said he was good as spelling.) "I want all of this!"
"Urrr… tell them I'm a lawyer and have some papers for them?"
"No, no, no! Good try, but it lacks the finality that killing the children will have. Now, what are you going to do again? Hmmm?" Quirrell cocked his head to the side and put his fists on his waist as he looked up at the large troll.
"Urrr… offer them a cup of tea but then say I don't have any?"
"No, no, no! Blast it, beast! You're not paying attention!"
"Urrr… what's my motivation again?"
"Aaarrrgh!" This is worse than when I was a student here and that pesky girl kept asking me to run and kick a ball that she was holding, he thought. A little crucio after the third time she whisked it away before I could kick it certainly did wonders for my mood. Too bad I can't use that curse on this beast. His hide protects him. As does his low brain power.
"Urrr… you know, you're not very good at this. If you're going to manage dangerous creatures like myself, you've got to know how they tick and all."
"You're a mindless killing machine! Telling you to have at it should be all I need to do to have you go on a killing spree!" Isn't it?
"Urr… I went to school, you know. I wanted to go to dental school after I graduated and be a hygienist but I was told there wasn't any need for a troll working on teeth by my guidance counselor. And that I should look for a job as a bouncer at a bar, pub, or strip joint."
"And does that make you angry?"
"Urrr… yes. I don't drink so I don't want to work at a pub, club, or any other drinking establishment. I wanted to work on bringing bright smiles to the world."
"Good, good. Use that. It was the kids who told your guidance counselor that no one wanted a troll dentist."
"Urrr… hygienist."
"Whatever. The kids told you that you couldn't do are just like these kids here. Does that make you angry? Angry enough to want to kill them all?"
"Urrr… yes, it's a start. But if I had some vanilla ice cream I'd be okay and my mood swing would go away."
"Sorry, beast, but Hogwarts doesn't have any more vanilla. Only strawberry these days. All the kids ate the vanilla ice cream just today in fact."
"Urrr… no vanilla?! That makes me so angry! Hulk smash!"
Professor Quirrell guided his enraging troll out of the dungeons and up some stairs to the ground level. Soon he would leave the beast and run to the Grand Hall where he'd announce the troll was loose, then collapse, letting all the students and staff run to safety. Then he'd go see how to get past that first protection that fool Dumbledore put on the stone. Then he'd have his life back - and immortality once again!
"Remember, beast, those same children ate all the vanilla ice cream! Lapped it up one might say. They even threw some of it away once they'd had a bite, saying they were lactose intolerant."
"Rarrr!"
"They laughed while eating it, not even thinking of the troll here who wanted a bowl of its creamy goodness to slake his aching urges!"
"Rarrr!"
"Now remember: the three c's! Chaos! Confusion! Kill!"
"Rarrr?!"
"No vanilla ice cream!"
"Rarrr!!!"
"Eeeeekk!"
Quir-riddle whipped his turbaned head around and immediately spied the four second-year students who had just turned a corner on their way to the Great Hall. The three girls and one boy all had equal startled expression on their faces.
"Professor! Look out! There's a big hairy man with a club behind you!"
"Vanilla ice cream!"
"Rarrr!"
"Paul, you save the professor!" He must be too startled to think right as he's spouting nonsense now! Robin, you, Felicity and myself use that spell apprentice Potter taught us the other day! We've got to save the poor man!"
"Right!" Paul Dattatreya, a 2nd year Ravenclaw said, rushing towards Professor Quirrell and tackling him to the ground and out of the way of the big, hairy, scary man.
The three young witches raised their wands and incanted, "Wingardium Leviosa!"
The strength of the three witches' spells combined to rip the club out of the troll's hands and levitate it to the ceiling.
"Rarrr?!" the troll looked up at his club in confusion.
"Now what, Kira?" Felicity Felixia (also a 2nd year Ravenclaw) said.
Kira Bartholomew (a 2nd year Gryffindor) immediately came up with a solution. "Give me control of the club, girls. I have an idea!"
"Letting up… now," Robin Conner (also a 2nd year Gryffindor) informed her. Kira immediately felt the addition of club's weight to her spell.
"All yours," Felicity cut the power of her spell.
"Professor! Quit struggling! You don't know what you're doing!"
"Ice cream!"
"Rarrr!"
BAM! BAM-BAM!
Kira took control of the floating club and used it to wallop the troll several times on the head. "Leave that poor professor alone! He's very confused these days!"
"Ice cream! Ice cream!"
BAM!
The glassy-eyed troll wobbled and staggered a couple steps.
"Kira! The professor's free! I couldn't hold him any longer!"
"What?!"
....
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