Barchoke tugged at his tight collar and wiped beads ofsweat from his clammy brow as he pored over, and mentally revised, his latestlengthy read. The last several books had certainly proved invigorating to thenormally stolid banker and while Lester might think they could hold clues toDumbledore's plans there was no reason he couldn't recast the characters intosomething a bit more appropriate.
[Overseer Barchoke's] eyes blazed like [newly mintedgalleons]. His gaze seemed to reach into the very heart of [Secretary Trixie'smoney pouch], [claiming it], claiming her. His strong arms circled around herin a [possessive] embrace.
"Oh [Overseer], you're so [rich]!" [SecretaryTrixie] exclaimed. Her [leather armor] was ripped and torn from the [dragon's]heinous claws, her bosom heaving as she seemed to breathe for the first timesince he left to [plunder] the fearsome beast['s hoard].
"I thought you'd surely be [squashed]!" shecried, crushing herself against the strong masculine form of her [new master].
"Never, while [there are spoils to claim],"[Overseer Barchoke] said as he [smirked triumphantly]. Oh, how he [smirked asmirk] that seemed to fill the entirety of the [dragon pits] with [gold].
"Not even [Gringotts most] fearsome beast could keepme from [my due]," [Barchoke chuckled]. "And with [help from thesmiths of old], I've slain the beast, and no one will ever need to fear from it[as we feast on its corpse]."
The [Secretary] looked down to the [money sack] on[Barchoke's belt]; [it] seemed to [bulge] with the [weight] of [Barchoke'sdesire] for her until [it threatened to pound her senseless].
"Oh [Overseer Barchoke]."
"Overseer Barchoke?" the secretary asked again,pulling the Overseer out of his read and sending him scrambling to hide thebook in his lap and cover it in files as he hunched over to protect himself.
"What? What is it?" he asked the female goblinquickly.
"You wanted to know when Mr. Malfoy left," hissecretary reminded him.
"Oh, yes. And?" he said uncertainly.
"Mr. Malfoy's left," she said with a shrug, herscratchy voice cracking a bit as she pointed out the obvious. She sounded likefingernails on a chalkboard; it made the skin on his back crawl in a way anygreen-blooded goblin male would find irresistible.
"Right," the Overseer said. "And LitigatorLichfield?"
"He's gone to find Mr. Potter," her voicecracked again, making his shoulders writhe and fingers twitch. "You wantme to take care of that?" she asked, pointing to the files in his lap.
"No, no! I'll take them with me," he saidquickly, trying to get his mind back on business where it belonged.
"Are you alright there, Boss?" his secretaryasked suddenly, eyeing him shrewdly from the doorway as she scratched her headat the base of one of her two puffy pigtails. "You've been kind of oddlately."
"I'm fine. Thank you, Secretary Trixie, that will beall," Barchoke said dismissing her.
As the door to his office closed Barchoke gathered up hisfiles from his lap and placed the book in a drawer containing several others ofthe same kind. Odd, she said. He'd been acting odd for so long others nowthought him odd when he wasn't acting odd any more. If he'd been a normalbanker he would have gotten involved with his secretary years ago and had abrood of little goblins trying to kill each other by now.
Bank fraud. Embezzlement. Conspiracy. Coercion. Torture.Profit. Death. Rebellion. World Domination!
His mind back on business, Overseer Barchoke left hisoffice.
...
"The Puckle," Hermione said to Harry as theywalked towards the gleaming white bank.
"-Also called the Dreaded Doctor Puckle," herfather interrupted, giving Harry his spooky-eyes and wiggly-finger combo tosuitably exaggerate his point that the whole thing was nonsense.
"-Stands for Dr. Monica J. Puckle," shecontinued as if nothing had happened. "She's a rather accomplished oraland maxillofacial surgeon."
Harry looked at her quizzically.
"She also happens to be my mother," sheadmitted finally.
"Oh," he said uncomfortably, probablyremembering what she'd said about the strained relationship there. "Ithought you said both your parents were dentists."
"You still using that old line?" her fatherasked cheerily behind her.
"Technically they are," she said. "It'sjust easier to imply they're both the same than to explain my dad caps teethwhile my mother rearranges jaws after they've been shattered incollisions."
"So when he said she was the doctor in thefamily-?"
"He meant a proper doctor," Hermione explained."Dentists aren't called doctor, didn't you know that?"
"The Dursleys didn't care about my teeth enough forme to know," he confided in her.
"Well then," her father said happily, "weshould make you an appointment."
"Dad, they have magic," Hermione said quicklybefore the mad old dentist could start digging through Harry's mouth in themiddle of the street. "If he really needs cavities filled, Madam Pomfreycould probably fix them in a heartbeat."
"But why would he want it done quickly andpainlessly when it can be done with drills?" he asked with an odd look onhis face. "Next you'll be saying you don't want big bulky braces to takecare of your teeth."
Hermione felt guilty and kept quiet rather than admit thetruth. The silence stretched for a moment before he gave her a scratch on thetop of her head like she were some kind of humanoid cat.
"Don't tell your mother," he said.
She couldn't help but shake her head. She should'veexpected that; he always did the opposite of what people expect. Suddenly shewas more committed than ever to keep him away from Ron. Her dad would onlyconfirm everything he'd ever thought about muggles and it'd be impossible toconvince him her father was a fluke.
Harry stopped dead in his tracks. "Where's Malfoygoing?" he asked, looking off to one side.
Hermione turned to see Draco and his father disappeardown a certain side street she had no intention of going down again.
"That's nowhere you want to be," the grizzledelderly man she assumed was Lichfield said, giving Harry a poke to the side ofthe head as if to keep him from running off to investigate.
"Oh!" Harry said suddenly. "Hermione, thisis Lichfield. Lichfield, this is Hermione - and her dad. Sorry," he saidto her father, "I didn't catch your name."
"Yes, Hermione seems to have forgotten it; everyonecalls me Dan," he said, shaking Lichfield's hand. "He's rightthough," he said to Harry as they started moving again. "That's not aplace I'd like to go again."
Lichfield looked at him curiously. "What were youdoing in Nockturn Alley?"
"We got turned around on our last trip and ended upthere," her father explained. "One look at those skulls and we knewwe weren't in Kansas anymore. For a minute there I thought we were going to getmugged."
"A muggle like you was lucky not to getkilled," the grizzled old lawyer said.
"Yes, it did look particularly dodgy," herfather smiled, safe and warm in the bright sunshine of Diagon Alley. "Weprefer the term 'non-magical' though; 'muggle' sounds way too diminutive to berespectful."
.....
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