Romans turns his gaze back on me, he looks mad, this causes me to shake in my shoes. " Why did you do that?" He demands, his voice is sharp, never in a million years did I think my first interaction with Roman Carter would be over an argument. " You don't understand" I say, my voice low, I maintain eye contact with him I can't make myself look weak. " Oh, I don't understand?" The only thing I understand is what your doing with Julianna, is too far, and what you did just now proved it".
After saying that he storms off, leaving me alone in shame. Did I just get scolded by my own crush?
That was surprising, honestly I feel numb; I don't cry, I don't say anything, just bite the inside of my cheek and clench my jaw. I can't believe I had to get scolded by my own crush, all because of someone as naive as Julianna who can't even stick up for herself, she was always the type not to argue, everybodies " little angel".
She left, she just walked away like I'm not worth fighting for. My chest aches, I don't know why. All I can say is that my hate has just increased more for her, why the heck does she have to paint herself as the victim and make me look like the bad guy? I was hurt too…
Aside from my anger which takes up half of my feelings as of now, there is also something else… wavering in the inside of my mind.. Nostalgia.
I have always been a person of nostalgia and emotion, I get emotional for the smallest reasons, I'll be sitting doing nothing, then I remember things memorable to me, and tears just stream out of nowhere. For right now my nostalgia holds memories of my once best friend, our old friendship, honestly everything…
Lucas leans over, " You okay?" His voice is quiet, and steady, I look over to his side and see Gabriela looking at me like I'm some kind of villain. Great, her first impression of me is this, she probably hates me.
I let out a breath. " Yeah, I just.." I shake my head, forcing a small, humorless laugh, " I guess I wasn't expecting… Any of that". He frowns but doesn't say anything.
" Me either.. Yku might want to sit down though, everyone is staring at you", I look around, everyone is staring at me like that scene in The Lion King, when simba was shown to the animal kingdom, yea no this is embarrassing.
I sit back down, and turn back to my food, trying to ignore the lingering glances, and whispers. I still feel numb, I eat my food faster than usual. I guess this is my way of coping with things, the taste of the mashed potatoes, and chicken tenders fills my mouth, my focus temporarily goes on the taste but after I swallow I am hit with the memories rushing back in.
I can't do this no more. I rise up to throw away my food in the trashcan, and come back to swing my backpack on my shoulders, I then rush out of there without looking back, I think I heard Lucas call me, but my memories seemed to overpower sound at this state.