This wasn't my first trip to Ryūchi Cave. Anko had insisted…. well, fine, maybe I'd pleaded a little that I needed summons. They were my first contract. The snakes had seemed like a logical choice at the time, given my relationship with their most obnoxious contractor. The idea of giant snakes fighting for me had seemed cool at the time. Very edgy, very misunderstood protagonist energy. So I'd signed the contract, bled on the scroll, done the whole ritualistic song and dance.
And then I'd promptly stopped using them after one particular moody bastard decided mid-battle that he didn't appreciate being "ordered around by a whelp" and tried to eat me instead of the enemy. That was five, maybe six years ago. Turns out snakes were even more unpleasant and annoying than the raccoons or the red pandas, which was saying something.
So while I'd been to this damp, gloomy hellhole a couple of times, this was definitely the first time I'd accidentally stumbled into it.
I sighed, eyes fixed on the yawning darkness of the cave mouth, waiting for whatever enormous slithering noodle had orchestrated this to make its entrance.
I should've been more careful. The reverse summoning jutsu was a finicky technique and should not be trusted lightly. Anything that dealt with spatial manipulation was inherently dangerous. This one even more. But I'd gotten lazy since reverse summoning required permission from the contract holder. I had multiple summon contracts, sure, but only one had marked my name for that specific technique— the Momiji Sanctuary. They were my primary anchor.
Apparently, the snakes had decided to add themselves to the list, without asking. I hadn't summoned one in half a decade. For them to hijack the jutsu meant someone on this end had deliberately forged a link, opened the door, and dragged me through.
And since snakes didn't do anything for free, the question wasn't how, but why. I barely had any dealings with them anymore. I'd written them off as more trouble than they were worth.
No. That isn't the important question right now. I squinted at the darkness of the cave, making out three distinct shapes, more than one, massive, serpentine, lazily slithering forward. The important question was how to deal with this unforeseen and rather bad situation. These were snakes. It was wiser to assume a trap than a forced social visit.
This place stank of copper and mildew. Traps were indeed the most likely possibility. Since reverse summoning was a one-way trip unless you had a return ticket, and my clones were on a four-hour timer to summon me back, I was stuck here until then.
I pulled two Firehand paper tags from my pouch and strapped them to my forearms, feeling the comforting weight of explosive insurance. Better to have them ready.
The three snakes lazily slithered out of the cave, their movements synchronized in a way that was deeply unnerving. They were massive. Each one easily thirty feet long, bodies as thick as tree trunks. Their scales were a mottled brown that looked ancient, weathered, like old leather left too long in the sun.
Each wore a red scarf wrapped around the base of their heads, frayed at the edges, the fabric incongruously domestic against their reptilian bulk. Their eyes were a sickly yellow-green with black outlines, cold and flat, a gaze that didn't see you as a person so much as a potential meal.
I recognized them. The Three Giant Snakes. Their name was about as creative as their appearance, which was to say, not at all. But the reason they were called that wasn't just because there were three of them. It was because they were all connected, merged together by the tail into one grotesque, three-headed nightmare.
"So you're the one behind this, huh?" I called out, my voice echoing off the wet stone. "Gotta say, usually I like a little dinner and conversation before being whisked away to a secluded location. Call me old-fashioned."
I wasn't talking to the snakes. They were the older sort, not capable of speech, or rather seeing human speech beneath them. No, I was talking to the figure standing atop the middle snake's head, arms crossed, looking far too pleased with himself.
"I should've expected it would be you, Orochimaru."
The legendary Sannin laughed, that eerie, breathy "kukukuku" sound that made my skin crawl every time I heard it. His pale face was lit by the bioluminescent glow of the cave, making him look even more corpse-like than usual.
"My apologies, Eishin-kun," Orochimaru purred, voice smooth and amused, his golden slit vertical pupils fixed on me with predatory amusement. "I thought directness would be appreciated. Besides, dinner implies hunger, and I find my hunger is... intellectual these days."He shifted his weight, the purple rope belt around his waist swaying. "I believe this is the first time we've had the pleasure of speaking directly. How... fortuitous."
"It is," I nodded, plastering a polite smile on my face that didn't reach my eyes. "I would like to apologise as well. I would've added a 'sama' out of respect for your legendary status, but 'Orochimaru' is a long name. That's a mouthful. Efficiency and all that, I'm sure you would understand."
That seemed to amuse him more than anything. He laughed again, that unsettling chuckle, and tilted his head like a curious predator. "How considerate of you, Eishin-kun. As a benevolent elder, I understand that five syllables may be the cognitive limit for some. No need to overtax yourself on my account, lest you strain the limits of your mind. How awful would that be? Take your time and operate within your capacity. That's the least I can do."
I pursed my lips. Alright, point to the snake man. I'd walked right into that one. Note to self: don't get into a snark-off with a Sannin who's been alive longer than my last two lives combined.
"What do you want, Orochimaru?" I asked flatly, cutting to the chase.
He tilted his head, long black hair sliding over his shoulder like liquid ink. "Straight to the point. Such impatience. And here I was enjoying our small talk. It reveals so much about character."
I gave him a look. really? The small talk I was losing, I mused. You just want to rub in the fact that you verbally backhanded me five seconds ago. Petty bastard. Of course, he was gloating.
"Fine, fine," Orochimaru said, waving a pale hand dismissively. "Young people these days. So impatient. No appreciation for conversation." He smiled, all teeth and no warmth. "I simply wanted to meet the famous shinobi who's caused the village to descend into such delightful ripples in the Leaf. You've made quite the impression, Eishin-kun."
"The village has always been in shambles," I cut in.
"Perhaps," Orochimaru conceded, his smile widening. "But never quite this entertaining. "His tongue darted out, wetting his lips. "Things had grown so dull lately. And killing a Kage? At your age?" He clapped his hands together mockingly. "That's no small feat. Congratulations are in order."
I nodded. "Congratulations aren't needed, but I'll accept them anyway. If that's all—"
I started to turn, subtly angling toward an exit strategy.
I grumbled inwardly. Funny how you can be a Jounin for years and nobody cares, but you kill one Kage, and suddenly every psychopath with a god complex wants to be pen pals.
"Oh, not so fast," Orochimaru crooned.
The three giant snakes surged forward a few meters, the sound of their scales hissing against the rock. The distance between us closed uncomfortably.
I narrowed my eyes, muscles tensing.
"What is it?" I asked, keeping my tone light despite the threat level spiking. "You've met me. You've congratulated me. We've exchanged pleasantries. Usually, this is the part where we go our separate ways and ignore each other for a decade."
Orochimaru put on a pained expression, pressing a hand to his chest like I'd wounded him. "So cold, Eishin-kun. Is that any way to treat the teacher of your lover?" He smirked, one eye gleaming with malicious amusement. "Ah, but perhaps I misspoke. Since she's merely one of many, perhaps your relationship isn't strong enough to warrant respect for her sensei. Understandable."
I raised an eyebrow. If Orochimaru thought he'd landed a checkmate there, he was sorely mistaken. I really didn't care that people knew I wasn't monogamous anymore, or maybe never had been, depending on how you counted. Recognition was the least I could offer the women in my life. They deserved that much.
If the snake wanted to leverage my non-monogamy against me, he'd find it a blunt tool at best. That said, if Orochimaru had thrown Kushina into the mix, that would've been another story entirely. The Hokage's wife having a one-time encounter with me, then it getting out? That would be a tragic story.
I restrained the urge to pat my pocket, where a pair of red panties was currently stashed like a radioactive talisman. Keep it cool, Eishin.
I swatted a hand dismissively. "You're milking a relationship that's been dry for a decade, Orochimaru. It's getting a little sad, honestly. Like an ex who keeps showing up to family reunions uninvited." I let a smirk creep onto my face. "You're not her teacher anymore. Haven't been for years. She made that pretty clear when she carved your name out of her life."
Orochimaru laughed again, that low, unsettling sound. "Ah, but a teacher is a teacher for life, Eishin-kun. The bond between master and student transcends petty things like betrayal or abandonment. The imprint remains. It's... indelible. Surely you understand that, given your recent... acquisition of a pink-haired pupil."
My jaw tightened. He'd done his homework. But I couldn't quite tell if he was trying to unsettle me with that knowledge or flex of his influence within the Anbu.
"What do you want?" I asked, voice dropping into something colder, more annoyed.
Orochimaru studied me with that creepy smile for a long moment, like he was savoring my irritation. Then he leaned back, spreading his hands in a gesture of faux apology.
"You must think me terribly rude for bringing you here like this," he said smoothly. "Trapping you in a damp cave, surrounded by unpleasant creatures. But I assure you, Eishin-kun, this isn't a trap. It's merely... a necessary precaution."
He spread his hands in a gesture that was meant to be conciliatory but just looked theatrical. "I simply had no other option, you see. If I were to formally invite you, or worse, visit you... well, things would go poorly for both of us, wouldn't they? The village leadership is so... jumpy these days. They have eyes everywhere, especially on me. I was thinking of your safety as much as my own. I do hope you'll extend me the courtesy of understanding. Sometimes, circumstances force our hand."
Internally, I had to agree with the logic, even if I hated the source. Meeting the Snake Sannin in the open would be suicide for my reputation. Orochimaru might not technically be a rogue ninja—Minato still tolerated his presence—but he was under constant surveillance. Being seen conspiring with him would validate every suspicion Danzo and the council had about me.
But I refrained from scoffing out loud. Fancy words didn't change reality. This was a trap. Whether he called it a "precaution" or a "surprise party," I was surrounded by giant snakes in a hostile place against my will. A trap by any other name still smelled like reptile piss and danger.
The question was... why? What was the objective?
I had an idea. And if I was right, this conversation was about to get a lot more interesting. Or a lot more violent. Probably both.
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