Peter plucks one off the top. It has a technicolor picture of a Dalek and Peter reads aloud,
" Robotics Club: Exterminate the competition at this year's regionals." He raises an eyebrow at Ned. "Is this how I own my badassery?" "In fact, it is. Remember how I'm definitely the best friend and possibly the greatest human being you've ever known? These are all of the after school activities my mom is making me take. I thought, since you, you know, love me so very much, you might make this very extensive list of extracurriculars more bearable by possibly picking one or two that you could—"
"Yeah, dude, I'm in," says Peter, unhesitating. "For all of it."
"For real?" Ned, who was clearly gearing up for more of a fight, practically sags with relief. "Oh, my god, you have no idea how much better band practice is going to be with you there. My mom is making me play the tuba. The tuba, Peter, like I'm not enough of a—are you okay?"
Peter has gone still. In shuffling through the pamphlets, he ' s just come across one for an after-school literacy program, wherein the older kids apparently walk down to the elementary school to read with fourth graders. Where the Red Fern Grows features prominently on the front.
"Um," says Ned, "you don't have to do all of them, Peter. If reading isn' t your thing—"
"No, I want to."
I don't want to be home all the time. (And why is that? Think, Peter. Why is that?)
Because something is wrong with me.
" Okay …
okay?"
are you sure you ' re
Peter runs a hand over the pamphlets, fidgets. Now he is the one avoiding Ned's eye. "Do you think Ben would have… do you think he'd like Skip?"
"Oh. Oh, um. Why do you ask? Has he—has he been treating you okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah, he's been great. Like, really, really nice. I guess I just… it weirds me out a little. Like maybe he' s being too nice. I guess I just feel like I don't deserve it. Or something."
"Peter." Ned tugs the pamphlet out of Peter's hand, forcing him to look up. "You've been through so much, dude. Like, a genuinely crazy amount of crap. I think it… makes sense you' d be a little, uh, criss-crossed. But people are supposed to be nice to you. You know that, right?"
Peter smiles. It's an effort, but once its on his face it comes easier.
"Thanks Ned," he says.
Ned relaxes. He smiles back. " Of course. You know I've always got you, man. Now if you ' re done being morose, please let me tell you about the decathlon team captain. That is one club you're going to thank me for."
Slowly, Peter's life begins to come back together. He joins band and robotics club and mathletes and decathlon (and immediately develops a raging crush on the captain, Liz, just as Ned predicted). After he turns in a few homework assignments, most of his teachers forget their initial wariness and stop watching him out of the corners of their eyes when they think he won't notice. It takes a little longer for the students, but after a month has gone by and Peter hasn't pulled a shiv on anyone, they start to lose interest. After six weeks everyone except Flash treats him like any other lowly freshman, and Peter can't bring himself to care too much about that, as Flash has always treated him like dirt.
He's busy. He's excelling at school. He has Ned. It's almost like it was before, except that the negative space left in Ben's absence seems just a little deeper now, surrounded as he is by reminders of the life he used to have with his uncle. Deeper, but not sharper. Just as with his parents, the edge of grief is beginning to wear off.
Things at the apartment have calmed down too. Since that first nightmare, Lily has slept soundly through the night, and as the weeks wear on, Peter becomes more and more convinced that his initial wariness about Skip was just a product of some weird reaction to the circumstances in which he came to live with him. Besides a few uncomfortable hugs, a few lingering stares, Skip is the definition of the perfect parent attentive, sympathetic, available. He won ' t ever be Ben, but Peter ' s appreciation for Skip grows every time he sees a packed lunch waiting for him on the counter, or a text on his phone, letting him know not to stay out too late, letting him know he's missed. Peter loves the girls. He loves them almost as much as he loved Ben, loves them so much it scares him a little. They love him right back: Lily, vivacious as ever; Emma, quieter, but warming to him a little more each day. They both kiss him on the cheek before bed each night, now.
Just as with his grief for Ben, Peter's skittishness starts to wear off. He sleeps better. He doesn't steal food as much — only when he ' s stressed about a test, and once before his first decathlon meet, but otherwise his little pile stagnates. The ghoul on his shoulder has even receded, its little whispered warnings growing quieter and quieter until Peter almost doesn' t hear them at all anymore.
He starts to believe, once again, that everything is going to be okay.
Which is, of course, when everything falls apart.
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