Pshhh—
The straw pierced the thin seal of the juice box with a faint, odd sound.
Takakai turned to look at Gotou Hitori, who was slumped against the wall in a daze, her soul seemingly evaporated. After a brief hesitation, he held out the juice toward her.
At that moment, repair crews on the street were grumbling as they fixed the knocked-over billboards and road signs. A small crowd had gathered around a tilted utility pole, snapping photos.
Though they were some distance away, Takakai could still catch snippets of conversation—apparently, this wasn't the first time something like this had happened. The city had seen its fair share of wrecked poles and signs.
Surely Bocchi-chan isn't responsible for all of them…?
With that thought, Takakai glanced back at the girl sitting blankly in the alley. She had instinctively taken the juice but remained frozen, like a statue.
"Hey, snap out of it. Class dismissed."
He waved a hand in front of Gotou Hitori's face.
"..."
No response.
The girl sat in silence, completely unresponsive to his voice or movement.
"Look, don't overthink it. I'll help you rescue your friend, Kita Ikuyo. You've helped me before—I'm not the type to forget a favor. If I say I'll do it, I'll give it everything."
Takakai sat down beside her, keeping a respectful distance, and spoke in his most reassuring tone.
"..."
Still nothing. Gotou Hitori remained motionless, like a crashed program.
…Did her soul just leave her body?
Scratching his head, Takakai wasn't sure what to do next.
After a moment, he finished his own juice and handed her the empty cup.
Blank-faced, Gotou Hitori accepted it with her free hand—now holding a juice box in one hand and an empty cup in the other, still staring into the void.
Her body's on autopilot even if her brain's offline?
…Kinda funny, honestly.
A mischievous urge stirred inside him.
A girl this peculiar and amusing was practically begging to be teased.
But how?
All sorts of ideas bubbled up—harmless pranks, slightly mean ones (though he'd never actually do those).
But the moment that faint malice flickered in his heart, Gotou Hitori's Blessing of Perception activated.
Her vacant eyes sharpened instantly, locking onto him with sudden wariness.
Then she realized she was sitting on the ground, holding two cups.
…Huh?
Slowly, she turned to look at Takakai.
Even though he was sitting a good two meters away, she still recoiled as if crushed by an invisible pressure, her face twisting in discomfort.
Next, she stared at the juice in her hands.
Her sluggish brain finally rebooted, replaying the last few minutes:
Her collapsing on the street.
Takakai dragging her out of a cardboard box and into this alley.
Him handing her two drinks, then sitting nearby with that look on his face.
I'M DOOMED.
She had been seen in her most pathetic, uncoolest state—no dignity, no "elite player" façade left.
There was no way Takakai would take her seriously now.
In her mind's eye, a scene unfolded:
[Takakai-san, clad in a sharp black suit and sunglasses, sits atop a high throne, glaring down at a kneeling Ogiwara Ken.]
"Ken. Explain why trash like Gotou is even on the player roster. Are you trying to sabotage me?"
[Ogiwara bows deeply, sweat pouring down his face.]
"My deepest apologies! This disgrace will be expelled immediately!"
[The camera pans to Gotou Hitori, now surrounded by a mob of judgmental players.]
"A player this embarrassing is a blight on our reputation. Sentence: Death. Charge? Uh… 'Being Too Cringe.' Yeah, that works."
[The crowd nods in solemn agreement.]
Having mentally sentenced herself to execution, Gotou Hitori's expression turned to ash. She slumped further, a hollow shell of despair.
"..."
Takakai, watching her face cycle through a full emotional spectrum, had no idea how to react.
What the hell is going on in that head of hers…?
In manga or anime, the audience would at least get a glimpse of Bocchi's delusional inner theater. But as an unwitting actor in this scene, Takakai was completely lost.
Still, with mood swings that dramatic, her imagination had to be working overtime.
He tried to think of a way to break the ice, but communicating with Gotou Hitori seemed even harder than dealing with Shinomiya Kaguya.
Then, just as suddenly as she had shut down, the pink-haired girl blinked back to reality.
She scrambled to her feet, clutching both cups, and opened her mouth—
"I…"
Her voice died in her throat. Tears welled up again.
"Hey, take it easy. No rush."
Takakai softened his tone and took a step back to give her space.
"I… I-I'll… I won't drag you down! So, so please, Takakai-san… d-don't kick me out of the team… d-don't execute me…"
She managed to force out the words before bending into a bow so deep her head nearly touched her ankles.
Takakai, meanwhile, was at a complete loss.
Kick her out? Execute her?
Girl, if we ignore my watch's save-scumming, a straight fight between us could go either way.
You're a13-mission veteranwithdouble S-tier Twilight Night blessingsand anA-rank Crimson Moon enhancement—how are youthistimid?! Are you the'Wandering Loser'meme incarnate?! With stats like yours, have some damn confidence!
The urge to roast her was overwhelming.
But he knew that if he actually let loose, Bocchi-chan might just melt into a puddle on the spot.
After a long, long internal struggle, Takakai took a deep breath and mustered his most sincere smile.
"Gotou-san, without your help, I'd never have made it out of Fujika Academy alive. To me, you've always been an incredibly strong, incredibly kind senpai. So please—let's work together to crush this 'School Horror Tales' dungeon, save everyone trapped inside, and rescue your precious friend, Kita-san."
His voice was firm, earnest.
Gotou Hitori blinked.
"…I'm strong?" she mumbled.
"Absolutely. You're amazing. The fact that a Crimson Moon-tier player like you was willing to help a newbie like me and Maki-chan? I'm grateful."
Seeing her waver, he doubled down on the praise.
"Eh? R-really that amazing?"
Her face flickered with uncertainty.
"Of course! You're reliable, trustworthy—this mission's counting on you!"
He amped up the enthusiasm.
"Ehehe… I-I'm not that great…"
Her expression shifted from despair to a goofy grin in seconds.
Now she was beaming, scratching her head bashfully, her whole demeanor screaming "More! Keep going!"
…Easier to handle than I expected.
Takakai had just unlocked a critical insight into Gotou Hitori's psyche.
This personality… No wonder she maxed out Luck.
She'd had the fortune of meeting supportive seniors early on, then someone like Aoyama Nanami—a natural caretaker. No shock she'd kept her original personality despite climbing to Crimson Moon rank.
That said, with her Twilight-tier Blessing of Malice Detection, she probably wouldn't act like this around genuinely hostile people.
For now, though—keep the compliments flowing.
"Gotou Hitori is an undeniably dependable, powerhouse player."
Takakai delivered the line with full conviction.
"Ehehe, really? Really?"
She swayed slightly, eyes half-lidded like a cat being petted.
"Having someone as capable as Gotou-san as an ally is a blessing!"
He turned up the intensity.
"Ehehe~ I'm just okay, I guess~"
She rocked back and forth, basking in the praise like a sunflower under noon light.
"Gotou-san is the best!"
"Ehehehe~ (￣▽￣)"
"Gotou-san is world-class!!"
"Ehehehe~ (￣︶￣)"
"Gotou-san is unstoppable!!!"
"Ehehehehe~ ︿(￣︶￣)︿"
A few more rounds of this, and Takakai was pretty sure she was about to float away like a balloon.
Honestly, this is too fun. I kinda wanna slip in something ridiculous just to see if she'd blindly agree.
But in the end, her sheer innocence made him hold back.
Once she was sufficiently inflated, he smoothly extracted her phone number and address before bidding her farewell.
"See ya, Takakai-san! Leave the next mission to me—I'll carry you!"
The now fully swollen Gotou Hitori struck a triumphant pose.
As for what happened a few minutes later—after Takakai left and reality set in—
Her soul exiting her body as she replayed her own cringe (『SCREAM』 pose achieved).
Her accidentally sipping from the empty cup, realizing it, and short-circuiting in humiliation.
Well… Takakai had at least spared her the dignity of witnessing that meltdown.