Same schedule, same bullshit. I don't care about.
Ignoring my new friends was very short-lived because sitting alone is one of the most embarrassing things ever.
I pulled out my notes and started to half-listen to what the teacher was saying.
Like, I don't think I will ever use a butt fuck class called demonology and supernatural history, but anything to pass the time, right?
Right.
The great rift.
Now what the hell is even that?
A very important moment in demon history that started the divide between humans and demons.
Oh.
This is where demons' sense of elitism is from.
This thing.
Demons slowly became better and stronger than humans, taking over jobs and pushing them out of neighbors.
Soon they took over economies and full countries as well, causing humans to make their own societies to hide from them.
Most of the highest elite demons would not even allow their children to see humans in their lifetime because it was extremely frowned upon.
Oh god.
Now I feel like I am being watched.
I looked around the classroom. Not a single eye on me. "Whats wrong with you?" Jasper asked. He was on his phone.
"Nothing, just felt off," I mumbled. "Okay, let me know if there is anything I can do." I nodded.
Weird as fuck.
The starring feels fucking suffocating and it is making it so hard to focus one at the teacher is saying.
It's like a heat.
Picking on my neck.
But.
No one.
No one is looking at me.
No one in this classroom at least.
But I feel it.
I feel like someone is watching.
Anyway,
Big horns.
Big horned demons aren't supposed to exist.
They were a mistake caused by selective breeding with humans and medium horned demons.
So does that make every big horn have some form of human in them? That's interesting.
That's also crazy how the beings who literally created them, they hate the most.
I feel that actually.
I understand.
I understand that a lot.
I wonder if my Dad was a medium horn or a small horn would I have horns or demon features?
Or is it because he's a big horn and they have some human blood in them, that makes me appear human?
All questions zero answers.
I rub my neck and sigh.
That feeling won't go away.
I wonder if it's.
No.
Don't think about him.
Don't.
"What class do you have next?" Jasper asked me. I felt myself let out a sigh. "Combat and defense training."
"Oh I love that class."
"Yeah well your man is in that class and he is making me dread it and I am human so combat and defense training is useless because I can't use magic."
Jasper rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry about Vincent, just, ugh I don't even know, I will talk to him about it at lunch."
"It's fine." It's not, at all, but okay.
"Well tell me if he does anything, I will see you at lunch," Jasper said, patting my back.
And just as soon as he was walking away I heard it. "Baby."
Jasper turned around and I felt myself do the same. The man of the hour.
"Hi honey," Jasper mumbled and gave him a side hug.
Vincent quickly kissed his head and I watched the two pull back from each other. "Do you wanna go out for lunch?"
"Sure, are you paying?"
"Always, baby." cute.
Really cute actually.
Vincent turned to me. "Would you like to tag along as well?" Feels like an exterior motive, but hell yeah.
"Oh yeah, that will be fun, we could show you all the good spots around school!" Jasper said. "Yeah okay."
"Perfect."
"I'll see you baby," Vincent said and Jasper waved him off.
Fuckkk.
Don't leave please!
Vincent slung his arm around me and put me in a headlock. "Let's go."
The two of us sat down.
Today was a note taking day so I pulled out my notebook.
"You smell good." AH NAH!
"Thanks."
Fucking weirdo.
"Yeah, I think I will have it on alternate days, with combat days and then note taking days." great. I couldn't care less either way.
How do predators track prey in the wild?
Using fear and biological signals to stalk their prey.
That's how demons do it, or at least big horns.
They operate pretty much the same.
Key point: demons don't just see you, they smell your fear, hear your heartbeat and sense weakness.
Now that is fucking horrifying.
"I hear your heartbeat," Vincent mumbled.
AH NAH!
Vincent starts to laugh as he lightly pushes me. "It's a demon thing." But why would you say that out loud?
"Way to go, now I'm heartbeat conscious." the two of us started laughing.
"Anything you'd like to share with the class?" the Instructor said.
"For you to mind your damn business!" Vincent said and the class started laughing.
I watched as Instructor S let out a sigh. "Why don't you and your boyfriend take your conversation outside to the office then?"
Now boyfriend is too far, we were literally just talking.
"He's not my boyfriend."
"Now the human has something to say." I snapped my head towards him in shock.
Dawg you are a teacher what do you even mean by that?
"We were genuinely just talking about what you are teaching. I didn't know demons could hear heartbeats," I said.
"Of course you didn't," Instructor S said.
What?
I watched as Vincent started to do something weird with his hand.
Chairs.
Why are the chairs floating?
"That's not very nice," Vincent said with a smile and I watched as one of the chairs got launched at the instructor.
Oh.
He's doing that.
That's genuinely insane.
"Vincent! Put the chairs down."
"Wow, assuming it's me, that's not very nice either." another one launched.
"Okay, okay. Put the chairs down, I apologize to the human."
"He has a name."
"I apologize to Cassidy." I hear the metal of the chairs hit the ground.
"Now, back to the lesson."
I turned to Vincent who raised his eye at me weirdly.
"Wasn't that cool?"
Did he just stand up for me? "I guess."
Weird.
Back to notes.
Demons detect adrenaline, sweet and pheromones.
Demons, like big horns and some medium horns, can hear human heartbeats like a drum.
That somehow makes it easier for demons to calm their heartbeat and make their opponents spike.
Strong emotions, like anger, lust and terror act like beacons to demons.
I felt myself gulp.
Vincent grabbed my notes and wrote something down on it.
"You're okay about the heartbeat thing, not all demons can do it."
I don't know if that makes me more worried or less.
Demons rely on sensory overload, floating opponents with noise or feelings to disorient them.
Homework answers the 6 questions and journal reflections on personal fear responses.
Homework on the second day is crazy.
"Hey you wanna send me those answers?" Vincent said, grabbing my back pack from me and holding it along with his own.
"Oh thank you and I will think about it," I said and he nodded. "Better than Nate. That stingy fuck won't send me anything. It's always something with him."
I gulped again.
Vincent slung an arm around my shoulder. "He's making your heart race?" he mumbled.
"No."
"Liar, I hear it." I feel my heart pulling while I am thinking about him.
"I'm scared of him because of yesterday."
"That doesn't sound like fear." I turned my head to him as we continued walking. "What do you mean that doesn't sound like fear?" AH NAH!
"Your heartbeat," Vincent said. "What class do?-." he stopped dead in his tracks.
What is this dude on? "I hear my baby."
"What do you mean?"
"I hear his heartbeat."
"You know the sound of his heartbeat?" That's really weird.
"Of course," he says and he turns around. "Hi honey bear, you need me to carry your backpack."
Vincent pulls it off of Jasper's back and holds it.
3 back packs for someone who is on their phone the whole period is crazy.
And what happened to their relationship being a secret? They are so open about it.
Or maybe that's because I already know?
Probably.
"Anyway what class do you have cassidy?" is that the first time he's said my name. "Elmental and shadow magic theory." goofy ass class name.
"Okay cool, that's close to Jasper class," Vincent said.
"Babe, you have class on the other side of campus, don't be late."
"I won't baby, I won't."
Vincent turned to me. "I was gonna ditch, but guess not." I started laughing as Jasper hit the back of his neck.
Vincent handed me my back pack and I thanked him.
"Anything for one of Jasper's friends."
Sure.
I opened the door and I quickly found a seat.
No one sat next to me and I took my notes as people whispered and talked among themselves.
"Hello everyone!" Wow, very loud.
Lesson objectives
1.Understanding the branches of forbidden magic, focusing on shadow weaving.
Because that makes a whole lot of sense to me.
Analyzing a big horn's abilities, a random case.
And 3. Explore psychological vulnerabilities that weaken/strengthen control.
Great, I love when teachers have lesson objectives like this.
What makes a magic 'forbidden?'
I guess it could be subjective.
There are ethical limits, causing irreversible damage and when someone loses their autonomy.
"Cassidy." I perked my head up and stopped taking notes.
"Would you like to answer the question? I see you are taking lots of notes."
No. "Uh yeah sure. So I think that uh forbidden magic can be in the eye of the beholder. Uh there is like an ethical part to it with limits. I feel like if it uh causes irreversible damage or when someone loses their autonomy that could be forbidden."
"Amazing answer, thank you." I nodded and went back to my notes.
What the fuck is shadow magic?
A forbidden branch of arcane manipulation (what) that draws power from the absence of light, both literal and metaphysical (now what does that even mean). It specializes in dominance, deception and the erosion of free will. Unlike elemental magic, which bends external forces, shadow magic invades; it seeps into mind, twists bodies and feeds on emotion.
The more you know.
Now she's got this crazy ass table on the board.
Ability: life essence drains, it steals vitality on touch; leaves victims withered, weakness. Required eye contact or skin contact. Body manipulation (AH NAH!) controls limbs, speech and even organs; holy certain demons can do this on certain beings (thank god). Heartseer hears heartbeats (that's what it is called); loud environments like yelling or a lot of talking can disrupt focus and hearing it. Compulsion words forceactions/speech (AH NAH!); target must hear the command and part of them must be at least slightly willing. Aura lock, emotional fixation creates an obsession.Meaning the person who the lock gets put on becomes obsessed and the one who does it doesn't; backfires if the user feels lust, fear or shame.
Critical detail: power grows with rage, but crumbles with desire or shame.
"And here, I have your exit ticket." I heard the class sigh. "It is one question and it is easy. Stop complaining."
I watched as she put the paper down on my desk.
Would you use shadow magic if there were no consequences?
So basically are you a terrible person or are you normal?
No. I would not, even if I could use it or if I actually had it. But if someone uses it on you, I feel like that's when the question gets weird. I don't know, but I know my answer is no.
I waited for her to come back around and I handed it to her and she smiled at me.
Great.
What a weird question?
I feel like.
I don't know.
I just have this weird feeling.
But.
I can't really put my finger on it.
Whatever.
I walked alone to infernal literature and languages.
I slowly made my way into the class and I already felt bored.
I sat down and the teacher immediately started yapping.
I know who doesn't give a damn about demonic poetry, ME!
I raised my hand. "Uh, can I go to the bathroom?" the teacher nodded and I belined out the door.
I know I said I was going to pay attention but literature is just not my thing.
I mean it is.
But anything with reading or reading out loud is a hell no.
One problem is, I don't know where any of the bathrooms are so I am just gonna keep walking until I find one.
The whole hallway was silent as I wandered the halls.
I don't even have to go to the bathroom, I just can't be bothered with literature.
I pulled out my phone and continued to walk.
I clicked on Theo's contact.
Immediate response hello. "Hi honey." he sounded very out of breath. "Is everything okay?"
Oh that looks like a bathroom. "Yeah, uh, I am going to go out to eat with my new friends during lunch."
"Okay, I will have daddy." disgusting "send you some money. Do you know how much you are going to need?"
"I don't know, uh like 15-20."
I heard shuffling.
"Sorry, was I interrupting something," I said, laughing.
"Yes," I heard my dad say.
"No, honey bear. Your dad will send you 100."
"I'm not…"
"Your dad will send you one hundred dollars. Call me later to let me know the pick up plan as well, okay?"
"Okay, bye."
The line went dead.
I put my phone in my pocket and pushed open the bathroom door.
Uh.
Who is vaping in here? That's gross.
I feel myself gulp as I completely push the door open.
Motherfucker.
I heard the door shut behind me.
Maybe I should turn around before he sees. "Oh look what the cat dragged in."
Nate was leaning up against the sink vaping and I watched as he smirked.
And I thought this guy couldn't get any worse.
Not only is he a creep but he also vapes.
I walk towards the stall but he blocks me.
He has this weird smile on his face and a look I can't really explain. It just felt really off and weird.
"Move."
"Why are you skipping?"
"I'm not, I just have to go to the bathroom, now move!" I spat at him and he just started to laugh.
"No one goes to this bathroom unless they are skipping. Who are you hiding from?" he smirked. "Are you hiding from me?"
"You aren't that special, now get the fuck out of my way." I said and I tried to shove him but it didnt' work.
"Oh the kittens got a bite." kitten? AH NAH!
"Kitten is crazy," I said and I turned around heading back for the door.
I watched as the door clicked. "I asked you a question."
I felt my legs start to walk back towards him.
Magic.
Cheap shot bitch.
I felt him pin me to the wall with one hand besides my head and the other one holding that vape.
He is without a doubt high so I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt right now, because ain't no fucking way.
I felt myself gulp.
He blew smoke all in my face. "No one is getting in here, baby."
Baby is disgusting.
"Who the fuck are you?" Okay 180.
"You know who I am, you stalked me."
"Why did I react that way yesterday?"
"Ask yourself that asshole."
Smoke.
"Why? Why do I feel like I have known you before?"
It's because you are high and "You're a freak that's why."
He is so getting off on this.
Some crazy demon shit.
"You are human aren't you?"
"Half demon."
"Whatever still human, why did you react like that? It's just some life essence, was that a stunt?" he continued without letting me respond. "If you want my attention just say it? I know I'm hot."
And humble too.
"There's plenty of demons that want me, if you faked the reaction just say it and we can move on with this whole thing."
"Yeah dude, not only am I not gay, if I wasn't, I would not be going after you."
Not completely gay.
"Why?" he snapped a little too fast.
Smoke. "Not only am I not into vapers or smokers or whatever BULL SHIT you are blowing in my face right now." I push him back but this time he pins both of my arms dropping his vape in the process.
"You are ugly." lie.
"You liar, I am not ugly. I hear your heart racing right now. Would it be racing if I was ugly?" AH NAH, the way he said that was all off.
"It's racing because my life's in danger right now."
I added. "I also, if I were to go after a man, it wouldn't be a big horn who is a fear monger."
"What's that fucking mean?"
"And a dumb ass too," I mumbled under my breath and I felt his nails dig into my wrist.
Bitch. "A fear monger is someone who tries to make people afraid or be scary for no reason, like you are doing now."
He smirked. "Oh but you like that don't you?"
"No, in fact I do not," I said, trying to push him off me.
"Oh but you do, you wouldn't have faked your reaction like that if you didn't."
"I didn't fake my reaction."
He raised and eyebrow and his looks started to soften. "You didn't?"
"Why would I do that?"
Smoke.
AH NAH, what is that look?
"Hop off, don't look at me like that and stop vaping in my face."
Smoke again.
"The reaction seemed too dramatic."
"Hop off, I have never experienced something…so uh awful and I just reacted like that I was against my will."
"Hop off, what baby? Tell me." this guys a freak holy shit.
A weird smirk on his face.
"Tell me baby." he paused and I felt his hand on my jaw. "Why don't you look me in the eye?"
Hell no. "I learned my lesson that's why."
"Oh I don't think I have."
"I can see that, now let go of me, you freak," I said.
He wouldn't move.
Not again.
This will not happen again.
I shut my eyes as he kept moving my jaw, left and right.
"Come on." he paused. "Your eyes are really pretty, just let me take a look."
"Dude they are dark brown."
"Like honey."
"Like shit, now get off of me." I opened up my eyes and I yanked one of his horns.
He let out this weird ass noise as I try to move.
"You…you bitch." Why is he stuttering? "Let go."
"Get the fuck off of me and I will think about letting you go."
I can feel his heartbeat.
I
I can feel it in the horn, it's pounding, it's pounding so loudly.
I feel myself gulp.
"I asked you to let go!" I feel my arms come to my side, just like he had done, just like my dad had done, and I feel my feet lift off the ground.
He tilts his head back up.
It's this awful feeling.
Having no control over your body.
"Now look at you…stupid," Nate says as he stares at me.
I can't.
I
"You know," his face was different. "You actually have a pretty face."
I don't know if that's a compliment coming from this crazy bitch.
"Uh okay?"
This feels all types of weird.
"Can you let me down?" and stop looking at me how you would look at a piece of meat.
"No, I don't think I will." bitch.
He was actually staring at me so hard oh my god.
"How tall are you?"
"5'8."
"How much do you weigh?"
"Invasive ass question that I don't know the answer too," I mumbled.
He was gearing up to ask something crazy because I can tell he was thinking about it.
"Are you half black?"
"No I am full black? Both of my parents are black, why?" I asked.
"I don't know I was just wondering. Do you look more like your mom or your dad?"
"My stepdad says I look like my dad, when he was younger," I said.
"How old is your stepdad?"
"41."
"And your dad?"
"42."
"Is your stepdad black?"
"No, uh half chinese half puerto rican."
"That's cool."
"Yeah." This is somewhat comforting.
I do enjoy talking about my family, and it gives me a lot of comfort.
"Who do you like more, your stepdad or your dad?"
"My stepdad, just because he's more hands on and my dads monetary support because he's not good with emotions."
Nate nodded intently.
"Do you have any siblings?"
"I don't count them as my siblings, because I hardly see them, but there are 3 of them and they are my half siblings. Like it's not their fault, but because my mom remarried and had them I was no longer her only child and no longer even her child. They are half demons and actually have horns. I don't hate them because it's not their fault, but I'm indifferent towards them. Yeah."
Random lore session.
"Any more questions?"
Looking around for stuff.
More stuff to say.
To complain about.
I watch as he pauses.
"You smell like Vincent."
"I smell like Vincent? That's gross. Probably because he was all over me trying to hold my stupid backpack," I said, laughing.
I felt myself get slammed into the wall and my legs finally touching the floor.
I still couldn't move.
I still didn't even have control over my own body.
His eyes looked different.
They looked.
They made me feel scared.
I couldn't explain it.
"That fucking bitch." Nate started to mumble incoherent words, but I could feel my arms and legs start to hurt.
His hand was crunchy and it was hurting me.
"Nate."
"He already has Jasper, but he just wants to be a greedy fucking piece of shit huh."
"Nate, you are hurting me," I said and it's almost like he didn't hear me because like clockwork he went back to ranting.
One. I need to get back to class. Two I need to get him off me because he is genuinely hurting me.
And if my dad sees these marks, I know he won't let me go to school anymore.
"Nate." he was not listening.
Magic is crazy because why can I not break out of this?
"Nate." nothing.
Oh. Wait a minute.
I know something that will throw him off.
I took a deep breath.
All I gotta do is just run afterwards.
"Vincent," I said.
Nate snapped out his rage induced trance to look at me.
Before he could let out another word, against my better judgment.
I looked him in the eyes.
I felt myself drop to the floor as he stumbled back.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I need it.
One foot in front of the other.
But I need.
Just make it to the door.
I need him.
Out the door.
I want him.
Run.
I want to.
I yanked the handle down.
But go back.
And I ran.
He needs you.
Ignoring the voice at the back of my head and ignoring the heat that was taking over my body.
All I needed to do was run.
After that whole thing I calmed down and gave the teacher some bullshit excuse to save my ass and just like that it was time for lunch.
Great, now I have to see him again.
I walked over to the cafeteria.
"You ready to go out to eat?" I heard Jasper's voice.
I turned around and nodded.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Nothing, you just look a little weird."
"Ouch," I said, laughing and the two of us walked.
"All you have to do is sign out, which is the same password and username you use to check your assignments and stuff."
Which I don't know, but I am sure Theo put something weird.
Cassidyveyne
What password would Theo put.
Something cringe.
What has he done in the past?
Mybabyboy6478.
Bingo.
He's so weird I can't.
The two of us walked out and there Vincent and Nate were.
I am not even gonna look in his direction because what the hell.
"Okay, where would you like to sit?" Jasper asks me.
"Not next to your freak of a man and not next to Nate, please."
"Okay I will ask Vincent if I can sit in the back with you." ask?
The vibes of their relationship just changed in front of my eyes, holy shit.
"You are going to ask him? Why not tell him?"
Right in front of my eyes, holy fuck.
That's not a look I want to see.
That's fear.
AH NAH!
Jasper walked over to Vincent and mumbled something to him.
Vincent looked over at me and then back at Jasper in front of him.
"But I want you to sit next to me."
"I know baby, but you know how…"
"But I want you to sit next to me, I don't care…" his voice dropped low and now I couldn't hear them.
Chills.
The way Nate is only looking at me like he wants to eat me, is telling me this happens a lot.
And it's giving, he don't wanna be saved.
"Baby, please," Jasper said. "We are going to be late coming back."
"And it's going to be your fault, sit with me or stay here."
"Nate…"
"Don't call him."
Mister mediator. "I will gladly sit in the front." nevermind lmao.
He took the front seat without a second thought.
And I got into the back seat and shut the door.
And they are still arguing.
I watched Jasper pulled away from him and got into the back seat with me.
Vincent got in the front seat and turned on the car and music.
I felt myself jerk as he reversed.
Driving angry is not good.
"Ignore him," Jasper said, smiling at me.
He don't wanna be saved.
"Where do you guys wanna go to eat?" Vincent asked stopped at a red light.
"Let's show Cass where we always go," Jasper said, reaching over to pat Vincent.
What the fuck?
"Fine."
After a little bit of driving, we made it to this small restaurant.
The 4 of us got out and made it into the restaurant.
I fucking love dumplings.
"Order," Vincent said to Jasper and he did just that.
I want pork dumplings.
"Is that all for today?"
Vincent looked at Jasper. "You only want six dumplings?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah right," vincent says. "Okay can you let one of them go first and then we will order."
The guy nods.
"Can I get 12 pork dumplings and a water cup?" the guy nods.
"Cash or card?"
"Apple pay." the guy nods and I tap my phone and get my receipt and water cup.
Nate orders and I go back to eves dropping.
"I know you are hungry, order more."
"I'm not, that's all I want to eat," Jasper mummbled.
So they just fighting everywhere now.
"Look I'm sorry for earlier, I didn't mean to yell at you."
"You aren't sorry," Jasper said and I watched Vincent's eyes get angry. "You are never sorry, you just say you are, so I stop acting a certain way."
"Well I don't want you not eating because we fought. You always do that."
"I don't always do that."
So you guys are both the problem is what I am hearing?
"You can be mad at me later, just order what you want and be mad at me later," Vincent said and after more convincing the two of them walked back over to the cashier.
"Can I have 12 pork soup dumplings. One cucumber salad. And then 6 shrimp pan fried dumplings and 6 steamed pork dumplings."
"You order for me too?"
Vincent paid and the four of us go to sit in some table in the back.
I sat down and Nate sat next to me against my better judgment.
Jasper sat on Vincent's lap and started to talk to me like nothing was wrong.
"Are you having fun?" jasper asked.
I nodded. "Yeah." it's nice to have friends even though y'all are arguing like my damn parents.
"Vincent."
"What?"
"Does Jasper know you can't keep your hands to yourself?"
Here we fucking go, neither can you.
"What does that mean?" Jasper asked.
"He knows what that means," Nate spats.
Someone comes over and puts all of the plates in front of us.
"Thank you."
Oh my god they argue a lot holy fuck.
I mean I kind of figured.
Secret relationships normally end with a lot of arguing and Vincent's weird as hell. Anyone who acts like that wouldn't be good in a relationship respectfully.
He seems like a very aggressive, no actually he doesn't seem, he is aggressive. Them not having to hide their relationship in front of us two means also not having to hide their fighting in front of us as well, so you win some you loose some.
I shoveled food in my mouth as the problem did the same.
There's so much I don't know about the three of them, yet they know so much about each other.
The feeling is back.
The feeling, knowing I will never belong.
"Let go."
Never be like anyone.
No humans.
No demons.
My own mother didn't even want me.
I guess that sucks.
Right but she wanted her other half breeds right?
Right?
But not me.
"Vincent, let go."
Oh god.
Why am I spiraling while watching these two fight and eating dumplings?
New environments have that effect on me.
I started to tune back in and finally pay attention to what was happening.
I missed a few chapters because they were sitting back down and Vincent, I think, had one or both of…both of Jasper's arms under the table.
It's scary how fast they went from lovey dovey in the hallways to this in the span of a couple of hours.
Maybe it's some big horn emotion.
Shit I won't ever understand.
I think that's why people say they shouldn't be together. Too much of anything is a bad thing.
"You are hurting me, let go." Jasper's tone was softer, quiter, like he didn't want me and Nate to hear.
Almost like clock work Nate looked up from his phone. "Vincent he said let go."
What the fuck?
Vincent's eyes went black and slumped down.
What the fuck…
Jasper rubbed both his wrist when Vincent let go and I watched the color return to Vincent's eyes.
"You didn't need to do that, I could have handled…"
"But you didn't. And I know you are into that weird crap, but…whatever." Nate stood up.
Did we learn about that shit during class or what?
"We are going to be late," he said to the whole table and started walking towards the door.
What a weird group.
I finished my food and grabbed the trash to throw away.
"I'm still mad at you."
"I know honeybear and I'm sorry."
"You always are," Jasper said.
"Come on I'll make it up to you later," Vincent said, smacking jaspers ass.
Weird.
We got into the car.
Vincent pulled out of his spot with his hand touching jaspers knee. "Keep your hands on the wheel."
"I have one, i just want my baby to stop pouting." respectfully too big to be pouting.
After a hard lunch of third wheeling me and jasper made it to our next class and sat down.
Heat cycles in greater demon lin…lin…i cant spell that word.
Lets cross that out, uh big horned demons, great.
Oh my god, this can't be.
A lesson objective.
Oh right so dont give me any time to read that, right, right.
"Heats, yes they are real. Most of us dont have them besides a select few, and they are very annoying. And no this isnt sex ed." mother fucker.
Only big horned demons and a select few medium horns experienced cycled heats.
From the day, week or month they turn 18 till they die they experience the heat.
That sounds fucking awful.
Oh.
Da…oh fuck, that is what my dad has right now.
Wait how come i never remember him having these before.
Without having suppressant potions to keep it down, these demons experience the following for a week:
1.Mental haze
The mental haze is difculty focusing on anythng expect their bonded mate or potential soulmate.
Oh.
So they are really meant for each other.
That's.
That's some how really sweet and just…makes me wanna smile.
Heightened physical sensitive and irrational behavior
Many demons have to stay home from school or work ebacsue of these rash outbreaks often cause fights and incite unnecessary violence
Extreme emotional fixtion
Smiilar to the first ones, they have an emotional fixation on a single person
If unbonded
They often project those feelings onto whoever they are drawn to, which is very VERY dangerous if midisrected.
I think it might be dangerous, because she capitalized very.
"This is not just about sex. But you guys are old enough so yes your brain will start thinking about it nonstop, so to our 6 medium horns in here pray you don't have the gene and to jasper our lovely big horn, good luck with that."
The class started to laugh and jasper just smiled. "Thank you!" he beamed.
I smiled.
Consequences of untreated heats.
So without medicine or a bonded partner to realse this pressure. The demon may:
Enter a hyperpossive state, extreme aggression if anyone threaten or get close to their desired person.
That's what my fucking dad was doing.
But they cant sense blood? Like im your son, why would i want my stepfather, thats so weird.
Become physically weak from magic loss and hormonal imbalance
Magic used during heats extends the cycle and weakens the demon further.
"In rare cases, it turns violent." almost ended up on the news today god damn. "Thats why the law requires registraion and suppressant access once you are of age."
I.
That's so crazy.
I am genuinely at a lost for words.
How come I never remembered my dad acting like this or having this.
Or maybe my step dad just hides it really well.
Supressants and soulmates.
Here we go.
Little pills exist that suppress heats, often taken monthly by elite demons or the few case medium horns.
The soulmate theory is controverisal but documented cases show demons breaking control when exposed to their match.
I am going to be 3 hundo, I have not a clue what that fucking means.
So how does it work if you are both big horns?
Like jasper and fear monger boy?
And do only men get it? Or do woman big horns also experience it?
And is it different urges? Wait I am so confused.
I wonder if my dad can stay alone or no.
Because i swear he was acting fine like a day ago and the morning of as well.
Thats so weird.
"For your assignment tonight, which you can get started on in class. I want you to take out your computers and research different types of supressants, their side effects and the ethtical debate about soulmate bonding." that is a lot of hickory shit.
I started opening up a whole bunch of tabs.
"Do you have insta?"
I turned to jasper. "Oh yeah."
"Oh cool, here you type yours in and give me your phone so i can give you my phone number."
I nodded and handed him my phone.
@cassfitz_looks
We swapped back.
"Why the fuck do you have 34.7k followers?"
"Uh lmao, i run one of those fashion instagrams and my step dad helps me run it, because he loves to buy me clothes."
"You are ripped dude…okay…damn why are you shirtless in all of these?"
"I dont know," i said and jasper and i started laughing.
I dont know why but i completely forgot about that.
Cycle regulation in elite demons: risks of soulmate rejection and suppression imbalance.
That is an increcidbly long title.
Uh.
Okay.
Class a supressants:
Strongest type.
Fully numbs physical symptoms but causes temporyary memory loss, emotional flastness and magic depletion.
Dumb that sounds like a BITCHHHH.
Next one.
Class b supresants.
It says that they are the standard.
Reduces symptoms to mangeable levels, but less effective when near a soulmate.
Side effects: dizziness, nausea, irraibility and horn dulling.
Whole bunch of bullshit.
Class c supressants.
Mostly emotional regulation.
And it is often used by demons not bonded in pairs who dont wnat to lose full control but still feel the "pull."
It says that this is the weakest option.
When a big horn is active heat and near their soulmate, class b and class c supressants frequently fail due to magical rejection.
This often leads to forced fixation or loss of imulse control.
Why is that in small text?
Like why not say that earlier.
So.
Uh.
Near their soulmate? So the potions or supressants just stop working?
Uh.
So.
So what if nate goes into heat?
What will he do?
Does…does he have anyone.
Wait why am i thinking about that?
Thats.
Thats so fucking weird.
Hes.
That guy is fucking weird.
Um.
In rare, unmedicated cycles, demons may develop violent compuslusion toward rivals, anyone perceived as a threat to their soulmate bond. Possosive behvaior is amplficied, and in extreme cases, causes permanent aura scarring to the partner.
I.
Im sorry?
So oh…
Oh.
Hopefully that doesnt happen to theo, i dont think my dad would hurt him?
Would he?
But then again, its my dad.
"You good?" i looked over at jasper who was on his phone.
I respond back. "Oh yeah, im just thinking about it. Because my dads a big horn and all that." and hes in heat right now and i dont want him to hurt my step dad.
"Yeah i understand that," jasper says as he slowly nods. "Its heavy stuff. The whole soulmate thing always freaked me out."
"Thats rich coming from you and homeboy."
Jasper's face kind of drop.
Oh…
Damn.
I cleared my throat.
"Yeah…i guess we are soulmates."
"You guess?"
"Yeah… i. I do feel the pull or whatever. But i think. Yeah. i dont know. The pull, isnt very romantic. Its like obsession with extra steps."
"Yeah… it is," i said.
"Sometimes i feel like." jasper continued to type on his phone. "His love for me isnt love, its obsession."
Oh.
Thats.
"Yeah, but its like whatever."
"Is it?"
"Yeah, i love him, so its okay. And its just how he is. He remembers the little details for everything..."
Thats not a good feeling.
Who does this remind me of?
Lowkey theo and my dad.
In this weird way.
Like i found out they were literally married a couple of years ago.
They don't show any emotion or anything.
I think theo loves my dad, but my dad. I dont know.
He doesnt love.
Its not.
Well.
I guess he loves theo but i feel like its obsession sometimes.
He kind of fliches when my dad raises his voice and stuff like that.
Always telling me to be mindful of my dad.
Not to bother him after work.
Uh.
Weird.
Forced bond.
Redit never lets me down.
My brother bonded during a heat. Now he cant be near his soulmate without blacking out or lashing out. They fight constantly, but they cant let each other go. Its a curse not fate.
New fear unlocked.
Uh
Okay.
Can you resist a soulmate?
Yes.
No.
No.
If the pull is strong enough, it doesnt matter if you want them. Your body has already decided.
That doesnt sound fun.
Not at all.
I heard the bell ring and the teacher announce some homework i would hopefully remember.
I closed my laptop.
Fuck.
No fucking way.
I have class with nate.
Fuck.
I made it to whatever bullshit this class was called and sat in the same spot.
Now i am thinking about theo.
I wonder if they have a forced bond.
Oh.
Fuck.
I have actually never thought about that.
"Anyone sitting here?" yes.
Oh.
Still yes.
Nate sat his ass down before i could respond out loud and he flashed me a smile.
I have seen you too many times in one day.
Too many interactions.
"Why would you ask if you are just going to sit down?"
He shrugged. "I like to give you options."
I gave him a weird look and he started to laugh. "That sounded so weird and im sorry."
He's becoming aware.
I felt myself start to laugh as well. "Yeah, i dont know why you said that."
"I dont know either, sounded better in my head."
I smiled as i reached down to grab my notebook out of my backpack.
"Uh…" i turned to him. "How has your…day been so far?" oh wow he can actually be normal? Thats very surprising.
"Its been fine. It has been a lot lowkey, makes me feel like i never want to come back."
He smiled. "This place will do that to you."
"My old school felt like this too, besides the talking."
He raised his eyebrow. "You didnt talk at your old school?"
"More like i didnt have anyone to talk to. It was just meh."
"You went to a human school?"
"You can say that. It was something in my parent custody agreement, to keep me normal, but it hardly worked," i said and he smiled at me.
Woah…hes actually very good looking.
Thats random.
"I'd say it did, you are pretty normal."
"That sounds like an insult coming from you."
"Do you think every thing i say is an insult?"
"It feels like it," i said laughing. "Its just the way you say stuff, is so…I dont know rude."
He slowly blinked at me. "Mhm. i have never gotten that before."
"It's because the people you surround yourself with," I said.
"My friends?"
"They are used to it. And vincents a fucking weirdo, so when you are next to him you seem so polite. And your little goons that follow you around act like the sun shines out of your ass so they aren't going to tell you."
"Thats very interesting. Do you think its because im a big horn?"
"Uh yeah maybe. I mean my dads a big horn and he has this massive complex…"
"Do you think i have that?"
"Yes, thats what i was getting at. I think its mainly societies fault but also partially your parents. Like being taught that from a young age that you are objectively better than someone is not good."
"Oh."
"Yeah," i said.
He was looking for something to say.
This is how most of my conversations went at my old school too or with anyone, once they are done talking about themselves or we are done talking about them the conversation dies off.
"Earlier, i didnt mean normal as an insult. I meant that you arent like weird?"
"Still teetering on insult," i said, laughing.
He smiled at me. "You know i didnt mean it like that."
"I know. I know."
Silence.
He was reaching for something to say and so was I.
"You."
"Your."
Oh now we are talking at the same time. I couldnt help but laugh and he did as well.
"You go first," i said.
Oh god, whats with that look.
"You are very good looking." i rolled my eyes.
"Get your zesty ass away from me," i said, pushing him lightly and he started laughing.
Its crazy how fast a dynamic can change.
Why didn't you start with this Nate? Why did you start with the crazy one?
"You get one oggle a week dude, you have checked me out too many times today."
"When else did i check you out?!" he said raising his hands.
He started to think and his hands slowly dropped. "Oh. hey that didnt count."
I rolled my eyes.
"It's just a joke, I'm straight anyway." yeah right.
"Sure."
I watched as the teacher walked in finally and nate and i's conversation died down.
Oh my god. "I didnt know you actually had stuff in that bag."
He pushed me slightly as he started to write in the notebook.
"Today we will be covering soul resonance and aura comapiblity."
So a bunch of bullshit.
I heard nate snicker.
I shot him a look. "Nothing, i just like your notes," he said and i pushed him back.
The teacher explained the assignment. "Okay so you can get in groups of two. So pairs."
I watched one of nates goons quickly dash over here.
Bitch.
"Are you stil doing charity work with the half breed?" you are not real, no way you just said that.
Charity work? Thats' funny. My dad is the top donator at the school and you wanna talk about me being charity work.
Right. Right.
Nate doesn't respond. And i don't know if i should be thankful or not.
"You know," he keeps going.
I'm feeling.
I.
Angry.
I can't explain it.
"If you want to…" no i can.
I very much can.
Its this…this possessive feeling.
Like.
Like hes MINE.
What the fuck.
I blinked.
Nate looked at me as the guy continued to flap his fucking mouth and touch nate and smile.
Bitch.
I know he hears my heartbeat and i need it to stop.
"Hey, ill think about it," nate said, pulling his arm off slowly.
Think about what?
Bitch ass.
"Dont worry, you have me for today."
"I wasnt…i." i cant find the words i wanna say. "If you do work you can have me as well." FUCK.
Nate smiled.
"I tried really hard not to say anything weird."
"And it still came out so desperate, i like it." yo can we switch back to nate from earlier and not whatever this is.
Run it back.
"Im sorry," he mumbled. Post nut clairty ass.
"You should be."
"Your heartbeat always has me acting weird. Uh so do you wanna split the work up or work together?"
Okay so we are just going to move on from that statement? Okay we can move on from my thoughts too.
"Work together."
"Okay."
The rest of the class went by pretty fast and we ended up finishing early so now we were walking to basketball together in the empty hallway.
"I almost forgot we had practice today," i said.
"Me too, i hate directly after school practices."
We continued to walk in silence.
We finally make it to the locker rooms after what feels like a fucking eternity.
I put my backpack by my locker and start to change.
I feel eyes.
His eyes.
"Nate."
"What?"
"Stop looking at me."
"Im not."
I turned around and his eyes quickly met mine.
He started laughing as i rolled my eyes.
I turned back around.
"Nate."
No reponse.
I quickly turn around as my shirt is ripped out of my hand.
"I fucking knew it," i said and the two of us started to laugh.
"For a human you have good senses."
"You are very heavy footed and you breathe heavy too so as soon as i stopped hearing that i knew something was up," i said and he smiled.
I put on my shorts and changed shoes.
"Can i have it back, my nips are cold?" i said trying to cover myself as i hurdled a bench to go over him.
"Ill think about it."
"What do you mean, you will think about it? I need a yes heres your shirt back," i said.
Fuck he was fast.
Something about this demon stamina.
"No way your heart is beating from that, you are very out of shape."
"Uh rude," i said as he continued to do laps.
I stopped.
I would just catch him off guard.
"You tired?" he asked laughing as he walked over to me. "It's no fun if you arent chasing."
I have you right where i want you. I quickly reached out.
"Fuck."
"I knew you were going to try that."
"Just give me my shirt back and stop being weird," i said as i continued to chase him around.
"I told you to come and get it."
Okay holy shit i am starting to get tired.
I hurdled bench after bench as he didn't loose energy at all.
Fuck. I felt my right foot clip the bench.
There goes all my teeth.
I put my hands out and braced myself for the impact.
I opened my eyes.
"You're okay, i got you."
I watched as nate walked over to me.
Magic.
"Here's your shirt," he said.
"I can't move anything."
"I used the wrong magic thing, i just didnt want you to bust your head so i wasnt thinking. Give it a couple of minutes."
He helped me put on my shirt and started to rub my arms like you do a cold child.
"This helps i swear."
"Why don't I believe you?"
"Up to you."
He continued to feel my numb body up.
"Sorry if I knew that you were going to clip your foot I wouldnt have done all that," he said.
So freaking nice.
So why do you act so fucking crazy?
I felt his hands more and more as the time passed.
"Lowkey why i don't use magic. I am not very good at it… and i know you are going to be like oh but you used it blah blah, everytime i meet you i seem to use magic. I dont even know," his hands started to slow down and felt more and more…seducing.
Weird.
"Like I know you don't understand because you are human, but there are so many magic tricks or whatever they are called, that i can't remember what hand motion is which or whatever goes with which. So thats why you're limbs dont have any feeling instead of just freezing and being unfrozen."
"Thats very interesting."
"Yeah…"
A little part of me didnt want to tell him that i can feel my arms again.
A little part of me wanted him to keep going.
I blinked.
I.
Supressing my feelings for so long has me going crazy over A MAN touching my arms.
Why am i thinking so much?
So much about him, so much about everything? Why do I give a fuck?
"You have these oddly musclar skinny arms."
He paused. "No i dont mean that as an insult, I just mean it fits your frame nicely."
He's checking me out AGAIN.
I cant even say anything.
"Like you are nicely proportional. Nice hips." I feel myself flinching at his touch.
"Im sorry…" his voice was drowned out by two arguing voices that feel all so familiar now.
He stood up quickly and i stood up just as fast, like we got caught, caught doing something we weren't supposed to be doing, caught by people who won't even give us the time of day.
"Baby come on."
Nate gives me this hear we fucking go look and i cant help but laugh.
Jasper turns around towards vincent teelnovela style somehow missing the two of us and starts to go off on him. "Im genuinely not doing this with you. You are always like this. All im asking you is to have a sleepover with nate and you are literally going to be there and you are still having a problem with it."
Vincent steps forward and grabs jasper, hard.
I look at the mediator who looks very invested. "Let go of me."
"You know why i have a problem with it."
"We are all friends…let go of me." jasper was trying to pry off vincents hand.
"Vincent…im not doing this with you today. You need to work on whatever is going on. Just because now more than just nate knows…"
"Dont talk…"
"You cant act like this, truly you cant." hold on my show is on oh my god.
"I dont wanna do this to you baby…because i love you, but i swear to everything you do this shit again and we are done."
"Done? That's funny." ick.
"Done! Im not going to be treated like this when you get in your weird mood…" oh.
Now i feel like we should step in, because jasper crying.
Vincents grasp loosen. "Treated like shit and your parents dont even know we are dating. Imagine how that fucking makes me feel?"
His crying is starting to get worse. "Im truly not going to do this anymore. I cant. All this soulmates bullshit, THIS IS NOT how you fucking treat someone who you claim is your soulmate. Its not and im genuinely done."
Vincent doesnt say anything.
"Im sorry baby, dont cry, you know i dont like it when you cry," vincent pulls him in for a hug.
"Let go of me. Im gonna go get nate to handle you."
"Get me to do what?" dang out here ruining my show.
The two of them quickly jumped back like they were just fighting in public.
I watched as vincent quickly put jasper behind him.
"Nothing, when the fuck did you get here?" vincent points at me as well. "And you?"
"We have been here this whole time and you should truly be embarrassed and never show your face here again. And when were yall gonna ask ME if you wanted to have a sleepover?"
"Right now."
"Die," nate says to vincent.
I watched as jaspers tried to recollect himself, still using his man as a shield.
My heart is aching right now oh my god.
Jasper finally pulled away and went to go change.
"Baby…"
"Go!" jasper said putting his finger in Vincent's face.
Very deserved, creepy ass.
Vincent turned to us. "Two things." he looks at me. "Wait three things. Can we have a sleepover at your house?"
He turns his eyes to me and I feel myself get the chills. "Do you want to come with us?" now his attention was back on the both of us. "And what the fuck were you two doing ALONE in here?"
"To the first question yeah sure."
Yeah I just met yall. "Uh I think I will pass, thank you for the offer." my dad is very anti sleepover anyway. VERY.
"What were you two doing fighting in public?"
Vincent eyed me up and down. "Where are your pants?"
I dont have pants on?
HOLY FUCK WHERE ARE MY PANTS.
I grabbed my shorts, they were literally a couple feet away from me, why didnt i put them on?
I turned my attention to nate and smacked him lightly.
"What?" he says laughing.
If that bitch didnt distract me that wouldnt have.
I feel mself stumble forward.
What the fuck.
Nate looks at me. "Whats wrong with you?"
"Nothing… i dont…i just lost my footing." what the fuck?
Wait.
Nate was fully checking me out while i was siting there in my BOXERS.
Disgusting.
Today was just a normal pratice day.
We were in the gym and coach was counting us off before we start to run laps and of course i got partnered with nate.
Vincents got partnered with someone and i have never seen before and jasper the same.
We started to run the laps and i was just trying to get away from my partner.
We finished laps and todays pratice was just drills, shooting and light scrimmaging.
"When using magic, make sure we are being careful. Especially around our teammates who dont have magic."
Nate smiled at me.
Fuck you, you are the reason he put that rule in place.
We passed the ball back and forth running down the court.
"Nate!" this bitch just chunked this over my head on PURPOSE.
I ran over to get the ball.
Oh.
I look up at the guy who is holding it.
He is jaspers partner right now.
"Here you are."
I nodded. "Thank you." i ran back over to nate and threw at him.
His eye twitched slightly and then we kept going.
Weird.
How are 2 vs 2 scrimmages even helpful?
We were up against vincent and his partner, who wasnt a big horn but still a BIG bitch.
The whistle blew and me and natey dog started to do our shit.
He was terrible at shooting but made up for it in height, so he could dunk.
I was getting most of our points.
We were half way through our match and currently on a break, we were up like 15 points and nate and his bestie were talking.
"For a human you arent even that good." now i know you arent talking.
Vincent's partner came over to talk to me.
"Rich coming from someone who is losing," i said with a smile.
The guy was little hard on the eyes, but still okay looking.
His height made up for it.
The taller they are, the less you have to look at their face.
But.
Not nate.
Fuck.
Here we go again.
"Its because you have that tank on your team."
"I have scored most of our points because my tank cant shoot."
The guy snarled at me.
Bitch.
The fuck is your fucking problem, bitch.
"Nasty ass attitude."
"Now i know you arent talking, bitch."
"Who you calling a bitch?" the guy asked.
"You, bitch," i said with a smile.
He rolled his eyes at me again and reached out for my face.
"You are lucky youre so cute, or else i would punched you in that fucking face." he stood up. "I know he likes these lips, despite them being so nasty." i pushed his hand off my face.
He smiled and laughed. "What cant i appreciate your beauty? Is that why you have those tired eyes? Too busy putting your best feature to work."
IM SORRY WHAT?
I heard the whistle blow and the guy smiled and walked back.
MY EYES WERE WIDE.
Who does this BITCH even think he is.
Making OPEN comments about me.
And wait does he think im sucking Nate's shit while standing up? AH FUCK NAH.
"Whys your heart beating?"
"Im just tired."
"It sounds like fear, what'd he say to you?" i turn to nate, i hear the venom in his voice.
"He said i was cute," i said.
"Liar."
"Liar to what that im cute or that he said that?"
"Both." i shoved him and he started laugh.
Rich coming from a guy who has been checking me out all day.
Way too much male attention.
Pushing that shit all the way down.
Fuck no.
All the way down.
"What else?"
"He said i have a nasty mouth."
"And you do."
I rolled my eyes. "Why am i even telling you this?"
We got ready for the rest of the scrimmage.
Coach started to count us off.
"Nate."
"What?"
I am a fold under zero pressure kind of guy.
"He said i look so tired because i am too busy putting my best feaurre to work…on you."
I quickly got the ball as nates mind started to scatter out on the court.
I smiled.
Thats how that guy felt when he made that comment at me.
Just joking, but im a funny guy.
I shot it and scored.
"NATHANIEL KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!"
I laughed as we ran backwards.
The guy started to drip the ball and i watched as nate used magic to get the ball to me.
I started to dripple and I…
I feel something slam into my side and i fall hard on the floor.
I watched as the guy i still dont the name of freeze from the neck down.
"Cassidy, you okay?" nate said bringing my back to my feet.
"Yeah, yeah just a little disoriented," i said and i shot.
Nate unfroze him.
I watched as he quickly started to charge me.
Broddie i dont even have the ball.
I watched nate dunk the ball and then yank the guy backwards.
Magic is so weird and my biggest culture shook being at this school.
"Youre pathetic."
The coach blew the whistle and we had officially won.
We shook their hands as nate had his hand on my lower back.
I blew the guy a kiss and smiled at him.
TOXICCCCC.
Since he likes my lips so much.
Bitch ass.
We continued to practice and work on stuff until it was just us two.
Us to alone in the gym.
I was laying down watching him dunk over and over again.
Crazy demon strength.
After a couple more minutes he came over to lie next to me.
"You're not as annoying when youre this nate."
"And youre hotter when you are out of breath and wet."
I turned my head and he smiled.
Not a hint of regret.
"Nasty ass."
His eye twitched again and the two of us looked up at the ceiling.
Just the two of us.
We had help coach clean everything up and now its just one ball left that nate had been practicing with.
We.
We weren't touching, but we were close.
Its like i could almost hear his heartbeat too.
Our pinkies were almosting touching.
The glow.
The glow of the gym lights once unbearable felt like this weird.
This weird soft vibe.
I turn my head to nate.
"Oh hello." he was already staring at me.
"Hi," he says with a smile.
Nate rolls onto his side.
Pushing up onto his elbow, still watching me intently.
"How long have you been staring?"
He smiled. "Long enough to…" he was going to say something weird. "To finally look at those lips that guy was raving about."
I rolled my eyes.
"They are one of your best features, behind your nose."
"My nose?"
"Yeah, its nice, its big, it stretches, its, i dont know, kind of cute."
"Man all you demons are so weird."
"You are allegric to compliments."
Deny deny deny.
"You just make weird comments, they arent really compliments."
"What if i said you were cute, what would you say?"
"I would tell you stop being weird."
"LIKE I SAID, allergic to compliments." oh.
Push it down.
All of the way down.
I rolled my eyes.
He got closer to me.
He blinked slowly at me.
"You are so interesting. I have like met humans before but never like this."
"Like what?"
He moved closer.
"Like you. You make it…make it hard to stay away from you."
I swallow and feel myself not being able to move.
"I dont. Like.. you are a man and i am as well, and i know its not just wanting to be your friends, it makes it so hard to stay away from you."
He rolled back over on his back. "Ignore me im just talking."
We both jumped at the sound of a whistle. "Thank you for helping me clean, but gyms closing so yall need to get in those showers."
We both got up and walked to the showers.
After a very normal shower adventure, we started to walk towards where theo would pick me up.
"Oh fuck."
I felt myself freeze.
"What?"
"Theo is with my dad."
"And?"
"You are a big horn. Fuck i am so dead."
Nate smiled. "Fine then, i will let you go."
"Okay bye! Have fun at your sleepover," i said as i started to walk away.
"Cassidy."
I turned back to nate. "Yeah?"
"We should run drills alone together next time."
"Not even in your dreams weirdo!" i said laughing and he smiled. "I dont dream. I get what I want."
I felt myself gulp and turn around.
My legs started to walk faster.
Now my heart was fucking racing.
I hate it.
I fucking hate it.
I sighed as my dad rolled down the window.
Fuck i should have gotten in on the other side.
"I thought I told you stay away from big horns," he spat at me.
I opened the door and threw my bag in and then i sat down shutting door.
Ruining my mood instantly is my dads superpower.
He turns around to look at me.
I feel…fear.
"Dad…you are scaring me."
"GOOD! And they dont scare you? I told you to stay away from big horns didnt I? They do not want to be your fucking friends, do you understand? Stay away from them!" my dad yelled and he finally broke eye contact but continued to look for things to complain about.
He snarled at me.
Theo started to pull out of the parking lot.
No music at all and he drove slow.
He was scared too.
My dad reached out for my arm and yanked.
"Honey, that is your son," theo said.
"Who put these on you?"
"What?" i asked.
He pointed at the insides of my arms.
Oh. Nate and his second personality i met in the bathroom.
"Basketball, i just fell."
He wasnt buying it but theo grabbed his arm. "That is your son. Thats is your son. Calm the fuck down!" theo yelled and my dad let me go and slumped down in his seat.
Way too old to be acting like that.
Theo flashed me a fading smile threw the mirror. "How was your day baby?"
"It was fine, a lot happened."
"You wanna elaborate?" not really because my dad is in the car but sure to keep the peace i will.
"Classes were a litlle boring, but i learned some new stuff." skipping over nate and the bathroom. "My friends and i went out to go eat, it was pretty good. Yeah and then basketball was chill, but this guy was all weird."
My dad interjected. "Was it that big horn you were talking to?"
"Suprisingly not. So me and the big horn, his name is nate by the way. Were doing a 2 v 2, with his best friend and another guy. We were on half time and he was talking about how i was terrible, but i was getting all of the points and we were beating them by like 15."
Tell me why I am out of breath just thinking about it.
"Right." theo said, listening intently.
"And then he said its because of nate that were are winning, but nate cant even shoot and he snarled at me. Like dad just did."
"I did not," and you will never guess what he did, SNARLED AT ME AGAIN.
"And then he said i have a nasty attitude."
"And hes not wrong," my dad said.
I let out a little smile, glad he was listening because he usually never does.
"I called him a bitch rightfully so and then he said im lucky im cute or else he would have punched me in the face already."
"He did not?" theo said with this distressed look on his face.
"He fucking did. And then he reaches out to STROKE MY FACE. Gays do you hear that, STROKE MY FUCKING FACE. and then and i quote." i am getting so angry thinking about this even though it literally happened like an hour ago.
"I know he likes these lips, despite them being so nasty."
"What the fuck does that mean?" my dad said and i watched as he got angry.
"My question exactly. But get this, another and i quote. What? Cant i appreciate your beauty? Is that why you have those tired eyes? Too busy putting your best feature to work."
Theo's mouth dropped open as we got onto the freeway.
"What does that mean?"
Bruh, my dad is so slow.
"It means, he thinks i look tired because i am too busy giving nate a blowjob."
My dad blinked.
Old ass.
Theo patted his leg. "Honey." he gave him a weird look and then my dad finally got it.
His mouth was now open.
"So he was flirting with you? And insitating that YOU suck dick?" my dad said gagged.
Bro you do too.
I mean not too, because i dont.
No of course not.
I dont.
Why?
Why would I?
Yeah.
No.
I don't.
"Yes and yes. And then nate stared to dismiss it, saying im lying." i said laughing.
"Do you suck his dick?"
"No bitch!"
"Who are you calling a bitch?"
"No dad, i dont…suck HIS dick." i stratched the back of my head.
Note HIS.
My dad gave me weird look.
"Anyway that was my day," i said, leaving out jasper and vincents weird relationship and nate cornering me in the bathroom and whatever moment we were having in the gym.
"Wow, uh okay. That was a lot."
"I know."
"You must be tired, baby," theo said patting my leg as he held onto the steering wheel.
"Im dead."
"When we get home why dont take a nap and your dad and i will cook dinner?"
"So yall can fuck?"
"Yes," my dad spat.
"No we are going to cook FIRST," theo said and my dad sighed. "Whatever."
I laughed.
I press my head up against the window.
I feel my heart start to race.
I cant stop replaying nate in my head.
God hes a weirdo.
He told me to ignore him because he was just talking.
But i can't.
I fucking cant.
He said i make it hard to stay away.
Oh my god.
My lord.
My dad shot me a look.
He can hear my heart beating.
I pretend to shut my eyes.
I dont.
When im with nate i dont even recgonize myself.
All these feelings, i have pushed down for years are coming back.
They are coming back up for this guy.
They always come back up for guys because liking girls is okay.
But this time, i cant push them down.
Which is weird.
I can always push them down and ignore them.
But this time i cant.
I cant get him out of my head.
I cant get him out of my fucking head.