Adjusting the round glasses on his right eye, Ludwig looked at the girl in the winter hat who now seemed to be with a boy just stepping out of the train car.
Ludwig actually had no bad intentions toward the girl. At first he only felt something familiar about her face. Then he suddenly remembered where he had seen it before, It was from a photo his superior used to show off often back when he was serving on the frontlines the previous year.
But before he could ask her about it, the girl suddenly looked like she was in pain, to the point of almost throwing up. Ludwig quickly rushed to find some kind of container to help her if she needed to vomit.
Ludwig felt guilty, realizing he had forgotten about his own damaged eye. Of course a child would naturally react the same way she did. Even though a year had passed since he lost it, he himself sometimes still forgot it was gone.
Yet just as he was about to apologize to her, the train Ludwig had been waiting for finally arrived. When he turned his head back toward the girl, she was already leaving her seat and heading to the very same train he had been waiting for. Because of that, Ludwig never got the chance to apologize.
"What is it, dear?" asked a blonde woman in a black dress covered with flower patterns that seemed to bloom from the beauty she carried herself.
"Ah, it's nothing," Ludwig replied while scratching his head.
Because he had been too focused on the girl who reminded him of his superior's daughter, Ludwig had completely lost sight of why he was actually at the station. He was supposed to be picking up his wife, who had come from their hometown to finally join him and live together in the capital.
"What do you mean nothing," his wife said with a slightly annoyed tone. "You've been staring at that girl for a while. Is there something wrong with her?" she asked while glancing toward the girl, who was now busy chatting with a boy.
"Come on, I told you it's nothing."
Not convinced by her husband's words, the wife looked at Ludwig seriously. "Hmm, could it be…" She paused, then said, "you feel like it's the time?"
"Time for what?" Ludwig asked, wanting clarity on what she meant.
"Hehe, you know," she looked a little shy about continuing, but in the end she decided to say it out loud, "about finally having a child."
Hearing that, Ludwig immediately rubbed his forehead. He hadn't expected his wife to bring up something like that in a public place like the station. The woman, his wife, was named Maria, and he had been married to her for a little over three years, which meant even before this war had broken out.
Even so, they still hadn't been blessed with a child after three years of marriage, and both of their parents had already been urging them to have a descendant soon.
"Didn't I already say this isn't the time?" Ludwig stressed with a heavy voice.
"But how long until it is?" Maria asked, her voice trembling slightly.
Seeing his wife become gloomy like that, Ludwig could not help but feel guilty. However, the reason why Ludwig delayed having children was because the country's situation was very uncertain from the beginning and now even got involved in wars with other countries, not only one, but even three countries at once.
Ludwig reached out and gently squeezed her hand, forcing a faint smile to soften his stern words. "Don't worry, Maria. When the time is right, we'll have the family you want. For now... let's just be glad we can finally be together." His reassurance seemed to ease her frown, if only a little.
Although his wife's frown had not completely disappeared, Ludwig was already somewhat happy and smiling. After all, he had invited her to live together in the capital to make her happy, not sad.
Around them, the station was as restless as ever-porters shouting orders, steam hissing from the departing trains, families reuniting with tears and laughter. Ludwig adjusted his coat, and together they stepped away from the platform, blending into the stream of travellers making their way towards the exit.
Even the station's entrance, which was fairly standard in size, could not cope with the flood of people trying to exit through the same path. Everyone was pressed tightly against one another. Of course it made sense to Ludwig, since today was the day of the annual national celebration and many had come to attend.
Not wanting the crowd to separate him from his wife, Ludwig gripped her left hand tightly.
After a tiring struggle, they finally managed to break free from the sea of people. They continued their way toward Ludwig's apartment, located in the district reserved for military personnel.
"Phew, that was really intense," said Maria with a relieved sigh, recalling their effort to get out of the station.
"It really was," Ludwig replied.
Walking side by side on the capital's sidewalk, they matched each other's pace to stay in step.
On the one hand, Ludwig kept observing his wife who walked so gracefully, her blonde hair swaying as if dancing. He felt truly fortunate that he could still witness her beauty.
Sometimes he even wondered if what he was seeing was nothing but a dream.
He genuinely felt like the luckiest man alive and wanted to pray and give thanks to God, who had been so merciful to him.
This overwhelming sense of gratitude began after he survived the rearguard battle deep inside Noirval territory. At that time his company, led by Paul, had no hope of survival. Ludwig himself had already resigned to dying alongside his comrades who shared the same thought.
But Ludwig never expected to live through the tragedy. He survived only because his body had been buried beneath the corpses of his fellow soldiers, shielding him from the grenade blast thrown by the Noirval troops during their dead check.
Many miracles had helped him survive that tragedy. The first was that the Noirval forces did not conduct a thorough sweep of the battlefield. They chose instead to move quickly in pursuit of the retreating Felsburg troops, unwilling to lose the initiative for a counterattack. Because of that, Ludwig managed to pretend to be dead until the Noirval soldiers had completely passed.
The second miracle came when his eye was shattered by the grenade blast. The pain gnawed at the wound and seemed to spread deep into his brain, until he stumbled upon the lifeless body of his unit's medic. There he found painkillers and used them.
The third miracle came after he walked for several days toward the Felsburg border. He encountered another unit that had also been separated from the main force during the retreat. They had stayed low and taken advantage of the hurried movements of the Noirval troops. Ludwig joined them, and thanks to the ingenuity of their leader, they managed to break through the enemy's still-unfinished defensive line from behind.
When Ludwig finally returned to Felsburg, he was awarded a commendation. However, the authorities insisted on keeping it secret in order to cover up the recent defeat. Ludwig did not care about the award itself, but he felt bitter toward the policy that demanded the sacrifices of his fallen comrades be hidden away.
Ludwig's thoughts still lingered on that battlefield, the screams, the smoke, the weight of countless corpses pressing down on him. For a moment the lively noise of the city faded, drowned beneath the echoes of war. Then a cheerful voice pulled him back.
"Wow, isn't this place so crowded and cheerful!?" Maria exclaimed, her eyes sparkling as she took in the streets alive with banners and laughter.
Ludwig just looked at his wife's joyful face while glancing around at the streets filled with people carrying various national symbols. With the festive atmosphere, even in the middle of an ongoing war, people seemed to forget the conflict.
Maria herself had only ever lived in a small town in the interior of Felsburg, so everything she was seeing now was a first-time experience. Besides, she had never left the rural area before.
Along the street, tents of smiling merchants lined the way as they served their customers. A little child held candy while being guided by his father, couples of students strolled hand in hand with beaming faces, and a solitary man sat enjoying toast on a bench.
Indeed, what Ludwig and his wife were witnessing was a stark contrast to the front lines. Still, Ludwig did not dwell on it. Instead, they needed to enjoy as much of the delicious street food as possible, especially with the country preparing for total war economy next month, which Ludwig thought was rather late.
For a moment, Ludwig thought he could lose himself in the warmth of her smile. But then Maria's gaze sharpened, her tone shifting as she asked the one question he had hoped would never come.
"But what kind of duty were you given here, dear?" Maria suddenly asked, catching Ludwig off guard.
In truth, Ludwig did not even know how to answer. He knew that sooner or later his wife would ask, and his heart was pounding. He could only keep his eyes on the sidewalk and let his legs move automatically while feeling her gaze upon him.
"You know, just administrative work or military bureaucracy, something like that, haha..."
"I see," Maria said, exhaling with relief. "Good then. If my dear has done enough, my dear truly deserves it."
Her words came out like pearls, but instead of comforting him, they only added to Ludwig's burden. He could not reveal the reality he was facing. He could not tell her that the tasks he performed now constantly made his soul revolt, no matter how hard he tried to restrain it. His current duties were no less terrifying than the situations at the battlefield, something Ludwig was certain his wife would feel disgusted by if she knew the truth.
During the walk, Ludwig remained silent, constantly wondering how long he could continue hiding this secret. He was genuinely afraid of the consequences if the truth ever came out.