That night, Chitoge's room was filled with the warm glow of the study lamp. The window curtains were tightly closed, leaving only a small gap where the shimmer of streetlights faintly seeped through. Chitoge lay on her side on the bed, her phone left lying beside the pillow, its screen still lit up displaying the calendar.
A few minutes passed, but her eyes still couldn't close. The echo of Amaterasu's words from that morning kept resounding in her mind:
"You call him your boyfriend because of circumstances, and your heart is still unclear. However… a false feeling that is sincerely protected can sometimes turn real. Don't let go of that hand."
Chitoge bit her lip, her face blushing even though no one was there to see. She rolled over, staring at the plain ceiling of her room, but it only made her head feel even more crowded.
"A boyfriend because of circumstances, huh…" she muttered softly, her voice nearly muffled within the blanket. She covered her face with a pillow, then kicked her bed restlessly. "Aghhh, why did that Goddess have to say that!? That's way too embarrassing!"
But after her little outburst faded, Chitoge fell silent again. Her thoughts drifted to Raku's figure. She remembered clearly how Raku used to be noisy, a little selfish, and often called her a gorilla. Their quarrels seemed like a daily routine, and behind all the chaos, she could feel something real… whether it was togetherness or just a strange bond she couldn't let go of.
"But now…" she whispered.
The Raku of now was different. Ever since losing his memories, he had become calmer, innocent, even with a childlike side that made it impossible for Chitoge to vent her scolding like before. Raku's empty gaze, his simple smile… only made it harder for Chitoge to turn away.
Slowly, she sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes falling on an object on the small table beside the bed. A little princess doll, a gift from Raku some time ago. Chitoge picked it up with both hands, staring at it for a long time.
The doll was simple, not too expensive, but every time she looked at it, a warm feeling rose in her chest. She smiled faintly, then that smile slowly faded, replaced by a slight furrow in her brow.
"…Why is it, I feel guilty?"
She gently stroked the doll's hair. "This engagement is one-sided… I know that. I know this is just a family formality. But why do I feel… like I'm taking something important away from him?"
Her eyes trembled, holding back tears that didn't fall. Chitoge hugged the doll tightly to her chest, her body slightly trembling.
"If I'm really just a girlfriend because of circumstances… am I allowed to hope for more? Am I allowed… to hope that he sees me as more than just a fake girlfriend?"
Silence once again filled the room. The wall clock ticked softly, marking the time that kept moving. Chitoge still sat with the doll in her embrace, bowing her head with a face full of doubt.
And unconsciously, Amaterasu's words returned to her mind, piercing her heart even deeper:
"Don't let go of that hand."
Chitoge squeezed her eyes shut tightly, then lay back down, hugging the doll like the most precious treasure. On her face, a mix of confusion, guilt, and a flicker of hope she couldn't deny.
.....
That night, Onodera's room looked calm. The dim study lamp cast a soft glow on the walls, illuminating a notebook that hadn't been closed. Onodera sat at her desk with her chin resting on both hands, her empty eyes staring at the calendar pinned on the wall. A small red circle had been marked on New Year's Day, and a few pages ahead, a faint little heart mark lay on February 14th.
She sighed, then leaned back in her chair. The memory of that morning at the shrine was still vivid in her mind—Raku's faint smile, his empty gaze full of questions, and then… Amaterasu's words that suddenly struck straight into her heart.
"You love him. But he has lost his memories of you. Don't let that pain make you retreat. He needs someone who will stay, even when he doesn't know who he is."
Just remembering those words made her chest tighten. Onodera closed her eyes for a moment, pressing her chest with her hand, trying to calm herself.
"…I know," she whispered softly, "I know I love him."
Since long ago, since years past, she had carried that feeling for Raku. A feeling both sweet and painful, because she had never truly had the courage to say it. And now, with Raku losing his memories… everything should have been easier. This should have been the chance to start over, without the burden of the past.
But no. Precisely because of that amnesia, the wound felt even deeper. Raku no longer recognized her in the way he once did, no longer carried the memories of laughter, conversations, and heartbeats they once shared.
Onodera rose from her chair, walking slowly to the window. She opened the curtains slightly, letting the moonlight in, illuminating her gentle face. Outside, the city was already quiet, only occasionally broken by the faint sound of a vehicle. She looked at the night sky, the stars shining far away, then whispered:
"Ichijou-kun… even if you don't remember, I'm still here."
Her hand slowly clenched the curtain tightly, her eyes starting to glisten. "I don't want to give up. I don't want to keep holding these feelings alone anymore. I want… someday, somehow, to be able to tell you everything. I want you to know… that I love you."
The words came out trembling, like a prayer released into the night air.
She walked back to the desk, her eyes falling on the small heart mark on the calendar on February 14th. Her face flushed, but this time not only from shyness—there was a new determination beginning to grow.
"…Valentine's," she muttered, her voice shaking but full of hope. "I'll gather my courage. I'll give you chocolate, and I'll… I'll tell you everything."
Even though deep inside she knew, Raku now seemed closer to Chitoge, even though there was something faint that only she could feel… Onodera didn't want to give up. She didn't want to betray her own feelings, not after holding them for so long.
"Even if you might choose Chitoge-chan… I still want to be honest with myself," she said with a bitter smile, though her tears slowly fell down her cheeks.
She quickly wiped those tears away with the back of her hand, then sat back down while looking at the little bunny doll lying on the bookshelf—Raku's gift from before. She reached for it, hugging it tightly, and closed her eyes.
"Ichijou-kun… I won't run away anymore. I'll stay by your side, even if you don't know who I am."
In the silence of that room, Onodera's resolve slowly hardened. She knew the path ahead would be difficult, maybe full of tears. But that night, for the first time, she dared to face her own feelings without hesitation.
And outside the window, the round moon seemed to smile gently, as if listening to the prayer of a girl fighting not to let her love fade away.