Chapter 191
Jay's voice rang through the house. "Knock, knock, we're here!"
Mitchell turned slightly toward me, lowering his voice to explain, "My dad, uh, my dad isn't completely comfortable with this. He still does this thing... where he announces himself before walking into any room we're in."
I nodded to him. That reminded me of another one: Knock knock, Mitchell… Knock knock, Mitchell… Knock knock, Mitchell. Classic. I still haven't seen it...
Mitchell raised his voice, "Don't worry, Dad! Nothing gay going on here!" He opened the door and greeted Jay with a quick nod.
"May I take your multicolored coat and your bejeweled cap?" he added, eyeing the strange outfit Jay was wearing.
Then I stepped forward to say hi to his dad.
Jay said with his usual grumpy smile, "Jake, you're here too?"
"Yeah," I said with a grin, giving him a quick wave.
Phil appeared just behind me. "Hey, Jay."
From the foyer, Claire called out (not so) brightly, "Gloria, hi!"
Phil greeted Gloria with his signature goofly smile, "Hi, Gloria, how are you? What a beautiful dress!"
"Thank you, Phil!" Gloria answered, her accent dancing through every syllable.
Phil blinked. "Oh. Okay."
Claire lightly smacked Phil's hand, then took it in hers and whispered, "Phil! She said Phil, not feel!"
---
Jay cleared his throat. "So, why did you call everyone here?"
Mitchell clasped his hands together nervously. "We, uh, kinda have some big news."
Jay squinted. "Oh God, if Cam comes out here with boobs, I'm leaving."
Cam with boobs? I thought. He'd make a great pair with Berta.
"Dad!" Claire snapped.
"I hope he didn't embarrass you, Mom," Haley muttered.
"Don't mind her," Claire said, sighing. "Haley had her first boy over today… and Phil shot him."
"Oh, that explains the casual 'hi,'" I joked to Haley. "Thought I'd lost my charm."
We both laughed, while Alex snorted in the background.
The irony. Now I'm single, she is dating… maybe we are not mean to be
Mitchell cleared his throat again. "Anyway… so about a year ago, Cam and I started feeling this longing for something more… like, maybe a baby."
Jay didn't even wait a second. "Woooh, that's a bad idea."
Mitchell blinked. "What do you mean, bad idea?"
Jay shrugged. "Well, kids need a mother! I mean, if you two guys are bored, get a dog!"
"Not a bad idea," I murmured. "I love Loki and White."
"We're not bored, Dad!" Mitchell snapped.
Gloria stepped in with her usual passion. "I support you, Mitchell. And though you're not my son—"
Claire interrupted, trying to soften the moment. "I—I think what Dad is trying to say is that, Mitchell, you're a little uptight. Kids bring chaos, and you don't handle chaos well."
Mitchell narrowed his eyes. "Oh, that's not what Dad is saying. That's what you're saying. And it's insulting in a whole different way."
"Okay, people, let's all chillax!" Phil said, raising his hands.
"Hey! Where's Uncle Cameron?" Alex suddenly asked.
Mitchell gestured with mild exasperation. "Finally, thank you. Someone who's not insulting me notices he's not here."
Jay scoffed. "Oh! So that's the big announcement. You two broke up. Well, a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway! And you know what? Let me tell you — you'll be better off. He was a bit of a drama queen."
More than a bit...
"No, no, no! Stop, stop!" Mitchell barked. "You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend who, by the way, is not that dramatic!"
I raised a hand casually. "Mitch, for all the insults flying around… I think 'drama queen' is not something you can really argue against..."
Before Mitchell could retort, music from The Lion King suddenly started playing from somewhere in the house, perfectly underscoring my point.
A moment later, Cam entered dramatically, holding Lilly high above his head just like Rafiki with Simba.
Huh, King Kong version?
Everyone turned. No one said anything.
Cameron beamed. "Come, say hello, Lily." He gently rocked her in his arms as Mitchell rushed to turn off the music.
"Oh, she's so cute!" Haley said, stepping closer.
"Let me see her. Hi, Lily," Phil added with a warm smile.
Jay cleared his throat, his voice softer than usual. "Excuse me... Okay, I—I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea. But... what do I know? I mean, it's not like I wrote the book on fatherhood. I've been trying all my life to get it right, and I'm still screwing up."
He continued, "Anyway, I'm happy for you! And you should know that... I'm not here to spit in your face, I'm here to blow at your back. It's supposed to sound better in Spanish..."
Mitchell looked at him for a beat, then smiled. "Do you wanna meet Grandpa?" he said, taking Lilly from Cam and walking her over to Jay.
Jay's eyes lit up. "You're kidding? She's one of us now. Let me see that little pot sticker! Hey, you're a cutie, aren't you!"
"Voy a ser la brisa en tu espalda, no quien te escupa en la frente," I murmured in Spanish. "Poetic. Manny, is that really an old proverb? I've never heard it before..." I've studied quite a bit of Spanish...
"Mom said it is..." Manny replied.
---
After all the excitement around Lily, everyone started to split off into smaller groups. Claire suddenly pulled me to the side and lowered her voice.
"Hey Jake, are you seeing someone?"
I smirked. "Sorry, Claire, it's you, it's not me. You're too old for me..."
Her eyes narrowed, lips twitching. "Not for me."
"Ohhh," I exclaimed, playing along. "I thought Alex was cute anyway, thanks for the blessing," I said, walking toward the sofa where Alex is
"Stop right there, you little fox," she said, placing a hand firmly on my shoulder.
Mitchell couldn't hold back his laughter. "He's messing with you, Claire. He likes older,"
"Yeah, Alex is too young. I wouldn't go for her..." I added, Claire gave me a light smile.
"...for now," I murmured under my breath.
Claire's light smile shifted instantly into a warning one.
"And I don't go after girls who are taken. So, forget it." I finished
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