Shen Riqiu sat in the warm cafe, the sketchbook in her hand had been turned to a new page.Her mood, however, was suddenly heavy.She put the brush down, her eyes fell on a cup of warm milk chai on the desktop, but her mind was filled with thoughts.
Those days in college were still as clear as yesterday.She remembered that classmate - Su Chen.
Su Chen was one of her closest friends in college, and also the painter she used to admire the most.At that time, Su Chen's painting style was unique, his emotions were deep, and his brushstrokes had an unspeakable power.
They often stayed up all night painting together, discussing art with each other and talking about their dreams for the future.
She remembers that Su Chen once told her, "Sunflower, true art is not what others want to see, but what you want to express."
At that time, she didn't fully understand the meaning of these words, but she trusted Su Chen and felt that his artistic talent was unlimited.
However, reality is always merciless.Although Su Chen's works were profound and moving, they were never widely recognized.His paintings were repeatedly met with cold reception at exhibitions, and some people even said that his paintings were too obscure and difficult to understand.
Su Chen was deeply shocked and became more and more depressed.
Shen Riqui once tried to console him, telling him, "What you paint is not for others to see, but for yourself.The value of art is not the recognition of the outside world, but the expression of your heart."
But he didn't listen.
A few months later, Su Chen's name appeared in the news - he committed suicide.
She remembers standing on the balcony that day, the wind blowing the curtains around and blurring her eyes.
It was hard for her to believe that the man who was once full of dreams and vitality was gone just like that.
After his death, his work was recognized by more and more people, and he became a recognized talented painter.Some said that it was his death that gave his paintings their true meaning.
This left Shen Rihui incredibly confused.She began to question everything about herself - was she going to get lost in the outside world's evaluations just like Su Chen in order to pursue the so-called art?She began to feel depressed and fell into uncontrollable loneliness and anxiety.
So she decides to consult a psychiatrist in an attempt to find an outlet and reexamine her life.
The first meeting between Shen Riquelme and the psychiatrist was on a warm spring morning.She sat in the other's office, surrounded by quiet and cozy, the sunlight from the window poured in, bringing a touch of warmth to the room.The psychiatrist's name was LinÒ, a woman of about thirty years old, gentle and elegant, giving a very peaceful feeling.
LinÒ poured her a glass of water and then spoke gently, ÒMiss Shen, welcome here.I know you're probably going through some unspeakable confusion, so we can start from the beginning."
Shen Riqiu paused, lowered her head, and began to tell her own story-from Su Chen's suicide to her confusion about her artistic pursuits, to the sense of alienation she gradually felt in this world.Her voice trembled a little, the long suppressed emotions in her heart finally found an outlet in this quiet space.
After listening to her, LinÒ said gently, ÒYou have experienced a lot, and you have seen an unknown side.Often times, the line between art and life is blurred, and when we create, we unknowingly put our hearts into it.But when we care too much about external evaluations, we lose ourselves."
Shen Riquet couldn't help but ask, "What should I do then?Do I have to keep painting?If my work is not understood, how am I going to face this loneliness?"
Lin Òài smiled faintly, "True art is often something that cannot be expressed in words, it needs time to settle down and courage to persevere.You don't have to create for the sake of others, but for the sake of your own heart.Only if you understand yourself, the emotions and stories in the paintings will come to life."