... UNPLEASANT FEELINGS...
~RIVIAN~
It was as cold as piss outside. At least, it was for me. It was sunny with a touch of clouds, and a pleasant breeze came to greet me with a fresh smell of the forest. But I was shivering like a sick puppy and sweating in places I never knew I could, all while feeling like I had been fucked by a truck. Twice.
I leaned back against the wall – more like fell against it – and slumped down onto the ground. Fuck. It was less graceful than I intended, but everything hurt from my scalp to the tips of my toes and everything in between.
I was lucky no one was around to witness such a pathetic sight. If my father ever caught wind of such disgraceful behavior, then he would have lectured the ears off my head and would have arranged for Lady Grace to return to the island.
'Lady' was never a fitting title for that monstrous woman. Her etiquette lessons always resulted in me feeling battered and bruised by her offhand remarks as she nit-picked my every movement.
I was a prince and was expected to conduct myself respectfully, yes, but Lady Grace expected me to be perfect even if I was asleep. Gods, that woman would probably have died from a heart attack if she'd seen me in my current state.
The hot-baked bricks underneath me did absolutely nothing for my shivers. My hands shook so much that I struggled to light the cigarette pinched between my fingers.
It's been a year since I quit smoking. Still, with the recent stress building a fucking mountain on my back, Cain's unexpected disappearance, and the tsunami of emotions crashing into me on an hourly basis, I found myself in desperate need of release. Every drag I imagined his yellow eyes, the way he'd smiled at me that night, right before leaving. The kiss I'd been stupid enough to give him. My first kiss...
Wherever the fuck he was and whatever he was doing brought back bitter memories. The last time I felt this bad was when I first met him. I was young back then. Scared. And didn't understand what it meant to have orange eyes.
With the cigarette finally lit, I leaned my head against the wall and tried to sit up straight. I raised my hand to my lips and puffed a little, testing it out, before pulling in a big cloud of the shittiest cigarette I could get my hands on. I nearly spit my lungs out, but the familiar burn worked wonders for my pain. Or maybe it wasn't the smoke. Maybe it was Cora shielding me from him, and this was just me pretending I had control.
The abandoned building just south of the academy was the perfect place to smoke in secret. No one came anywhere near it. It was too far outside the reach of the barrier, and after the attack six years ago, when Henry swarmed the academy with Daemun loyal to him, many didn't want to leave the safety of the barrier anyway.
"Can he tell her again?"
"I told you three times already," I said and glanced up at the Daemun resting on top of the ruined wall. Cora. She was a Daemun from Cain's clan.
"Then please tell her one more time. Her eyes can no longer see, but she desires to remember."
Cora looked up at the sky. Her lustrous black scales had a blueish sheen, like raven feathers, and her delicate white eyes sparkled like glittering stars. She had lost her vision to a Maji six years ago. She was burned. Her eyes used to be ruby red, just like any other Daemun's, and they were radiant with a sense of wonder.
I sucked on the cigarette again and felt most of the pain subside. Cora must have sensed my pain and helped alleviate it. Or I had gone crazy, thinking a cigarette was enough to ease my pain. Cain would've mocked me for it. Called me weak, then lit one himself just to rub it in, because he never missed a chance to be dramatic. And I'd be stuck watching. My eyes on his mouth, the way his lips curled around the filter, the slow inhale as he'd make eye contact with me. Wanting desperately to be where that cigarette was. Jealous of a rolled-up stick of paper and dried leaves. Fuck I'm pathetic.
My gaze moved to the sky above us. "A vast ocean is suspended in the sky, and it invites all to join the moon adrift in its endless currents. A few clouds are in sight, birds dance with the breeze, and the moon's crescent shape is smiling down at Ri'elle. Promising peace and tranquillity."
"And what of the rift?"
I looked at the tear in the sky, or at least, where it should have been. During the day, the rift wasn't visible, but the white planet within it was. It was the Daemun's home world. Layer 689. Or, as they called it, Ataraxia'a.
"It's above the moon. As usual, it's slightly smaller. The slit will make its appearance soon. It's on the other side of the planet."
The slit was a crater on the face of the planet and was rumored to be the birthplace of all Daemun, but I have never received a straight answer when asking if the rumors were true.
"Has Rivian ever been to Ataraxia'a?" Cora dropped her head as if to peer at me. Her tongue flicked in and out of her mouth, and her transparent eyelids pulled over her eyes, depositing a thin film of moisture. Most people would be terrified of a gigantic snake, but Cora was the most soft-hearted Daemun I'd ever encountered; just the thought of some jackass harming her infuriated me.
I shook my head, "Fuck no. It's inhospitable. But to a Daemun who lives and breathes mana, I could imagine that it would be no different from living in this forest."
"That is true. If Rivian were to step foot on it, his crystals would shatter, he would be unable to contain the insurmountable amount of pure mana forcing itself inside of him, and he would likely die."
"Tell that to any Maji, and they would jump at the opportunity to be drowned in mana."
"Perhaps if Rivian were normal, he'd have the same reaction as any Maji would. Mana is the source of magic. All would desire to covet such power. But Rivian isn't normal."
"I recognize the drawbacks. To a Daemun, mana is simply the air they breathe and the food they digest. For Maji, it's more than that. It is their lifeblood. Without it, they die. Too much of it, they go insane and commit suicide because their crystals grow inside them, piercing into their organs and tearing them apart."
I raised the cigarette to my lips, took another drag, and stared blankly at the sky. The wind swept through my hair, and the rustle of leaves blocked out the sound of my ringing ears.
"Let go of me!" someone screamed nearby. Their voice bounced off the walls. I closed my eyes and brought my hands up to cover my ears. The high-pitched whistle got louder, and I felt my head begin to sting with a migraine.
'Ugh,' I groaned internally.
"Maji…" Cora murmured. Quickly fleeing beyond the ruined walls. She couldn't be seen by other people, so there was no reason for her to hide, but I understood why she avoided people, especially Maji.
"I'll let go of you when you're dead!" another voice filled the silence.
I got up and sighed. I threw my cigarette down, squashed it underneath my shoe, and then walked off in the direction of the two Maji.
I found them clawing at each other on the ground. Amberly had her hands around Arena's throat. Her face was red with rage. Arena, pinned to the ground underneath her, smacked Amberly's face and pushed her aside. They swapped positions, and Arena sprang to her feet, putting some distance between the two of them. She muttered an ignition spell under her breath. Flames erupted out of her palms and danced around her hands with violent fury.
Amberly spat blood out of her mouth and raised her hands out in front of her. Little sparks of electricity danced between her fingers. Being extremely sensitive to mana, I felt the static field her magic was creating as she sucked mana into her crystals and prepared the air around her for an extremely dangerous spell.
"Vera–"
"That's enough!" I interrupted her. Her spell was too unpredictable, and Amberly, although she was affiliated with air, simply wasn't skilled enough to control it yet. Or smart enough. "Lightning magic requires a lot of discipline and precise calculation to execute correctly. It isn't something a Maji can just throw around blindly."
"Stay out of this, Riv," Arena spat. "I'll take this bitch to the grave with me if I have to."
"I would like to see you try! Vera Eris Fulminis'thir!" Amberly shouted and fired a bolt of lightning at Arena, but it was absorbed by Arena's barrier spell, which created a thick wall of compressed air and magicules that resembled a shield regalia.
"Stop this at once!" My voice cut sharp through the crackle of gathering mana. "You know the rules! Take it to the combat arena, or I'll see your magic sealed for a week. I don't care if this is outside the barrier; you're still on academy grounds."
"Kjevsky–"
"No!" I snapped at Amberly, no doubt about to give me a well-thought-of excuse. "Are you crazy? Throwing that kind of spell at a person? Have you learned nothing from Professor Flamesworth? We are surrounded by trees. It has not rained in over a month. What if you caused a forest fire? Or what if your spell hit and seriously injured Arena?"
"I had perfect control, Kjevsky Rivian; there was no reason for you to step in. I just wanted to teach her a lesson. No, I had to," Amberly retorted.
"Ugh! I've had enough of her attitude, Riv! She acts like royalty just because her hair is black. Just who does she think she is?" Arena supplied more mana to her flames, which increased their size and brightness.
A fluorescent blue-green spear materialized in the palm of my hand. It was pure mana, which took on no elemental form, compressed and condensed outside of the body. It wasn't easy to manipulate mana outside of one's crystals, but with the right training and guidance, it was possible. Knowing that they couldn't stop me if I chose to become further involved, the two girls shuddered at the sight of it.
I ignored Arena's comment on Amberly's hair colour. It was true that black hair was associated with the royal family, but it wasn't uncommon for Maji to be born with it.
"This isn't over," Amberly warned. She turned to look at me, briefly bowed her head, and walked away. When she was out of sight, my eyes moved to Arena, and my regalia pulled back into my body.
"Oh, don't you dare look at me like that! She started it."
"For fucks sake, Arena, did you hit your head somewhere?" I paused, hoping for a response, but she just stared at me with a clueless expression. "She is an air affiliate. She is every fire affiliate's worst nightmare! Her air-based spells can render us useless faster than we can burn anything, and her lightning poses an additional threat. God, you are so conceited."
"Aww, is pwince Wivian wowwied abwout mwe?" she baby-talked, batting her eyelashes and rounding her lips like a little girl.
"Fuck. Why are we still friends?" I muttered under my breath and walked away.
"Fankies for swaving mwe. I'm weally gwateful!" She followed me.
"Fucking hell, you're so shameless. Stop talking like that. It's unbecoming of a Marquis's daughter to speak like that."
Arena burst out laughing, smacking my back a few times as she cackled like a witch. I glared at her and opened my mouth to say something, but my nose suddenly began to bleed. I wiped it away quickly, but she had already seen it.
'Fuck.'
"Oh my god! Riv, are you okay? Did I do that?"
"It's not you, it's–"
"You're bleeding! Is it always this bad?" she asked, quickly cutting me off.
Her sudden concern for my well-being made me feel uncomfortable. She was a childhood friend, yes, but we weren't exactly as close as we seemed. We barely interacted since… well…
'I'd rather not think about that.'
"No. It's just worse today. Cain must be nearby, so I'm just having a harder time than usual. I'm fine..."
"So that's why he called me?"
'What? Why the fuck would he call her and not me?'
Arena sprinted westward, towards Cain's mansion. Despite being in bad shape, I followed her, forcing my pained body to keep pace. With Cora gone, I felt my senses return to me.
We broke through the trees and entered the western sports field. We turned left and followed the path snaking up the western cliffside.
When we reached the top, I saw Cain's yellow car parked near the stairs leading up to the front door. The engine was still running, and the passenger door had been left open. He must have been in a hurry.
I leaned inside, grabbed his keys, shut the door, and was about to leave, but noticed a familiar scent coming from the back of the car. Curious, I popped the trunk, not at all surprised to find a body stuffed inside.
'Is that... Mel? What the fuck is he doing in Cain's trunk? Cain... what the fuck have you been up to?'
"Rivian, let's go. He might be injured," Arena said, grabbing my sleeve.
We skipped some steps leading up to the front door and burst inside. Arena let go of me, allowing me to take the lead.
"Cain!" I called for him. There was no answer, but I heard a noise coming from the kitchen.
My heart was clawing at my ribcage, and the blood pumping in my veins felt hot, sticky, and disgusting. The closer I got to Cain, the more uncomfortable I felt.
"Kitchen," Arena said behind me, sounding a little nervous. I nodded.
I walked down the hall and straightened my posture as much as I could. I nearly fainted when I entered the kitchen. My head hurt so much that I feared it might explode. I hugged the doorway and stared at Cain, looking through the countless jars of ointments he stored in his fridge.
"Well fuck me sideways!" he cursed and threw a few jars on the floor, clearly frustrated that he couldn't find what he was looking for.
'What's he doing? Is he looking for blood?'
I felt dizzy again and slumped onto the ground. Arena, still behind me, didn't come any closer, preferring to keep her distance. Cain turned around. He paused when he saw me, but then his expression hardened, and his eyes flicked up to Arena.
"I don't recall asking for him, Thornwood. We can't be near each other right now."
"You need me, Cain," I said through a breath.
"I can't think straight with you here." He moved back to the fridge and returned to the jars of ointments. "Leave."
"What are you looking for? What's wrong? Why does it hurt so much?" I got up. My legs shook underneath me, and I held onto the doorframe for support. Cain ignored me, opening a jar of ointment and sniffing it to identify its ingredients.
I wiped more blood off my sleeve and walked closer to him. He smelled like blood that didn't belong to him, and something else, but a glance over his body told me that he wasn't injured. Even if he had been injured, he'd have healed by now. So, what was causing him so much pain?
"It's not me, Rivian. You are sensing him," he finally spoke, closing the jar and placing it back onto the fridge.
"Maeve?" I asked, my voice tighter than I intended. "Is he… did he…"
I stopped. Couldn't finish the question. The words felt too heavy, too final.
'Why is it so damn hard to ask?' I thought, frustration and fear knotting in my chest.
I shook my head, refusing to face the grim possibility that something terrible had happened to him. Maeve wasn't just any Daemun. He was Cain's family, and by extension, mine. I had grown to care for him as fiercely as I would my own kin. Losing him… I couldn't even let myself imagine it.
"I'll explain later. I need the right ointment. She doesn't have much time."
"She?" As far as I was concerned, Maeve was male, and I couldn't sense him through Cain like this before. So, what the hell was going on? Has Maeve become Cain's familiar?
"Heli vita'a es vespr," Cain said in Dren and glanced over the jars with red lids. Since he never labeled anything, it was always a pain in the ass to figure out what was what.
"A blood infection?" I pulled out the jar with the black lid. "Here, it's this one."
Cain snatched it out of my hands and ran out of the kitchen. I turned around in confusion, only to see Arena with the same expression on her face.
"Vis es… sii? Un doa des sii un resch?" she asked and frowned.
"Hebi Daemun? Ys wit ni…"
"Where the fuck is Reed, Thornwood? I asked you to bring him here!" Cain called out.
I followed his voice to the infirmary, across the drawing room, and down a short hallway while Arena disappeared to look for my brother. When I reached the door, Cain appeared out of nowhere and shoved me away from the room.
"I don't think you're ready for this, Rivian."
"What?"
"If you were, I wouldn't have called for Reed. Just… let us handle this. Wait outside."
"Cain, vis es sii?" He didn't answer me, choosing to stare me down instead. Whoever she was, he was determined to keep me away from her. "Cain?"
"Wait outside, Rivian." Cain's eyes darkened, turning more gold than yellow. "It would be best for you to leave. Please."
"Step aside, Cain."
"No."
"Cain. If Maeve is in there dying..."
"I will not let that happen." We stared at each other. Cain sighed heavily, giving up." Fine. I need you to give me your word that you won't harm the girl in this room. Ever. Promise me."
"What?"
He grabbed onto my jacket and yanked me closer. I was hit with Cain's energy, slamming into me like a tidal wave. His mana was incredibly violent. It ripped into my insides like it was searching for something. It always felt that way.
My head spun, my stomach lurched, and I felt my body shiver. Our noses nearly brushed, and I had to throw my head back just to keep from collapsing under the sheer weight of his energy, fearing that if we touched directly, it would get worse.
"Yinu Myra, Rivian." His voice was stern, indicating that he would not take no for an answer.
"Ys yinu…" I said awkwardly.
Thanks to our connection, I felt him calm down. Cain let go of me and took a step back. She must have been important to him if he made me promise not to harm her. But he's never done that before. He was acting weird. Was she his secret lover or something?
He allowed me to enter the room, where the light bounced off the white walls and furniture. It was a typical infirmary, with only three small beds spaced a few paces apart. The room was quite spacious, allowing for easy movement from one bed to another without getting in a patient's way.
The girl was unconscious and placed on the bed closest to the door. The white sheets were covered in black blood, and the girl was barely breathing. The wound on her neck was massive.
"I see, so Maeve bit this girl," I observed.
'She must have done something to him,' I thought, trying to come up with an explanation. It was rare for Maeve to attack someone. She must have provoked him. 'But that's not just any bite wound... he marked her.'
My eyes moved from her wound to her thick, honey-blonde curls resting next to her head. My chest tightened as my eyes rested on her pale face. Her eyes were closed, and her long lashes bent as they were pressed against her chubby cheeks. A thin line of barely visible freckles decorated her cheeks and nose.
"Cyn…?" I breathed, my voice trembling, almost foreign to my own ears.
'No way. How is she...'
My mind refused to process it. She had died six years ago. And yet, impossibly, she was here, lying before me, blood matted in her hair, bruises shadowing her skin, and somehow alive.
A cold, disbelieving shiver ran through me, crawling over my spine and settling like ice in my chest. My knees threatened to buckle, my hands clenched at my sides as though gripping reality itself could keep it from shattering. Every instinct screamed that this was wrong, that my memory was mocking me, that my heart had skipped too many beats and the next one might not come.
Her shallow breaths, the faint rise and fall of her chest, the subtle warmth radiating from her skin, it all hammered at me like fire against ice. Confusion, disbelief, relief, and a desperate, choking fear collided in my chest so violently that I felt as if I might suffocate.
My mind spun, trying and failing to reconcile the girl before me with the one I held in my arms all those years ago, the one I had mourned, the one I had believed I lost forever.
Without thinking, I leaned forward, my hand twitching toward her. Just a touch. To make sure she was real. My fingers hovered over her arm, trembling, and then I pulled back sharply, heart hammering. I couldn't touch her. Not again. Not ever.
"This is Kiera..." Cain said, stepping closer. His hand rested on my shoulder, his fingers gently squeezing me. "She's... Kade's daughter."
Blood ran down my nose and over my mouth, falling off my chin and landing on the polished tiles. I smacked Cain's hand off me, and turned around to face him.
"Do you think this is funny? I know you have a very unusual sense of humor, but this is taking it too far." Cain stared at me blankly, not blinking or moving any of his facial muscles. He wasn't kidding. He was serious. "Bis Drengr! That's why you made me promise?"
"You'd better keep your word, Rivian. You will not harm her."
I laughed bitterly, glancing back at the girl. "Luckily, I don't have to. Her blood will do it for me."
"Rivian!" Cain growled my name, warning me not to cross a line he's so clearly drawn for me.
"I am here, Cain," my brother said and entered the room.
"Fuck! I-I can't do this. I'm going outside." I shoved past Reed. Fuck! Cain was right. I should've waited outside.
Walking down the hall, I wiped the blood off my face. Arena stood at the end of the hallway and stared at me. She looked concerned. I would have been, too, if I were her, seeing me bleeding when I'd never been harmed in the first place.
I avoided making eye contact. I was scared that if our eyes met, she'd see me cry.
I couldn't stand being in the same room as that asshole's daughter. How could she look exactly like the girl he had murdered six years ago?
"I need a fucking cigarette."
"Rivian?" She tried to take my hand, but I yanked it back and walked around her toward the front door. "Where are you going?"
"Cora." I stepped outside, feeling the breeze smack into my shaking body. I hadn't even realized how much I had been shaking. I glanced over my shoulder at Arena. "Don't even think of following me. I want to be alone."