Chapter 8
Title: The Naked Man
'All Pie is good Pie' - Probably Basil
I stepped through the door and found myself in a wide, open chamber that smelled of moss and moisture. On the far end, stone stairs stretched upward as if they were pulling down the sky, illuminated by sunlight gracing each step from the outside.
My eyes widened and a smile spread across my face.
"Finally… something good happens to me for a change."
*THUD*
A figure dropped from the ceiling. Causing me to halt mid-step, sword half-at the ready.
"What the fuck are you?" I asked under my breath
The creature was humanoid, roughly my size, but distinctly female. Her body was a grotesque patchwork of human and demon parts, stitched together in unnatural symmetry. One half of her face wore a twisted smile, its red demon eye gleaming with malice. The other half wept silently, a human eye filled with sadness. She wore only tattered scraps of fabric for clothing and held two curved daggers.
Above her head, glowing text appeared:
[Gatekeeper (S+)]
I groaned. "A Named? You've gotta be kidding me."
The Gatekeeper let out a snarl and vanished, reappearing in a blur. In a spinning motion, she slashed at me with both blades.
"Shit, I barely saw that coming." I grunted, blocking both strikes with my sword. With a quick kick, I pushed her back and responded immediately with a Mana Slash, then Earth Spikes, sending a flurry of projectiles her way.
She dodged the slash and crossed her daggers to block the spikes, absorbing the impact before lunging again.
"She blocked my spikes?" I muttered, tightening my grip.
*VOOSH*
She vanished again and reappeared overhead. I tried to block, but I was too slow.
Her dagger plunged into my side.
"Ughhhh, damn you're fast… This isn't looking too good."
The Gatekeeper pulled the dagger free and flipped backwards to retreat.
I stumbled, clenching my side and activating my healing skill to close the wound.
"I can't use Nova Bomb—it's still on cooldown. And nothing else I've got can keep up with her speed…"
I groaned, frustration building. "One more thing to try. If this doesn't work, I'll have to us THAT."
I charged her, holding my left hand to my side. A shadowy vortex opened beneath where my palm hovered, and from it rose a temporary blade black as sin.
*DING*
## You Have Created a New Skill ##
[Nameless] (A) Would you like to name this skill or let the system decide?
"NAME the skill?! GO AWAY, CAN'T YOU TELL I'M BUSY?! FUCKING MENU BLOCKING MY VISION"
I roared mid-clash, blades colliding with hers again in a chaotic exchange.
*DING*
## Skill Registered ##
'GO AWAY CAN'T YOU TELL I'M BUSY' (A)Summons a sword of shadow that increases attack speed of the user by 5% Cost 5 MP per second Fades back into particles of mana when the user lets go of the hilt.
"Oh for the love of the goddess—"
The Gatekeeper dropped low, spun, and kicked me in the chest, sending me sliding across the stone floor.
"Ugh… DAMN IT!"
I stood, eyes hard.
"Innocence."
I said it so smoothly, so quietly that the word practically slithered out of my mouth.
At once, the Gatekeeper froze. Souls, by the hundreds, began pouring out of her body and into me. A black aura swelled around me, veins bulging as my muscles tensed. I gripped both swords tightly.
"Yeah… this is gonna suck in five minutes. Better make it count."
I leaned forward and vanished, like a flash of lightning across the floor. I struck with both blades in a stabbing motion, but the Gatekeeper, crying harder now, twisted out of the way and retaliated. I dropped the shadow blade mid-motion, letting it vanish, and grabbed my remaining sword with both hands.
I raised it high, moving so fast everything around me looked like it was going in slow motion I brought it down.
My blade cut straight through her daggers that she was using to block with and then cleaved her body in two.
The pieces fell separately, first the human side, now smiling. Then the demon side, locked in surprise.
*DING*
## Named Kill ##
Gatekeeper (S+) Reward: 12,000 XP
I dropped to the floor, chugged a healing potion to heal my side, and stared at her remains. In her chest, like the others, was a cracked artificial mana crystal.
"Just what are you things…?"
Then it hit me like a tide pulling away in the morning.
"Great here it comes"
My aura faded slowly. My eyes turned ghostly white. After a few seconds a tear slipped down my cheek before my purple irises slowly faded back into reality.
"712… I'm sorry, I couldn't protect you."
I wiped away the tear and stood.
'Innocence' , one of two skills from my Eldritch Knight class, granted me a 300% strength boost for five minutes by absorbing the souls of a target's victims. But the cost?
I had to relive every one of their deaths.
I saw what they saw. Felt what they felt. And died the way they died.
If I'm lucky it's one soul.
Sometimes it's 712.
"Looks like the girl used as the model for this abomination was some assassin… sent here to take out whoever's making these things. Guess she got caught."
I stashed my sword in my inventory and approached the stairs. Sunlight beaming down.
I smiled faintly, raised my hand to shield my face, and ascended.
The mouth-shaped hole at the top of the mountain opened into open air. Real air. Real grass. Real sky.
"I'm not dreaming… that's real grass. Those are real trees… that's the real sun… ha… ha"
"YESSS, I'M OUT, BABYYYYY!"
"WOOOOOHOOOO!"
I danced around the mountain peak, fists raised.
"What do I do first? Find a beautiful woman? Nah. Get some grub? Close… but no." I said as I paced around in a circle.
Snapping my fingers.
"Hot spring. That's it. I want a bath. A hot springs bath!"
I ran full speed down the mountainside, with mana reinforced legs leaving imprints of my foot from how heavy I was hitting the ground.
I stood on the edge of a cliff that looked over the horizon. I scanned the area and saw a rather large town.
"BINGO"
It only took me two minutes to reach it. I stood at the edge of the buzzing city, my eyes wide with wonder.
"Woah, so many things have changed…"
Stone roads. Shops with glass windows. People, actual people, chatting, rushing, laughing, trading. Horse-drawn carriages clattered by. Everyone was moving with purpose.
I, on the other hand, skipped.
I darted from shop to shop, peering into windows, poking at signs, pointing at things like a kid at a festival. My eyes sparkled, purple and wide, as I soaked in every detail. The road. The people. The clothes. The smells.
A few townsfolk stopped and stared at the barefoot, half-naked man covered in dirt and dried blue blood, skipping like a maniac, but I didn't mind!
"Mommy, why is that homeless person naked?" a little girl asked as they passed me.
"Hush, honey. what if he hears you?" her mother whispered, hurrying her along.
"Fucking crystal sniffers," muttered an old man from a bench. "They're everywhere nowadays. Tch."
I didn't hear a word of any of it. I was too focused on all the new things in the world.
I reached the town's center fountain, a sculpture of a man holding a sword high, a demon's head skewered on its tip. I paused, puzzled.
"…Huh. That guy kinda looks like me. Weird."
I leaned over the water and caught my reflection, long, unkempt hair, a tangled beard, purple eyes under heavy lids, and a face that had seen death over and over again.
"Damn. I need a haircut."
With a grin, I turned and skipped toward a quieter street, less populated and a bit run-down.
*Sniff*
"OH GREAT HEAVENS—WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!"
I spun in a circle, trying to find the source.
"There!"
I pointed at a shabby tavern with a few chipped tables outside and a crooked sign that read: Gyras Tavern.
I licked my lips.
Inside, the tavern was modest, but warm. A handful of people sat at tables, mid-conversation, drinks in hand. That conversation stopped immediately when I walked in.
"MMMM PIE!" I shouted, eyes locked on a still-steaming pie cooling on the bar.
I walked over, stuck my entire hand into the center, and scooped out a fistful of blueberry filling. Then shoved it into my mouth.
"Mmmmph! And itz bueberry!" I mumbled, eyes tearing up.
The entire tavern stared at me in stunned silence.
"…Did he just—"
"Yep."
Then the laughter began. One by one, the patrons broke into howling laughter at the sight of a half-naked wild man devouring pie like a starving animal.
The laughter died quickly when three men walked in.
One short and chubby, dressed in fine silks and leaning on a golden-goose cane. Behind him, two muscle-bound thugs in nice suits followed, curved blades at their hips.
The short man sneered. "Where's Gyra?"
"Coming!" called a sweet voice from the kitchen behind the bar.
The three approached the bar, standing next to me, as I was now licking the pie plate like a dog.
A stunning woman walked in—long blue hair tied up in a bun, radiant blue eyes, wearing a dress and tight apron that crumbs and stains on it. She looked at me first.
Her eye twitched.
Then she saw the three men, and her expression shifted to annoyance.
"Gyra," the short man said smugly, "it's been two weeks. Where's the protection fee? You wouldn't want this cozy little shack to get blown down, would ya?"
"Mr. Garthen, I told you… my oven broke. I had to buy a new one or I couldn't feed anyone. I don't have the coin this month, but I will!"
Garthen nodded at his thug. The man turned and hurled a chair into the wall, shattering it and a window. He went to grab another.
"WAIT!" Gyra shouted, hand out. "Isn't there anything else I can give you?!"
Garthen grinned and licked his lips. "Well… there is one thing…" his eyes drifted to her body.
*SLAM*
I dropped the plate on the bar and let out a loud burp.
"Man, that was good. Hey, little girl, you make that pie?"
Gyra's face twitched at 'little girl'. "Uh… yes. Are you going to pay for it?"
"HEY!" Garthen barked. "Can't you see we're in the middle of somethin here? Buzz off, freak."
I ignored him, still facing Gyra. "I'm quite the pie guy. I know quality—"
"Even if it's been a century or two since I last had one" I muttered under my breath.
"And yours is definitely worth keeping around so,"
I turned my thumb toward Garthen. "Want me to take care of fatso for you?"
Garthen's eyes bulged. "Who you calling fat, pal?! You got any clue who I am?!"
He snapped his fingers. The two thugs grabbed me by the shoulders.
I stood slowly. Calmly.
"I suggest you take your hands off me… before I remove them."
A glob of blueberry jam dripped from my beard onto the floor.
The men chuckled.
*SWOOSH*
A mana slash erupted upward—both men's hands dropped to the ground.
"AAAAAGH!"
One screamed and grabbed his bleeding stump. The other went for his curved blade, and swung at me but I dodged effortlessly, grabbed his face, and launched him out the front door.
Garthen stumbled back, stunned.
I approached.
"Just who do you think you-"
"Kneel."
Garthen opened his mouth to speak…
*KRAK!*
Like a boulder had been dropped on his neck, he collapsed to the floor under my skill.
"P-please—don't kill me…"
"Don't come back here. Ever. Or there won't be a warning next time."
"I-I understand! Yes! I got it!" Garthen stammered.
I released the skill. Garthen scrambled out, dragging his last thug with him.
"Um… thank you," Gyra said cautiously. "But aren't you worried he'll come back for you?"
"Nah," I waved her off. "He couldn't hurt me even if he tried"
"YOU THERE! STOP!" a voice boomed from the entrance.
Two armored guards stepped into the tavern.
"You are hereby under arrest for public indecency and destruction of property."
"Huh?"
They slapped metal cuffs on me and hauled me outside.
⸻
I stood in a cell, hands grabbing the metal bars, face blank.
"…Huhhhhhh?!"