The door clicked shut behind him with a soft thud, muffling the sounds of the rest of the house.
Yuki stood there in the quiet, his small hands clutching the hem of his oversized hoodie, his expression twisted in that all-too-familiar mix of pouty annoyance and something deeper—something more desperate. The soft lighting in his new room gave it a warm glow, and tucked in the corner on the bed was that same silly bear Shin had given him. Its button eyes stared back at him with empty sympathy.
"Stupid bear…" Yuki muttered, crossing his arms and flopping onto the bed, face first. "Everyone's just doing whatever they want…"
He rolled onto his back, grabbing the bear and holding it above his face, glaring up at it like it was the one to blame.
"Shin is with Ai again, isn't he?" he mumbled. His cheeks were already red, his brows furrowed. "Bet he's got his stupid face buried between her thighs while she's making those dumb noises…"
The moment he said it, he whimpered, his thighs pressing together reflexively. His voice cracked. "And A-Chan's probably playing with Haa-Chan's boobs again…"
He hugged the bear to his chest tightly, his body trembling slightly.
"I'm here alone… talking to you," he whispered bitterly. "Why am I the only one not being loved right now? Why is it always them?"
His heart raced. There were faint, unmistakable sounds through the wall now—soft gasps, moans, Ai's muffled cries that only meant one thing.
He bit his lip hard.
It hurt.
But not as much as the ache growing inside him.
"…He's supposed to love me too…" Yuki whispered, his voice cracking. "He said he does…"
The memory of the other night washed over him like a fever. The kisses. The teasing. The moment Shin had taken him completely, whispering his name like it meant the world. The pain… and the pleasure. It was burned into his skin, his nerves, his soul.
"I hate him… I hate that I love him this much," Yuki growled to himself, burying his face in the bear's soft fur. "I'm supposed to be enough too…"
His hand tightened around the bear's paw.
"I want him to come in here," he whispered shakily. "I want him to say my name. I want him to hold me like that again…"
He turned onto his side, curling up in the blankets, breathing hard. His skin was hot. His chest felt tight. He felt that need again, deeper this time—wilder. And it scared him.
But more than that…
He wanted it.
Thirty minutes passed like a slow, painful eternity.
Yuki had shifted so many times under the covers he was now tangled in them, his breath uneven, face flushed and hot. His thighs squeezed together under the fabric of his hoodie, his entire body a bundle of desperate nerves and tension. His fingers trembled as they clutched the silly bear tighter to his chest, pressing his cheek into its soft fur.
"I hate this…" he whispered.
His voice was raw, barely audible. He hated the way his body felt—needy, burning, restless. He hated how every little noise from the other room stabbed at him. And more than anything… he hated how much he needed Shin in that moment. Craved him. Missed him.
Then—
Click.
The doorknob turned.
Yuki froze.
The door creaked open.
And there—standing in the soft light from the hallway, tall and calm with that familiar, maddeningly warm expression—was Shin.
Yuki's heart punched hard against his chest. "Don't… don't look at me, you bastard," he barked, voice trembling with both fury and relief.
Shin stepped inside without a word, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Yuki sat up halfway on the bed, arms crossed tightly, hoodie sleeves covering his hands like paws. "I said don't look at me!"
But Shin didn't listen. He never did when Yuki got like this.
He walked over slowly, his gaze soft but unrelenting, and knelt at the edge of the bed. Yuki refused to look at him—his red eyes shimmered with the threat of tears as he turned his face away stubbornly.
"I heard you," Shin said gently.
"Then why the hell are you still staring at me, idiot?"
"Because I missed you."
Yuki's throat clenched. He blinked rapidly, his breath catching.
Shin leaned forward, one hand reaching out. Yuki flinched when he felt fingers gently slide against his cheek, tilting his face toward Shin. Their eyes met.
"Don't…" Yuki whispered, his voice cracking.
But Shin didn't stop. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to Yuki's lips—slow and firm. Yuki let out a muffled whimper, his hands gripping Shin's shirt tightly. He kissed him back before he could even think to stop himself.
The kiss deepened, and Yuki's defenses began to tremble. His body betrayed him—leaning in, trembling hands clutching tighter. His lips parted for Shin without resistance.
When they finally pulled back, Yuki blinked at him, dazed. "W-Weren't you with Ai?" he mumbled, eyes glassy.
Shin smiled, brushing a lock of hair behind Yuki's ear. "She fell asleep."
"Of course she did…" Yuki spat, the jealousy in his voice cutting through the air. "You always go to her first, don't you? Then come to me when it's convenient."
Shin didn't argue.
He only smiled, then cupped Yuki's cheek and kissed him again—tenderly this time, like he was apologizing without saying the words.
Yuki swore under his breath, muffled by the kiss.
"Bastard…"
"I'll take that," Shin whispered against his lips. "And the next one. And the one after that…"
Shin gently pushed him back onto the bed, and Yuki let himself fall, breath shaky. The anger hadn't left—but it melted, tangled with aching need and longing.
He didn't resist when Shin started undoing the zipper of his hoodie, fingers slow and deliberate.
Yuki watched him silently, his chest rising and falling with anticipation. "You always… act like this fixes everything," he said hoarsely.
Shin pulled the hoodie down from his shoulders, leaning in again, lips brushing over the skin of Yuki's neck. "It doesn't fix everything," he whispered between kisses. "But I know what you're feeling right now. And I'm not letting you fall into that place alone."
"You're such a jerk…" Yuki murmured, but his arms slid around Shin's neck anyway.
Shin kissed down his collarbone, letting his hands run up under Yuki's shirt, feeling the heat of his skin. Yuki bit back a moan, turning his face to the side, eyes squeezed shut.
"You could've stayed with her…" he whispered.
"But I couldn't leave you like this."
Shin pulled off his own shirt next, tossing it aside, and laid beside Yuki, their foreheads pressed together. He kissed him again, softer now—more deliberate.
Yuki's hands wandered to his chest, fingertips brushing down lightly, trailing against skin that felt too warm, too familiar.
"I hate this… I hate how much I need this…"
"I know," Shin murmured, "but I love you. And I'm here."
Their legs tangled under the sheets. Clothes were shed slowly, deliberately, until skin touched skin and the heat between them was unbearable.
Shin kissed Yuki's trembling fingers, then his neck, then his lips again, never breaking contact. "Let me stay with you," he whispered.
Yuki finally nodded, just once, voice barely audible. "…Okay."
Shin wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close, his touches becoming more tender and more serious with every passing second. The atmosphere thickened with their shared heat, their need to feel connected, to not be forgotten, to not be the one left out.
Their lips met again—more urgently now. Yuki's breathing hitched as Shin's hand slid along the curve of his waist, settling possessively at the small of his back.
Yuki closed his eyes.
He didn't need to say it. Shin already knew.
He needed this—not just the closeness, but the raw affirmation that he mattered, that he was loved, that he was still chosen.
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END OF CHAPTER : 210 : I HATE THIS...
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