Some time passed. The rain had subsided to a drizzle, but the night was now completely dark. Shenhe felt movement in her arms—Qin Yu stirring.
"Mmm..."
First came a muffled nasal sound, then Qin Yu slowly opened her eyes, blinking languidly, her long lashes fluttering. She still seemed half-asleep, her mind hazy and unfocused.
"Good evening. Did you sleep well?" Shenhe asked softly.
"Mmm—? Ah... uh... mmm... Just a little longer," Qin Yu mumbled groggily, pressing closer and closing her eyes again, inhaling deeply.
Shenhe replied in an equally soft voice, "Alright, sleep soundly."
"Mmm... mmm?"
Just as her consciousness was about to sink back into the depths, Qin Yu suddenly snapped awake.
Why did I see Shenhe the moment I opened my eyes? Why is her voice so close? Why does my hand feel like it's touching soft flesh that isn't mine, and what's this unique fabric texture...?
As the sensations flooding her senses grew clearer, Qin Yu's mind sharpened.
Could it be... that I fell asleep in front of Shenhe again? And we're pressed this close?
Qin Yu's heart pounded, a torrent of emotions erupting into a hot flush that spread across her face and ears.
To confirm her suspicions, she cautiously peeked open her eyes.
So big!
Seeing Shenhe's chest left Qin Yu utterly flustered.
Evaluation: B-
Evaluation: B
Evaluation: B+
Evaluation: A-
So many!
What exactly did Shenhe do while I was asleep? Why are we pressed so close? And we're even embracing... It's so warm—no, this isn't the time to be thinking about that!
Shenhe had seen her sleeping posture again! How could Qin Yu not panic and feel mortified?
Yet, Shenhe didn't seem like the type to take such liberties.
And Qin Yu was well aware of her terrible sleeping habits. There had even been an incident where she fell asleep clutching her Anesthetic Rifle.
So, maybe, perhaps, possibly, most likely, could it be that... I was the one who leaned in first?
The moment this thought struck her, Qin Yu's mind froze like a computer crashing, snapping to a halt. Her indescribable emotions manifested as scorching breaths and a racing heartbeat.
She felt her entire body heating up.
Just kill me now.
Her skin still flushed crimson, but her heart felt utterly hopeless.
There's no choice. I'll just pretend nothing happened! First, I'll feign sleep, then quietly slip free, roll into a corner, and after a few minutes, act like I just woke up.
If Shenhe asks about what happened, I'll just play cute.
"Huh? Did something happen just now?"
If Shenhe presses the issue again, I'll deflect with vague confusion.
"I don't remember anything, actually."
Finally, I'll change the subject.
"Come to think of it, I haven't eaten yet."
Perfect!
Having swiftly formulated her plan, Qin Yu closed her eyes again, feigning the unconscious movements of sleep. She tried to roll over to create some distance, but couldn't.
Shenhe was still holding her tightly.
Wait a minute, what kind of sleeping position is this?! How can she hold me so tightly when I'm still asleep?! Qin Yu grumbled inwardly, forced to improvise a new tactic.
She turned around in place, facing away from Shenhe.
Success!
Now Shenhe will surely loosen her grip a little, Qin Yu thought.
But Shenhe didn't loosen her grip; instead, she pressed even closer.
Huh? Can't a person even sleep in peace?
"Qin Yu..." Shenhe murmured, her voice barely audible.
For some reason, this soft, almost prayer-like whisper sent a shiver through Qin Yu's entire body, like an electric current coursing through her veins. Despite the lack of any particular inflection in Shenhe's voice, the effect was overwhelming.
D-don't say my name like that!
And are you a koala or something? Stop hugging me already. Even if you are a koala, I'm not a tree!
Evaluation: A
Can I block you?
[This feature is not available.]
Qin Yu sighed deeply, forcing herself to sound more cheerful. "I'm awake now," she said.
"Sorry, did I disturb you?"
No shit.
"Ahaha, not really. It's just... why are you hugging me so tightly, Shenhe?"
"I... don't quite understand myself."
You don't even understand yourself? Qin Yu felt even more helpless.
"But doing this makes me feel very happy and warm."
If hugging me doesn't make you feel warm, Hu Tao would probably bury me alive.
Realizing she couldn't let this continue, Qin Yu said, "I'm getting up now."
Shenhe released her grip, and Qin Yu sat up, Shenhe following suit.
What's my sleeping posture like? Qin Yu desperately wanted to ask, but it was obvious enough. You can't exactly maintain grace when you're using someone as a body pillow.
The only relief was that she didn't feel any drool trickling from the corner of her mouth.
What time is it now? Whoa, it's already so dark, and I haven't even had dinner yet...
After that heavy rain, there probably won't be any dry firewood left to burn. Guess I'll just have to eat some dried rations later. Come to think of it, I should probably say something to Shenhe, right?
Qin Yu hesitated for a moment, then said, "Shenhe... uhm, thank you."
"Why are you thanking me? I didn't do anything."
Not wanting to explain, Qin Yu offered a perfunctory smile. "For all sorts of things, I guess."
"I don't understand."
Good. The less she understands, the better.
Qin Yu really wanted to check her hair in a mirror to see if it had gotten messy again.
The mirror was in her backpack. Taking advantage of the lighter rain, she grabbed an umbrella and left the tent, rummaging through her backpack for dried rations, her water flask, a mirror, and a comb.
Back in the tent, Qin Yu first shared the dried rations with Shenhe, then opened the folding mirror.
Thank goodness, it's not too messy... But the thought of Shenhe having witnessed her sleeping posture still made Qin Yu want to sigh.
Whatever, whatever. What's done is done. Just pretend nothing happened!
Qin Yu had only run the comb through her hair a few times when Shenhe asked, "May I comb your hair for you?"
"Eh? W-why?" Qin Yu asked, bewildered.
"I just wanted to do it."
That all-purpose explanation again.
Qin Yu didn't really want to accept, but objectively speaking, there was nothing strange about someone helping her brush her hair. Refusing would be awkward and out of character.
"Then... I'll trouble you," Qin Yu said softly, handing over the comb.
"Mm, leave it to me," Shenhe replied, taking the comb and moving behind Qin Yu to gently begin brushing her raven-black hair.
Qin Yu gazed at their reflections in the mirror—herself and Shenhe. An indescribable, subtle sensation washed over her. Black and white, their contrasting colors sharply defined them, yet there was an almost imperceptible sense of them seeping into each other.
Come to think of it, how long had it been since someone had brushed her hair like this?
When her Master was still alive, she would occasionally do this. But after her Master's passing, Qin Yu had been brushing her hair alone ever since.
The familiar reflection of herself in the mirror, alongside Shenhe—a familiar face that shouldn't have been there...
"I had a dream just now," Shenhe suddenly said.
"What kind of dream?" Qin Yu asked, intrigued.
Shenhe had always given Qin Yu the impression of someone who didn't dream at all, so hearing her say this sparked intense curiosity.
Could it be a dream about her childhood?
After all, her Master always teased her about her "dark history."
Qin Yu noticed Shenhe's gaze fixed on the mirror, or rather, on her own reflection within it.
She's staring at me in the mirror? A vague unease crept into Qin Yu's heart.
"Ah, you don't actually have to tell me!" Qin Yu quickly forced a smile.
"There's nothing wrong with it. It wasn't a significant dream."
That's good. I must have been overthinking it.
But before Qin Yu could fully relax, Shenhe continued, "In the dream, you and I were family."
"Eh? Ah... I see," Qin Yu stammered, taken aback.
This isn't significant? Why would she dream about something like that? Daydreaming time is long past.
Couldn't she dream of something more meaningful? Like... making better friends or something?
But it's just a dream, after all.
Eager to change the subject, Qin Yu abruptly shifted the conversation. "Speaking of dreams, I had one too!"
"What was it about?"
Actually, I didn't dream anything at all.
"It was just... um, Shenhe looked really happy and content," Qin Yu blurted out, improvising a lie in her panic.
"Just me?"
"Ah-huh."
Shenhe paused her hair combing.
"Why just me?"
"I don't know either! That's just how dreams are. Anything can happen," Qin Yu replied with a straight face, which, to be fair, was actually true.
I'd had this bizarre dream before, where the Jade Chamber suddenly transformed into a giant robot and battled a colossal sea monster.
It was actually quite interesting.
Shenhe asked again, puzzled, "Happiness... what is it?"
Why did she suddenly throw me a philosophical question?
"It's like... a feeling of deep contentment and ease? Ahaha, I'm not really sure how to explain it," Qin Yu said with an awkward laugh. She truly didn't know how to articulate it.
After all, such emotions don't really need explanation.
A feeling of contentment and ease? So that's what it is, Shenhe thought. If the "happiness" ordinary people often talk about is really like that...
"Then I think... I am happy."
Qin Yu turned around in surprise.
"Really?"
"Yes, I mean it. But... I can't feel happy alone. You must... be by my side," Shenhe said, gazing intently at Qin Yu from close range.
Qin Yu was shaken to her core. What did Shenhe just say? What does that mean? Her mind felt like it was melting, unable to process the words.
"You are my... most important person."
Wait, don't say any more!
"Only with you can I feel happy."
Hah... Qin Yu lowered her head and took a deep breath.
Why... why does she keep saying things like this?! Even with her emotions restrained by the Red String, there's no reason for her to always say things like that...
Qin Yu couldn't bring herself to look at Shenhe, feeling utterly flustered even when Shenhe's gaze lingered on her.
Evaluation: A+
"So that's why I had that dream," Shenhe said.
Could Shenhe be thinking of...? No, no, being good friends is enough.
If they developed their relationship further, Qin Yu felt she would be overwhelmed by guilt and confess everything to Shenhe.
Even though Shenhe had previously said she would accept her, would that really hold true in reality?
Qin Yu thought to herself, I'm such a coward.
But was that really so wrong? Only by maintaining a proper distance could she wholeheartedly do various things for Shenhe without guilt, while also gaining the strength to protect herself.
Speaking of which, does Shenhe ever think about wanting to see my other side, like Yanfei did?
As Qin Yu's thoughts swirled into confusion, Shenhe hesitated for a moment before adding, "But... I don't know if I can truly stay by your side forever."
Huh?
What does she mean by that? Qin Yu's anxiety surged, and she blurted out without thinking,
"Why do you say that?"
"...After the exorcism, your condition suddenly deteriorated. I learned from the Adeptus Clan that this was due to the lingering influence of the monster."
So that's why I suddenly felt so awful back then.
But what does that have to do with anything?
"So what?" Qin Yu asked anxiously.
"Do you remember what my fate is?"
Qin Yu couldn't recall. Such things held little interest for her, so she'd never bothered to memorize them.
But Shenhe's question left her speechless.
Shenhe continued, "'First, the Lone Star Fate: destined for isolation, with family and friends scattered, leading to a solitary life. Second, the Calamity Star Fate: destined for endless trials and tribulations, a path fraught with peril.' That was the divination result given by Moon Carver."
"That's just a divination," Qin Yu retorted irritably.
"Divinations by the Adeptus Clan... should not be taken lightly. Perhaps your ordeal was influenced by my fate—one that harms both myself and others... If so, even though you've accepted me, I might still lead you into greater danger."
As Shenhe spoke, she felt a knot of bitter anguish tighten in her heart.
"In truth, I've always struggled to control myself. The Adeptus Clan used the red string soul-binding technique precisely to restrain my murderous aura and savage instincts..."
The more Qin Yu heard, the less she could accept it, and her anger flared anew.
She couldn't help but grab Shenhe's shoulders and shove her to the ground. Shenhe offered no resistance, falling without protest. Even as she lay on the ground, she asked, her voice filled with confusion, "Qin Yu, what's wrong?"
You're asking me what's wrong... Qin Yu's irritation reached its peak. She leaned down and bit Shenhe's neck.
"Mmh..." Shenhe closed her eyes.
Qin Yu snapped out of her daze, a surge of panic flooding her. She had bitten Shenhe without thinking! But I should have controlled my strength... Uwa, I left a mark.
"Does it hurt?"
"No, it doesn't hurt. I just don't understand what this means..."
"It's punishment."
"Punishment?"
Qin Yu's hand gently stroked Shenhe's neck, her anger gradually dissolving into an indescribable mix of emotions.
You're going to break your promise too? Humans' relationships are so fragile after all.
Qin Yu leaned in for another bite, this time a gentle nip. Shenhe wrapped her arms around Qin Yu.
"If I've said something wrong... please tell me."
Still don't get it?
Qin Yu had assumed Shenhe would grasp her meaning, but she didn't.
Then I'll bite you until you do! Half venting her frustration, half acting like a spoiled child, Qin Yu nipped Shenhe several more times.
Evaluation: S
"I'm sorry," Shenhe repeated.
"...Shenhe, you've said multiple times before, 'I hope you'll continue to stay by my side,'" Qin Yu finally spoke.
"Mm."
"But now you're saying you might not be able to stay with me anymore. Don't you think that's... incredibly unfair?"
Shenhe finally understood Qin Yu's meaning, and her heart clenched even tighter.
"I understand, but... my fate is like this—"
"I accepted that long ago, Shenhe. Have you forgotten? I became friends with you regardless of your fate. Why are you dwelling on it now?"
Shenhe knew that these thoughts had only arisen after learning about Qin Yu's past.
Perhaps Qin Yu was right—there was no need to dwell on it. But the reason she did was because their relationship had deepened far beyond friendship.
Something deeper than friendship, better than friendship, yet not quite family—a bond that defied definition.
Understanding Qin Yu's past had sparked these feelings; their deepening bond had created this concern, leading to her inner turmoil.
Qin Yu's voice trembled slightly. "Shenhe... are you lying to me?"
"I'm not lying."
"Then that's all that matters, right? Don't scare me like that," Qin Yu said hoarsely, leaning against Shenhe as if finally relaxing.
"I'm sorry. I just... don't want you to get hurt."
Qin Yu sniffled. "Don't worry."
I'll protect myself. I don't need anyone.
"Shenhe, you just need to..."
Just need to what?
The words were on the tip of her tongue, but Qin Yu couldn't bring herself to say them. Recalling her earlier actions, she felt so embarrassed she wanted to jump into the sea.
Why did I have to be so impatient?
Feeling Shenhe's warmth and breath, Qin Yu dimly realized her true feelings.
But those words remained unspoken.
Qin Yu didn't believe she had the right to demand anything of Shenhe.
There was only one thing she could say.
"...If you just want me to stay by your side, I will. Don't worry about anything else."
Those who lack the right can only be commanded. So all Shenhe needed to do was command her.
Besides, she had approached Shenhe in the first place to become her "good friend." This persona had been created solely for her.
Evaluation: S+
Shenhe replied softly, "I understand."
Really? I won't... No, just this once, I'll trust you a little.
Though only a little.
Qin Yu pulled away from Shenhe's embrace, her face burning like fire. I need to change the subject, she thought, to end this awkward atmosphere.
My hair... is combed. Let's eat!
"Shenhe—"
As Qin Yu turned her head, Shenhe's face filled her vision.
A fleeting, warm softness brushed against her cheek.
Realizing Shenhe had kissed her cheek, Qin Yu was utterly flustered, her face flushed crimson as she stammered, "I-I think I explained what a cheek kiss means, right?"
"I know. I remember it very clearly," Shenhe replied. "There are two meanings: affection and gratitude... I wanted to express both. Thank you for accepting me, and... for being willing to stay by my side. I'm so happy."
Why did you have to express them?! Aaaah, this woman is truly...
Evaluation: SS
Get out of here!!
After the rain stopped, Qin Yu set up a second tent.
Shenhe said she didn't mind sharing a tent, but Qin Yu did—even though her sleeping habits had already been exposed, she still worried she might unconsciously cling to Shenhe again, or even do something else without realizing it.
Besides, she wanted them to return to their usual dynamic, so she chose to sleep alone.
But she didn't sleep as soundly as before that night.
The next morning, perhaps because she'd slept well, Qin Yu woke up earlier than usual.
"Good morning," Shenhe greeted her.
"Morning..." Qin Yu murmured groggily, still half-asleep.
Noticing Qin Yu's disheveled hair, Shenhe pulled out a simple comb from her backpack and began to smooth it out.
"Hmm... huh?"
Qin Yu snapped awake, instantly alert, and flinched away from Shenhe's comb like a startled cat.
"I-I can comb it myself. Thank you," she stammered.
"Alright."
Qin Yu glumly took the comb and retreated into the tent. She emerged shortly after, neatly dressed and ready.
"Breakfast... what do you want to eat?" Qin Yu asked, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers.
"Anything's fine with me."
Just as I thought.
After breakfast, they packed up and retraced their steps. Qin Yu glanced at Shenhe's swinging hand and reached out to take it.
Shenhe looked at Qin Yu, saw her expression was completely natural, and didn't mind the gesture.
"I just remembered something Moon Carver said..." Shenhe murmured.
"Mm?"
"'Fate is decreed by the heavens, but destiny is shaped by one's own actions.' Though my fate may be written thus, our future still depends on us," Shenhe whispered.
Qin Yu smiled.
"Exactly."