The following week, Haruki began drawing JoJo's Bizarre Adventure in earnest. With the story's structure already mapped out, he opened his notebook and started going through the notes he'd made earlier: adjustments he wanted to implement, areas needing more weight, and refinements to the pacing.
One thing was already decided. The art style wasn't going to change.
That bold, muscular, dramatic look was part of JoJo's identity. Stripping it away would mean losing what made it stand out. So he started from the beginning, with the first protagonist: Jonathan Joestar.
Jonathan was a bit of a problem.
Even in the parallel world, Haruki had read from the meta knowledge the system had given to him and the common criticism—Jonathan being labeled the "most boring Joestar." Some fans defended him, but most of the praise seemed tied to nostalgia or polite reluctance to criticize the series. Haruki didn't want to rewrite Jonathan into someone unrecognizable. His nobility, kindness, and quiet loyalty were core to the character.
He flipped through the earlier chapters again, double-checked old review threads, and scanned the margins of his notes. The same points stood out:
Jonathan's development mostly happened off-screen.
The tone changed too suddenly.
The supporting cast lacked presence.
He tapped the pen against the desk. The ideas were all there in his notes, but now it was time to execute them properly.
After finally deciding what to change, Haruki turned to a clean page in his sketchbook and began drafting new panel layouts for Jonathan's introduction.
The first point in his notes was about Jonathan's early behavior.
He had written: "Jonathan does grow, but it happens in the background. Make it visible."
Technically, Jonathan had a personality arc. He started off bratty. He claimed to aspire to be a gentleman, but his actions didn't always reflect that. Like when he fought the bully who stole Erina's doll. After returning it, he told her he didn't do it for her, but because it was the "gentlemanly thing to do." His tone, however, was anything but gentlemanly.
So the growth was there. Jonathan became noble, kind, selfless. But it happened in the background. And when he became perfect, the only thing left for him to do in the whole story was to forgive Dio. That felt unearned.
Haruki's note circled back to that: "Let the audience see his growth, not just the end result."
Next came the tone shift.
The note read:"Genre transition too abrupt. Needs foreshadowing."
In the original, the setting felt like a classic Victorian-era drama at first. Then it suddenly veered into gothic horror with Dio turning into a vampire. Right after that, Hamon was introduced as if a completely different genre had taken over. It was jarring.
Haruki had jotted down a potential fix:"Foreshadow the supernatural early. Light touches. Small details. Make it feel like it's coming."
Just a few subtle hints of supernatural presence earlier on—enough to suggest that this world wasn't purely historical. That way, when Hamon finally appeared, it wouldn't feel like a random genre shift. It would feel like the story had been building toward something strange all along.
The third issue was the supporting cast.
Haruki flipped to the section labeled "Characters" and reread his earlier margin comments:
"Erina is passive. Needs real presence.""Zeppeli–Jonathan relationship: too rushed. No time to land."
He remembered how Erina existed mostly in reaction: silent, restrained, defined by what happened to her. In the original story, she was there, but barely present. She reacted to things but didn't contribute much beyond being Jonathan's love interest. Haruki wanted to give her more presence and actual interaction. Maybe some meaningful conversations with Speedwagon, or a scene where she plays a role in Jonathan's growth.
Same with Zeppeli. His whole relationship with Jonathan felt rushed. The master-disciple bond was more told than shown. So when Zeppeli sacrificed himself and passed on his energy to Jonathan, the moment didn't hit as hard as it could have. It lacked the emotional weight of, say, Kakyoin's death in Part 3, where his bond with the Stardust Crusaders had been fully developed.
He underlined a sentence he'd written and still believed in:"Earn the emotion. Don't rush the bond."
As Haruki started drawing into the draft pages of JoJo...
At Echo Shroud, Amane was on a call when a knock came at her office door. She ended the conversation quickly.
"Come in."
One of her assistants stepped inside, holding a folder."Here's the marketing budget and advertising plan. Please review it and let me know if anything needs to be adjusted."
Amane nodded and took the documents, flipping them open.
As she read through the budget sheets and campaign schedules, her thoughts drifted to Haruki.
He was their best shot at regaining momentum after Initial D and Natsume had both wrapped. It wasn't that Echo Shroud lacked talent. They had plenty of mangaka, including some promising rookies. But promise didn't mean results. And what they needed wasn't more filler. They needed a title that could break into the top three.
Even big names weren't guarantees anymore. Except for Mizushiro. He'd proven himself. With two manga currently at the top of Shroud Line and three new original anime adaptations—each more successful than the last—he was the one exception.
Sure, they could greenlight several new titles and hope one of them stuck. But what about the others? Failed launches still cost money. Promotion, serialization space, reader fatigue. Too many mediocre works in a row would start to damage the brand.
That was why they were holding back.
Echo Shroud had to be strategic. They would choose one series with the highest potential and debut it in their secondary magazine. If it gained traction, then and only then would it move to Shroud Line.
The main magazine had a reputation to uphold. Echo Shroud was still one of the top seven publishers in the country, and Amane wasn't going to be the one to let that slip.
[Note: This chapter was experimental. I received some feedback on it, so this will be a one-time thing. From now on, I'll just provide a summary of what changed instead of writing a full chapter about it.]
[Note: Sorry for the late chapter update. I've been buried in code for the past 10 hours.]
(TL:- if you want even more content, check out p-atreon.com/Alioth23 for 60+ advanced chapters)