Explain?
How was he supposed to explain this?
Yamanaka Shinno couldn't exactly tell Tsunade that he had just been talking nonsense, planning to take advantage of the moment to knock her out in one move.
After all, given the situation at the time, the only reason he could think of for Tsunade to come after him was the rumors floating around the village about him and Kushina.
And he couldn't even refute those rumors—nor did Tsunade look like she was in the mood to hear an explanation.
So, what was he supposed to do? Just sit there and wait for her to demolish his house?
Later, when Shinno heard Kushina mention that Tsunade had come looking for him because she couldn't borrow money from her, he finally realized what was really going on.
Was Tsunade really short on cash?
As one of the Sannin and the strongest medical ninja in the world, if she even hinted that she was broke, let alone borrowing money, there would be people lining up to hand it over to her for free.
But at this stage in her life, she hadn't quite reached the level of complete abandonment seen in the original story.
It was only when she was around family that she dropped all pretense and stopped caring about her image.
So, when she saw Kushina seriously analyzing which loans were acceptable and which weren't—while also trying to convince her to stop gambling—she probably decided to come over and check things out for herself.
This woman... she came to inspect her future brother-in-law!
Shinno's expression nearly cracked. At that moment, he truly wanted to cover his face and flee.
A complete miscalculation!
He had been so focused on preventing this violent woman from destroying his house that he hadn't considered the bigger picture.
If he had known, he would have been a bit more patient and fought a little longer.
Maybe, after testing him out, Tsunade would have joined them for a pleasant dinner?
"Ahaha~ Tsunade~ I heard that Jiraiya-san and Orochimaru-san are back in the village! Why don't we invite them over for dinner tonight?" Kushina quickly latched onto Tsunade's arm and changed the subject when she noticed Shinno's awkward expression.
"Tch~ What's so fun about those two idiots? Your boyfriend's genjutsu is way more interesting."
Tsunade scoffed but allowed Kushina to pull her over to the couch and sit down.
She had figured it out.
Kushina had completely fallen for this guy and couldn't bear to see him suffer even a little.
Hah... women in love… there's no saving them.
"Then, after dinner, I'll show you a little something?" Shinno probed.
Tsunade gave him a look that said, At least you know your place, then patted her flat stomach and shot Kushina a look that clearly said, You handle it.
She had overslept this morning and skipped breakfast. Then, she had been wreaking havoc in Shinno's genjutsu world all afternoon.
Now, the sun was setting, and if she didn't eat soon, she was afraid her chest would shrink from hunger.
"I got it! I got it!"
Shinno quickly got up from the couch and headed toward the kitchen.
This was Kushina's family visiting, after all.
Knocking them out with a genjutsu earlier was one thing since he hadn't known what was happening, but if he didn't even serve dinner now, that would just be rude.
Besides, if Kushina went to cook, he'd have to sit here making awkward small talk with Tsunade.
...
He feared his toes might curl from secondhand embarrassment.
"Tsunade, do you remember the village announcement from a while back?" Kushina asked, watching her boyfriend escape to the kitchen with an amused smile.
"Announcement? Who even pays attention to those?"
"The one about the Uzumaki Clan!"
"Oh, that. And?"
"This time, Shinno and Minato went on a mission together and brought back a girl from the Uzumaki Clan. Her name's Uzumaki Honoka, and she's dating Minato!"
"Wait, what? Why do all you Uzumakis go for blondes?"
"Huh?"
"Huh, what? Do you pick boyfriends just based on looks? I remember..."
The two girls leaned in, whispering to each other in hushed tones.
From the kitchen, Shinno could faintly hear their conversation and nearly rolled his eyes to the heavens.
What did she mean, all go for blondes?
His hair was gold! Gold!
And wasn't she being a little too hasty, calling him out like this?
Come on, sis, we have the same hair color!
"Hmph, whatever. I'll let it slide since you called me handsome."
Shinno grumbled under his breath, deciding to spare his future sister-in-law for now.
He turned back to the fridge, picking out his favorite vegetables and meats for dinner. At the same time, he glanced at the system interface.
He had received three lottery draws earlier and hadn't used them yet.
"System, roll the dice!"
[Congratulations! You have obtained: Blue-tier trait 'Nine Babies in One Birth,' Gray-tier trait 'Nothing to His Name,' and White-tier trait 'Expired Milk.']
Nine Babies in One Birth (Blue): Innate Pregnancy Holy Body. Increases pregnancy probability, slightly boosts chances of twins, triplets, quadruplets... up to nonuplets. Enhances postpartum recovery speed and chances of future pregnancies.
Nothing to His Name (Gray): A poor soul cursed by misfortune. No matter how hard he tries to change fate, his most important part will gradually shrink to below five centimeters. Probability of partner dissatisfaction, breakups, and divorce drastically increases. Self-esteem plummets.
Expired Milk (White): When performing medical ninjutsu, unpredictable and subtle mutations occur. Slightly improves control and effectiveness of healing jutsu but may cause minor, short-term side effects in the patient.
One blue, one gray, one white…
Shinno pursed his lips and instinctively glanced toward the living room, where Kushina and Tsunade were still whispering.
Wasn't it a little too soon to be thinking about babies when he had just started dating Kushina?
And one or two was fine…
But nine at once?!
Changing diapers, feeding, putting them to sleep—could the two of them even handle that?
Was this trait a blessing or a curse?
Childbirth was already dangerous. Even with a C-section, having nine at once was insane!
And even if the birth went smoothly…
Nine babies crying at the same time… Oh, hell no.
Shinno shuddered at the thought. This trait might as well be a black-tier curse!
Then there was Nothing to His Name.
At first glance, he thought it just meant he'd be poor.
But…
It was way worse than that!
And it specifically said that no amount of effort could change the outcome—not even Orochimaru's body modification jutsu could fix it?!
Shinno glanced downward and let out a silent sigh of relief.
Good thing I'm already well-endowed.
As for Expired Milk…
Would medical ninjas even consider that a good thing?
"...Did I forget to wash my hands? Or have I just been racking up too much bad karma lately?"
Shinno glanced at his hands, which were busy washing vegetables, and quickly dismissed the thought.
No, this wasn't his fault.
It was definitely the system's fault!
System: Can someone please defend me here?!
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