Batman: "...What lucky day?"
Max's cryptic, out-of-nowhere comment left Batman completely baffled—but what was even more confusing was this creature standing before him.
"You... what kind of being are you?"
Batman's brain felt like it had hit a blue screen. His worldview just got deconstructed and rebuilt on the spot.
People turning into beasts? Sure, he's seen that. But turning into this... crystalline, magical beast thing? That was new even for him.
This thing looked like something out of a fantasy novel—a glittering monster made entirely of crystal, the kind you'd expect to guard an ancient cave full of treasure. It was way too abstract. Hard to even accept it was alive.
"It's called the Shennong Beast! With world-class healing abilities! As long as someone's not dead, I can bring them back! When Alfred gets here, I can help him recover, tune up his body to peak performance!"
The Shennong Beast tilted its head proudly, wearing a smug "yeah, I'm that awesome" expression.
To be fair, Batman was quick on the uptake. After mentally digesting the whole Omnitrix-transformation thing, he was already thinking about how to use it.
"Is that so? How are its detox capabilities?"
The crystal-faced creature scoffed. "Who do you think you're talking to? Hmph! No matter the poison or disease—if you're not completely dead, I can cure it!"
Batman nodded, clearly intrigued. "Good. Come with me."
"Go where?"
Batman didn't answer. He stripped off his heavy gear and headed for the helipad.
The Shennong Beast followed him and boarded the Batplane together.
…
Flying the Batplane through the night, Batman brought the Shennong Beast to Gotham General Hospital—the city's largest and best-equipped medical center.
Sure, Gotham had plenty of underground "experts," but most folks still preferred the official hospital. At least here, you didn't have to worry about missing a kidney after treatment. (The "experts" were mostly black-market surgeons—great with a scalpel thanks to... excessive practice. Especially at harvesting kidneys.)
The Shennong Beast perched by the window, watching the city roll by. Then it turned to Batman. "You want me to treat everyone in the hospital?"
Batman nodded. "Gotham was hit with a massive Joker toxin attack. Some people laughed themselves into unconsciousness. The frailer ones even passed out from oxygen deprivation.
I used a counter-agent gas to keep them from suffocating—but it triggered heart attacks in a lot of them. Can you fix that?"
"No problem! That's kiddie stuff! With the Shennong Staff, it's harder not to save someone!"
As they neared the hospital, the Shennong Beast suddenly lit up with a dazzling green glow.
"Transform—Shennong Staff!"
In the reflection of Batman's sunglasses, he watched the green crystal beast morph—via totally unscientific methods—into a two-meter-long… lime-green hockey stick.
It floated midair, glowing faintly. The hourglass symbol of the Omnitrix appeared at the base of the handle, pulsing with light.
Bathed in the green glow, Batman felt a gentle warmth, then a slight itch, as old internal injuries began rapidly healing.
The old, nagging pains from lingering injuries? Gone.
"...Remarkable," Batman murmured.
"Batman? What are you doing here?"
A patient in bed #3 asked, puzzled.
The ICU had 24 beds, all occupied. Everyone was hooked up to life-support systems—one wrong move, and they were gone.
Some patients were asleep, but others were lucid enough to chat. When they saw Batman walk in, the chatter shifted.
"Cough cough... Thank you, Batman. Without you, I'd be dead. Though honestly, I almost wish I was. This is hell."
"Yeah, you saved the city again, Dark Knight of Gotham," groaned another patient, his body covered in bandages.
Batman paused, gathered his thoughts, and spoke:
"I have… an unorthodox treatment method that might heal you. Want to try it?"
The first man chuckled. "Why not? You already saved my life. Worst case, I'm already half a corpse."
"Alright. It might tickle a bit."
Batman raised the Shennong Staff. Green light exploded outward.
The ICU filled with a soft, healing radiance.
Patients who were unconscious began to stir. The awake ones cried out with pleasure:
"Ahhhh~~!"
Weird moans echoed for a solid three minutes before the green glow faded back into the staff.
Batman, satisfied, turned to leave.
But voices shouted behind him, desperate: "Wait! WAIT! Batman—can I buy that stick?! I'll give you everything I own!!"
The speaker's eyes were filled with greed and desperation. His revived body made him feel invincible. He was hooked.
One man begged, and soon the rest joined in. One after another, they offered everything—money, property, their entire lives—just to own that green stick.
This was the ICU, after all—the battleground between life and death. These patients had tasted death... and now, healing. Nothing was more precious to them.
And that hockey stick? It was a miracle.
Batman didn't even slow down.
"Not for sale," he said coolly, heading to the next ward, ignoring the desperate cries.
He moved swiftly—each room took no more than two minutes.
Within fifteen minutes, every patient in the hospital was cured.
Late-stage cancer. AIDS. Alzheimer's. Parkinson's. Muscular atrophy. All gone.
It was as if God himself had descended in the form of Batman.
After finishing the last patient, Batman didn't stick around to chat. He jumped into the Batplane and took off.
Next stop—Gotham Second General Hospital, already overflowing with wounded citizens.
While using the Shennong Staff, Batman had called Commissioner Gordon to organize and transport all critical patients there.
Back aboard the Batplane, Max (now back in Shennong Beast form) grumbled, "Looks like you're gonna be pretty busy."
Batman nodded. "Yeah. Joker gas hit too many people. And you said your transformations are time-limited. We need to move fast."
"No, you don't get it."
The Shennong Beast gave Batman a strange look. Was this rich guy really that dense? Did he not feel the killing intent from earlier?
"That's not the main problem. The real problem is—you're now a target.
I just displayed powers that every wealthy person dreams of. And as far as the public is concerned… you hold that power.
They'll do anything for it. Things are about to get messy."
Batman fell silent, then replied:
"You're right. But I thought of that the moment I brought you out. Batman may have issues… but Bruce Wayne knows how to clean them up."
The Shennong Beast rolled its eyes. This tsundere caped crusader just pulled the classic "my friend can help" move.
"Emmm... sure. My healing might be godlike, but even I can't cure split personalities."
Batman:
(internal sigh)
He admired the lighter, rejuvenated feeling in his body.
And then… things got even weirder.
The hockey stick talked. No mouth. No vocal cords. Still—it talked.
"The Shennong Staff passively emits healing light—but I can't move. Take me with you. As long as they're exposed to my light, they'll recover quickly!"
"Got it."
Batman gripped the handle, leapt from the aircraft, his cape turning into glider wings. A black silhouette streaked through the sky—straight into the hospital.
His dramatic entrance caught everyone's attention. Two-thirds of the people here were those he had saved. They turned to watch.
Not that they were grateful per se—they were just curious what he was up to now.
GCPD officers on duty ran up to meet him.
Batman: "Where are the patients with life-threatening conditions?"
Chubby Cop: "Emergency room and surgery wing. What are you planning, Batman?"
Batman: "Healing. I've brought the ultimate cure."
"Oh! That's fantastic! Thank you, Batman!"
Now that he knew where to go, Batman strode off.
People naturally stepped aside for him.
Some feared him. Kids? They stared in awe. They were less impressed by the black suit and more intrigued by… the giant green hockey stick.
Its bright color clashed absurdly with Batman's grim aesthetic.
Conversations sparked.
Bystander A: "Hey, what is that green thing? Looks familiar..."
Bystander B: "Duh, it's a hockey stick. Never seen one? Though I admit, neon green is... unusual."
Bystander C: "Huh. Didn't think Batman was into sports. Carrying gear everywhere?"
Bystander B: "Who does that?! Even he's not that obsessed!"
Bystander C, annoyed: "Say 'idiot' again and I'll shoot you right here!"
Bystander B, smirking: "Go ahead! Shoot me! If the docs bring me back, you gotta admit your aim sucks!"
Bystander C: "RAAAH!"
They lunged at each other, brawling in the hallway. GCPD rushed in to break it up.
Batman ignored the chaos and walked past three corridors to reach the ICU.
He wasn't stupid enough to just barge into emergency and surgery rooms—that'd cause conflict with the hospital staff.
Instead, he'd treat the critical patients first.
Once they saw the results, the doctors would beg him to help.
Click—Creeeeak—
The ICU door opened.
Everyone inside turned their eyes toward the caped man with the glowing green staff…