The moment we entered Irminsul, my brain went blank for a second. Everything was white and glowing and way too sparkly for my eyes. If peace and confusion had a baby, it would look like this place.
"Wow," Paimon whispered, twirling in midair. "So this is the inside of Irminsul!"
I blinked rapidly, rubbing my eyes. "Wow indeed. I can feel my retinas begging for mercy."
Greg squinted, his tongue flicking out once, clearly unimpressed. I could practically hear him saying, you've seen weirder, stop being dramatic.
"Look, I'm sorry for having human eyeballs!" I hissed quietly. "Not everyone's got built-in sunglasses, lizard man."
Lumine's eyes darted around, calm but curious. "It's... different than what I imagined."
"Different?" I said, spinning in a slow circle. "This looks like someone dumped all of Teyvat's Wi-Fi into one tree."
Greg flicked his tail against my neck, probably saying stop embarrassing yourself.
Nilou's eyes widened as she looked around in awe. "It feels... pure. Like the world's heart is beating right here."
"Yeah," I said, grinning. "Except the world's heart also gives me motion sickness."
"Paimon's never seen anything like this!" Paimon gasped. "It feels... sacred."
Scaramouche crossed his arms, his usual scowl in place. "Irminsul is closely intertwined with the entirety of Teyvat. Every bit of information flowing here means something."
I nodded wisely. "Yep. All the world's gossip stored in one glowing motherboard. Totally sacred."
He gave me a look that said you are the reason peace is impossible.
"Pick your jaws up off the floor," he said. "It's time to go."
"Wow," I muttered. "Guy's allergic to good vibes."
Paimon puffed her cheeks. "Why is it that Paimon just wants to do the opposite of everything he says?"
"Because he's punchable," I said without hesitation.
Scaramouche froze mid-step. "...What did you just say?"
"Nothing~," I sang.
Greg looked between us, his little head turning left and right, like a referee waiting for someone to throw a punch.
Nahida floated between us before things could get violent. "Lesser Lord Kusanali, we will now proceed to the heart of Irminsul," Scaramouche announced stiffly.
Nahida smiled gently. "Can you still sense where the heart of Irminsul is?"
"Yes," he replied. "Permission to begin searching for information there?"
"Permission granted. Go ahead."
Scaramouche turned and gestured forward. "Let's go. Stay close, don't go running off."
Paimon tilted her head. "Hey, so... say we did go running off in here. What would happen?"
Scaramouche's lips curled slightly. He didn't even need to answer. The smugness said enough.
Paimon flinched. "Wh–What are you smirking at?"
"I was just imagining the look on your travel companions' face if you went and got lost," he said.
I crossed my arms and stepped beside Lumine. "Correction. The safest option is staying as far from you as possible."
Greg flicked his tail sharply, agreeing.
Nilou let out a soft sigh, her voice calm but firm. "You two, please behave. This is Irminsul, not a tavern brawl."
"Sorry, Goddess," I said, straightening up. "But he started it."
Scaramouche smirked. "I can finish it too."
Lumine stepped between us, giving both of us her terrifying glare. "Don't even think about it. We're not fighting inside a divine data tree."
I lifted my hands in surrender. "Fine, fine. No divine brawling. For now."
Nahida chuckled softly. "I'd prefer if we made it through without any... interruptions."
Nilou giggled. "You two remind me of children fighting over candy."
"Excuse me," I said, pointing at Scaramouche. "He's the candy thief."
Paimon floated near my head. "No, you're the chaos candy."
I blinked. "That sounds like a compliment."
Greg tail-slapped me again.
Nahida's gentle voice echoed as she floated forward, touching one of the glowing branches. "Irminsul holds every memory, every secret... every truth. What you see here may not always make sense, but it is real."
"Sounds like my life story," I said. "Does it also store every embarrassing thing I've ever done? Because if so, we're burning it after this."
Lumine smirked. "Too late. The data's probably infinite by now."
Nilou covered her mouth, trying not to laugh. "That means your memories are forever part of the world."
"Yay," I said flatly. "My idiocy is now immortal."
As we walked deeper, the light grew brighter, almost overwhelming. The data streams shimmered like water running backward, and I could feel information brushing against my mind—visions of cities, faces, stories.
"Whoa," I whispered. "This is... actually kinda cool."
Paimon floated beside me, wide-eyed. "It's like... everything that's ever happened is alive here."
Scaramouche didn't look back, but his tone softened, just slightly. "That's because it is. Everything that's ever existed in Teyvat leaves a mark here."
I blinked. "Huh. Deep. Didn't think you had that in you, Hat Guy."
He sighed. "I regret saying anything."
Greg flicked his tail again, amused.
Nahida's voice echoed ahead. "Focus. The heart of Irminsul is near. Be careful—this place reacts to emotion."
"Oh great," I muttered. "That means if Blondie gets mad, the tree might explode."
Lumine gave me a deadly side glance. "Keep talking, and I'll test that theory."
Nilou laughed softly. "Let's just enjoy the moment. It's beautiful here."
"Yeah," I said, smiling. "Beautiful, sparkly, and definitely not the place I'll die in. Probably."
Greg tilted his head as if saying don't jinx it.
"Relax," I whispered to him. "I'm too charming to die. The universe wouldn't dare."
Greg responded with a slow blink and then flicked his tail right across my face.
"Okay, okay! Fine, maybe fifty percent charming."
Paimon snorted mid-flight, almost choking on laughter. Lumine sighed again but smiled softly.
Nahida floated ahead, her tiny voice gentle yet firm. "Let's move forward. The heart is calling."
I grinned. "Then let's go answer it—preferably before Hat Guy declares himself king of the data tree."
Scaramouche groaned audibly. "You just had to say that, didn't you?"
"Of course," I said. "It's called personality."
Greg tilted his head again. Annoying personality, probably.
And so, with a deep breath and way too much optimism, I followed them deeper into Irminsul, ready to face whatever chaos—or enlightenment—awaited next.
***
The deeper we walked into Irminsul, the quieter everything became. The lights dimmed into soft pulses of blue and green, like the world's heartbeat echoing beneath our feet. Even I had to admit—it was kind of breathtaking. Kind of. Like, if beauty and a migraine shook hands.
Then a familiar realization bonked me on the head like a Hilichurl club. "Huh... right. This part," I muttered under my breath. "Hat Guy's about to get his emotional DLC unlocked."
Greg flicked his tail, the universal sign for please, for once, don't ruin this.
"Nah," I whispered. "Not this time. He needs this. I'll just... commentate quietly."
My quiet lasted exactly ten seconds.
—
Paimon floated ahead, eyes wide as she examined the floating sapling-like lights dotting the path. "These sapling things have spread out everywhere! The fragments have dissipated, and the space looks... weird."
Scaramouche folded his arms, tone clipped and annoyingly confident. "Those are packets of information from inside Irminsul. Be careful not to touch them."
"Packets?" I crouched down near one suspiciously glowing orb. "So you're telling me the world tree runs on Wi-Fi and has pop-up ads? What happens if I click one?"
Greg slapped his tail against my hand before I could find out.
"Okay, okay! No clicking the cosmic malware. Got it."
Lumine scanned the surroundings. "The location's changed again. Looks like we've been transported to another path."
Nilou's eyes glimmered in awe. "Everything feels so mysterious... dreamy, even."
"Yeah," I muttered as I stared down yet another identical corridor of glowing branches, "a dream with terrible map design. Can't these divine trees put down signs or something?"
Paimon groaned loudly. "No wonder he said we could get lost in here! He was actually telling the truth for once!"
Scaramouche smirked faintly. "Hehe."
Paimon recoiled. "Is he mocking Paimon AGAIN!? What is it this time!?"
"There's a time and place to lie," he said calmly, "but this isn't one of them. Relax your guard."
"Oh, so NOW he's Mr. Responsible?" I crossed my arms. "Translation: even jerks can be honest when it's convenient."
Nilou gave me a gentle but pointed look. "...Shigeru."
"Sorry, sorry! I'm done. Probably."
Greg flicked his tail again, meaning no you're not.
I ignored him.
—
We reached an enormous clearing—a vast tree rising like a glowing mountain, its branches pulsing with memory and light. The sight hit me so hard I forgot to breathe.
Even my mouth needed a second to reboot.
Paimon gasped loudly. "What a HUGE tree..."
Lumine's voice softened, reverent. "This is the center of Irminsul. Every bit of information in the world flows through it."
Scaramouche nodded stiffly. "Lesser Lord Kusanali."
Nahida's voice echoed through the chamber. "Good, you've made it. Are you ready?"
Scaramouche inhaled slowly. "...Ready when you are."
"Then please begin. Preparing to access cognitive currents. Establishing waypoint..."
Paimon floated to my shoulder level, whispering loudly, "He's actually listening! Guess he DOES value staying alive!"
I shrugged. "Hat Guy's edgy, not stupid."
Lumine watched him closely. "He hasn't resisted at all. Maybe he had a similar role in the Fatui—dealing with sensitive information."
Nilou smiled warmly. "Even those who seem distant can have important purposes."
Greg flicked his tail toward her, agreeing immediately.
"Traitor," I whispered.
Nahida's tone grew firm, but gentle. "The rest is up to you. If you discover anything, please share it with us."
"For once," Paimon sighed, arms limp, "we've got nothing to do."
Nahida's voice echoed inside our minds. "Lumine, Nilou, Shigeru, Paimon—would you like to talk?"
Lumine stiffened. "Nahida? Is this... telepathy?"
"Yes," Nahida replied warmly. "I've also invited Paimon, Shigeru, and Nilou to join."
Paimon gasped so loudly she echoed. "WE CAN TALK WITH OUR MINDS!? THIS IS AMAZING!! Can Paimon yell mentally??"
"Please don't," Lumine and I said at the same time.
Paimon mentally pouted.
Lumine crossed her arms mentally. "I'm guessing this is so we don't disturb Scaramouche."
"That's part of it," Nahida said. "But mostly, I thought it would be nice. We are all friends, after all."
Nilou giggled. "It feels warm... like our hearts are connected."
Paimon flailed midair. "Paimon's been wondering—don't you think Hat Guy is a walking contradiction? He talks back every second, but he actually listens to Nahida!"
Lumine nodded. "Yes. He's unexpectedly obedient when it matters."
"I wouldn't call it obedience," I said. "More like... edgy cooperation."
Nahida's laughter echoed like bells. "There are many mysteries he must face today. Answers he's sought for a very long time."
Lumine lowered her gaze. "...His past. The betrayals. Inazuma."
"Well said," Nahida replied. "Your insight is impressive, Lumine."
Nilou turned to me gently. "You're quiet, Shigeru."
I shrugged. "This is his moment. Sometimes... the only way to fix something broken is to let it remember why it cracked."
There was a long silence.
Paimon whispered, "Wow... that was actually deep."
I grinned. "Yeah, sometimes my brain turns on."
Greg flicked me with his tail. Don't ruin it.
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT," I whispered mentally.
—
We watched silently as Scaramouche approached the center tree. The air hummed, data swirling around him like memories waking up after centuries.
For once... I didn't joke.
Not because I had nothing to say.
But because sometimes—just sometimes—silence was the loudest way to say you understood.
Greg curled slightly against my neck, quiet too.
Lumine stood calm but tense.
Nilou clasped her hands, hopeful.
Paimon hovered closely, unusually soft.
And as the glowing currents coiled tighter around Scaramouche, I exhaled.
"...Here we go."
Chaos or healing—whatever came next...
He had to face it.
***
The deeper we walked into Irminsul, the quieter everything became. The lights dimmed into soft pulses of blue and green, like the heartbeat of the world itself. Even I had to admit—it was kind of breathtaking. Kind of.
Then a familiar thought hit me. "Huh... right. This part." I muttered under my breath, remembering fragments of what was about to happen. "Guess Hat Guy's about to get his therapy session."
Greg flicked his tail, as if asking if I'd ruin it. "Nah," I whispered. "Not this time. He needs this. I'll just... commentate quietly."
"Quietly" lasted ten seconds.
Paimon floated ahead, blinking at the glowing saplings dotting the path. "These sapling things have spread out everywhere! The fragments have dissipated, and the space looks... weird."
Scaramouche folded his arms, voice clipped. "Those are packets of information from inside Irminsul. Be careful not to touch them."
"Packets?" I asked, crouching down near one. "So you're telling me this tree runs on Wi-Fi and has pop-ups? What happens if I click one?"
Greg slapped his tail against my hand before I could find out.
"Okay, okay, no clicking. Got it."
Lumine looked around. "The location's changed. Looks like we've been transported to another path."
Nilou's eyes sparkled. "It's so mysterious... like we're walking inside a dream."
"Yeah, a dream with really bad navigation," I muttered as another path split into three more. "Everything looks the same."
Paimon groaned. "No wonder he said we could get lost in here. He was actually telling the truth for once."
Scaramouche smirked faintly. "Hehe."
Paimon's wings flared. "Is he mocking me again!? What is it this time!?"
"There's a time and place to lie," he said calmly, "but this isn't one of them. Relax your guard."
I crossed my arms. "Translation: even the jerk can be honest when it's convenient."
Nilou sighed. "Shigeru..."
"Sorry, sorry! I'm done. Probably."
We finally reached an enormous clearing—a vast tree at the center, its branches pulsing with energy. Even I had to shut up for a moment.
Paimon gasped. "What a huge tree..."
Lumine's voice softened. "This is the center of Irminsul. All the information in the world flows through it."
Scaramouche nodded slightly. "Lesser Lord Kusanali."
Nahida's voice filled the chamber. "Good, you made it. Are you ready?"
"Ready when you are," he replied.
"Then please begin. Preparing to access cognitive currents. Establishing waypoint..."
Paimon tilted her head. "He's actually listening to her. Guess he must want to stay alive."
Lumine glanced toward him. "He hasn't resisted at all. Maybe he had a similar role in the Fatui—working on the front lines."
Nilou smiled softly. "Even someone who looks distant can have purpose."
Greg made a small flick with his tail, like he agreed with Nilou more than anyone else here.
Nahida's tone turned gentle but firm. "The rest is up to you. If you discover anything, share it with us."
"Will do," Scaramouche said.
Paimon sighed dramatically. "For once, we've got nothing to do."
Nahida's voice echoed telepathically. "Lumine, Nilou, Shigeru, Paimon—would you like to talk?"
Lumine blinked. "Nahida? ...Is this telepathy?"
"Yes," Nahida replied, her voice calm and warm. "I've also invited Paimon, Shigeru, and Nilou to join."
Paimon gasped. "Whoa! We can talk inside our heads now!? This is awesome!"
Lumine crossed her arms mentally. "I'm guessing you don't want us disturbing Scaramouche."
"That's part of it," Nahida said, a smile in her voice. "Plus, we're all friends. There's no harm in chatting like this once in a while."
Nilou giggled. "It feels... peaceful. Like our hearts are connected."
Paimon spun in excitement. "Paimon's been meaning to ask! Don't you think Hat Guy's kind of a walking contradiction? He's always talking back, but he actually listens to what Nahida says."
Lumine nodded slightly. "Yes, and he's strangely good at following orders when it matters."
Nahida's tone softened further. "There are still mysteries for him to resolve—things clear to me, but hidden from him. Perhaps today, he'll find some answers."
Lumine's eyes lowered. "It's about his past, isn't it? The betrayals, the pain in Inazuma..."
"Well done," Nahida said. "As sharp as ever."
Nilou looked to me with curiosity. "You're quiet, Shigeru."
I shrugged. "This is his moment. Hat Guy needs to face this himself. Sometimes the only way to fix something broken... is to let it remember why it cracked in the first place."
Paimon blinked. "Wow... that was actually deep."
I grinned. "Yeah, I have those moments. Rarely, but they happen."
Greg flicked his tail lightly against my cheek, as if saying don't ruin it.
I chuckled quietly. "Fine, fine. I'll behave."
So we watched quietly as Scaramouche stepped closer to the glowing tree. The air hummed around us, data streams twisting like memories reborn. And even for an idiot like me, it was hard not to feel something stir.
For once, I stayed silent—not because I had nothing to say, but because sometimes... silence said everything.
I braced myself, because I knew exactly what was coming next. I whispered to Greg, "Prepare yourself, buddy. Hat Guy's about to get the emotional equivalent of being thrown off a cliff." Greg flicked his tail once—solemn agreement.
The telepathic link between the four of us settled again, soft and steady.
Lumine took a slow breath. "Nahida... earlier, when I was at Pardis Dhyai with Haypasia, I saw pieces of him. His memories. His pain."
Nilou nodded, voice gentle. "There was so much sorrow. It felt like... like he was trying so hard to understand why he was abandoned."
Nahida's voice echoed warmly in our minds. "So you made contact with that part of his mind. Yes... betrayal shaped him into who he is today."
Paimon gasped mentally. "Wait—Paimon thought nothing could get under that guy's skin! But he can get hurt and angry just like anyone else?"
"Everyone has a history, Paimon," Nahida replied. "Even a puppet created by the Electro Archon."
I nodded, arms crossed. "Yeah. People forget puppets don't come with emotion settings installed. They... pick them up. The hard way."
Greg nudged my neck with his snout—like he knew I was talking a little too personally.
Paimon piped up again. "Speaking of puppets, we heard some Akademiya students talking today! They were writing some big essay about Tatarasuna! And something about a 'kabukimono'..."
"Oh?" Nahida responded. "If you mean the mysterious events and the kabukimono... yes, I know of them."
Paimon huffed. "They said most of Tatarasuna's history is just guesswork now! People filling in the gaps!"
Lumine added, "They were trying to piece together the past through rumors and fragments..."
"Ah," Nahida said thoughtfully. "So Aqaba and Sawada were working on that story. How interesting. They deduced quite a lot through guesswork alone."
Paimon gasped loudly through the link. "So the guessay was right!?"
Nahida giggled. "They guessed correctly about one thing: Tatarasuna was sabotaged."
Before any of us could respond, Scaramouche's voice cut in sharply.
"Must be a riveting conversation you three are having," he said. "Funny how all the good ones happen when I'm not involved."
Paimon nearly spun in circles. "Ah! Wh-What makes you think we're talking to each other!?"
He gave her a flat look. "Don't insult me. You're obviously having a private conversation without me. And clearly, I must be the topic."
I muttered under my breath, "He's not wrong, actually."
Greg slapped my cheek with his tail. Rude, but fair.
Lumine sighed softly. "We have every right to keep some things confidential."
"Of course you do," Scaramouche replied. "Can't have your prisoner knowing too much."
Paimon cleared her throat. "S-So! Uh... found anything yet?"
Scaramouche closed his eyes. "Still looking. Don't get your hopes up. You and your twin come from outside this world. It wouldn't surprise me if Irminsul has nothing on either of you."
Paimon froze. "Wait—how did you know that!? Did Nahida tell you!?"
He scoffed lightly. "It's not like we've never met before. Besides—you two are world-famous. It'd be more surprising if I didn't know."
Lumine stared at him, expression unreadable. "Every conversation with you is hard work..."
"But your attitude is better than expected," she admitted.
Scaramouche gave a small exhale. "Right now, we need peace. I'm not interested in creating more misery for myself, and cordial conversation is... manageable."
Then he paused.
"...Huh?"
Paimon blinked. "What is it now? This light... it looks like those saplings! What could it be?"
"...Anonymous data," Scaramouche muttered.
Paimon wagged her finger. "Hey! Don't you forget the deal—you have to share everything with us!"
I let out the longest sigh of the day. "Here it comes," I muttered. "Time for the trauma dump arc."
Greg flicked his tail sharply—as if bracing for an emotional earthquake.
Nilou placed her hands together gently. "Whatever it is... we'll listen."
Lumine nodded beside her. "Yes. He needs this."
And I grinned, just a little. "Go on, Hat Guy. We're right here. Show us what broke you."
The light from Irminsul pulsed, bright and sharp.
We all leaned forward.
And Scaramouche stepped into the memory that would change everything.
___________________
End of Chapter 162
Quests Completed:*Enter Irminsul without blinking until your retinas file a formal complaint.*Restrain yourself from initiating a duel with Scaramouche in a sacred data-tree. Barely.*Resist the cosmic pop-up temptations (do not click the glowing packets). Fail once, panic, recover.*Join Nahida's telepathic circle and accidentally hear everyone's inner snacks. Maintain composure.*Stand solemnly while Scaramouche walks into his memory and do not provide running commentary.*Provide moral support (silent, awkward, and sincere) while Hat Guy unwraps his emotional DLC.*Let Greg deliver continuous tail-slap judgment to keep your ego in check. He did not disappoint.*Navigate Irminsul's maze-like branches without getting hopelessly lost (map: 0, stubbornness: 1).*Collect one memory shard for Nahida's research without tripping over cosmic saplings.*Survive the moment when telepathy reveals Paimon's desire to yell mentally. You live to complain about it.
Rewards:*Primogems: +120 (probably borrowed from Sumeru's "research budget").*Friendship EXP +120 with Nahida & Sumeru crew, +80 with Scaramouche (awkward but warming), +60 with Paimon (for extreme restraint).*Item: Irminsul Memory Shard ×1 — glows softly; useful for lore, study, or dramatic reenactments.*Buff: Steady Heart — +20% resistance to emotional overload for 12 in-game hours.*Greg EXP +12 (new passive: "Judgmental Aura" — slightly improves party morale by scathing looks).*x1 Witness to Memory Badge — (Grants minor empathy.)*x3 Sapling Markers — small charms to mark safe paths inside Irminsul (collectible).*x1 Nahida's Whisper — one-use item: grants a gentle telepathic calm in a high-tension scene.*x1 Scaramouche Fragment (Research Item) — valuable to scholars; heavy with meaning; handle gently.*+1 Paimon Patience (Rare) — Paimon's roast cooldown increased by 5 seconds for next 24 hours.*+2 Greg Respect (Rare) — he snorts instead of facepalming; a step forward.*+10 Lore Points — unlocks a new tidbit about Irminsul and the Loom of Fate.*+5 Bro Points with Lumine — she notices your silent support and gives a tiny, begrudging smile.