Although Ellie wanted to pretend nothing had happened, avoiding Cloud didn't make her feelings disappear.
Since she felt like she was caught in an emotional storm, she didn't know whether she was more angry at Cloud, at Astrid, or at herself. Even though she had spent months trying to move on, she realized that she wasn't as far along as she had believed.
Because Cloud's feelings for Astrid had forced her to confront a truth she had been avoiding she was still in love with her ex.
When Tisha found Ellie sitting alone on the bleachers after school, she didn't need to ask what was wrong.
"You good?" Tisha asked, even though they both knew the answer.
Ellie let out a dry laugh. "No. Not even close."
Although Tisha didn't say anything at first, she eventually nudged Ellie's shoulder. "Wanna talk about it?"
Ellie hesitated before sighing. "I just feel like an idiot," she admitted.
"Why?" Tisha asked.
"Because I thought I was okay," Ellie muttered. "I thought I had moved on. But the second I hear someone else likes Astrid, I fall apart."
Even though Tisha was silent for a moment, she eventually said, "Maybe that just means you're not ready to let her go."
Even though Ellie wanted to argue, she knew her friend was right.
But if she wasn't ready now… when would she be?
A cold breeze passed through the field, making Ellie tug her jacket tighter around her. Her eyes followed the fading pink of the sunset, but her mind was a mess of memories and questions.
"I hate this," she whispered.
"Hate what?"
"This… feeling. I hate that I still care," she admitted, voice shaking. "I hate that Cloud of all people is the one who made me realize it."
Tisha stayed quiet, giving her space.
"I thought I could just bury it. Pretend I was fine. Smile, laugh, hang out with everyone… But when I saw Cloud looking at Astrid the way I used to? It felt like something inside me broke."
Tisha nodded slowly. "Because it mattered to you. She mattered to you."
Ellie swallowed hard. "She still does."
"Then maybe it's okay that it hurts. Maybe it's okay that you're not ready."
"But I'm tired of hurting," Ellie said, finally turning to face Tisha. Her eyes were glassy, but no tears fell. "I don't want to be stuck in this place forever."
Tisha gave a faint smile. "You won't be. But healing isn't clean, Ellie. Sometimes you'll feel okay. Other times it'll hit you like a train."
Ellie blinked. "Is this the part where you give me wise advice like a grandma?"
Tisha laughed softly. "Nah. I'm just here so you don't sit in silence and pretend you're fine when you're clearly not."
Before Tisha could finish her words Kyla appeared with a flirty smirk
"Hey Ellie where have you been I've been searching for you," Kyla walk closer towards Ellie
"Speaking of the devil,I think i should go good luck Ellie,"
Kyla and Ellie sat in silence for a moment longer, the sky dimming above them. Ellie leaned into the warmth of Kyla's presence, allowing herself just for tonight not to be okay.
But deep down, something was changing.
She knew she couldn't avoid Cloud forever.
And sooner or later, she'd have to face Astrid, too.
But for now she realised that she don't have to think something like that.
In that moment she noticed that her heart skips a beat and the time had stopped,as if there was a missing piece in her that she can only find when she's with Kyla.
Ellie was still confused and loosing faith for love....
For now,
Ellie stayed still, her shoulder brushing Kyla's as they sat side by side on the bleachers. The sun had dipped below the horizon, leaving streaks of soft purple and gold in its wake, and the air smelled faintly of grass and nightfall. Kyla didn't say anything right away, and Ellie was grateful for that. Sometimes, silence was the only language she could understand.
"I didn't mean to interrupt," Kyla finally said, her voice light but a little cautious.
"You didn't," Ellie replied quickly. She glanced at her, her lips tugging into a small, tired smile. "Tisha was just… being Tisha."
Kyla grinned. "She's got your back."
"She does," Ellie murmured, looking away again. "Always."
The silence stretched again, but it wasn't heavy this time. Just thoughtful. Like the world was giving Ellie space to breathe.
Kyla leaned back, stretching her arms out behind her and tilting her head toward the sky. "It's pretty tonight."
Ellie followed her gaze. "Yeah. It is."
Another pause. Then Kyla asked, softly, "Wanna talk about it?"
Ellie almost laughed. Everyone kept asking her that lately. And every time, it felt harder to say no. Maybe because pretending she was fine was finally becoming more exhausting than just telling the truth.
"It's stupid," she said, her voice barely audible.
"I doubt that."
Ellie sighed, resting her elbows on her knees and burying her face in her hands. "I thought I was past it. I really did. I thought I'd buried everything I felt for Astrid and moved on. But then Cloud said he liked her, and suddenly it all came rushing back. All the stuff I thought I left behind."
Kyla didn't respond right away. She just nodded, waiting.
"I feel pathetic," Ellie whispered. "Like… it's been months. And I still can't shake her."
Kyla tilted her head toward her. "You're not pathetic. You loved her. That doesn't just go away because time passes."
Ellie blinked, the words cutting deeper than she expected.
Love.
She hadn't let herself say it aloud in so long. Maybe because saying it made it real again. Made the loss sharper.
"I hate that I'm still stuck," Ellie admitted, her voice cracking. "I hate that Astrid's moved on, that Cloud has a crush, that everyone's figuring their lives out, and I'm still here. Crying over someone who probably doesn't even think about me anymore."
Kyla didn't try to fix it. She didn't tell her it wasn't true or try to cheer her up. Instead, she just gently reached for Ellie's hand.
"I think you're braver than you realize," she said softly. "You've been holding it all in, trying to stay strong for everyone else. But maybe it's time you start being honest with yourself too."
Ellie looked at her, surprised by the warmth in her words. There was no judgment. Just quiet understanding.
"It's okay to feel all of this," Kyla continued. "You don't have to rush it. Healing doesn't come with a deadline."
Ellie nodded slowly, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She didn't try to wipe them away. For once, she let them fall.
Kyla didn't let go of her hand.
They sat there for a long time, listening to the sounds of the evening—distant traffic, the rustle of wind in the trees, the occasional chirp of crickets. The world moved on around them, but in that moment, Ellie felt like she could finally breathe.
She didn't know when she started leaning on Kyla's shoulder, but when she did, Kyla didn't pull away.
"Thanks for finding me," Ellie whispered.
Kyla smiled, her voice a soft murmur. "I always will."
Ellie stayed there, resting against her, eyes closed. Her thoughts were still messy, still tangled in memories of Astrid and the pain she left behind. But Kyla's presence made it a little easier to sit with those thoughts, to not be crushed under them.
She didn't know what this meant. What she and Kyla were. If anything.
But for now, she just let herself feel.
The next morning, Ellie woke up with puffy eyes and a pounding heart.
She stared at the ceiling for a while, listening to the whir of her fan and the distant sounds of her mom making breakfast downstairs. The conversation from the night before replayed in her mind over and over. The vulnerability. The honesty. The way Kyla didn't look at her like she was broken.
For a moment, she felt something stir in her chest. Something that wasn't regret. Something like… hope?
She shook it off and rolled out of bed, pulling on a hoodie and tying her hair up into a messy bun. She didn't want to overthink. Not yet. Not today.
But of course, life had other plans.
Because the first person she saw when she got to school was Cloud.
He was standing by the lockers, laughing at something Nicole said. His smile was effortless, the kind that used to make Ellie laugh too. Now it just made her feel like she couldn't breathe.
She turned on her heel, ready to walk the other way, when he saw her.
"Ellie!" he called.
She froze.
Damn it.
She slowly turned around, pasting on the calmest expression she could manage. "Hey."
He jogged up to her, that same easy grin on his face. "Haven't seen you around lately. Everything okay?"
It was the kind of question people ask casually, like they already expected a yes. But Cloud wasn't people. Not to her. Not after what he'd said about Astrid.
"Yeah," she said quickly. Too quickly.
Cloud's smile faded a little. "You sure?"
Ellie looked at him, and something inside her just… cracked.
"No," she said honestly.
He blinked, caught off guard.
"I'm not okay, Cloud. And I don't think I have been for a while," she said. Her voice wasn't angry. It wasn't even sad. Just honest.
Cloud stepped back slightly, his brow furrowed. "Did I do something?"
Ellie hesitated, then shook her head. "No. You didn't do anything wrong. You just… reminded me of something I was trying to forget."
There was a long pause.
"Is this about Astrid?" he asked quietly.
Ellie nodded.
Cloud rubbed the back of his neck, eyes lowered. "I didn't mean to make things worse. I swear."
"I know," she said, and she meant it. "It's not your fault. I just… I never dealt with it. And hearing you say you liked her made me realize I never really let her go."
"I get it," Cloud said gently. "She's hard to forget."
Ellie smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah. She is."
They stood there for a moment, the hallway buzzing around them. Ellie didn't know what else to say. She didn't hate Cloud. She didn't even blame him. But she needed space—from the past, from the pain, from everything that reminded her of who she used to be with Astrid.
"I should get to class," she finally said.
Cloud nodded. "If you ever wanna talk…"
"I know," she said softly. "Thanks."
She walked away, feeling lighter somehow. Like saying the words had unclenched something inside her.
Later that day, Ellie sat outside under the old tree behind the gym. It was one of her favorite places to be alone. She hugged her knees to her chest and closed her eyes, letting the breeze wash over her.
She didn't hear footsteps until they were close.
"You always disappear when you're overthinking," Kyla said, sitting beside her.
Ellie opened her eyes, giving her a half-smile. "Guess I'm predictable."
Kyla shrugged. "I like that about you."
Ellie looked at her, surprised.
Kyla reached over and picked a leaf out of Ellie's hair. "You don't try to be someone you're not. You feel deeply. You care too much, even when it hurts. That's brave."
Ellie's heart thudded. "It doesn't feel brave."
"It is," Kyla insisted.
They sat in silence again, the kind that no longer felt uncomfortable.
"Kyla…" Ellie started, then trailed off.
Kyla turned toward her. "Yeah?"
"I don't know what I'm doing. With you. With… anything."
"You don't have to," Kyla said, her voice gentle. "We can just figure it out as we go."
Ellie studied her, the way the sunlight caught in her eyes, the quiet confidence in her words. For a moment, she allowed herself to imagine a future that didn't hurt. One where love wasn't just a memory of something that ended, but something that could begin again.
"I'm scared," Ellie admitted.
"So am I," Kyla whispered.
And somehow, that made it okay.
They didn't kiss. They didn't say anything more. But Ellie reached for Kyla's hand, and Kyla held it like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Maybe she wasn't healed yet. Maybe she'd still cry over Astrid some nights. Maybe she'd never forget the love they had.
But she was learning that healing didn't mean erasing the past.
It meant growing around it.
And as long as she kept moving, one breath, one heartbeat at a time, maybe just maybe she'd find her way back to herself.