Chapter 44: A Perfect First Time
Yukinoshita Yukino quietly watched Hikigaya carve the Djed Pillar.
He looked so focused, sunlight filtering through the window casting a golden veil over him and the wooden block in his hand, making it all seem ethereal.
"He looks kinda nice when he's serious..." The thought suddenly crossed her mind.
Soon, she was so entranced that she didn't notice her tea turning cold.
When she realized this, only a few minutes had passed.
She glanced outside—despite the blazing midday sun, the room felt unnaturally cold.
It was odd. There was no warmth from the sunlight.
Then she remembered what Hikigaya had said—it was something "for the dead."
A chill shot through her chest. She shivered, pressing her legs together and showing visible tension in her eyes.
She had seen Hikigaya use incomprehensible powers before—powers that had shattered her family. Her desire to "learn magic" was in truth a form of escapism.
But despite her fear, curiosity gnawed at her. She wanted to know what the wooden block was for.
Gradually, the chill in the room faded, and she began to feel warmth again. She exhaled softly—only to hear a second exhale.
Hikigaya had exhaled too—but his face showed joy.
He had succeeded.
Egyptian magicians had once fought sorcerers from the Committee. One of them, beheaded in battle, survived thanks to the Djed Pillar's power.
This amulet allowed the bearer, like Osiris, to reassemble even after being torn apart. Of course, it could only be used once.
Modern Egyptian magicians could no longer replicate this amulet; their ritual magic was incomplete, and divine bargaining was nearly impossible.
The existing Djed Pillars were heirlooms from their ancestors.
Since they were companions, Hikigaya figured he might as well help.
He refused to call his followers "subordinates." That felt gross. Whether it was the Egyptians or the Yomi Hand-to-Hand Group, their loyalty wasn't to him as a person—but to his power.
It was cooperation, nothing more. He just had the upper hand in choosing.
The Djed Pillar now looked like an ordinary block of wood—but it held the power of resurrection. The carvings and hieroglyphs were a bit crude, but he was confident in their function.
Egyptian magic was a pain—it required knowledge of ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs!
Since it was ritual-based and reliant on visual inscriptions, learning and practicing magic in ancient Egypt was something only the top students could do. It was maliciously inaccessible to the uneducated.
With a long internal rant, the former academic slacker and uncertain future genius, Hikigaya Hachiman, decided to give his first impressive magical creation to Yukinoshita Yukino.
But when he turned to speak to her, he saw her in a daze.
She looked beautiful in her daze—less voluptuous than her sister but with a well-proportioned figure. Her small feet made Hikigaya want to grab and play with them.
He couldn't help but recall Haruno's charms.
Yukino snapped out of it under his intense gaze.
Though she didn't fully understand what his look meant, it made her feel instinctively uncomfortable and flustered. Her cheeks turned red as she turned away.
Then, her stubborn streak made her turn back and lock eyes with him.
"Why were you looking at me like that?" she asked, slightly displeased.
Unlike her sister, Yukino had a strong aversion to men's improper intentions.
She often seemed like a misandrist, especially after her father's incident.
Originally, Hikigaya had been the only male she felt comfortable around—but now she'd seen that same "look" in his eyes. She didn't know how to handle it.
"I was observing," Hikigaya replied with a smile. "When people see something beautiful, they naturally want to look a little longer."
He never hid his appreciation of beauty—but appreciation didn't mean action. Only beasts acted purely on impulse.
"Here, for you," he said, handing her the Djed Pillar.
"For me?" Yukino's embarrassed expression shifted to surprise. She took it with visible joy, her usually calm eyes now glittering with delight.
Clearly, she was genuinely happy. At the end of the day, she wasn't much more mature than little Mariya Hikari.
"What's this called?" she asked while inspecting it. "Really for me?"
"Of course. It doesn't do much normally. Just carry it with you." Hikigaya chuckled at her joy. "Here, I need to activate it. Give me your hand."
This time, Yukino complied with no resistance or suspicion.
Hikigaya didn't take advantage. He held her hand briefly, then let go. Using the same hand, he tapped the Osiris carving on the amulet.
Instantly, under his satisfied gaze and her astonished one, the crude engraving glowed green.
"All done. Keep it safe. Put it in your bag if you want. But remember, it can only be used once." He took a sip of his tea—only to shiver violently.
It was ice-cold, like straight from a fridge.
"Sorry... could you pour me some hot water?"
Chapter 45: A Half-Hearted Summer Vacation Plan
Feeling pleased with himself after showing off a bit in the Service Club, Hachiman Hikigaya maintained his good mood as he headed home.
It was around five or six in the evening, and the heat outside was still intense. Only upon entering his house did he feel any relief—thanks to the air conditioning.
Come to think of it, summer vacation is just around the corner...
Summer break lasts about a month and a half. Where should he go to have some fun? Staying home all day is pretty boring.
As he pondered this, Hachiman walked into his house, greeted Komachi—who was already busy in the kitchen—and then headed upstairs.
At first glance, this might seem a bit heartless, but it wasn't that he didn't want to help his little sister.
He had tried before, only to find that anything he "helped" with turned out to be completely inedible.
Since then, he'd given up on entering the kitchen.
In fact, Komachi was even more adamant about keeping him out, since no one wants to spend hours cooking only to end up with something that merely looks like food but is actually some unidentified abomination.
Hachiman had once suspected that some sort of divine being was trying to starve him to death when he was all alone...
But soon after, he got kidnapped by the Fist Demon God, and ended up becoming a God Slayer.
That resentment faded away, and now it was just an embarrassing memory.
Back to the point: he still needed to decide where to go during the summer break.
Heading upstairs, Hachiman walked through the hallway and entered his room.
The previous signs of damage had long since been repaired.
The real loss had been the majority of his bookshelf, but recently it had been refilled with books related to ancient Egypt—many of them written in hieroglyphics.
There was no helping it. Without understanding hieroglyphics, one couldn't grasp Egyptian magic, which particularly delighted in tormenting the illiterate.
Even with a God Slayer's learning capabilities, Hachiman couldn't say he had mastered much hieroglyphics.
He was only able to replicate the "Djed Pillar" because he had a working sample.
After all, most Egyptian hieroglyphic texts were never published in books; they were carved into tombs and temples.
Nowadays, the only remaining Egyptian magical knowledge came from these ruins.
For example, the Pyramid Texts from the Old Kingdom period had over 700 deciphered spells.
If Hachiman truly wanted to study ancient Egyptian magic, becoming an archaeology enthusiast seemed to be his only option...
Wait a second!
Already seated on his bed, Hachiman suddenly sprang to his feet.
Damn! Isn't this the perfect place to go for summer vacation?
This master is, as always, a genius!
Having happily made up his mind, Hachiman immediately dialed Hazazi's number.
"Moshi moshi..." The moment the call connected, Hazazi's horrifying Japanese came through.
"Come on, I'm begging you—don't speak Japanese," Hachiman complained, then said, "Get in touch with your people. I'm coming over this month. You're coming too—as my tour guide."
"Eh? Boss, you're coming for vacation?" Hazazi didn't sound too thrilled. "Our place is really run-down. Honestly, there's not much to see."
After hearing that, Hachiman was absolutely sure the reason for Hazazi's reluctance had nothing to do with any of that.
"If you don't want to touch a steering wheel for the rest of the month, just keep talking," Hachiman threatened without patience.
"Boss! Wait for me! I'll be right there!" Hazazi suddenly got a huge burst of energy and promptly hung up.
Hachiman leisurely tossed his phone aside.
Not even a minute later, his window rattled. When he looked, Hazazi was clinging to the window like a puppy, wearing a pathetic, bootlicking expression.
This guy's IQ must've been prepaid and is now seriously overdue.
Maybe he should just push him off the second floor as a top-up?
On second thought, Hachiman figured it was best not to.
With his brain already running in the negative, one more fall might just send him off to another world.
Regretfully abandoning the idea of topping up Hazazi's IQ via physical trauma, Hachiman opened the window and let him talk.
"Why didn't you use the front door?" he asked.
"Because this is faster," Hazazi replied confidently, but when he saw Hachiman's face start to turn menacing, he quickly changed his tone. "Let's head out right now!"
"Head out your ass. Like it's that fast," Hachiman said, pointing out the window with disgust. "Go out the door, come back in, and eat dinner! If you dare leave leftovers, I'll send you off to pilot a Gundam!"
"…Okay…" realizing they weren't leaving immediately, Hazazi dejectedly jumped back down into the yard, looking like a wilted eggplant.
Hachiman closed the window, left the room, went downstairs, and opened the front door to let Hazazi in.
"Komachi, one more for dinner today," he called out as Hazazi changed into indoor slippers.
"But I didn't make that much," Komachi replied, glancing over and seeing Hazazi bowing and scraping. She giggled. "Oh, it's Uncle Ha! Onii-chan, go buy some extra groceries. I'll cook more."
He's not even Ha! Hachiman rolled his eyes, but wisely said nothing.
After asking Komachi what ingredients to buy, Hachiman looked over at Tamamo-no-Mae—who was shamelessly waiting to sample the food—and picked her up to bring along.
This damn thing was really getting more and more like a house pet.
"Go watch TV. I'm heading out to buy groceries," he told Hazazi, then slung the smug Tamamo over his shoulder, put on his shoes, and stepped out.
Hachiman knew the nearby supermarkets well and ran toward the closest one.
He wasn't worried about scaring people anymore. He broke into a run, kicking up a dust cloud—which Tamamo ate in full.
Having been force-fed a mouthful of dust, Tamamo quickly lost her temper.
"You're in a good mood, Master," she said with a sigh, resting her chin on his shoulder. "But is this really okay? Aren't those people brought here by that goddess?"
"What's wrong with it? And since when do you call me 'Master'?" Hachiman asked, ignoring the resentment in her tone.
"Hehehe~ Isn't it kind of fun to call you that? Anyway, can I go back? I've still got several dishes left to try."
"You're way too into being a pet..." Hachiman nearly burst out laughing.
Now that he thought about it, his mom did have a black cat. That cat and Tamamo had seemed to get along well back in the day...
Did they pass on some kind of "pet doctrine" back then?
This can't go on—I've got to save her!
Hachiman suddenly came to a stop so abruptly that Tamamo, who was just about to keep pleading, went flying and slammed into the ground like a dumpling in a pan.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" The angry fox-girl got up and yelled, her eyes brimming with tears. "You won't even let me eat a damn dish!"
"Decision made." Ignoring her pitiful face, Hachiman pointed at her solemnly. "You're coming to Egypt with me!"
"Egypt?" Tamamo's first reaction was to mimic Hachiman's usual ear-digging move, but quickly realized that doing that in fox form might draw blood. She straightened up and said haughtily, "I'm not going to that dump."
"You're going even if you don't want to." Hachiman looked pained. "Look at yourself! I tolerated you becoming a lion-dog, but now you're one step away from turning into a pig! We're going. It's settled!"
At that moment, Hachiman felt like he had been possessed by the righteous god Thoth.
Not just Tamamo—he'd bring the Yukinoshita sisters too.
A trip like this might help them improve their moods.
After giving himself a big mental thumbs-up, Hachiman stepped forward, scooped up Tamamo again, and—ignoring her outraged screaming—resumed his run to the supermarket.