What do you think about going back in past? Mustve been amazing and thinking you can change the future, you can change everything that wrong from you, restarting from your dawn fall.
What exactly you want? To train even better? To study more frequently so your test and exam get better? To become powerful man and humiliated everyone that in past?
Every human want it, and you do, but for suguru, he doesnt want to change everything, he already happy with himself and happy with everything the fate choosen him.
Suguru doesnt want to change the fate at all, he just wanted to do the same thing, overing all the games character and become an trash of the world.
Beacuse the pleasure is it he wanted, not you the one wanted to be change and become better, suguru different from you, he doesnt want it, having idea to reset and become even better lazying himself.
And from suguru honesty he better keep doing the same thing over and over again infinitely.. but life doesnt long and suguru doesnt immortal and yet, he know this concept.
He doesnt want to feel any regret, he left all his heavy drama behind, he avoids it beacuse he doesnt want to be overwhelming, to overheated.
sound of clock heared from up of his bed, opening suguru eyes he find himself in the bed looking around he find kaede his mother laying down besides him.
Her faces too close and he back up a bit he feels so uncomfortable how this loving mother looks close, she is pretty and blonde with black blue hair, her eyes was purple, thats make her even prettier.
For suguru she was the one always besides him, but suguru too overwhelming by that fact, he dislikes it, but to be honest he also.. want to feel the affection.
He slightly goes down from bed and looking at her mom that still asleep, he take look at his mirror, and it was him, he has a bit darker skin color, black blue hair, and blue eyes.
He looking at the mirror again thinking it was a dream he pinching his cheeks and it was real, he was in his past nothing changes, he looks at his joystick.
He glimmer of hope that the game he search still on the website.
Sitting down and he grabbed his broken joystick that he broke and turn on his tv, and hoping in his heart for his game still around, scrolling on the old website.
He hoping, very hoping his games still there, his thumb scrolling up and down, his eyes plead with hope and desprated, before he find out nothing, and it was zero result of it.
He sigh and giving up at this point, he know that all the games he was playing are from future not past, he get up and taking looks at his drawer, many games like rubics and chess also other puzzles games, strategic games his had.
Looking at it he feels cringe, beacuse this kid thinks he is an Main character who is smart? He is shivering and his reminder tickling his body making it more worses.
Before he look another drawer he stumble upon his comics book, its feels..
Why would he have kinda stuff like this? He just complain everything the past does and making it like he always right, but suguru feels a bit worry about this right now.
He cannot be return back to his future, he hates in here, imagine you already trough everything and ended up in the first same spot, he grits his teeth thinking it make him frustated.
He cannot do anything besides wait for something happening, he lay down on his bed nothing he can do, kaede still asleep, also he aware that he cannot tell kaede his own mom about the future.
he muttered at himself.
Before then he looking up at the celling, 2 June, he thinks of himself.
Suguru: [2 june.. 14 days left before arriving at my middle school, i dont care but i will try to convince my parent to not make an middleschooler beacuse it will hurt me] he said that with a big plan idea.
Beacuse he really hate school and those drama in it, specially bullies, he hates bullies and hope they gone all in one, but suguru doesnt mad at bullies, there still a reason they there tough, but he doesnt care anyway.
He decided to lay down back at his bed waiting for the next day to arrives, and probably he will convince her family to do not make him an middleschooler.
He doesnt care, it too much for me anyway, beacuse the overwhelming drama is cannot handle by him, after convincing hell probably going back to his same future anyway.
He take look at kaede face, the gentle and pretty face that has a lot affection on her own child, make him more irritated of it and even frustated over it.
He cannot believe he ended up in this situation of being in the past, he hates it, he grits his teeth and he grips his sheets and makesure to go back into his original future.
Hell makesure everything goes as his planned, before he think anymore.
Kaede gently move at him and grabbing suguru body with her arms and put him closer to her, make the warm can feels, Suguru shocked and cannot describe anyword and his eyes widened.
Kaede gently rubbing and her hands trough suguru hair gently.
Kaede: [i cannot wait.. for your ceremony at.. Middleschool suguru.. my dear..] She muttered on herself while carrsing suguru head.
Suguru hearing this bites his lips and make an exhausted and hatred looked, his eyes frowning and sharping at kaede words, he cannot believe and doesnt want to.
But something was off, he slowly losing his balance of hatred, he just stood there letting kaede patting his head, he slowly complicating himself, he slowly become more confused at himself.
Before Suguru can think anymore kaede gently pressed suguru on her body, the affection overwhelming on him and he can feels her warms trough his face, he stunned there.
Thinking this is was a joke, he wants to be alone.. leave me alone..
Kaede: [i want.. have photo of us.. to celebrate.. your attend on middleschool.. suguru.. and your.. bright future..]
Suguru stood there.. the overwhelming too much, this is why he hates drama of family, and her affection he thinking of himself about leaving this thing up, but he cannot describe what feeling he had.
Her affection overwhelming him, he cannot dealt with it, he grab her clothes he remember himself in the future that being trash and her mom hopes to be the best for him..
This is too much for suguru, and seeing her hope also make suguru even more crying, he silently crying and holding her tightly, and he closes his eyes and the tears flowing into his eyes.
He vision slowly blur his mouth slowly breath gently on her, the only think he can seen her face.. beautiful face of her.. kaede.., he then slowly sleeps.. while get warped and humilited by affection..
After Suguru asleep, Kaede smiles and then opened her eyes.
Kaede: [Suguru.. You are truly weak child.. but i still love you forever.. my loving child.. Whatever you feel pain.. i am here..] she keeping her gentle tone and she casually cuddle suguru.
Keeping him safe on her arms, and making him more closer to her, she loves her son, despite her weird attitude earlier, but he still her son.. the only son she could have, and love.
Kaede was a mother that like her child a lot, she doesnt abandoned them at all, she want to cherish and hold them in her hand, making them happy.
Suguru know this, but he cannot handle that deep sword of affection into his heart, its broke him and make him more cling to her.
Thats why he just wanted alone, but kaede keep him for her, and she loves her son whatever they be, or be the worst or bad people, is still her son, and she will be supprotive on them.
Kaede chuckle and seemingly likes suguru defeated face, she likes his sons holding her like that despite it feels like painful, but she know that he make suguru know, that.. she will always be with him.. even he had much pain earlier.
She hold suguru again close to him and closing her eyes gently before giving an kiss on suguru head.
Before then kaede smiling at him and closing her eyes and sleeps while cling to suguru thats crying.
Both of her gently holding the crying suguru, thats sleeping.. warmly and safely at her zone, its just pure.. love and affection.
--
[Morning Shining trough the window]
Suguru heard a gentle voices and he slowly awake and seeing her mother already besides her poking his cheeks.
Seeing suguru awake she smiles but a bit teasing her, beacuse his eyes was weary and looks like someone after crying.
Kaede: [Oh.. Did something happend last night.. My dear?]
Suguru scoff embarrased he looking away, and he doesnt admitted it she crying over beacuse of his mom, and also despite he is an 32 years old man.
He cannot believe it! How embarrasing.., He is embarrased and being violated by his own mother, clinging like littreally a child, crying and sobbing closer to her.
He grumpy at himself, kaede seeing this just cannot believe her sons turn into grumpy one, she hold her son hand and carrses it, she doesnt want anything bad happend to him.
Kaede: [suguru.. tell me.. what happend?]
Suguru looking away avoiding eye contact on her eyes, he can feels he could burst into love if he keeps staring at her, he could be so needy.
He sigh and swash it off and looks at her with serious face and stern one.
Suguru: [i was just overwhelming by your touch thats all..]
Kaede hearing it just smiles brightly, she then hugs suguru towards her shoulder, she rubbing her hairs affectionately like the time in the midnight..
Make suguru teary a bit how this make him overwhelming again, he hates this stuff warping around him, its killing him..
Kaede: [if something happend.. tell me okay suguru?] Kaede pull away a bit and kiss her son forehead gently.
He can feels his heart racing and his tears even overflowing, and he cannot handle such affection thing.
Kaede just shock seeing suguru become a cry baby and then finally hold him tightly to calmed him down, he doesnt stop crying beacuse her abusive affection slashing his body.
--
Sometimes later he finally stop crying and get up from bed, he goes down from bed to the floor and he looks at kaede, and he hate her so much.
He embarrased, hate, frustated, and confused all mix in one, in his head was like roller coster, it would broke him and he pinch his cheek and to makesure not to carry on this past.
He sigh before do anything kaede hold him up and he struggle to get down, he suprised at kaede sudden action, but this what her mother was, an unpredictable being.
Kaede: [Times to shower my little dear boy~]
Kaede casually bring Suguru into bath, wait nono, he cannot bath with her! He is 32 years old man-.
But kaede doesnt know that and she just dumped suguru into the warm bath and they both showering in it, suguru was silent the whole time beacuse it was obivious, he was holding a blushes hardly.
Are you out of your mind to bring 32 year old man into bath!? But kaede doesnt know anything just gently brushing suguru head with sampoo making him clean.
Suguru sit there in bath with kaede, and it was absolutely crushed suguru mind, he know that he just an child who doesnt wet dream yet but come on! He is not the same.
Eventually Kaede just teasing him on the bath poking his back.
Kaede: [aw.. suguru we always take bath together why you embarrased?]
Suguru just silently there, the only thing left is his blushing face and her mother smirking and teasing look.
After bathing suguru feels more energize, he can feels a sense of calming stroke him, but he doesnt really care beacuse it was just as same as normal, finally dressed by her mom with housedress, light blue and white.
Kaede looks at suguru and kneel on his level, and she smiling warmly at him.
Kaede: [aww suguru.. you are so cute~]
Suguru just looks at her with an sharp and stern looks before he take deep breath and looks at her with serious tone.
He want to said something, the idea of bathing together is too overwhelming on him, she just making him more bleeding, so he takes a step and make line for his mother to not step in.
Suguru: [mom i want to shower alone-]
Kaede: [No~]
Kaede cuts him off and he annoyed and clench his arms and then kaede cassually carrying him in his arms.
As then Suguru give a gasp and widened eyes looks, suguru cannot held anything, he was just too embarrased towards kaede..
And they goes into down stairs, for preparing meals towards other member of family, whiles Suguru keeps feeding by her affection for that times she around.
suguru last said, before he obeyed her mother request to make dinner together.