My father was always too busy with his own duties. Apart from Nora and Vera, I practically didn't talk to anyone else. I just wanted someone I could share my thoughts with.
"How are your extracurricular studies?" Felipe asked.
"I'm already becoming fluent in Markivalan and Loppus. It was difficult, since few people speak these languages in academia... But your book collection is amazing," I replied, trying not to sound too proud.
I knew Felipe had noticed. He saw right through me. He knew I was alone—and, worse, that I was suffering.
I sank into my studies because that was what I had left. It was the perfect distraction, the most efficient escape. Chasing magic with everything I had had had become my refuge. And Felipe, even without saying it directly, saw it clearly.
In just one year, I became fluent in six languages: Go-Then, Rurh, Markivalan, Loppus... The other two came almost naturally. But even so, it wasn't enough.
So I immersed myself in botany, calculus, geometry, technical drawing. My base deepened day after day. The teachers had already come to talk to Felipe about the possibility of graduating me directly in the fourth year — they said they had nothing more to teach me.
But I refused. I didn't want to leave. I avoided going home as much as possible.
"I think we need to talk about your father" Felipe said, in a direct way, but with a gentle tone.
"My father? What's with him?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
Deep down, I knew where this conversation was going... And I didn't want to get there.
"Zaatar... You slept at school yesterday. Why don't you want to go home?" Felipe asked carefully. "I know I shouldn't intrude on your life, but I'm worried"
I sighed, feigning lightness.
"Oh yes. It's just that I'm focused on my studies. Gardening requires a lot of effort, you know? Progressing step by step requires dedication. But don't worry... I'm taking care of the ghost orchids," I replied, forcing a half-smile.
"I understand... About your father..." Felipe began, cautiously.
"My father is busy with the things around the house," I interrupted, looking away. "He is the leader of the family. He has many responsibilities"
I couldn't face him as he spoke. It was easier to repeat that rehearsed justification than to admit the truth.
Felipe nodded, respecting my silence.
"I see. It's expected," he said, without insisting. It was kind of him. Maybe I even knew that insisting would only make me close even more.
There was a pause. He changed the subject, perhaps to lighten the weight of the conversation.
"Have you extracted the sap yet?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied, still a little distracted.
"Well, bring that to me tomorrow. I've already received some letters," said Felipe, organizing some papers on the table. "You should start a trip soon to the Port of the Golden Galleon. It's a big neighboring city"
I frowned, surprised.
"Travel?"
"Yes. It will take about five months to get there by land. Then, another five months at sea until its final destination. A year of journey," he said, seriously.
I was stunned for a few seconds.
The news caught me off guard — only now did I realize that, in the midst of the escape, the obsessive study, the tiredness... I had forgotten that I needed to go to university.
"Yes, I understand! Thank you for the opportunity," I stood up with a smile, feeling a mixture of pride and anxiety.
"I thank you. You are one of us and have made great contributions to our selection branch. I'm expecting a lot from you. Prepare your things, in a week I will have all the documents completed," he said, firmly and confidently.
"No problem, I'll do it right away," I replied, delighted. I had been studying here for a long time and I always wondered what the real university would be like. I was in the final stages of creating the runes of thought.
That is, soon I could start the first stage of meditation. Despite having spent years studying, I never imagined that this day would actually come.
It was time to leave. It was time to become a magician. A magician to protect my parents, my family... and myself.
—•—
The servants of the Udrak house had finished filling the chariot. The two warhorses were tested and prepared—Doug and Rammal were ready. Doug acted as a sentinel, alert at every move, while Rammal disguised himself as a coachman.
"Supplies ready for half a year, here" said my father, who followed everything closely. In fact, it even helped speed up loading and organization.
I was happy to see how pleased my father seemed with my decision. It was a clear sign that he supported me on this journey, and it gave me strength.
When everything was ready, I spent a good few minutes saying goodbye to Benta. She was emotional, almost paranoid about my departure—her eyes revealed a silent fear. Then I hugged Vera and Nora, my two angels. They wanted to come with me, but I was firm: I demanded that they stay and become masters of combat.
People said goodbye to me, one by one, at the city gate, until finally it was my father's turn.
"I'm sorry to have to leave you alone" I said, trying to hide the sadness that tightened my chest.
"It's not a problem, not at all! You're thinking about your future and the future of your family. That makes me proud, son," my father said, with a smile on his face that wanted to be strong for me.
"Please take care of both" I said, looking at the twins. I felt an enormous debt to them; Without my family, I would never have found the inheritance.
"Of course. I swear by my name that they will be fine," he replied, with conviction.
"Well, I hope to see you again, Dad," I said, hugging him. I had already said goodbye to Felipe and the people important to me at school.
Ordinary people believed that I would study abroad, but only my father knew exactly where I was going.
"Zaatar" My father held me by the shoulders before I got into the carriage.
"Prioritize your safety. Don't be in a hurry to go back. Think carefully before making any decision. We will always be waiting for you" my father's words were firm, but loaded with a sincere concern that warmed my chest in a way that was difficult to explain.
"Yes," I replied, trying to hide my excitement, but I couldn't help but smile on my face. That warmth in my heart, coming from his concern, was something rare for me.
Finally, I got into the carriage. My gaze ran for the last time over the faces of the servants, the warriors who had accompanied me so much in the last few days. The farewell was more difficult than I imagined. I had become attached to those simple faces, to that modest and, at the same time, so honest daily life.
"Let's go," I said to Demman, the driver, with a sad, half-tired smile.
I looked at my father, who was watching me with silent pride. Everyone around seemed happy, excited about their roles, about their lives.
But, inside, a question kept echoing:
Why do I feel so alone?
What has changed in me?