Aspen:
Jules's eyes slowly fluttered open, connecting with Aspen's own. She smiled, hoping it did not look as forced as it felt.
"Where are we?" he whispered.
"In the harbor waiting on Cas. How are you feeling?"
She hoped he was well enough to at least stand up, her legs had long fallen asleep. She could feel the voices nagging at her to just push him off, that this was unnecessary, but she ignored them.
Jules did not speak for a long moment before slowly rising.
"I feel okay," he said.
It was hard to tell if he was lying and had noticed her annoyance or if he truly was feeling better.
"You should lay back down, it's alright," she said hurriedly, watching as he winced, clutching his head.
"Why–"
"About time you woke up, I was starting to think I was going to have to kiss you," Alexei stated, walking over, grinning as idiotically as usual.
Aspen and Jules both stared at him silently. She was not sure if anyone could be more oblivious than Alexei.
"Y'know, like in the fairy tales! You remember that one where the lady is asleep and the prince dude…" he trailed off, shaking his head at them as they continued staring blankly.
"Shush, he has a headache, don't make it worse," she stated sternly.
"How long was I asleep?" Jules questioned quietly, glancing away.
"About two hours," Alexei answered.
"I'm sorry, that must have made things difficult," he whispered, she didn't miss his glance towards Alexei's bruised hand, already a deep angry purple. She was not entirely sure what had happened, but he had been cradling his hand close as if in pain ever since they had stopped to wait.
"Don't worry about it, we just want to make you're alright," Alexei declared seriously.
He really was an idiot, of course Jules wasn't okay, people did not just faint out of nowhere. She had worked in enough infirmaries to see the signs of illness, and he was practically screaming them.
"What happened?" she asked.
"I just don't like crowds," Jules mumbled, offering no further explanation.
He was a liability, with the work they did none of them had time for fears or dislikes, none of them had time to take care of someone who could pass out at the drop of a hat.
"Alexei!" Elaine's voice called.
She came running over, casting a worried look towards Jules.
"He doesn't like crowds," Alexei explained helplessly, shrugging.
"We have an…unplanned guest," Cassius announced, drawing everyone's attention.
"You're joking," Alexei muttered.
Her own heart sank at the sight of the kingdom's number one nuisance standing beside Cassius, looking equally dismayed to see them. At least everyone was in a bad mood.
"They're coming?" Ptolemus demanded.
"Of course they are," Cassius replied cooly.
"I thought this was diplomatic meeting! I doubt there's a single diplomatic thought in their minds! Can they even spell diplomacy?"
Aspen had the very strong urge to punch him, the other voices in complete agreement with her for once, but she stuffed in down. She had to control herself, she may not have particularly liked Cassius, but he would not do this without reason.
"Calm down," Cassius said, sounding exasperated.
"Look at that hideous language all over his face! I doubt it means anything good, they're going to attack us for whatever cult teachings hes carrying around," he continued, shooting a glare towards Alexei.
Aspen flinched, glancing towards her brother. He looked positively murderous, taking a step towards Ptolemus. He always lost his cool when someone insulted his tattoos, it still carried too much meaning for him, too many promises. After everything he had sacrificed for those promises, it was natural he would defend them on his life.
"I think it will certainly be a…pleasure to have your highness with us!" she said cheerfully, smiling as brightly as she could as she grabbed Alexei's sleeve.
Why did it always have to be her? Why did she have to be the cheerful one, the sweet one? Why must she clean up all their mistakes, balance out their reckless anger? She hated them for it, hated Alexei for it, hated herself for doing it anyways. Or maybe that was just the others talking, maybe it was just the voices whispering to her for so long that she could no longer tell which were her thoughts and which were theirs.
"Well, it's certainly not a–" Ptolemus broke off as Cassius kicked him.
It was not often he was pushed to that point of annoyance, but she could clearly see his anger.
"It's alright, I don't care about what he says," she stated, forcing a laugh.
God she wanted to punch that brat so bad.
"We need to get going come on," Cassius finally ordered, walking over to help Jules stand again.
"Thanks," he murmured, but his eyes were glued to her, as if he could see right through her facade. She knew it couldn't be true, yet she still shivered at his unwavering stare. Something about him had always been unsettling to her, as if something was just a bit off yet she could not tell exactly what.
Aspen turned to follow the others, Alexei and Elaine linking arms while he gave some sort of dramatic explanation of what she had missed.
"You know the fairy tale right? The one where the lady is asleep and-"
"No?"
Even as he continued joking as if nothing had happened, Aspen could still see the tightness in his jaw, the lightness of his voice a little too much to be natural, right hand dripping blood as he dug his fingernails in hard enough to cut.
How wonderful it would be if she could show her own feelings so openly. Instead she glanced back, finding Ptolemus still rooted in place.
"Are you coming?" she called, unable to see the details of his face under his hood besides a few strands of honey gold hair poking out.
"Shut up," he muttered, brushing past her.
If his attitude kept up one of them would end up dead by the end of this and she highly doubted it would be her. She walked straight into him, not noticing he had paused.
"What the hell?" he questioned.
"Oh shut up," she muttered, no longer able to keep up the air of politeness.
"You should show more respec–"
"Are you done yet?" she demanded.
Ptolemus's eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing several times before he finally spoke. "Excuse me?"
"Are you here to whine and be a nuisance the entire time, or are you here to make yourself useful? As much as you seem to hate all of us, you know how much we've done to help your brother and your kingdom even though we've been treated like shit our entire lives. I'm sure you also know exactly how much you haven't done. Grow up, if you want to prove yourself worthy of anything, you're going to need to learn that sometimes, things just don't go your way, that sometimes life is just going to be shitty and there's nothing you can do and no one you can blame," she lectured, unable to control her temper any longer. Even if the words were directed at him, she knew she was talking to herself too. She was as childish as he was.
Aspen could feel the frost creeping up her fingers, felt the cool seeping out of her, threatening to wrap its long fingers around Ptolemus, to silence him.
"Aspen?" Alexei yelled, turning back.
She gave Ptolemus one last look before running to catch up.
"Was he bothering you?" Elaine asked.
"No more than usual," she answered, not wanting to elaborate further.
Alexei glanced back. "Did you say something to him?"
"No?" she lied.
"Then why's he moping?"
"Isn't he always?" Elaine offered.
Aspen turned around for a moment, flashing Ptolemus a grin she couldn't quite contain. He only frowned in return, looking at the ground. It was an unusual reaction, different from his usual demands for respect and overly cocky responses. Maybe her words had actually gotten through to him, or maybe he was just in shock.
They all remained silent as they boarded the cargo ship and were promptly led below deck. The air was moist, smelling strongly of rotten fish and mold. A singular candle sputtering as it attempted to illuminate the space. It was about as charming as the abandoned warehouse her and Alexei had once taken shelter in.
"For the second time today, you have got to be joking," Alexei muttered.
"I second that," Elaine added.
They may have lived on the streets before, but it certainly hadn't been enjoyable or something they would ever get used to. The boards of the boat creaked as she took a step forward, surveying the molding hay laid out in makeshift mats, threadbare blankets piled in a heap in the corner, mysterious stains splattered across multiple.
"What the fuck is this?" Ptolemus asked.
For once, Aspen agreed, no matter how secret this mission was Cassius could surely afford better than this.
"I didn't say this would be a five star vacation, did I?" Cassius questioned, a smile pulling at his lips as if he was enjoying this.
"At least there's beds?" Alexei said, his voice strained as he lifted one of the blankets with two fingers, looking mildly disgusted to just be touching it.
"You call those beds?" Elaine whispered.
Jules walked over to one, laying down for a moment before standing again.
"It is not the most uncomfortable," he informed everyone.
Alexei walked over, pausing to pluck a piece of hay out of Jules's hair, grinning broadly.
"To hell with it," he said, approaching the least moldy area before plopping down and closing his eyes.
Cassius walked over to the side farthest from Alexei, laying his cloak across it.
"Here," he said, guiding Elaine towards it.
"Thanks," she replied, sticking her tongue out at Alexei before laying down, Cassius joining her close enough for one of the small blankets to partially cover them.
"Are you all mad?" Potlemus demanded.
No one had the energy to reply. Aspen sighed, going to lay next to Alexei. Sleeping with one's brother was never an enjoyable experience, but it was better than being cold. She despised the cold.
The ship rocked back and forth gently, something that had seemed to quickly lull the others to sleep, but had only served to remind her where they were, remind of her of the past. She assumed Alexei felt the same way, but he did not turn around and she did not ask. She was no longer sure of anything going through his head, no longer sure if he was even the same brother she had known all these years.
Aspen had never liked water, and boats were even worse. She could hear the others screaming in her head, screaming to get onto dry land, screaming to get as far away from this place as possible. If she was not terrified herself, their constant chatter would have kept her awake. Beside her Alexei jerked, tossing and turning as he stole the blanket away from her. It seems even he was able to get some sleep, even if it was nightmare filled. While that part of their past was only hazy snippets of anguish and terror for her, for him it was still vivid enough for the constant nightmares. He had never been able to sleep alone, even now she had seen the bruises on his head from where he was forcefully knocked unconscious, could see the dark shadows under his eyes as he struggled through the day, often napping in strange places when he thought no one noticed.
It was funny that she still cared for him after everything, blood really was thicker than water.
When she could no longer take it, she sat up, wrapping her arms around herself tightly. The chill in the air and dampness clung to her skin, penetrating straight through her cloak.
"Jules?" she questioned, hoping at least someone was awake, but she received no response. If even that weirdo was asleep she was probably out of luck.
Aspen stood slowly, her legs aching from her slight shivering as she stumbled her way above deck.
The wind tore at her, whipping her hair in every direction. The stars shown brightly enough that it was not too hard to see, a few lanterns scattered about assisting further. Sailors shouted back and forth, some of them singing or whistling as they worked. Most of the songs were incredibly crude or enough out of tune that she was positive they were drunk, but one stood out. The words were almost too soft to make out, but they hung in the air hauntingly beautiful, drawing her closer to the hooded figure, simply standing by the rail, staring out at the sky.
She approached silently, looking out towards the ocean. Maybe in another world this would have been a lovely moment, but in this world, in this life, she could not even bear to look at it. Even as it called out to her desperately, she turned away. It wanted to consume her, it seemed to whisper she was not where she belonged. She was supposed to be lying in its cool embrace, she was supposed to be dead.
Aspen glanced towards the sailor, realizing his singing had paused before she froze, eyes widening. His hood had blown off, revealing slightly mussed blonde hair, a perfectly delicate nose, a face unblemished and unaccustomed to any sort of hardship. Ptolemus's looks were completely at odds with his awful personality.
"What are you doing here?" he questioned, quickly looking away.
She scrambled for something to say, shaking the shock away. Of course he could sing well, he was a prince, it was normal for him to be good at everything.
"When I heard the singing I thought you were a sailor," she answered, pausing before adding, "It was quite nice."
"Right, thanks," he muttered.
She should have left then, should have returned below deck to try sleeping again, should have done anything but stand there with him, but something about the sadness in his song, the unguarded softness for those few moments, the tune she knew no royal lessons could have ever taught kept her frozen there.
Ptolemus was shivering, Cassius really must not have warned him at all.
"Can't sleep?" she asked, already cursing herself internally.
"I don't know if anyone would be able to in these conditions," he replied, glaring at the sea as if it had personally offended him.
"Cassius should have at least made sure you were wearing proper clothing."
Ptolemus scoffed, shaking his head. "That isn't how we are. It was stupid of me to even think he genuinely wanted to bring me along. He only did this because it's a secret from our father, right? I'm not dumb, I just sometimes wish– forget it, I'm just tired…"
She was surprised by the bitterness in his tone. Aspen had always assumed Ptolemus hated his brother for being the firstborn, that he was a brat who wanted more money and more power. The brat part was true, but for the first time she wondered if maybe there was more to it. She hated Cassius after all, it was possible someone else saw him the way she did. Horribly fake.
"Why can't you sleep?" he asked quietly, turning towards her.
For a moment she could almost understand why people excused his attitude, his eyes were the perfect shade of blue, not nearly as icy as Cassius's seemed, his hair giving him a certain air of innocence that Cassius also seemed to lack, but then she remembered exactly what he was. What he stood for. She should despise him, should hate him for the sake of the mom she could not even remember, the mom she had searched for in the mirror, in Alexei every single day only to come up empty.
"I don't like the ocean," she explained simply.
"Why not?"
"Because I'm afraid of drowning, why else would one dislike the water?"
"Because it's wet?" he offered, a hint of a smile on his face.
Typical royal, yet she found herself laughing, surprising both of them. Ptolemus turned away.
"How come you act so differently with the others?" he whispered.
"Because that's the person they know, the person I have to be to balance them out. You don't know me, so how I act doesn't really matter. We'll never be friends, never be anything," she said, unsure of why the words were so hard to say.
He didn't reply for a moment. Maybe he was already fed up, he probably hated her. The voices were still screaming, screaming to push him into the ocean, screaming at her for showing any sort of weakness. She should not care what he thought. Perhaps he did not think anything of her at all, why would he? She was nothing and he was a prince.
"Am I truly that repulsive?" he murmured.
She stared at him, confused. Why would he assume she was insulting him? He was not entirely wrong, but that had not been at all what she had meant, she had expected him to agree with her.
"You're a prince, and frankly, it seems as if you hate anyone who's not," she stated.
"I'm going to bed," he muttered, turning to leave.
"Wait!" she called, grabbing his arm before she had time to even think things through.
Ptolemus paused, not even turning around. Aspen quickly removed her cloak, draping it over his shoulders.
"You need it more than I do, your highness," she said, letting go and walking towards the entrance to below deck.
"Why?" he said, the words quiet enough that she almost did not hear him.
"Why not?" she answered, only because she was not entirely sure herself.