Alt title:Deadpool: Human Popsicle Edition
Scene:Hunter Association Headquarters.Private Chairman's Office.
Deadpool is slouched in a chair across from Chairman Go Gunhee, boots up on a fancy coffee table he absolutely shouldn't be touching.
Go Gunhee sits opposite him, stern, serious — still the titan of Korea's Hunter world, but visibly weighed down by something… exhaustion, an invisible pressure in the air.
Gunhee: "We detected strange mana signatures outside the city. Stronger Gates forming. Gates... that feel different."
Deadpool spins a pen between his fingers.
"Different how? Like, more murdery? Less 'please kill me and take my loot'?"
Gunhee frowns, clearly not fully understanding it himself.
"Something... unnatural."
Deadpool shrugs.
"Welcome to my Tuesday, old man."
Suddenly—
The temperature plummets.
Breath turns to mist instantly.
Deadpool pauses mid-spin.
A blast of freezing magic shatters the windows as a terrifying ice spear — long as a telephone pole — pierces the room at impossible speed.
Gunhee reacts—fast—but not fast enough.
Deadpool, sitting right in the path, barely blinks.
CRASH—THUNK.
The massive icicle impales Deadpool clean through the chest, nailing him into the back of his chair like a cheap Halloween decoration.
Gunhee's eyes widen.
Security alarms blare.
Mana surges outside — the Frost Monarch.
Deadpool looks down at the gigantic icicle jutting through his torso.
Stares at it.
Pokes it with a finger.
Deadpool: "Huh. So this is what a frozen shish kebab feels like. Kinda tingly."
He grabs the icicle with both hands, yanks it out of himself with a grotesque crunching sound — blood splattering the floor —and casually tosses the massive spear aside like it's a bag of groceries.
Wound already starting to knit itself back together with a squelch.
Deadpool turns to Gunhee, totally unfazed:
"So... does this building have central heating? 'Cause your assassins need better thermostat settings."
Gunhee, still in battle mode, stunned just for a second, growls:
"Stay behind me."
Deadpool twirls his katanas free, cracking his neck.
"Pfft. Stay behind you? Gramps, this is just my warm-up!"
Deadpool, to the fourth wall:
"Alright, folks. It's about to get frosty. Time to kick some icicle ass."