Chapter 12
Astrid's POV
Kaeleen's words hung in the air, heavy and potent. They resonated within me, stirring up emotions I had long suppressed. He saw something in me, something I had convinced myself no longer existed. He saw strength, resilience, and beauty. But I couldn't allow myself to believe him. I couldn't afford to hope.
Ignoring the warmth that had begun to spread through my chest, I turned my back to him and lay down on the bed. Sleep was a welcome escape, a temporary reprieve from the turmoil within.
"You are just going to ignore me?" Kaeleen asked me.
I didn't say anything. I hated the feelings he evoked in me. This was something that even Leon hadn't been able to evoke. I hated it..oh who was I kidding. I liked it. I liked it a bit too much which was why I hated it.
"I hope one day, you can see what I see too." He said quietly.
The mattress dipped slightly as Kaeleen settled in behind me, but I kept my back turned, my body rigid. I focused on slowing my breathing, willing myself to drift off. It took a while, but eventually, exhaustion won, and I succumbed to the darkness.
When I woke, the first rays of dawn were filtering through the small window. I glanced over my shoulder, careful not to disturb Kaeleen. He was still asleep, his face relaxed and peaceful. He looked handsome. I wanted to run my hands through his chest, trace the tattoos peeking out from the sleeve of his shirt.
I shook my head. I shouldn't be having these thoughts towards someone who was still practically a stranger. I had to get out.
I slipped out of bed, gathering my few belongings. I didn't want anyone to know I had spent the night in his room. It would only fuel the gossip and speculation, and I didn't need any more attention drawn to me. Neither did I want my bad reputation to affect him. I was weak but at least I could protect him from my tarnished reputation and save him from the gossip.
I dressed quickly and quietly, then slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind me. I hesitated for a moment, wondering where to go. My own room was no longer an option, not after what had happened. I had to speak with Clara to let her know I needed a new place to stay.
I went to her room first but he wasn't in so I decided to wait outside Leon's room. Clara was my sister, and I needed to talk to her. I needed to explain what had happened and ask for a different place to stay. Surely, she would understand.
I settled onto the floor, leaning against the wall, and waited. Minutes stretched into hours, but neither Clara nor Leon emerged from their room. The pack members bustled around me, preparing for the day, but I remained unnoticed, invisible.
I had informed the guards that I wished to speak with either Clara or Leon, hoping they would relay the message. But as the morning wore on, I began to doubt whether they had bothered.
At first, I tried to remain optimistic, telling myself that they were simply busy. But as the hours passed, a familiar feeling of dejection began to creep in. It was a feeling I knew all too well – the feeling of being forgotten, of being unimportant.
My stomach growled, a sharp, painful reminder that I hadn't eaten anything since the previous day. The gnawing hunger intensified the feeling of despair, making it harder to hold onto hope. It was almost noon.
With a sigh, I stood up, my legs stiff from sitting on the floor for so long. I had to get something to eat. I couldn't think straight on an empty stomach.
I made my way to the kitchen, the one I normally used, hoping to find something quick and easy to prepare. But as I entered, I saw Mary and Clara standing by the stove, deep in conversation.
Mary's eyes narrowed as she saw me, her expression cold and hostile. "Watch your step, Astrid," she said, her voice sharp.
I flinched, startled by her tone. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, avoiding her gaze.
"Clara, can I speak with you for a moment? In private?" I asked, turning to my sister.
Clara glanced at me, her expression indifferent. "I'm extremely busy, Astrid," she said, her voice dismissive. "Petty matters will have to wait."
"It's important, Clara," I insisted, my voice pleading. "It won't take long. I just want to talk about my room."
I tried to tell her about the building that had collapsed, about the danger I had been in, but she cut me off.
"I don't have time for this, Astrid," she said, her voice impatient. "Mary and I have to welcome the other delegates who are arriving today."
She turned to Mary, her expression softening. "Hurry up, Mary," she said, her voice warm. "We need to be at the gates in fifteen minutes."
I watched in silence as Clara and Mary walked away, their arms linked together. A wave of realization washed over me. Clara wasn't the same person she had been in the past. She had changed, hardened. She was no longer the loving, supportive sister I remembered.
I didn't give up entirely. I tried to contact Leon, hoping he would be more understanding. But he gave me the cold shoulder, avoiding my gaze and refusing to acknowledge my presence.
"Leon, please," I begged, my voice cracking with emotion. "Just spare me a moment. That's all I ask."
But he ignored me, walking past me as if I were invisible.
A bitter laugh escaped my lips, and tears began to stream down my face. I was alone, completely alone. My sister had abandoned me, my mate had rejected me, and now, even my friends were turning their backs on me.
I stood staring up to the sky as a bitter laugh escaped while tears poured from my eyes. I really wasn't anything. I was nothing, Kaeleen was wrong.