Now there's an understatement if there ever was one.' Shirou deadpanned, recalling several of the tales Saber had recounted of her advisor to his myriad alternate selves. While there was no denying that Artoria owed a considerable debt to the Magus of Flowers, hell were it not for Merlin it was likely she would never have been born at all, that didn't stop the Wizard from making an absolute pest of himself just to see how his apprentice would react.
In a sense, it would not be inaccurate to compare Saber's relationship to Merlin to the relationship Shirou's myriad selves had witnessed between Rin and Wizard Marshall Zelretch. While Shirou had never personally met the Master of Kaleidoscope, a fact he was growing increasingly more grateful for the more he was exposed to his alternates' memories, there was no denying that there was an almost unnerving similarity between the Magus of Flowers and the Old Man of the Jewels when it came to trolling people for their own amusement.
'At least Zelretch isn't a philanderer.' He sighed, shuddering at the mental image of the resulting carnage if the old vampire had tried even half the shit Merlin had put Saber through, both before and after drawing Caliburn 'Forget the Clock Tower, the entire Magus Association probably wouldn't be left standing.'
"Well now, I do believe I've kept you kids long enough." Azazel mused, rising to his feet with a chuckle as they noticed the time "Do try to keep it in your pants around Hyoudo-kun, okay Vali?"
"Funny." The silver-haired devil scoffed, clearly used to such ribbing as he stalked off with his hands in his pockets "I'll be waiting by the main gate," he called out to Shirou "don't keep me waiting too long, Emiya."
'When the hell did life get so complicated?' Shirou sighed, shaking his head in exasperation as he and Xenovia hurried to clean up the remains of breakfast 'I wonder if Issei has to deal with crap like this?'
Meanwhile-Outside Kuoh Academy...
"Are you sure you're alight, Issei-san?" Asia wondered, the former nun regarding her not-so-secret crush in concern as the teen recovered from an impressive surprise sneezing fit.
"Ah, I'm alright, Asia." Issei assured the girl, blinking tears out of his eyes even as he fought to suppress a jaw-cracking yawn "I'm just a little beat is all. Spent most of the night chatting with nii-sa-I mean, Sirzechs-sama." He corrected hurriedly, not sure how Asia would take his referring to the Lucifer so affectionately, given her recent rivalry with Rias for his affection.
"Is that so?" Asia mused, smiling at the memory of the charismatic Satan "I have to admit, I was a little intimidated when I first learned that Rias' older brother was THE Sirzechs Lucifer, but after meeting him I can't help but marvel at his kindness."
"Yeah, Maou-sama's pretty awesome, isn't he?" Issei mused, unable to help smiling at the memory of his late-night conversation with his King's older sibling, only to flush as a certain topic they'd discussed reared it's beautiful head, forcing him to slap his cheeks in order to avoid upsetting Asia.
'It's a good thing Buchou went on ahead to show Maou-sama and Grayfia-san around." He sighed 'I don't think I'd be able to keep myself from testing out Maou-sama's theory.'
Seriously, how could he, the self-proclaimed Harem King, not have thought of using the Boosted Gear to enhance Rias' already bountiful bust? Until Sirzechs-sama, no, Maou-Nii-Sama had suggested it, the idea had never crossed his mind!
'Truly, he is well deserving of the title of Devil King.' The perverted pawn wept, clenching his fist as liquid manliness streamed from his undeserving eyes. To think it wasn't even a year ago he'd once been considered a social pariah, now here he was, rubbing elbows with high-class devils, with the undisputed ruler of the underworld offering to call him family! "Looks like things are finally looking up for ol'Issei-GH!"
"Issei-san?!" Asia exclaimed, looking on in alarm as her crush dropped to his knees, the pawn letting his schoolbag drop to the floor in order to grab his left wrist.
"Shit, what's going on?" he swore, so caught up in his agony that he completely forgot to reign in his vulgarity around Asia "Dammit Ddraig, what's got you so riled up?"
"That would probably be me." A familiar voice called out, prompting the devils to look up to see a tall, silver-haired foreigner standing nearby "I honestly pity the Great Welsh," he scoffed "to be raring to go yet unable to cut loose because his vessel can't handle his full power."
"Who the hell are you?" Issei demanded, gritting his teeth as he pushed himself to his feet, something deep within him refusing to allow him to appear weak in front of the foreigner.
"You seriously don't remember?" the damned handsome scoffed, looking honestly amused "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, this is only our second meeting and I never properly introduced myself last time."
"Last time?" Issei repeated, his eyes widening in realization as he finally placed the teen's voice, his features paling as he realized precisely who was standing before him "That mean's…you're…!"
"It seems you do remember." The teen mused as he strode towards them "Just as you host of the Welsh Dragon Ddraig, I am the host of the Vanishing Dragon Albion, this generation's White Dragon Emperor." He smirked at Issei's look of alarm "But since that's kind of a mouthful, you can just call me Vali."
Another action-free chapter, though to make up for it I fleshed out Ddraig and Albion's backstories.
And yes, for those wondering, the stuff I listed above is, for the most part, accurate. King Llud really did bury two fighting dragons and Vortigern really was stupid enough to build a castle on top of the hill they were under and even stupider for following Merlin's advice to dig it up.
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