Damon was brushing his teeth the next morning when the familiar ding of the System popped up behind his reflection in the mirror.
He groaned as toothpaste foamed around his lips. "Already?"
The red notification floated right beside his head like a cheerful curse.
> [New Task Generated!]
Minor Crime Assignment #002:
Switch the salt in the cafeteria with sugar.
Reward: +20 Aura Points
Bonus: +10 AP if a teacher complains.
He blinked.
Then blinked again.
"…Seriously?"
Even the System itself added a line at the bottom in a glowing italic font:
> "Sometimes villainy begins with dessert sabotage."
Damon spat into the sink. "I'm a criminal mastermind in training… and I'm swapping condiments."
---
Later that Day – Campus Cafeteria
The cafeteria at Griffin West College was always packed by noon. The lines stretched, the clatter of trays filled the air, and the staff moved like warriors in a mess hall under siege.
Damon was wearing a plain black hoodie and hunched like he owed the world money. He slid through the crowd unnoticed. No one greeted him. No one even turned.
He made his way behind the lunch counter during the staff change rotation—something he'd memorized long ago from sheer boredom and observation—and found the open ingredient drawer.
The sugar bag sat beside the salt container like it was meant to happen.
He swapped the labels, scooped the salt into the sugar dispenser, wiped his hands, and disappeared back into the crowd like a ghost in beige sneakers.
Thirty minutes later, the first victim was birthed:
A tall economics professor took a spoonful of mashed potatoes and paused—
"Who the hell puts sugar in the mashed potatoes?!" he grimaced.
The System pinged almost instantly:
> [Task Completed!]
+20 Aura Points earned.
+10 Bonus AP unlocked.
Villain Progress: 0.3%
You've mildly inconvenienced a scholar. Excellent.
Damon tried not to smile too hard as he took a seat in the far corner while pulling up his stats screen.
> [Aura Points Available: 45]
He didn't plan on doing anything wild with them yet. But a few subtle improvements? Yeah.
---
Updated Stats
Appearance:
● Face Structure – 2
● Chiseled Jawline – 2
● Eye Sharpness – 4
● Height – 5'8"
● Nose Structure – 2
● Skin Clarity – 2
● Hair Quality – 2
Biological:
● Body Scent – 2
● Libido – 2
● Health – 2
● Private Length – 3.4"
● Digestive Efficiency – 1
Physical:
● Strength – 3
● Agility – 2
● Speed – 2
● Reflexes – 2
● Endurance – 2
● Flexibility – 0
> Spent: 25 AP. Remaining: 20
His jaw looked a little more pronounced now but still far from anything remarkable.
He didn't look like a superhero. But he didn't look like a walking fog anymore either.
---
Understood. You want humor that punches, but not in the form of purely silly or cartoon-level pranks. The tone should still reflect the dark, grounded, and antihero arc Damon is walking into—funny, but with bite.
Let me revise that chapter section now to reflect more believable and impactful minor villainy. Damon will be doing things that cause real disruption, discomfort, or small chaos, but in ways that are still grounded and entertaining. Here's the revised week-of-crimes section of Chapter Four:
---
Over the next seven days, Damon fell into a rhythm.
Classes. Campus walks. Late-night missions from the Aura System.
The tasks were getting more serious but still below full-blown criminal charges.
The System seemed to know just how far to push him without breaking him yet.
---
1. Switch the salt for sugar. (Completed.)
A disaster in the cafeteria. Potato panic. Teachers and students both furious.
---
2. Order 10 pizzas to the dorm of a scholarship student who didn't order any.
(+15 AP. Bonus unlocked when the student broke down arguing with delivery guys.)
Damon didn't enjoy this one. But the System's line read:
> "Kindness is a weapon too. Especially when misused."
---
3. Spray-paint over a parking zone sign so five cars get ticketed.
(+20 AP. Bonus when a professor's car got towed.)
He walked by whistling while feigning innocence as one faculty member cursed the city council.
---
4. Hack the campus announcement board and loop an embarrassing audio file.
(+25 AP. Bonus for every hour it remained live.)
For seven hours, the main digital screen near the library loudly broadcasted:
> "The Hero Association regrets to inform you that your hero is a marketing product and does not actually care about your safety."
People lost it.
---
5. Break into the teacher's lounge and pour coffee mix into the microwave vents.
(+30 AP. Bonus unlocked when the fire alarm went off.)
Damon wore gloves, used the side window, and left the door locked behind him. Like a proper little shadow.
---
6. Set up a fake "Hero Meet & Greet" table and watch the chaos.
(+40 AP. Bonus awarded when 30 students lined up before security intervened.)
He even wore sunglasses and held a clipboard. No one recognized him.
Not that they would've anyway.
---
With each completed task, his Aura Points grew, and so did his boldness.
He started spending a little more on his stats:
---
Updated Stats
Appearance:
● Face Structure – 3
● Chiseled Jawline – 4
● Eye Sharpness – 5
● Height – 5'8"
● Nose Structure – 2
● Skin Clarity – 2
● Hair Quality – 3
Biological:
● Body Scent – 2
● Libido – 2
● Health – 3
● Digestive Efficiency – 1
● D*ck Size – 4.4 Inches
Physical:
● Strength – 7
● Agility – 6
● Speed – 5
● Reflexes – 5
● Endurance – 6
● Flexibility – 1
> Aura Points Remaining: 110
Villain Progress: 2.5%
---
And still, nobody knew his name.
The popular students—Leona Vance, Briella Cho, and their A-lister entourage—still walked past him like he was furniture.
Only now, Damon didn't care.
They weren't gods.
They were just people with good skincare and expensive shoes.
And heroes?
They were the same. Just better actors.
Damon passed the open quad one afternoon to see a familiar voice echoing:
"This time next year—I'll be on HeroNet. Mark my words."
Eliot Brandt was back on his soapbox, standing on the edge of a campus planter like it was a stage. His smile reflected the afternoon sun and his fan club gathered in semi-circle formation with their phones out.
"I've already got a team prepping my support gear. We're visiting an Emerald Dimension gate outside District 11. No parent inheritance—just raw grit."
He flexed dramatically.
"Crime will fear me!"
Damon passed by with earbuds and whispered under his breath, "So will humility."
That night, as Damon lay in bed, scrolling through abilities, a fresh task slid onto the screen:
> [New Task Incoming...]
> Moderate Crime Assignment #003:
Find a hero student in training. Plant false evidence to get them suspended.
Reward: +100 AP
Bonus: +50 if their powers are hereditary.
Damon eyes widened. "Uh oh..."
He stared at the screen.
For the first time since it began… the System was drawing blood.