The Goddess looked up at me like I'd completely lost my mind.She was still holding her cheek where I had punched her.It was a little red now.
Yeah… I hit her pretty hard.
Well, she deserved it.
After all, she entrusted the fate of all humanity to some hooligan… then to a drunken womanizer… then to a guy who literally spent his life inside a brothel… and after that, to someone who just keeled over and died because he choked.
The so-called "heroes" this Goddess picked were a goddamn joke.
And after all that, she gave the blessing to Alice—who didn't even know how to fight—and then just left her to die when danger came knocking.
Of course this Goddess deserved a punch in the face.
"Y-You're not going to get away with punching me, you know!?" she cried out.
"Oh really?" I said. "Then how about we make this real serious, huh? How about you give me something that's actually useful for once? Come on, Goddess—you have the power to give blessings, right? Then give me the good stuff."
"I-I can't! That's against the law! Hnngghh!"
I slapped her across the face.
"What's against the law is fucking everything up by giving the Hero's Blessing to a fucking mongrel who spends his time fucking any woman in a damn brothel!" I shouted.
"I-I know I screwed up with that! That's why I chose someone who actually had potential afterward! She had the qualities and she was a real descendant of the original Hero—so I picked her! I learned from my mistakes!"
"So it was you who made Alice the Hero, huh!?" I growled.
I didn't even know Alice was a descendant of the Hero, but honestly, I didn't give a fuck at this point.
All I could think about was how angry I was that this Goddess put her in that situation to begin with.
"I'm sorry, okay!? It's not my fault! Please, don't hit me again!"
She was literally begging now.
Honestly, I kind of started feeling bad for doing this to her.
Maybe she was just dumb.
But even if that was the case, it didn't excuse all the stupid shit she had done.
Being born stupid wasn't her fault—but choosing to live in stupidity? That was on her.
"Can you take blessings back from someone while they're still alive?" I asked.
"Huh? No, I can't. Once I give a blessing, it's theirs for life. Whether they get killed or die of old age, the blessing only returns to me after death. That's the only way I can give it to someone else."
"I see," I said.
So taking back the Hero's Blessing from Alice wasn't even possible, huh?
Well… even if it were, getting it back from her while she was being held at the demons' base would be crazy dangerous.If they found out she didn't have the blessing anymore, they'd kill her instantly.
The only reason she was still alive was because they wanted to prevent another Hero from being born.
That was the only thing keeping her breathing.
"Alright then… would you at least tell me why you can't give me a blessing other than Farmer? I mean, I don't mind farming, really—but I need to save Alice. Please. Just give me something actually useful."
The Goddess looked at me for a moment, then said plainly—
"I can't."
"…Why not?"
"Because it's impossible. It's not like I'm the one who decides who gets what blessing. The blessings choose their own holders," she replied.
"But you said earlier that you can choose."
"Well… what I said is still technically true. The blessings choose their holders specifically based on who meets the prerequisites. Meaning, the blessing itself won't go to someone who doesn't meet the qualities needed to receive it."
"Then why is it impossible for me?" I asked.
The Goddess scratched her cheek awkwardly.
"That's because… well… you don't qualify for any of the other blessings. Not a single one. Except Farmer."
…What? So I was just a loser from the start?
I dropped to my knees in disbelief.
So it was literally impossible for me to be anything but a farmer? What kind of messed-up fate was this?
"Y-You don't have to feel that bad. The Farmer blessing has a lot of quirks, you know? With it, you could support your family, and, uh…"
She stopped mid-sentence.
"Huh? Why are you…?"
"What?" I asked.
"Uh, nothing," she said quickly, looking away.
The moment she averted her eyes, I knew something was up.
"What was it?"
"I said it's nothing. Seriously, don't worry about it."
I narrowed my eyes at her. Yeah. She's definitely hiding something.
But then, something strange happened. A glowing chain appeared in my hand, made of pure light. It wasn't physical—more like it existed on some other plane—and it was connected directly to the Goddess's neck.
"Uh… Goddess? Is this some kind of decoration or something?"
"W-What is happening…? What the hell is going on?!"
She sounded confused and honestly kind of scared.
I had no clue what was happening either.
"Ugh… no way… Am I seriously going to be a slave!?" she cried.
"A slave? What?"
"I don't know! I really don't! But something's changed… It looks like you just unlocked another blessing you qualify for!"
"Huh? What blessing is it?"
For some reason, I felt a tiny flicker of hope—until I remembered her reaction. Something about this didn't sit right.
"Goddess's Master!"
…What?
That was… a weird-ass blessing.
I had no idea what it even meant.
"Noooooooooooo! I don't wanna lose this job! I just started! It's not even been a hundred years yet!"
Suddenly, the entire place started shaking. Cracks appeared in the space around us like reality itself was breaking apart.
And then—
I woke up.
Back in my room.
With something very heavy on top of me.
"Guh… What the hell…?"
My hands instinctively moved to push it off—but the moment I touched it, I realized it felt like… pillows?
Soft as hell. But definitely not pillows.
"What the hell…?"
"H-Hiii…!"
I heard a voice from above.
That's when I finally realized who—or what—was on top of me.
It was a woman. Her long hair was pure white, and even her eyebrows matched. Her skin was bare from top to bottom.
She was completely, entirely naked.
And my hands were gripping her bare breasts.
"Ah… A-Ahhh…"
She looked down at me, face slowly turning deep red with embarrassment.
I looked down too—just to check—and yup.
Even down there, her hair was the same snowy white.
And just then, like clockwork, the door to my room creaked open.
"Hey, you stupid lazy bum of a big brother, can you please keep it down? I'm trying to sle—"
My younger sister stood frozen in the doorway.
She stared at the scene in front of her... Me, lying in bed, a fully naked woman on top of me, my hands still on her breasts.
The silence was unbearable.
She closed the door.
And then took off down the hall, screaming.