- I guess this is it
Kay Solus' heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice grip. Laying on the shabby carpet of his singles apartment, the middle-aged man could feel his life nearing an end. No sooner had he gotten home from his mom's funeral that he collapsed near the entrance to his home. Between his heart spasms and the mild pain drifting from his blood deprived body parts, he was fairly certain these would be his final moments.
- I guess I shouldn't be surprised
He was in his mid-forties, and although he heard of people living to one hundred, he understood that such an achievement wasn't for him. In addition to his obesity and diabetes, the older man was a fan of living under constant stress doing a job he wasn't suited for. Age forty six and he was still working a low paying fast food job. Customer service had never suited him, but those were old regrets; in moments he'd be dead and his regrets would cease mattering.
Kay thrashed on the ground, in his death throes, when it occurred to him that he could call someone. Not 911, but someone he could talk to in his final moments. Although he'd always thought about meeting a special someone, he never had.
His apartment didn't allow pets either, and so his final moments were destined to be alone. That was until he remembered about the cellphone in his pocket.
Constrained by the tight fitting black suit he'd worn to the funeral, he struggled against his own movements attempting to reach his pocket, his thoughts growing more distant with every passing second. There was a disconnect between his thoughts and movement. He could feel his thoughts commanding his failing body to move, but the appendages didn't feel like they belonged to him, as though he were being puppeted by something else entirely.
At last, he was able to free his phone from his pocket, although he soon abandoned the train of thought in its entirety. Looking at his lock screen he saw the picture that he'd set: his family from decades past. In the picture everyone looked as he remembered them. He and his brother looked to be in high school, both full of youthish cockiness and vigor.
His younger sister looked to be a freshman in middle school, not quite childish, but before adolescence made her cold and distant. Finally, his parents. His dad looked much as Kay did now, overweight, but there was a happiness in his smile that his son currently lacked. Tears came to Kay's eyes as he looked at his mother. Her blond hair he hadn't seen in years. It had long been replaced by grey, and although she may have looked portly to some, Kay much preferred her looking that way.
In the years leading up to his mothers death, he could barely bring himself to look at her. After dementia devoured her mind, her body had begun to shrink. Though modern medicine had sustained her life for several years, in the days before her death she had looked like a skeleton, her flesh pulled taut around every bone, poorly disguising what lay beneath. Today, he had gone to her funeral, but her death was not unexpected nor was it particularly unhappy. She had lived a good, long life. She had outlived her husband by a decade, and she would live on in her three children, and two grandchildren. Sadly, Kay knew that if she had any regrets they would've been about himself.
He gently released the grip on his phone, letting it slide to the floor. He had gotten caught up in the spectacle of death. In all the media that Kay had seen, from movies to tv shows, death had always seemed so dramatic and heartful. Proclamations of undying love and sacrifices had spurned Kay to take action, until he realized his shame. It wasn't that there was nobody he could call, there was simply nobody he wanted to call.
Had his mother or father been alive, he was sure their voices would've been those he'd want to hear, however, his remaining choices didn't seem too appealing. With no meaningful friends or acquaintances forged in his forty six years of life, the only people he could've called were those that he had been shackled to since birth, his siblings.
However, he doubted they wished to hear his voice. Both were in the process of living amazing lives: his sister as an accomplished lawyer and mom, and his brother as a professional football player. In comparison, Kay had done nothing with his life. He was sure they were ashamed to have such a disappointment for a brother.
So, Kay Solus lay there, his life ebbing away. It wasn't a terrible life. At least, he hadn't gotten himself jailed or murdered, but that felt like empty solace. In his youth he had plenty of dreams and aspirations. He wanted to be an author. He wanted to get married. And, although he had never been very good at the social interactions that were so plentiful in life, he felt he should've tried harder. Maybe then he would've had a friend he could call in this situation.
Alas, none of those dreams had been realized over his life. As Kay savored the last shallow breath he took, he thought that if reincarnation was real, he'd try harder in his next life.