> "Even soldiers need sleep. Even kings need hobbies.
Even world-saving chat groups need mandatory vacation days."
— The Blank One, enforcing relaxation like a bureaucrat with a shotgun
---
[System Lounge – Interdimensional Break Room]
After the collapse of Shadowfall, the multiverse didn't immediately explode.
Which, according to Rimuru, meant "party time."
And thus, in the ephemeral heart of the Dimension Chat Group, a neutral pocket realm was formed:
a chill, fully-furnished System Lounge, complete with vending machines, lazy couches, a meditation waterfall, a taco truck that only served duplicates of Deadpool's favorite orders, and a suspiciously loud slot machine labeled "Gacha of Regret."
The team had gathered.
Not to fight.
Not to strategize.
But to deal with the most terrifying thing of all:
Free time.
---
[0:00 – Enter the Shop]
MC stepped into the new System Shop Menu, projected in the air like a virtual browser.
A voice cheerily intoned:
> "Welcome, Blank One! You have 22,500 Coins and a headache!"
The shop was divided into absurdly named categories:
Skills You'll Regret
Food You Can't Digest But Will Try Anyway
Items for That One Situation You Swear Will Happen
Fanservice Filters
Reality Mods: Please Read the Disclaimer
---
[Deadpool's Section]
Deadpool scrolled through the shop like it was eBay after three Red Bulls.
> "Ooooh, what's this?
'Banana Gun: Shoots potassium and sexual tension.'
...Instant buy."
Kazuma:
> "What the hell is 'Lingerie of Stealth +3' and why is it in my cart?!"
System:
> "You subconsciously clicked it."
Kazuma:
> "LIES!"
---
[Esdeath's Wishlist]
Esdeath stared coldly at her chosen items:
"Freezer Throne – Ice-Makes You Look Important"
"Dungeon Torture Pack (SFW edition)"
"Leadership Aura: +5 Dom Mommy Energy"
Artoria:
> "Have you considered something… recreational?"
Esdeath:
> "Torture is recreational."
Tsunade (sipping wine):
> "You need therapy."
---
[Rimuru's Section – Chaos in Blob Form]
Rimuru (bouncing):
> "Oh my god, there's a cooking slime mode! I can infuse meals with traits like 'Spicy,' 'Healing,' or 'Mildly Existential!'"
Buggy:
> "I just bought a cannon that fires insults."
Deadpool:
> "That's a megaphone with extra steps."
---
[Batman's Purchase History]
Fury:
> "Why do you have twenty of these 'Universal Anti-God Contingency Plans'?"
Batman (coldly):
> "I prefer to plan ahead."
MC (peeking):
> "Is that a Batarang that erases plot armor?"
Batman:
> "Yes."
Everyone Else:
> "..."
---
[Saitama's Entire Page]
System:
> "You already one-shot the shop with your credit card. Please stop trying to punch discounts."
Saitama:
> "I just want to buy a better conditioner."
---
[Tsunade's Shopping Basket]
"Sake That Hits Back"
"Spa of Infinite Soaks"
"Senju Medical Kit (Limited Edition with gamble dice motif)"
Tsunade:
> "Self-care is war preparation."
---
[Artoria's Shelf]
Artoria (stoic):
> "I have purchased a teapot… and a field of lilies."
Kazuma:
> "That's suspiciously wholesome."
Artoria (sipping with deadly grace):
> "Would you like a pastry or a sword to the throat?"
Kazuma:
> "I'll take both."
---
[00:30 – Work-Life Balance Roundtable]
Everyone gathered on beanbags.
MC (calmly):
> "We've had three high-tier missions, nine near-death experiences, and forty-two jokes about underwear.
Now we rest.
Everyone: one week in your homeworlds. Relax. Reconnect. Train. Recharge."
Deadpool:
> "What about anime binges?"
MC:
> "Approved."
Esdeath:
> "What about purging rebellion?"
MC:
> "Temporarily disapproved."
Buggy:
> "What if we cause small, marketable chaos?"
MC:
> "…Fine."
---
[System Notification]
> All Members Granted "Work-Life Balance Bonus Pack!"
Includes:
1x "Multiversal Chill Ticket"
1x "Mood Stabilizing Bubble Tea (Flavor of Personality)"
1x "Random Fun Item"
(Deadpool got a flamethrower that shoots glitter. Kazuma got a dating sim for frogs.)
---
[MC's Reflection]
As the others dispersed into shimmering gates to their homeworlds, MC lingered behind.
The lounge quieted.
He stared out a window into swirling stars and corrupted threads far away.
> "We're not just warriors now.
We're anchors.
If the group loses itself, so will the world."
Behind him, a small tea tray appeared—Artoria's doing.
A note read:
> Even kings rest. So should shadows.
He smiled faintly.
---