> "I trained for three years to become strong.
Now I can't beat a parking ticket."
— Saitama, standing outside his former apartment with a coupon and no hope
---
[Location: City Z – Post-Multiversal Absence]
Saitama came back expecting to resume his normal routine:
Grocery sales,
Afternoon naps,
Maybe punch a beetle monster or two.
Instead, he returned to:
An eviction notice stuck to his door with duct tape,
All his stuff neatly boxed and labeled "BALD THREATS,"
And his landlord reclassified his apartment as "a historical crater."
Landlord (angrily):
> "You've been gone for months! Do you know how many monsters nested in your bathroom?!"
Saitama:
> "I was saving the multiverse."
Landlord:
> "Not on my property, you weren't."
---
[Morning – Homeless Hero Hours]
He wandered aimlessly, carrying a grocery bag with exactly:
One leek
A half-priced meat bun
And a sadness coupon that said "Buy One Meaning, Get One Crisis Free"
He visited Genos, but Genos was off on a "soul-searching pilgrimage involving volcanoes."
He sat on a park bench. A duck pecked his foot.
Saitama:
> "Even the duck disrespects me."
---
[Afternoon – Chat Ping While Lying On a Bench Like a Depressed Potato]
Saitama (typing slowly):
> "I got evicted."
Deadpool:
> "You can crash at my place. Just ignore the weapons cache and emotional baggage."
Kazuma:
> "Want to trade places? My frogs started charging rent."
Rimuru:
> "I built you a slime pod home. Comes with AC and dramatic door whooshes."
MC:
> "You're still the anchor. Even without a roof."
Saitama:
> "...Thanks.
Also I think I punched God."
---
[Flashback – Five Minutes Earlier]
Saitama sneezed near a suspicious floating figure giving a speech about divine justice and infinite judgment.
He mistook it for a sales scam.
He punched it.
Now there's a divine vacancy in Sector 7 of the Celestial Bureaucracy.
Oops.
---
[Evening – Ramen Shop of Enlightenment]
He ate quietly.
Cheap miso ramen. No toppings. No recognition.
And for once…
He didn't mind.
> "Maybe saving worlds isn't about punches.
Maybe it's about… paying rent on time."
Then he saw a monster crawl out of the alley.
He punched it.
System Notification:
> Trait Gained: "Humble Housing Instinct (Lv.1)" – You always find a place to crash, punch, or nap in. May attract stray cats and confused gods.
---
End of Chapter 37: Saitama