So, I met this guy named Sterling. Pharmaceutical sales rep. Good job, great smile, polished manners. He had that kind of quiet confidence that didn't feel arrogant, just practiced. Smooth. He was the kind of guy who said all the right things without sounding like he rehearsed them.
We went out a few times before it happened. Coffee. Dinner. A walk at sunset, where we traded stories and casually bumped shoulders like a scene from a movie. He was easy to be around. Charming in a "you could introduce him to your mom" kind of way. I never felt pressured. Never felt unsafe.
So when he invited me to a party at his apartment complex, open bar, games, food, music, I didn't hesitate. I figured I was playing it smart. We were in public. I'd been around him. He was safe.
It was a beautiful night. We joked about the playlist, people-watched, and got food from the grill. Sterling offered to get me a drink. I said yes without thinking twice.
It was sweet. Peach, maybe mango. Something bright and summery. I sipped it while we laughed at a guy trying to flirt with two girls at once near the cornhole boards. I remember thinking how nice it was to have a date that didn't feel like a test or a performance. Just… simple.
About thirty minutes in, I started to float. Then sink. My head spun. My skin felt too hot. My stomach? Gone.Sterling looked at me and said, "Oh. You look bad."(Thanks, Prince Charming.)
By this point, I'm starting to feel like I've been hit by a freight train. I'm flushed and disoriented, and he's still hovering around me, suggesting we head up to his apartment. I'm like, "No thanks, I don't want to ruin the fun!" But as the minutes tick by, I'm completely drenched in sweat, and it feels like the ground is shifting beneath me.
After about 20 minutes of him persistently trying to convince me to go upstairs, I finally give in. But as I stand up, my head starts to spin. I have to grab onto the table to steady myself, and my instincts kick in hard. Alarm bells are ringing in my head like a 2 a.m. fire drill: "NO NO NO NO NO!" I'm mumbling a frantic "no, no, no" under my breath.
I grab my keys and phone, and after a bit of a standoff with him, I manage to break free and bolt. I can feel panic setting in, but I know I need to get out of there. I drive a whopping two blocks to the nearest gas station, feeling like I'm in some sort of survival movie.
At the gas station, I stumble inside like I've just emerged from a horror movie set. I grab two bottles of water, chugging half of one like it's the antidote to a bad date. Then, in a moment of desperation and survival instinct, I make myself puke. Nothing like a good purge to clear out whatever dubious cocktail my charming date slipped me.
Once that's done, I collapse back into my car, drenched in sweat and panic, feeling like I just escaped a creepy villain's lair. I finish off the second bottle of water while trying to wrap my head around what just happened. I mean, I went from free food and games to a gas station horror story, and all I could think was, What in the actual hell was that?
As I sit there, tears welling up in my eyes, glancing around the empty parking lot, half-expecting my not-so-great date to appear, wielding a drink laced with something sinister. I imagine him lurking in the shadows, watching me with a creepy smile, saying, "But I was just trying to take you upstairs!"
I felt stupid.Embarrassed.Scared.
Sterling drugged me. And I almost didn't realize it.
But everything had seemed so normal.
And that's what scared me the most.
He didn't drag me. He didn't yell. He didn't raise a fist.And that's what makes it so dangerous.He didn't need to. Because whatever he put in that drink, it was working.I don't remember everything. But I remember the knowing.That this man, this charming, well-dressed, "safe" man, wasn't safe at all.And I got out. I got out.
My body knew!
And that knowing, the gut-level panic in a situation that looked so safe on the surface, was enough to unravel me.
I know now what I didn't let myself say back then.He drugged me.Maybe he was waiting for me to pass out. Maybe he just wanted me quiet. Still. Easy.I don't know.But I know what my body knew.And I'm proud of her.I'm proud of the way my feet moved before my brain caught up.I'm proud I didn't stay upstairs.I'm proud I listened to the no pulsing through every cell of me.
Because the truth is—Not all monsters growl.Some smile.Some open doors.Some hand you a drink.And they wait.Not for a yes.But for the moment your body forgets how to say no..