"So, you two're pirates?" the pirate said. Lucy had jumped down to the deck and sat on the other side of the railing beside me.
"Yeah!" she said happily.
"Then why'd you attack the restaurant?" Sanji wondered in confusion, now out of ero-cook mode since I hit him upside the head for it.
"Ah, that was an accident!"
"My captain was defending the ship and her hand slipped, causing her to fling the Marine's cannonball at the Baratie instead of back at them," I explained to Sanji and our friend the starving pirate, although it looked like they weren't quite following.
"The hell does that mean?" Sanji grumbled. "Anyways, you'd better not do anything else to this place. The head chef here was once a chef on a notorious pirate ship."
"Seeing as how Lucy-chan's Chore Girl? You'd better get used to mass chaos," I told him.
"Hey? So that old man was a pirate?" said Lucy, completely ignoring me and looking off into the horizon, as though imagining Zeff kicking the Grand Line's ass. I have to admit, it was a funny vision, imagining that.
"For that crap geezer, this restaurant is worth more than any treasure to me, and I'd even give up sailing with ladies as beautiful as you two," the ero-cook said to us.
"And those cooks who came after his fame were once fierce pirates. Well, the pirates in these parts often come to this place."
"Yeah, this place never seems to lack a dull moment!" the straw-hatted captain laughed happily.
"It's a pretty fun place," I agreed, "If you ignore the jerkish personalities of some of the other chefs. And the random collapsing ceilings."
"Pheh. It's not that bad. I'm used to it," muttered Sanji. "The ceiling doesn't usually collapse. And recently, most of the people only come to watch the cooks and pirates brawl it out. But the fighting also scares away all of the part-time waiters."
"Oh, that explains it." Lucy grinned, obviously happy that her small brain had managed to actually figure something out. "No wonder he wants me to work here for a whole year!"
I choked. I'd known it already from watching the anime, but hearing it in real life was something else. "A... A whole year?" I said, my jaw dropping. My eye twitched. "That's overkill..."
"Hey, join us!" Lucy asked Sanji.
Sanji frowned. "As much as I'd love to, I already told you, I can't. I refuse. I have my reasons why I must remain here."
I snorted. "You think that because the geezer saved your life, that means you have to stay here helping him out and you can't follow your dreams, huh? What a stupid reason. He saved you so you could follow your dreams, you know."
The chef was so surprised he nearly dropped his cigarette. "Wha... How'd you...?"
"Told you, I'm a psychic."
Lucy stretched her neck and looked at him face-to-face, though upside down. "NO! I refuse!" she exclaimed.
Sanji blinked and blushed, because their faces were so close. "...Eh? Refuse what?"
"I refuse your refusal! You're a good cook, so come be a pirate with me!"
I shook my head and facepalmed. Lucy logic. Go figure.
Sanji turned and glared at her. Whoa... Sanji glaring at a girl! That's one for the history books. "Hey now, you listen to me!"
"So what's this reason of yours?"
"I already said it, Lucy-chan," I sighed. "You were ignoring me as usual."
"I don't need to tell you."
Lucy pouted in confusion. "Eh? Didn't you say you wanted me to listen to you?" I have to admit, the two things he'd said didn't coincide very well together...
A small tic mark pulsed on Sanji's forehead. "I meant that you must accept my decision!"
"EH? WHAT'D YOU SAY!?" My captain fumed.
"Yare yare," I sighed. That's the Japanese phrase for anything like my, my .
"Sorry to interrupt, but..." the pirate Sanji had saved interrupted.
"WHAT?!" Lucy and her future chef snapped. I sweatdropped.
"I'm part of the Krieg Pirates. The name's Gin. So, you're Pirate too, eh?" said the pirate, Gin. "What's your goal?"
Lucy smiled. "I'm looking for One Piece! I'm gonna be Queen of the Pirates! I'm headed for the Grand Line."
Gin stared. "You're still looking for a cook... Your crew must be quite small."
"Yeah. We've got six, counting him."
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU COUNTING ME IN?" Sanji and I shouted in unison. We blinked at each other.
"You look like decent people, so let me give you a piece of advice," the previously-starving man said. He wiped the remnants of his meal off the corners of his mouth, his look becoming serious. "You'd better not go to the Grand Line. You're still young. There's no need to rush. The Grand Line is only a small part of the world's vast oceans. If you wanna be a pirate, there are many less intimidating places."
"Is that so," Lucy grinned. "So do you know anything about the Grand Line, Gin?"
I sighed and rubbed my head. "As if intimidation would stop Lucy."
Gin shook his head. His expression grew slowly ashen, as if he was remembering something terrible. "No. I don't know anything about it... Nothing, nothing at all! That's why it's so scary!"
Sanji looked at him dubiously. "Are you really one of the dreaded Krieg's men? I didn't think he'd take such chickens."
"Yup," I confirmed. "He is."
"Krieg?" asked Lucy, confused.
I got up from the railing, leaving Lucy, Sanji, and Gin to their conversation. "Well, I'm hungry. I'm getting something to eat."
They all ignored me.
Whatever.
When I got back with the other Straw Hats, Nami glared at me and bopped me on the head a couple of times, looking more like a shark than a human. She chewed me out for attacking the chef while Usopp sank lower in his seat, probably hoping the navigator wouldn't suddenly decide to turn her anger on him for some reason.
After Nami's anger faded, she looked at me sadly. "From what you said, it sounded like you were speaking from experience," she muttered.
"I was," I said grimly, nursing the new bumps on my head. "A few weeks after the start of my life on the streets, I ran out of money and began starving. It's... truly the worst experience ever. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."
Things were pretty melancholic after that until a chef/waiter came and took our orders.
"You've got stuffed peppers with sea king meat?" I said, raising an eyebrow while looking at the menu. "Huh. Guess I'll take that, then." Two years ago, stuffed peppers had been my favorite meal, and I was interested to see what sea king meat tasted like. While I was in this world, I might as well go with the flow.
A short while after our food came, and let me just say that sea king meat is 100 times better than any other meat I've ever had, Nami spotted Lucy on the spiral staircase above us.
"Hey, waiter girl!" she chortled.
Lucy stopped walking, blinked, and glared at us. "Oi! It's you guys!"
I had been taking a swig of lemonade, easily the best drink in the world, and spat out the drink in my mouth all over Zoro, who had the misfortune of being sat directly opposite me. He glared at me and said something, but I was so shocked I didn't hear what he said. Because Lucy... Lucy...
Oh, gods, Lucy, why?!
She had on a French maid uniform that had a button down, revealing some of her cleavage. My first impression of her had been correct: She definitely had a sizable chest. I felt my face heat up a little and quickly looked away.
"I heard you had to work for a whole year!" Nami continued. "But, man is that dress cute!"
"Can I redraw our pirate flag?" Zoro teased.
I shook myself out of my somewhat perverted stupor, leaned back in my chair, and took another swig of my lemonade. "I wonder how many people you'll have to serve, huh?" And I don't mean that kind of service, people! Minds out of the gutter, honestly!
"W-w-w-what's this?!" our captain gasped in disbelief. "You all stuff yourselves with such great food while I'm not around?! THAT HURTS!"
"Not really, it's our free will," Zoro chuckled.
She stuck a finger up her nose, dug out a booger, and flicked it into his water. "Take that!"
I only barely held back my laughter, as did Usopp and Nami. I think I cracked a couple ribs!
"But I've gotta admit, the food here's great," the swordsman chucked, reaching for his glass and slowly bringing it to his lips. My lungs were threatening to burst with the effort of not laughing. "I feel kinda sorry for ya..." Suddenly, he grabbed Lucy by the neck and forced her to drink the water, a tic mark pulsing on the back of his head. "YOU DRINK IT!" he exploded.
This was simply too much for the three of us. Laughter bubbled out of my mouth, and Nami was laughing so hard she was even slapping the table. Usopp guffawed and pointed at the Marimo and the captain, holding his side. I was literally crying with mirth. Lucy rolled around on the floor.
"YOU, TOO!? WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO PULL?" Zoro roared.
"My stomach's aching!" Lucy exclaimed.
A few of the other customers near us stared at our table, some of them giving us weird looks and others smiling with us.
"Oh, Mother Ocean!" a familiar voice said. I immediately stopped laughing and a tic mark pulsed on the back of my head, even bigger than Zoro's. "Thank you for arranging this encounter today!" It was Sanji, kneeling down next to Nami, who stopped laughing and leaned away with a startled 'Eh?!,' and producing a rose from who-knows-where. "Oh, my love!" He put his hand into his face and shook it as though in resignation. "Go on, laugh at me. I, who can't bear torture. As long as I'm with you and your two beautiful crewmates, it does not matter if I'm pirates or a devil... MY HEART'S READY AS CAN BE!" He looked up with a perverted grin, his eyes, or rather eye since his left one was hidden behind his hair, now heart-shaped.
I burst out laughing again. Well, he did say we could laugh at him... Lucy looked like she didn't know what to think, and Zoro, standing next to her, was looking at the cook with bafflement. The hopeless case simply didn't know what picks-her-nose-while-she's-talking-to-you, able-to-fart-the-alphabet Lucy was actually like.
"But this is horrible! There's such a great obstacle between us!" he continued obliviously.
"The obstacle is me, right?" growled Zeff, who stepped up to us, his peg leg tapping against the floor. "Sanji."
The chef's eye immediately went back to normal. "The damn old man," he grumbled.
"This is just great," said Zeff. Man was his chef's hat long... "Why don't you just run off and be a pirate just like them? We don't need you here anymore!"
Sanji glared at him.
Ouch. That was rough.