I turn off my phone and turn it upside down so I'm not tempted to answer. I leer around my room at the moving boxes still stacked to the ceiling. '"I miss you." Yeah, right.' It's been two weeks since I fully moved out of our shared house. Three weeks and two days since we've broken up, but it's not like I'm actually counting or anything. He hasn't checked on me once, and hasn't spoken to me since the night I returned my house key to him. I look at the empty picture frame I have sitting beside my bed. It once housed a picture of Austin and I on our first date. We went to the bowling alley since it was so close to campus. I meant to replace the photo of one with Ethan and I, but haven't had the chance to get one printed because of work. I tried to shove my pain away by overworking myself. I've been picking up any hours I could. I figured if my professional life was in order then it wouldn't matter that the rest of my life is in shambles.
Ethan forced me to go out last night because all I've done is go to work, come back here and sleep. I didn't go to the gym like I liked, only eating when my head started hurting. I haven't been on the internet since the break up either. Clear signs of depression, I recognize that, but I also desperately needed to isolate myself for a while. Simply living was a tedious task the past month. I stared up at the ceiling and the feelings of worthlessness filled my heart. 'If he had messaged me last night, would I have gone to him? Probably. I was lonely last night….' I felt the tears that were held back earlier start to flow full force. 'And I'm really lonely right now.'
I feel Usagi jump onto the bed and plop right beside my arms. I hug her into me and she lets out a small meow in protest, but allows me to cuddle her anyway. "I love you, Usagi." I whisper to her as I feel my heavy eyelids close as I sob. 'I'm so pathetic, I can't believe I almost crawled into bed with Theodore when I still have all of these lingering feelings about Auss. That's not fair to him.' I allow my mind to wonder as I try to process everything. 'I'm not ready for another relationship. At least, not so soon and most definitely not when my world falls apart from a single text.' I start to drift off, the exhaustion finally hitting me. 'Being friends with Theo should be fine. I'll just let what I felt last night be a dream.'
Junior year of college was rough, I had my career specific classes to take and they filled the majority of my time. When I wasn't sleeping or eating, I was studying. Well, mostly eating and studying. I wasn't sleeping much because I still lived in the dorms at the time. People at that age don't realize just how loud they actually are. While everyone was partying and having fun, I was stuck pouring myself into my studies just to keep my GPA up enough to keep my scholarships. I think my personality slowly changed that year from the consistent exhaustion that plagued my body. I was blunt with everyone, Ethan included. I didn't mean to be a bitch, but the lack of sleep and the continuous mountain of school work I had to finish at all times caused me to always be on edge. That's when people in my major started avoiding me, calling me a bitch. Which, to be honest, I was.
There was only one person who didn't outright ignore me. Austin Wakefield.
He transferred into our major during the spring semester, which means he didn't see my full-blown breakdown I had after fall exams. It wasn't pretty from what Ethan has told me. My memory of it is still foggy, I think my brain wants to block out that trauma. Ethan wouldn't leave my side and started to watch over me closely for a long time after that.
From what I picked up from hearing my peers gossip was that Austin came from a well off family who were well known in the area, which would explain why he was constantly wearing name brand clothes. He was your typical jock type, light brown hair that was always groomed perfectly, tall, not super tall, but still a lot taller than me, and was well built from football practice. He had that personality that made everyone around him either want to be him or be friends with him. I was no exception to that, I just didn't want to make it obvious like everyone else did.
The first time he tried talking to me when he sat next to me during a lecture, which he was late arriving at. I usually sat in the back row so if I did accidentally fall asleep, it would go unnoticed. That day my exhaustion hit its peak, my neighbors at the dorms were up all night banging. I didn't realize someone could moan so loud or repeat the same words over and over again. Our walls at the dorms were paper thin, so I got a surround sound experience of their love making.
I rested my head on my hand as I wrote my notes and highlighted what I thought to be important. Suddenly I felt Austin's breath on my neck as he leaned over into my ear. "Hey I'm sorry, I was running late, what'd I miss?" His cheery voice brought me nothing but annoyance from my lack of sleep. I just slid my notes over to him and pointed to the sections he needed to copy. "Shit, these notes are awesome!" He proclaimed really loudly, his voice echoing through the lecture hall. "Fuck yeah!"
The seasoned professor turned around and scanned the crowd for the culprit. When he couldn't find the source, he cleared his throat loudly. "Ahem, if you think you have enough time to chat during my lecture, then clearly you haven't taken one of my classes before. I suggest you focus on my presentation instead of running your mouth."
I watched Austin's cocky attitude shrink as he looked down to my notes. I put my focus back on the lecture, glad he didn't bring unnecessary attention to us. I hated being the center of attention. My attire and attitude did that enough. I had bright red hair at that time, and was supposed to be blue, but the box had lied to me. I continued with my notes on a separate page of my notebook. At the time I was too tired to tell or to care that we were practically leaning on each other. Only once he was done copying my notes did he scoot away, wafting the strong smell of AXE body spray. I was taken aback by how much I enjoyed the smell and realized then that I might have an obsession with clean scented people. We sat there quietly, absorbed in the lecture and our notes.
"Hey, your name's Natalie, right?" He whispered, breaking the silence between us.
I peeked over to him, not moving my head away from the lecture. "Yeah, how'd ya know?"
"Well, you're kinda famous in the college of business. Everyones always talking about you."
"All good things, I'm sure." I scoffed, returning my focus to the powerpoint on the screen.
"I'm Austin by the way." He said, holding out his hand.
I ignored his gesture as I continued with my notes. "I know." As I say it, I notice the harshness in my voice. "You're quite famous yourself, you know?" I say trying to smooth out the bitchiness I knew was in my tone. I felt his eyes on me as I continued to write. "Why ya staring at me? You know these lectures are going to be on the exam right?"
He shrugs. "I'll just borrow notes from someone, if I miss something. No big deal."
I rolled my eyes at his comment. "I'm glad you have friends to help, but some of us don't, so please stop talking to me."
He leaned in close and whispered into my ear. "Maybe if you weren't so bitter with people you could have some friends."
For some reason, his comment hit a nerve. I turned to him, glaring. "Maybe if fuck boys like you didn't fuck until the brink of dawn, I could get some sleep and I wouldn't be such a bitch." I rant in a hushed whisper, causing a couple of people in front of us to turn their heads. I wave my hand at them in an apologetic gesture.
"I never called you a bitch, you put that word in my mouth. It's also rude of you to just assume I'm a fuck boy."
"Rude of you to assume I'm always this harsh." I tapped my pencil on my notebook, irritated. "I don't know how everyone else isn't."
"So you do admit to being harsh?"
I went back to my notes and ignored his question. "Do you ever shut up?" I scoffed under a mumbled breath.
As the lecture went on we didn't talk again. Part of the way through, I felt my eyes grow as heavy as lead. I closed my eyes to get a second of relief, but without realizing it, I had fallen asleep. I snap up and look around to find the lecture hall empty, not even the professor staying. I curse myself as I put my head in my hands. I knew that particular lecture was extremely important. My heart sunk deep down into my stomach when I tried coming up with a way to get the notes. When I peeked beside me my notebook was in the spot where Austin was sitting. When I slid the notebook over to me, there was a sticky note stuck to the outside.
My notes might not be as good as yours, but these should still help. I'm sorry my friend and I kept you up all night. I thought we were being quiet. Hopefully next time I keep you awake it won't be through a friend.
Call me, we can study together. That's what everyone else does so we don't lose our minds.
XXX-XXXX-XXXX -Auss
I still have that sticky note somewhere. I get really sentimental when it comes to little things like that. After that we started studying together. He introduced me to the study group for our major, who all worked together to make the workload manageable. Back then, that was the sign to me that I had to have this person in my life to progress with my future. He was my savior from losing my mind and the reason everyone stopped avoiding me. About a year later, we started dating. I was blinded by love and innocence that I confessed my feelings for him. It was my first relationship after all so I thought it would never end and felt I gave him my all.
I'm awoken by Ethan flinging my comforter off of me. I peer up at him through the haze of being half awake and my eyes being dry from the crying. He stares down at me with his hands on his hips, impatience radiating from him with a dense aura.
"Good morning, glad ya made it home safe." I greet him, half awake.
"Morning? It's almost three o'clock! The person who's usually up before the birds, is still asleep in the afternoon! I thought you were dead or something when you didn't answer me when I was calling out to you!" He lectures me, the glare from his glasses shining in my eyes as he thrashes about. He tugs my arm, pulling me out of bed. I just slumped into him, still not fully awake. "I got you food and you got tea to give me. Both are getting cold and it's driving me nuts." He forcibly drags me out of my room and sets me on the couch.
The bright sun shining through our sheared light blue curtains causes me to squint as I look around. I glanced up to Ethan and noticed what he was wearing. He's in a forest green sweatshirt that fits him perfectly, the bottom of the sweatshirt is tucked neatly into his white jeans. I'm jealous he gets to wear white without the fear of randomly starting. I also don't know how he wears sweats and jeans in the midst of summer. I peek up to his beige colored face and he's wearing thin, black rectangle rimmed glasses with a silver chain hanging from them that's connected to his small gauges. His platinum undercut styled with the top hanging to the right side. Apparently his good side.
"Well don't you look cute~ I like the fit." I say as I smile at him, slowly becoming aware of my surroundings.
"Thanks babes, but I need you to wake up so we can debrief each other about last night." He says as he claps his hands at me.
I wave my hands at him as I lean back into the couch. "Alright, sunshine. Give me some coffee and like, ten minutes to become human again."
"Already ready for you, hurry up, you zombie!" He says as he hands me a starbucks cup. I look at the side to see what he got me. caffé mocha, two extra shots of mocha, almond milk instead of whole, whip cream and chocolate drizzle as the topping. I smile as I read the label. 'He knows me so well. I love him.'
I nurse my coffee as Ethan paces back and forth, looking like a child on Christmas morning, waiting to open their presents from Santa. I point to the bean bag across from me. "Please sit down before you have a stroke." Feeling somewhat like a human again I rub my face with my hand. "Why don't you go first? I'm awake enough to listen to you. You clearly have tea that you need to get out."
"Oh do I!" He quickly plops down into the bean bag and stretches his long legs out in front of him. He smacks his thighs as if they were drums. "I've had to hold it in since I got back at one! I can't take it!" He yells, filled to the brim with excitement. "He was so funny last night! Just the kyutest too!" He giggles as he is ready to relay everything to me.
I winced at his voice, it felt like it was coming at me like a bullhorn. "You mean Chad?" I raise my eyebrows as I sip on my coffee.
"His name is Jake, he's originally from Florida, but transferred here to get a fresh start. He's still in college, which is why his frat was with him last night. They're partying through their summer! Which is what I think we need to do to get you back on your feet!" He rambles, not expecting a response from me. "He was so sweet the whole night, making sure neither me or his friends got too plastered. When I told him a bit about your situation he wanted to invite you to come along with us, to keep you company, but you had already left the club." He gushes, dancing from side to side. "His friend's were so cool, I bet if you wanted to date one of them, they'd love you in a heartbeat."
"I'm good." I dismissed his suggestion of dating one of the copies by shaking my hands. "I think I need to be single for a while, but I'm glad you had fun last night."
His smile fades a little. "Come on, girly. You can't give up on love like that."
"I'm not giving up on it, I'm… just taking a break."
"Is it still because of Austin?"
I look down avoiding his eyes, knowing the concern that's going to be in it. "I just feel like I haven't had enough time to grieve the life I thought I was going to have."
"What about last night? It's not like you to go home with someone you just met." I feel my face redden as I remember my night with Theodore. "Oh. My. God!" Ethan claps his hands together with excitement. "Are you blushing? You never blush!" He kicked his feet gleefully. "Awh, did someone finally sweep you off your feet?"
I cough trying to hide my embarrassment. "I-I don't know, it was just very easy going. I just felt like we were the only two in the world last night. He made me forget about everything that was troubling me." I fiddle with my now empty coffee cup. "It all felt so effortless. Like we didn't have to put on airs around each other."
"Awe girly, it sounds like you met someone who got you right away. For you, that's pretty rare. You're kind of like a Tootsie Pop, ya gotta hard shell, but a nice and gooey inside." He smiles brightly at me. "What's his name?"
"Theodore" I say meekly. I start to relay the events of last night and as I'm talking, it feels like I'm performing in front of an audience because of Ethan's constant cheers, and gasps as he walks laps around the room.
"And you still want to remain single, even after meeting someone who actually treats you like a human being? He sounds perfect to me, minus his evil twin."
"He's not evil, I just think he also has a lot going on." He nods as he urges me to answer his question. I let out a long sigh. "I don't think I'm ready to jump into a new relationship yet, I mean when I got Austin's text this morning-"
Ethan raises his hand to stop me. "Austin texted you? You don't have that bastard blocked?"
"No, I don't think you need to block someone just because you broke up."
"Ughhh." He groans in protest. "What did he say?" He put his head into his hands.
"That he misses me…" I trail off "and that we should meet up and talk."
Ethan snaps his head up. "And what did you say?"
I shook my head. "I haven't responded. I turned my phone off because I didn't want to think about it."
He lets out a sigh as he stands up from his seat and sits beside me on the couch. He grabs onto my shoulder and brings me in for a hug. "I know, it must have torn ya up to receive a message from him after everything he said last time." I lean my head on his shoulder. "I don't want you to take this as me telling you what to do, because that's not how I'm meaning it. I don't think you should meet with him alone."
I look down and watch Usagi walk past. "It's not like he became dangerous just because he said some hateful things in the heat of the moment."
"Uuugh" I feel Ethan groan from the bottom of his soul. He takes a moment to recompose himself before he speaks. "How about I ask it like this? What do you want to gain from meeting up with him? Do you want to try getting back together?" He peeks down at me as he waits on my reply. I think on it for a good while before answering.
'If I were to get back together with Austin, nothing would change. I can't be the girl he wants me to be and he doesn't respect me enough to work on things. We had a lot of good times, but they're not worth going through this again.'
"No, I don't want to be with him anymore. Clearly I wasn't enough for him and that's fine. I didn't like how he went about telling me, but no one's perfect." I fiddle with my fingernails as I continue. "I do miss our friendship though, we were friends for a while before we started dating."
Ethan stays quiet for a moment, which is rare for him. "So you want to be friends with your ex? Who cheated? You know throughout history that always ends up messy."
I shrug at his question. "We clearly had problems as a couple, but I don't see why that should affect us having a platonic relationship. All that care we felt for each other couldn't have just disappeared over a couple of weeks."
He pats my head. "Was it care, or was it possessiveness? At least on his part. He couldn't let you hang with anyone he disapproved of. I figure the only reason he didn't make you stop talking to me was because he assumed I'm gay. Which is half true, but clearly he didn't like you getting close with other men. He didn't let you get close to any of his friends, which is weird." He leans the side of his head on mine. "I'm glad you decided to not get back with him, but I want you to be careful. My gut doesn't trust him."
Suddenly a rumble came from his stomach, as if responding. I poked his side causing him to wince. "Your gut has a lot to say right now." I laugh at him.
"Remember when I said I brought food? I just remembered I was hungry." He chuckles and drags me to the kitchen. Sitting on the stove was a pizza box from the local restaurant we religiously go to. "I figured you would have a hangover so I got your favorite morning after food."
My mouth waters as he opens the lid and the smell of pepperonis and banana peppers hits my nose. I know that half of the pizza was solely for himself, it was covered in vegetables. I quickly grab a piece and shove the corner into my mouth. As I bite down and pull the piece away, a string of cheese trails off of my mouth. "Mmm, just what I needed." I say through bites. I had just realized, half an order of fries, hours ago was not enough to fill me. I look over and he's already on his second piece as he leans onto the counter.
He glances over to me with concern. "Really quick about Austin." I slow down my eating as I listen to him. "If you do decide to meet him, promise me you'll meet him in a public space. You don't want to be tricked into a booty call. Also keep your phone on and charged, I don't want your location to disappear like last night. Also, don't completely write off this new dude yet."
I nod in agreement to his lecture. "Yes mom." I tease.
He pats me on my head as he walks past. "Love ya, kiddo." His tall, slender frame reminds me how much I hate how he looks good in anything he wears. I'm short and curvy so my clothing choices are very limited. "Now, let's chill before we have to go right back to work!" He raises his arms in a victory pose.
I followed him to the couch where we binged watched a full season of American Horror Story. 'Gods I love Lady Gaga.'
A couple of days have passed since then and I have yet to message Theodore. I was waiting until my meeting with Austin happened so I could fully put our relationship in the past. We decided to meet at a local coffee shop to have our talk. It will be after I get off work, since that's the only time that worked for the best for both of us.
Between assignments at work I decided I should check how much I have in my bank account after drinking. When my account loads, it shows no charges were taken out of my card. I have my card in my wallet so I know I closed out. I decide to give the bar a call, I would feel horrible if I stiff them out of their money. It takes a few rings before someone answers.
"Thank you for calling "The Loophole", Ashley speaking, what can I do for you?" A cheery voice hums over the phone. I know from just that voice it was the bartender with the sparkled ass cheeks.
"Um, yes," I hate making phone calls, I always sound stiff. "I was there this past Friday and I was just looking at my bank statement and noticed I wasn't charged for my drinks. I have my card, so I wanted to make sure I paid my bill."
I hear sounds of her rummaging through something. "What's your name, sweety?"
'Yep, definitely the same girl.' I clear my voice. "Natalie Gardner. I was the one in all black if that helps."
"Oh!" She squeaks. "I remember you, girl. You were sitting with that sexy rich guy, right?"
"Y-yeah." I respond shyly.
"He paid your bill for you, so you're good. Was that all I could help you with?"
'He paid for my drinks and still didn't expect to get anything in return.' I peek at his business card that I had stuck into my wallet. "Do you mind telling me how much the bill was? I want to make sure I can pay him back."
She laughs in confusion. "Girl, not trying to get in your business, but I don't think you need to worry about that. If a rich man wants to pay for your drinks, let him. Your bill wasn't more than twenty bucks anyhow. I'm sure he sneezes into twenties as tissue paper." I hear someone call out to her through the phone. "Well, I hope you have a nice day!" She hangs up and my phone beeps, letting me know the call ended.
I lean back in my office chair, putting my phone down. 'I know you're not supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I don't feel right having someone paying for my stuff like that. It doesn't matter that they can do so comfortably.' I take the business card out of my wallet and punch his number into my phone. I look at my phone for a while, trying to think of what to write.
Me:
Hey, this is Natalie from the other night. I was wondering if I could get your Cash app or something.
I wanted to pay you back for my drinks.
I stared at my phone for a long period of time before I got a work email I had to respond to. By the time I was done, my phone buzzed with a notification. It felt like my heart skipped a beat as I read his name.
Theodore:
Well, hello Natalie. You made me think you were never going to contact me. Remember when I said I would be counting the seconds? Well those seconds turned into three days.
As for paying me back for your drinks, don't worry about it. You paid
me back tenfold with your company the other night.
Not saying, you owed me your time to pay for the drinks either.
Or that I accept your company as payment.
I laugh to myself as I see he's overthinking again.
Me:
Sorry it took me so long, I didn't know how to start a conversation out of the blue. I also assume you're a busy man, who doesn't have much time on your hands.
I just didn't want you to feel like you had to pay for my drinks.
Theodore:
If it's to talk to you, I would make all the time in the world.
Next time, you can text me just cause. Tell me about the weather,
your cat or your day. The contents do not matter to me. As long as I can hear from you.
I don't have to do fuck all, if I do something, it's because I want to.
I look up and see the team lead glaring over to me.
Me:
Shit, my boss caught me texting instead of working.
Gtg ttyl!
I send quickly and throw my phone onto my desk. I'm sure I'll get an earful about it before I leave. I scoot up to my computer and start a new assignment.
By the time I finish my work it's four o'clock on the dot. 'Time to get this over with.' I pack up my stuff into my desk drawers and wipe everything down with a clorox wipe. I'm not a neat freak by any means, but I do like my work space to be the one clean spot in my life. I unlock my phone to check my messages.
Theodore:
Hope you didn't get into too much trouble texting me! Have a great day at work!
I smile as I send a crying emoji. Suddenly another notification popped up on my phone. My smile faded into nervousness.
Auss:
Hey, are you off yet? I'm close to the shop, but I can come get you if you're walking.
I look at the directions to the coffee shop. I picked this place because it was close enough to work and home. It's only a five minute walk from the office.
Me:
Just got off. It's fine, I can walk. I'll be there shortly.
I bring up Ethan's snap and shoot him a message too like I promised to do. I fix my black dress so there's no wrinkles from me sitting all day. I decided, since I had to look nice for work anyways, that I would put a little extra effort into my appearance today.
As I look at my reflection in the elevator, I double check my outfit. A black sundress that goes below the knees, black string sandals, and I put my hair into a black headband, giving my hair some volume. I kept my make up pretty simple because I didn't want to seem like I was trying too hard.
An idea popped into my head, and I didn't have enough reasons to not do it. I brought up my camera app on my phone, and striked a pose that made my breasts and legs look good. I snapped a picture and sent it to Theodore.
Me:
Escaped unharmed! Time to go home and relax!
I smile as I think about his reaction. I put my phone in my spiked purse and steady myself for this awkward conversation .
By the time I reached the restaurant, my nerves hit their peak. I could feel my knees shake as I walked as if I was balancing on a tightrope. I took a deep breath as I opened the door, a jingle of a bell announcing my entrance. The smell of coffee wafted out to me, making me take in the delectable aroma. 'Calm down, it's just Austin. I coach myself as I try shoving away Ethan's concerns. You know him, he's not going to do anything. I let out my breath. We're just having a conversation, that's all.'
I stood at the door and scanned the almost empty room for him. Suddenly, I notice a hand waving at me. I feel my breath still as our eyes meet. There he is, smiling and waving to me as if nothing had happened between the two of us. I can't tell if that makes me feel relieved or annoyed. His milk chocolate hair was framed perfectly around his sun tanned face in a wavy bob, it was almost as if a professional had placed every individual strand by hand for a photo shoot. He always boasted about wanting to be a model, but said he had too much intelligence for a brainless career. I never thought models were brainless, but didn't have enough reasons to argue with him about the topic. I don't pick battles that don't have a purpose.
He was wearing a white t-shirt that had the Adidas logo plastered above his right breast. He paired the shirt with a pair of tanned slacks, that I'm sure is high brand even though they just look like normal pants to me.
As I reached the table he was sitting at, he stood up to greet me. He leaned in with his arms held out for a hug, but I stepped away. He appeared hurt, but tried to hide it by running his hand through his hair, acting like he was embarrassed, but I knew he didn't feel that way. "Sorry about that, force of habit. I'll give you your space." He motioned to the booth for me to sit down. "Since I got here first, I went ahead and got you a cup of coffee. It's your favorite."
I sat down without saying anything and studied the side of the coffee, glancing at the label. Caramel Macchiato, iced with whole milk, with caramel drizzle as the topping. I scrunch my nose as I read the label. 'I hate both caramel and vanilla.' To not be hateful, I take out my wallet and see what cash I have. "Sorry, I only have a five I can pay you back with, you know I don't keep a lot of cash on me." I say as I try to hand him the money, but he just pushes it away as he sits back down.
"It's not a big deal, I'd be a sorry man if I couldn't pay for my girlfriend's coffee." He says as he brings his drink to his lips, which I know exactly what it is because he only drinks the same thing, a white chocolate, macadamia cold brew with extra ice and an extra pump of vanilla.
'Someone's favorite drink is something so easy to remember, but yet he couldn't.' I fumble with the coffee stirrer he gave me as a straw. 'At least he remembered I prefer drinking with a straw, I guess.' I look around the dark café. The atmosphere is calming with the lights dimmed and light jazz playing in the background. I like that you can look outside and watch people walk past. This place would be a nice spot to relax after work, if this conversation goes well, not too many people are here.
"Ex" I mumble under my breath as I take in my surroundings.
"Hmm?" He cleared his throat as he sat his drink down.
"Ex-Girlfriend you mean." I say shortly, looking back at him.
"Oh," His voice softened as he reached over to grab my arm. "Sorry, again, some habits are hard to break. Especially the ones you don't want to. I was hoping we could talk about that today, though."
I move my arm back and lean onto the back of my hand. "Why? Don't you have the perfect girlfriend now?" I noticed his posture tighten as the words left my mouth.
"I don't." He retracted his hand and tightened it into a fist. "I realized shortly after you moved out that you were the one for me, not her. I couldn't stop thinking about you, no matter what I did."
I bite my lip to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I peered into his deep green eyes with distrust. "That's why you haven't contacted me in almost a month?"
"I didn't know how to approach you after the awful things I said to you."
"Hm." I scoff at his answer. "Your phone seems to be working just fine."
"Hey," His voice turned stern at my words. "No need to be a bitch."
"There was no need for you to sneak behind my back and cheat either, but I guess we both don't have good control over our words nor actions." I lean more into my hand as I feel the resentment forming.
I almost jump out of my skin as he slams his open hands on the table. "As I tried to tell you whenever you bring it up, I didn't cheat. I just had an overwhelming crush on Emma and it consumed my life for a while. I know that doesn't make it better and I know it was wrong, but I felt worse lying to you about it." He glanced down at the table trying to look remorseful, but he was clearly fuming instead.
I take a deep breath to calm myself. He has never been physical before, the most he did was yell and say hurtful things to me, I'm used to that, I can handle that. "I could've handled you developing a crush, it can happen unconsciously, but you told me you were in love with her. You had me move out so you could move her in, right? I saw her stuff all over the house while I was packing." I said softly, still wanting to clear my feelings, but not wanting to push him over the edge. "You're clearly not happy with me calling you out on your shit, but I believe I'm the one who has the right to be angry here."
"Oh, yeah?" He snaps his head up and glares into me. "Then why don't you? I've never seen you blow up, or anything. Why don't you show any emotion other than indifference or entitlement?"
"Entitlement? When have I acted entitled towards you?" I snap back.
"When? You're doing so right now!" He starts to raise his voice louder. "What? You expect me to apologize again? I don't know how many times I have to say sorry."
I look around, giving apologetic glances to the baristas. I peer back at him and motion for him to lower his voice. "Just calm down, we're adults, we should be able to talk calmly without making a scene. I came here to talk with you, not to get screamed at." I take my phone out to text Ethan my location and Austin's temperament at the moment. "I think you've blown up enough for the both of us."
"I know I fucked up, okay? Just give me another chance." He grabs my hand causing me to drop my phone face up on the table. "I still love you, so forgive me."
My stomach turns into knots as those words leave his mouth. I hate confrontation, but I hate liars more. I glare up at him, reaching my breaking point. "Well, I don't! I'm not someone you can just throw away when you find someone else and come back once that other person realizes how shallow you are! I accepted your shallowness and how shitty of a person you are!" I fum, feeling my ears burn from the rage. "Entitlement? Me? Talk about pot meet kettle. You want me to forgive you, but you have not once apologized. I have not heard the first "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry I treated you like trash." "I'm sorry for consistently making comments about your insecurities." "I'm sorry I threw away our future we were planning together for someone I just met." So far you have only given me excuses and that's not enough this time." I snap my hand from his grasp, not wanting to feel his touch on my skin. "I came here so we could try to be friends again, but clearly we won't be able to do that."
As I let my bottled emotions flood out, my phone lights up with a notification, which diverts Austin's attention from my feelings to my phone. I don't think he even paid attention to half of what I was saying. His body slowly grew tense as I spoke.
"Who is Theodore?" He said with a deep growl once I was finished.
"What?" I snap still reeling from my rant.
He snatches my phone from the table and uses my unchanged passcode to unlock it. Usagi's birthday. His eyes darken as he looks through my messages. "You look stunning, hopefully we can be escapees together this weekend." He reads out the text I had received from Theodore. "Is he why you're not getting back together with me? I knew it was weird you weren't blowing up my phone, trying to get back together. You've been fucking around?' He grips my phone tightly in his hand.
"Not that it's any of your business, he's just a friend. Now give me back my phone, please."
"Bullshit!" He screams as throws the phone beside my head. The force of the impact sounded like a gunshot which made my ear ring. My eyes fill with terror as I see the man, who I thought treated me so sweetly, turn into a violent monster filled with unmeasured rage. "You fucking slut! How long have you been fucking this dude? Was he the reason you didn't fight to stay with me?" He slams on the table with his fists, causing our drinks to shake.
I remain silent and grab my phone from underneath the table. I put it in my purse and tried to calmly slide out of the booth. I have been disappointed in Austin before, but never terrified. Every nerve in my body screamed at me to get away. All I could think was 'Get to the door and leave.'. I scanned around the restaurant and the staff had retracted to the back room, while other customers looked on with curiosity, but none seemed like they wanted to step in. I don't blame them for not doing so, I would be scared to intervene myself.
He slams on the table again causing me to stop in my tracks. "Not going to answer me? Your silence means I'm right, right?" He snatches the drink he bought me and flings it onto me. I scream in shock as the cold liquid flows under my clothes. "Fat, dirty fucking whore! You were lucky to have me! But now you think someone else would want your filthy ass?" He screams. "You're. Mine!"
When the shock subsides enough for me to think, I rush out of the booth and run out the door to the sidewalk. My instincts told me if I stopped I would be in danger so I picked a random direction and pushed myself into the light foot traffic of people going home. Suddenly, I bumped into someone, causing me to fall to the ground.
"What the fuck?" The hoarse voice said as he reached down to me. "Watch where you're going."
I peek up, tears beginning to flood my eyes. Through my teared filled vision, I see what I think to be Theodore standing above me. Once my tears fell down my cheeks, I realized it was Oliver. He scoffs in disgust when he realizes who I am, but still offers his hand.
"NATALIE!" As I was about to take it, I froze when I heard Austin shout out my name with a hate I've never heard before. As I saw him get closer, I unconsciously grabbed onto Oliver's jean sleeve, causing him to step back.
"What are you doing, you freak?" He says hatefully as he shakes his leg. I sat there trembling, not knowing what else to do since my body wouldn't move. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab my arm tightly and roughly pull me to my feet.
"Ahhh!" I screamed with panic, not knowing what was about to happen.
"I wasn't done talking to you!" Austin yells into my ear.
"Please Auss, you're hurting me!" I cry out, trying to get out of his grip. "Why are you doing this?!"
He gripped my arm tighter and whispered into my ear. "Because you're mine, but you forgot. You said I'm you're everything, remember? Or was that a lie?"
Suddenly, I felt another hand grab my shoulder, yanking me away from Austin and causing him to lose his grip. When I glanced up, I saw Oliver standing protectively in front of me, his back to Austin, like a wall. "She's clearly done with this conversation," Oliver growled, his voice low and commanding. "I'd suggest you drop it now."
Austin's eyes flashed with anger, and he stepped forward, his voice booming as he pointed at me. "She's my girlfriend, and we're just having a little argument. It has nothing to do with you, so butt out!"
But I couldn't focus on Austin. My hands instinctively clenched onto Oliver's shirt, my body shaking with fear. 'This isn't the Austin I knew... I never thought he could be like this. What if he actually comes after me?' The thought twisted in my gut, panic rising in my chest.
I tugged desperately on Oliver's shirt, pulling myself closer to him, my heart hammering in my ears. His presence was grounding, but even so, the fear didn't subside. I couldn't stop my hands from trembling.
Oliver looked back over his shoulder at me, concern etched on his face, his brows furrowing. "Fuckin' shit…" he murmured, though his eyes were still locked on Austin, sizing him up like a threat.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice betrayed me, too tight with emotion to form any words. I shook my head, a desperate, frantic movement, my grip tightening on Oliver's back. The air between us felt thick, heavy with tension, and all I could do was hold on and hope that the world didn't crumble around me.
"Girlfriend or not," his tone was sharp as he slapped Austin's hand away. He turned to face him fully, his eyes hard with determination. "You can't treat women like this. Look at her—she's terrified, shaking like a leaf. That's not how a boyfriend should behave."
Austin scoffed, his expression a mix of irritation and pride. "Uh, whatever," he said dismissively, rolling his eyes. "We'll talk later." He shot me one last glare, a look that sent a chill down my spine, before he turned and stormed off, the tension in the air lingering long after he'd gone.
I stayed rooted to the spot, still clinging to Oliver's back, my chest heaving as I tried to calm my racing heart.
Once Austin was out of sight, my legs gave out beneath me. The shaking in my body was too much, and if I hadn't been holding onto Oliver's back, I would've collapsed to the ground.
Oliver turned to face me, and the sudden movement caught me off guard. I stumbled forward, my hand instinctively reaching out to grab his arm to steady myself.
"He's gone now," Oliver muttered, his voice quieter but still firm. "You can let go." But that was harder than it seemed. My fingers tightened around his arm as I tried to steady myself, my breath shaky, unable to shake the aftershocks of what had just happened.
I feel the tears swelling inside. "I know you can't stand me, but please let me hold onto you for just a moment." I grip onto his shirt sleeve. "I can't feel my legs and I think I'm going to fall if I let go."
He doesn't respond, but allows me to use him for support after moving us to the side of the sidewalk. After a couple of moments, I felt the fear leave my body and I let go of his shirt. I stumble as I try to balance myself. He suddenly grabs my wrist and tugs me behind him, without saying a word. My body, still in a trance, naturally follows behind him. We walk to the closest parking lot and he tugs me towards the red sports car from the other night. He lets go of my hand and hits a button on the keys to unlock the doors.
"Get in." He demands as he gets in the driver seat and slams the door.
Still terrified from that encounter, I instantly do as he says and get in. I awkwardly buckle myself in and look over at him. His expression was unreadable to me. "W-Why did you help me?" I ask nervously.
"What?" he snaps, causing me to jump.
"I-I just mean, you clearly hate me. So why did you help me, when you could've just left me there." I ask softly as I look away.
"Should I have just left you to deal with your own mess by yourself?" He asks harshly, starting the car, the roar of the engine coursing through my body.
"T-That's not what I meant…" I mumble softly. The soft sound of alternative music starts to play through the radio. He shuts off the radio as he pulls out of the parking lot and starts towards the highway. "W-Where are we going?" I ask cautiously.
"I'm going to speed around dangerously on the highway now that I have all this extra rage inside of me. Which is all your fault. I was already in a bad mood before talking to a prick. That's why you're coming with me, to soak up some of the anger." He says as he lights his dark colored cigarette, causing smoke to fill the car and me to cough as I choked on the smog. "Oh, grow up. It's not that bad, it's supposed to smell like cherries." He angrily pushes down on the gas causing me to press back into the seat.
We drove around at high speeds for a while in silence, only the sound of the engine and the soft sounds of him smoking filled the car. He slowly calmed down, returning the car to a legal speed. Suddenly my emotions caught up to me, the adrenaline melting away and despite my attempts to hold them in, tears came flowing out.
After letting me sob quietly and calm down, Oliver clears his throat. "I don't hate you, by the way." He breathes out a cloud of smoke. I turn to him, wiping my tears so he doesn't notice. "I don't know enough about you to hate you. All I know is your type. You meet a rich guy at a bar and assume you can use them to get everything you couldn't on your own. I'll admit you've caught my brother's undying interest, which is hard, so you must've done something. I know in my gut you're using him, somehow."
"I'm not." I say through sniffles. "We're just friends."
"It looked like more than just friends the other night." He scoffs.
I blush slightly, remembering that he walked in on us being intimate. I look out the window. "Well, if you think I'm such a whore, why help me?"
He remained silent for a moment. He took another long drag from his cigarette. "Even if I don't trust you, you're still a girl. I can't stand a prick who can treat a woman like that." He grips the steering wheel tightly.
"Chivalry" I asked, unable to hide my shocked tone.
He shrugs as he blows his smoke into my face. "I guess." At that moment I knew that he wasn't as pure as saving someone solely based on their gender. "Both my brother and I get pissed off when we see a woman being mistreated by someone like that. So don't think you're that special because I helped you out. It was me showing basic human decency."
I just ignore him and look at the dark orange sky from the sun starting to go down through the window. I slowly realize we're headed in the direction of Theodore's apartment. "Where are we going?" I ask again, despite knowing the answer already.
"My apartment, duh? I figured you'd be calling for my brother's company anyways, so I thought I would cut the middle man and bring you back with me. I know you probably don't care about his time, but I do." He said harshly, flicking his cigarette out of the window. "He's a busy and important man. He doesn't have time to chauffeur you around to talk about your ex."
"I wasn't going to tell Theodore about earlier." I say, picking at my fingernails. "We just became friends and I don't want this to be a reason we get closer."
"Wouldn't you talk to your friends about your ex being a dick and causing a public meltdown?"
"Probably not in great detail, I'm pretty embarrassed by his actions. You're brother and I just met, there's no reason to get him involved in my baggage." We pull into the parking lot and Oliver remains silent, clearly thinking.
"I understand, I won't tell my brother you were meeting with your abusive ex-boyfriend that more than likely will become a serious issue that he'll surely involve himself in later on." He turns to me and leans in, the tobacco smell filling my nose. "But that means you owe me more than you already do."
I gulp and nod waiting to hear his request, dreading what it could be. 'Will he have me do something illegal? He's clearly not a rule follower, is it about drugs? He's rich, could he have ties to the mafia or something like that?' I take a deep breath, readying myself for his answer.
"Don't tell my brother I was smoking in the Corvette and don't rat me out when I smoke in his house. He hates the smell of my cigarettes, but sometimes it's a pain in the ass to walk all the way outside to take a hit. A little bit of cologne is enough to cover it so I don't see what the big deal is with it."
I blink with surprise. "That's all?" I scoff.
"Yep, then we'll be even." He started spraying his body spray in the car. "I really hate hearing my brother bitch, he doesn't stop once he starts."
Suddenly I felt the urge to laugh, one of those laughs that hurt your sides because of how deep the laughter was. I burst out in loud an almost manic chuckle, the tension from earlier escaping from my body. He looked at me as if I had three heads. I put my hand up for him to give me a moment to gather myself. "You could've asked for anything, pfft, and you asked for me to hide your, pretty obvious, may I add, smoking habit, just so you don't get a lecture?"
"Exactly, now let's get you to a shower, you chatterbox." He joins my laughter with a small chuckle. "You fucking reek of pumpkin spice and it's the middle of summer."
After getting out of the shower, I message Ethan where I was and that I was safe. I told him that I would update him on the conversation whenever I get home. When I looked on the counter, there was a purple camisole and a black pair of leggings strewn about. They seemed like they would fit okay, probably a little snug though. As I got dressed I noticed my double cupped breasts practically hanging out of the lacey shirt and you could see the lines of my panties through the leggings. I quickly walked into Theodore's bedroom and rummaged into his nightstand for a T-shirt. 'I'm sorry for going through your clothes, but I can't walk around with half my tits hanging out." I slide on a plain, grey T-shirt I found, which covers my breast and ass perfectly.
I slowly opened the door to the living room and Oliver was sitting on the couch, playing intently on his phone, Sci-Fi gun noises blaring from it. He glanced up at me with an indifferent expression. "Did the clothes not fit?" He asks with an eyebrow raised. "They were something one of my exes left here, I remember her being around your size."
"The leggings fit, just the shirt leaves little to the imagination." I say awkwardly.
He nods. "Yeah, most of my exes don't have huge breasts and curves like you do. Not really my thing." I pull the shirt down more to hide my figure, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "Are you sure you're not a hooker or something? You were pretty comfortable leaving the bathroom unlocked while a man was in the house alone with you, you didn't even notice when I brought the clothes to you."
"I'm not in the habit of assuming all men are predators." I shrug him off as I sat at the, now cleared, bar. "I live with a man and he would never do anything to me. You were the one who said you hate men who mistreat women. So I assumed you were one of the safe ones."
"Well, you know what assuming does." He answers, not looking up from his phone, bringing me annoyance. "My brother should be home at any moment. You were in the shower forever."
"Ugh, you try scrubbing dried caramel off of you." I glance down at my reddened arms. "It took a while, I felt like my skin was being ripped off." I let out a long winded sigh, "I fucking hate caramel…"
"If you were a whore, you could've asked me to lick it off of you, I love caramel." We sit there in awkward silence for a couple of minutes, before he chokes on air, realizing what he had just said. "I-I said if you were one, you've told me you weren't so don't take it personally."
I clear my voice. "N-no problem, I'll just take it as another one of your insults and move on."
As we sat there, both embarrassed, the door opened. "Speak of the devil." Oliver said, finally looking up from his phone.
Theodore walked in with a leather suitcase in hand, looking pissed off and tired. His hair was slicked back neatly and he was in a dark blue business suit that fit him perfectly. He flung his shoes off at the door and walked in without looking up, focusing on his phone.
"Oliver! If you borrow my car again, especially without my permission, at least tell me so I don't have to take a damned taxi when I own multiple cars. It's not my fault you didn't like my opinion on your current situation." He lectures, still not glancing up from his phone. "I swear if I smell cigarettes in my brand new car, I'm going to snap your fucking neck."
"Oh, stop your bitching. I brought you something back with me."
"I don't give a single shit about whatever your pathetic ass would think would make up for grand theft aut-" He snapped out of his lecture as he peered up from his phone and made eye contact with me. He noticeably gets flustered and fixes his posture and tone.
I hold up my hand and shyly wave. "Hi." I say softly, blushing at hearing a conversation I wasn't supposed to hear.
He walks up to me and sits his suitcase on the bar leaning in close to me, his strong cologne filling my nose, cedarwood with a touch of musk and leather. "Well hello, Miss Natalie, I didn't know you were using my house as your hideaway tonight, I thought we might escape together this weekend." His eyes trail down to my outfit and tugs on the bottom of my borrowed shirt. "Hmm, this shirt seems awfully familiar to one I own." I blush as I look up at him, his face so close to mine. "You seem to have a thing for stealing my shirts for yourself."
"It's not stealing if it never leaves your residence." I whisper to him, making him smile.
"Some prick poured coffee all over her, so I brought her here to clean up." Oliver bellows from the couch. "You're welcome."
Theodore's smile melts into concern. He grabs my hand and holds it into his as he looks down to me. "Who would do such an awful thing to you?" As he kisses my hand he notices the dark bruises that had formed on my arm from being grabbed so roughly. "Are you okay? Those bruises are pretty pronounced." He runs his fingers over them, their placement obviously making them look like fingerprints. Oliver makes eye contact with me over Theodore's shoulder, suddenly intrigued.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine, when the coffee got on me, I slipped and fell. It's no biggy." I lie, feeling terrible about lying, but I can't let him into that part of myself yet. "The coffee was iced too so no burns."
"I should wring his neck for putting marks on your beautiful skin." His eyes darkened as rage filled his eyes.
I wave my free hand in protest. "There's no one's neck to wring, I was the one who fell."
He kisses my bruises and looks up at me, clearly not convinced.
"You guys are gross!" Oliver interrupts. "You should take her away to the beach or something. She told me that she's already had a really bad week and apparently needs to get away. I packed you a bag at her request." Oliver looks up from his game and motions him away. "Get out of here and get your dick wet somewhere else." He waves at us, my face reddening as what he said sinks in.
"Oliver! Don't be so vulgar in front of a woman!" He yells, which causes me to unconsciously jump. I shift in my seat from the awkwardness in the air. Theodore turns back to me and glances down at me. "Did your boss scold you so horribly you feel you need to get away? I can make sure they're reprimanded."
I play with a strand of my hair. 'I don't want to use him to run away, but I don't think I would feel safe going home right now. Austin knows I wouldn't stay at my apartment to keep Ethan from getting involved. He's probably calling around to hotels to see if I'm there.' I look him in the eyes, which are full of concern for me. A part of me wants to tell him about Austin, see what he would do, but I know that I would just be bringing him into my drama, probably creating a bigger problem. I glance away as I know I'm about to tell him a partial lie, a lie though all the same. "She was relentless, she knows I'm typically a hard worker and was disappointed in my performance today." I stare down at the strand of hair between my fingers. "Then I got coffee poured all over me when I was feeling a little better, with everything going on, it just pushed me to my limits, you know?"
He leans in and wraps his arms around me, bringing me into his embrace. My face is buried into his chest, hiding my shame. "I'm sorry you're going through so much. It seems like you can't get a break. I bet you still looked gorgeous even covered in coffee."
I wrap my arms around him, his embrace warming my heart, making me want to let out the rest of my tears. I feel sick with grief because I'm deceiving this man who has only shown me kindness. "I-I understand if you can't take me away. It was something I mentioned in the spur of the moment, I didn't mean to ask too much of you, I really do feel selfish for even suggesting it. I know you must be tired from work."
He leans back, releasing me from our hug, causing my body to grow cold. He held my face gently in his strong hands. "You could never ask too much from me. I know you're suffering right now and you deserve to be selfish. I'll take you anywhere you want to go. I'm guessing the beach as my idiot brother mentioned?"
'The beach is about an hour drive away, would it really be okay to steal him away like this?' I look at my hands feeling guilty.
"Don't look so worried, I'll go get dressed in something more beach worthy and we'll be on our way. It'll be good for me to have a night to relax, I don't get a lot of those." He looks deep into my eyes waiting for me to calm down. After a while I nod in acceptance. He lets go of my face and turns to his bedroom. As he walks past Oliver, he slaps him across the back of the head, the sound echoing throughout the room.
"Ah! What the hell man?" He snapped, rubbing his head.
"Behave yourself, if I find out you upset her again, I'll personally shove my fist so far down your throat, you'll never talk again." He warns as he walks into his room and closes the door.
Oliver and I sit in tense silence for a while. He stands up and glares into my eyes. "You're welcome. I got you a free trip out of here, don't get used to me helping you lie to my brother, which you suck at, by the way. I just don't want to see or hear the two of you flirting the whole night. I still think you're using him in some way." He turns away and walks to the staircase. "Don't think I won't make you suffer if you hurt my brother, I won't care that you're a woman at that point."
I watch him as he walks upstairs and slam the door. I'm left alone with my thoughts in pure silence. 'What I told him wasn't technically a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. I didn't care that I got scolded, I deserved it for taking the company's time. It wasn't my idea to have him take me away, but I still accepted his offer to swift me away. I really don't want our friendship to revolve around him helping through this break up.' I put my head in my hands, trying to stabilize myself.
After a while I felt a hand gently grab my shoulder. I look up and Theodore is squatted down in front of me, his face inches from mine. He gazed at me with a reassuring smile. "Just hang on a little longer, we'll be on our way out of town in just a second. Then we can leave all of our stress and grief here." He stands straight and pats my head. My eyes trail his body as I noticed the outfit he changed into. It was a black sweatshirt that accentuated the muscles on his torso with loose blue jeans that flowed over his tennis shoes. It was a stark change from the business suit he was in when he walked in.
I peek down at my clothing, remembering I'm not dressed in clothing I would normally leave the house in. 'I'll look like I just crawled out of bed while he looks ready to go to a country club.' He lifts my chin to break me away from my self-deprecating thoughts. "You look beautiful, no matter what you're in." He placed his hand on my cheek as he leaned down and kissed my other. I felt my face redden as I felt his breath on my neck. "I also like the sight of you in my clothes, it means when I wear them again, I'll only think of you."
I placed my hand on his. "I thought I had to give you permission to kiss me?" I whispered in his ear and I kissed his cheek in response.
He chuckles as he stands up, sweeping me in his arms. "That you do, I was taken away by your beauty and couldn't restrain myself. You'll have to punish me twice for it later."
"Twice?" I question before his lips were on mine. My body shook from the electricity in his lips.
He leaned back as he grabbed his bag along with my purse that I didn't notice him place beside us. "You tremble so much from our kisses, even if it's just a peck." He coos in my ear as he carries me out the door.
"Y-you can let me down, I'm sure I'm heavy." I say lightly pushing on his chest.
He pulls me closer into him. "Not at all, you're as light as a feather. You seem to think you're bigger than you are." He says carrying me into the elevator. "You're actually pretty tiny if you ask me."
"I'm definitely not…" I blush as I look away. "I've never been carried like this before, it feels embarrassing."
"No embarrassment from me, I feel honored that I can be the first one to hold you like this." He says as he kisses the top of my head. "Though, you'll have to punish me with how much I want to kiss you right now."
I blushed harder as the elevator dinged on a random floor. "Let me down, someone's going to see."
He shrugged as I buried my face into him. "I don't care if the world sees, this is so I can sweep you off your feet." I hear the doors close and as I look up I realize no one stepped in.
I let out a sigh of relief and glanced up at him. "This isn't very friendly behavior."
"Oh, it isn't? Ethan's never carried you like this?" He chuckles.
"No! This is too much even for us!"
He looks down at me with confusion. "Didn't you say you've kissed him? How is this too much?"
"It just is!"
"Very convincing argument you have there. I have no choice, but to agree." He lightly sets me down, placing my sandals at my feet. "Let's get you to the beach so I can see what else you get embarrassed about."
As we drive, the sun fades away, leaving only the stars. The lo-fi beats allow another relaxing drive. Theodore takes a deep breath and coughs. "Ugh, he smoked in my car didn't he? I smell his cheap cologne, it's as if I walked into a boy's locker room."
I look away from his eyes, knowing I suck at lying. "I'm sorry, I'm sworn to secrecy."
He raised an eyebrow as he looked over to me. "Sharing secrets with my brother? That can't be a good thing."
I gave a small laugh in response. "He did help me out earlier. I owe him one."
"You owe that miscreant jack shit. He was clearly horrible to you the other day, I say he owes you more than you owe him." He fumes as he grips the steering wheel. After a moment he looks over to me with just his eyes. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but what did he say to you? I want to know how soon I need to murder him."
I shake my hand to dismiss his readiness to commit fratricide. "It wasn't that horrible, but I'd rather just leave it be and move on. He clearly has a lot going on and cares for you a great deal. My sister wouldn't give two shits either way."
"He only cares that I give him what he wants and that he can annoy me and I still give it to him."
"I don't think that's all he cares about." I look over to the radio and see another
lo-fi station starts playing. "Do you only listen to lo-fi?" I ask, changing the topic.
He looks at the radio. "Nah, I just like the vibes it gives me while I drive. I like R&B and classical music too, I just feel like you should listen to certain music at certain times." He hands his sleek phone to me and opens Spotify. "Since we're doing this trip for you, why don't you play dj and pick the music."
I looked over at him, my eyebrow raised. "Are you sure? My taste in music
is totally different from yours." He laughs as he reassures me with a hand gesture. I look up my account and press shuffle on one of my public playlists. Loudly, Avenged Sevenfold's Scream starts blaring through his expensive speakers, shaking the whole car from the bass.
He snaps his head to the radio and quickly turns the dial down so our ears
wouldn't bust. He looks over to me chuckling. "You know, I'm not surprised. You were dressed in fishnets and spikes the other night. Makes sense."
I blush brightly as I look through the queue for something calmer. "I-I'll
change it, this is very different from Lo-fi."
He shakes his hand. "No, you don't hav-" He says as my finger presses
the skip button. As the music fades in, my embarrassment grows before I can look at him. The next song to play was Cardi B's WAP. I cover my face, trying to hold my soul from leaving my body and turn towards the car door. I hear his snickers become full body laughter. "Why is this also not a surprise, at all?" I want to fade from existence, when he grabs on to my hand. "You, Miss Natalie, are a trip to be around. Truly one of a kind." He kisses my hand as I peek over from my shameful music choices. "I hope I get to see more unforgettable moments through our friendship."