I still vividly remember the most profound thought I had after I had woken up in this new life.
The question wasn't what to steal.
The question was what to steal first.
Now, that wasn't my first thought when I woke up. No, that had been a mixture of 'why the hell does everything hurt so damned much?' and 'who the hell turned off the lights?'.
Yeah, as it turns out, it's not fun waking up in prison. Much less so in ninja-prison. Even less so when you haven't really done anything to warrant waking up in said ninja-prison. Like I said, I literally just woke up there; I hadn't even had a chance to actually do anything at all yet, much less do something illegal that was actually worthy of being thrown in prison over.
Unfortunately for me, I woke up in the body of a guy who did deserve it twice over, and discovering that little fact was yet another shock to the system.
The surroundings, the pain, all of the confusion had come to a head when I stumbled through the darkened room and came across a bucket (painfully, as I found it with my little toe) which had what I dearly hoped was water in it. The silver-haired reflection looking back at me had been unrecognizable. The explanation had come from a gruff voice sounding out from beyond the thick bars to what I later realized was my prison cell.
"Mizuki. Get up, you're part of the next work detail, traitor."
"… wha-?"
That had been enough to knock me right back to blissful sleep again as my mind shut down and I drifted out of consciousness.
Not that my captors had been willing to grant me my much deserved freak-out. They came in my cell when I didn't respond, kicked my already bruised ribs a couple times and when that wasn't enough to wake me up, they held some smelling salts underneath my nose. Unfortunately, that only led to more pain as my head shot up in shock, smashing right into the nose of my jailor, who (after some well-placed curses) generously paid me back in kind.
From there, it was just a long string of confusion as they dragged me from my cell while I tried to figure out where I was and what the hell I was doing there in the first place. The first one didn't take long to become apparent: Konoha jail. More specifically, the Konoha Strict Correctional Facility, which apparently was some sort of ninja supermax prison.
The surroundings being made of boiling lava with only one drawbridge serving as a connection to the outside world was a big clue.
Even so, those surroundings, this building, these people, it should've all been impossible, considering Konoha didn't exist.
Except the heat was real. The grip on my shoulders was real. And by god, the thrumming pain coming from bruises that seemed to cover every single part of my body were definitely real, to say nothing of the splitting headache.
'Maybe I got a visit from Truck-kun? That's why my body hurts so much. Though it sucks that I apparently got sent to Hell… I mean, sure I wasn't a saint, but I'm fairly sure the most illegal things I've done are speeding and torrenting movies and I paid those speeding tickets anyways!'
But that was ridiculous. Surely, God (whichever one was in charge) didn't care enough about illegally streaming movies to condemn me to Hell, right?
I was drawn from my musings on the unfairness of the afterlife as I was dragged up several floors of what seemed to be a large castle placed centrally in an triangular island that rose up from the middle of the active caldera, giving me my first good look at this new world I suddenly found myself in.
We passed a window that allowed me to look out over the elongated tip of the triangular island, a central rocky field surrounded by a large chain link fence, which was in turn surrounded by a brick wall that had a large guard tower at the far end of the triangle shaped jail.
Right as I looked outside, a massive geyser of lava exploded outwards from the surrounding caldera, its spray of molten rock reaching several dozens of meter high and raining down ash and sulfur on the prisoners below, bathing the hallway in a dull, oppressive orange light.
'Never mind, apparently God hates online piracy and has clearly sent me to Hell. Dammit, I really should've shelled out for Disney…' I thought, oddly enough having the lucidity to wonder whether or not I'd gone insane before my musings were interrupted as the guard forcibly dragged me away from the window, still stemming his bruised nose.
To my surprise, given the… enthusiasm they'd shown when they'd woken me up, my captors weren't taking me to one of the backrooms for some creative punishments. Instead I was pushed rather unceremoniously in what seemed to be the med bay of the facility.
It was stark, but seemed clean (or cleaner than my cell and the darkened hallways had been at least) with just a couple of beds, bare walls and just the one desk. No dividers, I noticed, which was to be expected I suppose. No privacy in prison after all. Most of the nearly two dozen beds were empty. Only a few had occupants, and of them only one seemed to have any serious injuries, most of the right side of his body bandaged and currently being looked over by a nurse.
The others mostly seemed to have cuts and scrapes over their bare feet and lower arms, clad as they were in a short-sleeved grey uniform, one that my new body was wearing as well. The head nurse or doctor, a severe looking middle aged woman, looked up from the desk she was seated behind, shooting the burly guard at my side an annoyed look, clearly disturbed in going through a stack of paperwork.
"Don't tell me someone else managed to hit a vein and got hit by a lava spray too?" she sounded exasperated and even in my dazed and confused state, I couldn't help but blanch a bit at how bored she sounded.
'Just how often do people here get hit with lava for it to be a fucking chore?' I slightly panicked (on top of all the regular panicking I was already doing) and despite the swell of heat pushing into the room from the open windows, I found myself shivering in the guards' grip.
"Nothing like that. Seems like our friend here pretty much cracked. Doesn't even seem to be aware of what's going on." The guard on my left explained, hoisting me up with just one hand with worrying ease, as if I didn't weigh anything at all despite the fact I was a bit taller than he was.
"They all do, eventually. This was fast though, much faster than usual. Still, what do you want me to do about it? I'm a doctor, not a shrink. They break their foot, you bring 'em to me. They break their minds… well, tough luck getting psychiatric help in here." The doctor dismissed easily, her voice weary.
"Look, I'm not asking you to glue his soul back together or whatever. Just… give him something for the shakes or something, make it so he doesn't keep passing out and looking around at the world as if he's a newborn toddler." The guard rebutted.
'Well, I mean… I sort of am.' I thought, surprised by the care the man showed me, going against the medical staff as he was-
"Bastard is a traitor to the Leaf. He still has many years of his sentence left to go. I don't intend to let him duck even a single one of 'em by transferring him to a comfortable retirement home just 'cause he pleads insanity." The guard growled out and his grip on my shoulder tightened painfully.
'Ah… dammit.'
The man unceremoniously threw me against one of the nearby beds, its thin legs scraping loudly against the floor as it shifted underneath my sudden weight and I let out a chocked cough as the railing suddenly impacted my stomach.
None of the nurses seemed to even react to the sudden violence, and neither did the prisoners. In fact, they turned their heads away from me, gaze distant and not quite here. The only one who even seemed to notice was the head doctor and that seemed to be more out of annoyance at the disturbance in her domain rather than out of any care for her patients.
For a moment, she and my guards exchanged glances, before she snorted in clear disgust.
"Fine. I'll keep him docile for now. Give it a day or two, he should've calmed down enough he'll rejoin the work detail without much issue." She eventually conceded.
The guard that had pushed for my 'help' gave a firm nod, before sharply turning on his heel and striding from the room. The other, who had stayed silent so far, instead crossed his arms over his familiar green flak jacket as he leaned against the doorframe, eyes flitting from me to the other prisoners and back to me again. Ignoring the added security, the head doctor rose from behind her desk, stepping over to a nearby cabinet and pulling a bottle filled with pills from it. She idly shook out two on the palm of her hand, before glancing over at my trembling, sweating form and shaking out two more with a frown on her face.
Storing the bottle, she came up around her desk as she approached me with quick, measured steps.
"Lie down on the bed." She ordered, but all I could do was blink blearily up at her.
The frown on her face deepened.
"Look, I have absolutely no intention of picking up your limp body from the floor, so it's up to you where you'll spend the next few hours. Left there on the floor, or here in the bed." She stated firmly and I swallowed as I followed her instructions.
"W-wait… please…?" I managed to rasp out as she approached me, one hand feebly raised.
From over the shoulder of the woman, I saw the guard tense at my movement, but the doctor merely blinked, apparently somewhat taken aback by the sheer desperation in my voice.
"W-what's going on? W-where am I?" I managed and the guard rolled his eyes.
"Damn, Mizuki, really playing it up here, huh?" the man scoffed.
"… but my name isn't Mizuki…" I trailed off, before looking towards the woman, hopelessly lost.
"Yes. It is. Your name is Oniyuri Mizuki. You are currently in the Konoha Strict Correctional Facility, formerly Ninja Prison for Capital Offenses and Felonies."
I blinked at the waterfall of words and the woman shrugged.
"We downsized." She explained curtly, before continuing.
"You are here, Mizuki, to serve out your three consecutive life sentences as decreed by the Third Hokage for crimes against Konoha."
Ice filled my veins.
'Konoha? Hokage?'
"W-what… a life sentence? Why?" I choked out instead.
"Being a traitor tends to rack up quite the punishment." The guard answered with a dark chuckle.
"Traitor? What-"
"Each act of betrayal constitutes a life sentence. Your attempted theft of the Scroll of Sealing, which falls under selling state secrets of the Village to outsiders. A quite ridiculously large number of them at that. Attempted murder of chūnin Umino Iruka, noted to be extra heinous considering you were comrades, and of genin Uzumaki Naruto. And revealing Uzumaki's status as a jinchūriki, which constitutes breaking an S-Rank secret. By the way, that last one is also punishable by death, so in a manner of speaking, you got lucky getting a life sentence instead." The woman stated, though by now a deep frown was marring her face and she mostly seemed to be talking on auto-pilot.
Most of her focus seemed to be on my expression as she fished a slim flashlight from the pocket of her white coat, shining the light in my eyes, checking my pupils.
Meanwhile, I couldn't help but let out a strangled cough.
"L-lucky?!"
"In a manner of speaking." The woman simply repeated, still frowning deeply as her slim fingers came up and begin very delicately touching and prodding my head, mostly my temples and the base of my skull.
"You arrived yesterday, mostly a collection of cuts and bruises rather than an actual person, still quite out of it. Apparently, the Uzumaki brat and your comrade positively pounded you into the ground, stopping your betrayal." The woman muttered, voice lower now as she began seriously examining me.
"Heh. Serves the damned bastard right."
'Well, fuck you too asshole.'
"I'm not sure…" the doctor said, drawing surprised looks from both me and the guard as she straightened, returning the flashlight to her pocket, before she glanced at the pills in her hand, shaking her head with a scoff.
As she walked back towards the cabinet besides her desk, the guard pushed off the door frame, his stance confrontational.
"Wait, what? This bastard nearly severs his comrade's spine and you're not sure-?"
"I'm do doubt the illegality his actions, or disagree with the severity of the punishment." The doctor cut him off, returning the pills to their bottle, before retrieving a worryingly large needle instead.
"Then what the hell-"
Again the woman ignored him as she returned to my bedside, her eyes scarily intent and focused solely on my own.
"You… you really have no memory of your crimes, do you? No memory of arriving here?"
Slowly, I shook my head, a churning feeling in my gut worming its way up to set my lungs on fire and constrict my throat. Not trusting my words, I simply settled for shrugging helplessly, trying to ignore how tears were forming in my eyes, hot and heavy.
"Please… I don't know what's going on… N-nothing you've said, it… it doesn't make any sense. I just want to go home…"
"Damn. You don't think he's faking?" the guard interrupted, questioning the doctor who seemed to chew the question over for a moment.
"Maybe he is. Maybe he isn't. But considering the state of him… to say nothing of the shape he was found in, amnesia is definitely a distinct possibility. The damage to his body would be sufficient and he's displaying all the classic symptoms."
"He could be faking those too!"
"Maybe he is. Maybe he isn't." the woman simply stated again with a shrug.
Then she lightly pushed on my chest and I couldn't suppress a wince as my entire ribcage flared with pain, crying out in protest. Still, it was all for naught, the slim hand pushing me down with deceptive ease. With sure movements borne from experience, she lines the syringe up with a vein in my forearm, which I only now realized was covered in a massive tattoo.
"Like I said, I'm no psychiatrist. I can only state that his skull got rattled enough, brain damage is a distinct possibility. You want to dig any deeper than that, get a Yamanaka in here."
"… alright, so what then? Just 'cause he can't remember it doesn't mean he didn't pull that shit in the first place."
"I don't know. I'll make a report, kick it up the chain. Considering who is involved in all of this, it might even be worthy enough to land on the Hokage's desk. In any case, we need to inform his fiancée."
'What the-?!'
My eyes, slowly being dragged shut by whatever drug the woman had just injected me with, flew wide open and despite the protestations of my body, I flew half upright in the rickety bed, startling the guard enough he whipped a kunai from his equipment pouch.
"I have a fiancée?!" I spluttered, voice cracking and both of them looked at me with surprised blinks.
"… alright, fair enough, so maybe he's not faking it." The guard conceded sheepily.
//
My hospital visit had been two days ago. Not that I would've known if the staff hadn't informed me of the fact, considering it was hard to tell the time in here. The large central area, containing the various halls filled with cells, was wide and low and shockingly large, but also located underground and thus always concealed in a dark gloom, reddened by the volcanic glow coming from outside. The walls and floor were slick with condense and whenever a door two floors up opened and closed, we could tell even all the way down here just by the terrible draft that seemed to steal away the warmth on your skin, sometimes even cutting through your flesh to bite into your bones.
Still, we were grateful for it, considering the ever-present sweltering heat of the volcano below and around us, its heaviness enough to make it an almost physical weight resting on every single inch of your body, making the air difficult to drag into your lungs. Down here, it was tough, but outside in the work yard, it could be downright painful as the heat burnt its way down your throat, parching and drying you with every breath.
I wasn't surprised at how callous the doctor had been at the prospect of another prisoner losing his mind: in conditions like this, I wouldn't even be surprised if it happened to the occasional guard as well.
I had heard no further updates on what had happened to the report she'd sent back to Konoha. At the very least, I had been given medical leave from the work detail in the yard until my injuries had healed somewhat, especially the ones to my skull. Still, despite my injuries, said leave only extended for a week.
Apparently, ninja heal faster than normal (and it wasn't like they actually cared whether or not I was fully healed after all), though I still struggled wrapping my head around the fact that I was one now.
And not just some rando, unnamed one either, which at this point would've been preferable. But no, I had woken up in one of the worst possible named characters in the series to become, save the ones that served as cannon fodder for more important characters' backstories.
Oniyuri Mizuki, the first villain in one of the most popular anime series of all time. A one note character mostly there to set the plot in motion and then tossed in jail and left to rot as the protagonist went off to better and bigger things (and better and bigger villains too).
I remember Mizuki got taken off the shelf and dusted off in a filler arc in the anime when he (or I, I suppose) escaped prison and ended up turning into his tiger-fursona… somehow. However, due to it having happened in a filler arc, I hadn't watched it.
'… I haven't watched the episodes in which I escape! God dammit!'
I would've slammed my head into the wall of my cell if it weren't for the doctor's orders expressly forbidding me from doing so.
All I knew was that I would end up escaping by enlisting the help of The Legendary Stupid Brothers (whoever those guys might be), get into a couple of fights, use a flawed protype powerup I had apparently gotten from Orochimaru sometime in the past and then I'd get my ass kicked and be sent right back to prison, this time for good.
'Yeah… that is absolutely unacceptable.'
Waking up in this place was enough to last me for a lifetime (or two, technically). I didn't belong here and I'd be damned if they'd send me back in here for the remainder of my three consecutive life-sentences.
So, I had to plan, find a way to Shawshank my way out of this mess. What means did I have to get out of this place and then, what means did I have to stay out of this place?
Like I said, I had heard nothing about the report on my amnesia that had been sent back to Konoha, so I couldn't rely on that. First they'd have to actually believe that I had amnesia in the first place, or alternatively that I couldn't deal with the shame of my betrayal and had gone schizoid, disassociating myself from Mizuki and creating an entirely new personality, both of which were only partially true and the actual truth somehow seemed even more unbelievable. Then secondly, based on that they'd have to decide to renew the investigation and then lastly they'd have to decide that, since it technically wasn't me (or the same mind, at least) that had committed the crimes, I shouldn't be put in jail for them and then set me free.
Yeah, somehow I can't quite see a ninja village going through so many hoops, even if it was reputed to be the nicest one.
So just being allowed to walk out of here was a pipe dream. What did I have instead? I may not have watched the actual episodes, but I did have a rough idea of how Mizuki had escaped originally. It had taken him a while, since I remember that Sasuke had already left the Village, so it was after the Konoha Crush. So, it would've taken me about a year?
Yeah, that felt right, considering Mizuki had had enough time to follow in Uncle Iroh's footsteps and had gotten prison jacked.
So, in a year, Mizuki had found enough intel and means in this place to manipulate the Legendary Stupid Brothers in aiding in his escape. Even if I didn't know exactly how yet, that wasn't truly important at the moment, considering I apparently had roughly a year to figure it out.
No, the important thing was that it served as a reminder and a motivator; escape was possible. It was a canon event (or filler event, same difference). Not that I had ever attempted to escape prison before, but I had watched Shawshank Redemption enough times to know that motivation was half the battle in these sorts of things.
Ok, so that was what the original Mizuki had had to work with. What did I bring to the table? A lot of knowledge about the outside world, future events even, but until I actually escaped to the outside world, its usefulness was diminished for now. However, perhaps more importantly than my outside knowledge, was my own personality. Yes, I now occupied Mizuki's body and thus had his skillset and powers, but I didn't share his goals or have his toxic personality.
I wasn't driven by revenge against Iruka and Naruto, or even Konoha as a whole, despite the fact the Village was responsible for throwing me in this hellhole. It wasn't like you could really plan for transmigrators mistakenly waking up in your criminals' bodies, after all.
No, the moment I got out of here I'd cut my losses and run instead of picking a losing fight. But other than that, since I didn't share Mizuki's hatred, I also didn't share his hang-ups.
In short, I ain't too proud to beg.
Apparently, I had a fiancée waiting for me (which still weirded me out, I really wish I had actually bothered with that filler arc) which could mean either two things:
One, she was in on Mizuki being an evil son of a bitch and thus would be willing to spring me from this joint.
Two, she had been enamored with the carefully maintained front he had put up, the same one that had fooled Iruka and Naruto themselves for so long.
I was leaning towards the latter, since I couldn't remember the fiancée actively breaking him out of prison or going against Konoha, but I could work with that. It'd actually work to my advantage, considering I doubt I could pull off being a manipulative evil bastard in front of my potentially manipulative evil fiancée. I just had to win back the confidence of the woman that Mizuki had managed to fool, and then see if I could convince her to smuggle me supplies or such.
… which actually was very manipulative of me, but confined as I was to my jail cell, I tried to convince myself that at least it was for a worthier cause that the real Mizuki had been.
In addition to the woman, I had my relationship with my victims-slash-assaulters as well. Iruka and Naruto were both good guys and Naruto especially was quick to forgive. I mean, he called the guy who murdered his parents and plunged the world into war 'the coolest guy', what's a little shuriken-throwing and emotional damage compared to that, right? Right?
Like I said, I ain't too proud to beg. I don't care how often I have to ask, cry and plead for an audience with the kid, but I bet that if I had a heart to heart with the hero of this world, if I truly apologized (and why wouldn't I, considering Mizuki had been a right asshole to him for no apparent reason) then the kid would put in a good word for me with his grandfather figure.
Incidentally, said grandfather was the man that sentenced me to this place in the first place and also the man with the power to set me free, so hey, win-win all around!
Nodding, I went over my list, drawn with mud on one of the slick walls of my cell, barely illuminated by the light spilling in from the open double doors that led to the large set of stairs placed centrally in the large prison hall. The appearance of the list was both comforting as well as disconcerting, considering it was written in kanji, which I definitely didn't know how to read or write in my previous life.
That was a good indication that I could safely rely on the strong muscle memory and habits that this body had ingrained over the course of Mizuki's life, instead of needing to build everything from the ground up. Imagine trying to learn each individual handseal and how they affected chakra from the midst of a darkened cell, or just how to hold a kunai or throw a punch?
'Ok, so what means do I currently have? 1. The Legendary Stupid Brothers and whatever else Mizuki scrounged together for his original escape plan. 2. Mizuki's fiancée who's hopefully willing to help me out. 3. Begging for the chance to apologize to Iruka and Naruto and have their goodwill with the Hokage potentially reduce or lighten my sentence.'
A meager list, but that last part was an important one. It's difficult to escape a place that's on an isolated island in the middle of an active volcano with only one bridge leading to the outside world. Hell, just ask Fiona considering it worked on her and I don't think I can wait around for my very own Shrek to come and rescue me.
However, a prisoner transfer, on its way through the thick forest of Fire Country all by its lonesome?
Yeah, I liked those odds much better.
Despite how depressingly short the list was, realistically I couldn't really add anything to it until I figured out more about how Mizuki had escaped originally and whether or not his fiancée had been a victim or an accomplice of his.
So, instead I smeared some more mud on my hands and began a second list. Because while my outside knowledge was a great motivator to let me know escape was indeed possible, I also knew that freedom wasn't guaranteed. All of my preparations would be for nothing if Naruto would just bow his head, clench his fist, mutter something about friendship and loneliness (bonus points for a flashback involving a swing) and then out of nowhere kick my ass with a Rasengan, no matter how badly I had been beating him beforehand.
Plot doesn't care about a battle, it just cares about the win and it most definitely wasn't on my side.
Which meant, first order of business, right at the top of my list in all caps and bold:
1. DO NOT FUCKING FIGHT NARUTO
Like I said, I didn't care about getting revenge on the kid like Mizuki had. No use in getting even with teenagers when it was my freedom on the line here. No, if I had to escape this place, I'd dip first chance I got. Run far, far away from here.
That, of course, led to the logical question of where I'd be running off to.
One of the other major villages? I'd still come in as a traitor and I didn't have much to offer. That one guy that defected to Ame and let Ibiki's little brother take the blame had to bring the Second Hokage's lightsaber with him as a bargaining chip to be made jonin there. If Mizuki had actually succeeded in stealing the Scroll, I might have more of an inroad with the other Villages, but then again, if he had succeeded, I wouldn't be stuck in this cell.
On the other hand, he'd have gone running straight to Orochimaru with it instead, and to be honest, I think I prefer the active volcano to that creepy snake guy.
Besides, being a part of an enemy Village, especially Sound or Sand, had a high chance of contradicting rule one, by bringing me into conflict with Konoha and thus, potentially, with one Uzumaki Naruto.
Becoming part of an allied Village, like Taki, or one of the numerous small ones that briefly showed up in various filler arcs? No confrontation, but also no guarantee they wouldn't just hand my ass wrapped on a silver platter back to Konoha, so that was out too.
No, Mizuki might have had all the wrong reasons, but he hadn't had the wrong idea, not per se.
I needed power.
Screw trading scrolls, secrets or ancient weapons. The bargaining chip that would make a Village see me as an asset worthy enough to keep out of Konoha's clutches, would have to be myself. And thus, in the darkness of my prison cell, mud coating the palms of my hands, my profound insight came to me: it's not a question of what to steal, just a matter of what to steal first.
As far as moments of enlightement go, it doesn't compare to sitting underneath a nice tree in a sunny glade somewhere and achieving Nirvana, but the end result would probably be somewhat similar. If I actually managed to get my hands on useful power-ups that is, ones that won't end up crippling me like Orochimaru's prototype seal would.
Here, my outside knowledge was more useful, if still purely theoretical.
'Now then… considering I'm the main character of a filler arc, that means it's safe to assume the others exist in this world as well. Most of them take place in minor countries that are never mentioned again afterwards… mostly because there's assassinated daimyo's and princess in distress…'
Actually, come to think of it, considering how often Naruto ends up saving a princess in those arcs and in the movies, being a noble is a ridiculously dangerous profession in a world where there's a hero with something to prove.
Still, that left a bunch of secrets, weapons and hidden places of power lying around the continent, if you knew where to look.
'Hmmm… let's see, nah that guy would kick my ass if I showed my face in the same village… that source of power was sealed… that guy might work, but he's literally from another continent and won't show up for at least a year… genuinely have no clue where to even go looking for that one to be honest…'
Plotpoint after plotpoint, arc after arc, villain after villain was examined in as much detail as I could remember, before either being rejected outright, or placed in a timeline as best as I could piece together.
Some overlapped, some strengthened each other and some made others obsolete, so I kept shifting and working on the list until I had something that seemed like a logical series of steps, based on location, timeline and compatibility.
Considering how early in the series it still was, it was extremely tempting to go get the weapon of the villain that had succeeded Mizuki as the second villain Naruto faced. Zabuza's sword was just sitting there, completely unguarded and it was a small miracle (and a testament to just how insignificant Wave was as a country in the wider scheme of things) that it had remained there for several years in canon, especially since the Hidden Mist Village had been looking for it.
Unfortunately for me, Wave was off the east coast of Fire Country and between the ruins of Whirlpool and Water Country. Which was in the complete opposite direction of where I wanted to get most of my power-ups, which were located in the Land of Rivers to the west.
There was a surprisingly large amount of powerful stuff currently available in the medium-sized country, especially considering how small its ninja population and overall plot importance was, which had done a lot to sway my list. Unfortunately I had to deal with the sometimes funky timeline of Naruto (especially its fillers), but if it worked as a hide-out for so many other powerful ninja to remain unnoticed by the Great Nations, then it could shelter me for a while as well while I bided my time.
First order of business: travel to Takumi no Sato, the Village of Artisans. Not that I knew exactly where in the Land of Rivers the small village of weapon forgers was located, but I figured that I could travel roughly in its direction and once I crossed the border, I'd try and get my hands on a proper map.
Why that particular village first? Because there were a couple of semi-religious, self-sacrificial nutjobs over there (though considering the state of this world, the same could be said for most Villages I reckon) who sought to resurrect the founder of their Village in order to take revenge on all the ninja who bought their weapons, only to use them against them.
Which, fair enough, they did get screwed, but I wasn't really interested in their resurrection scheme, only in how they intended to complete it. The Four Celestial Symbols Men (which ironically had one woman on its roster) used a variety of weapons that had special abilities and could be combined into a more powerful form.
Three of them were swords and they were cool enough in their own right and if I'm able to get them without too much risk, I'm definitely going for it, but I was mostly interested in the Infinite Armor, a chestplate with a tiger motif that had the ability to absorb chakra.
Considering chakra was the number one go-to method of murdering in this world, having protection that nullifies two of the three main ninja schools seems like a safe bet.
It wasn't the only armor with such abilities, the armor from the Land of Snow villains was more advanced and sophisticated, but that was on the other side of the Land of Fire and past the Land of Hot Water. Besides, the Infinite Armor, while less durable than the Snow Chakra Armor, had one major benefit compared to its more modern counterpart: it could absorb chakra to heal the injuries and strengthen the body of the wearer.
Which played exceptionally well with the two other items at the top of my list, the first being the Stone of Gelel.
Now this one would be a bit trickier to track down, for several reasons. The first was: it wasn't here yet. Sure, the main source of the miracle stone was, but that was hidden away and even if I could convince the one person on this continent who knew its secret location to take me there, access to the power itself was still locked away by royal blood, which I obviously did not have.
Which meant I had to wait until the descendants of that royal line would return to this continent, which would only happen after Sasuke had already left the Village which would only be in a year or so.
Not a total disaster, if I can keep my head down for that time, as it would give me the opportunity to get used to the Infinite Armor and hone my skills (especially with any of the other Takumi-forged weaponry should I be able to grab them as well).
The arrival of Temujin and his people from that mysterious other continent at least gave me a clue on where to start looking for the source of the Gelel stone, as they first attacked a Suna beach, one in an area close enough that Shikamaru, Sakura and Naruto were nearby on their own mission. And it just so happened that the Land of Rivers sat right between the two powerful nations and shared a border where the Land of Wind met the sea.
So I had a little under a year to go over the area with a fine tooth comb, wait out the arrival of Temujin and the gaslighting, grooming bastard Haido, who killed his parents and then took him under his wing by brainwashing him into seeing him as a worthy parental figure (… which actually happens disturbingly often, come to think of it) when they launch their opening attack on Suna.
Temujin, being of the royal blood, had implanted the Stone in his body, and I'd really rather not tear it out of his chest like Haido had done. The fat bastard himself however wore his stone in a glove, which seemed to work well enough for him. Coming from a continent where chakra was completely unknown, I was counting on the fact that Haido and his crew were completely unused to battling shinobi and especially ill-equipped to deal with Genjutsu.
It shouldn't be too hard to liberate the glove from the man's hand (or liberate the hand from man instead if need be) without them being any the wiser. Implant the Stone in the Infinite Armor and that's practical immortality right there baby.
Or at the very least one hell of a healing factor. The Stone would work better if it could absorb more life energy straight from the source of the vein, but that also risked blowing up half the continent, so that was only an option if I had completely dismantled Haido's operation and un-fucked Temujin's brainwashing.
Still, an immortal body didn't make you invincible, it just meant other could beat you up longer. It was good, but not yet on the level of sheer hax that this world's most powerful people possessed, power that I would need if I wanted to live a life on my own terms, without interference from the Villages or blonde plot devices.
That led to step three, which saw me moving westwards out of the Land of Rivers. Well, maybe not immediately, since the former member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist Raiga Kurosuki was currently there as well, terrorizing a gold mine and burying people alive. Ironically, he himself was a goldmine for me, considering he wielded the Kiba, which were rumored to be the sharpest swords ever made that could practically turn you into a living storm. Even more valuable than that was his tiny companion, Ranmaru.
I didn't exactly know what kind of dōjutsu the kid had, maybe a Hyuuga got too frisky with an Uchiha sometime in the past, but the kid's red eyes were a sort of ultimate anti-Byakugan. Same visual prowess but with the added ability of casting impenetrable Genjutsu, even to other dōjutsu wielders.
… though if I wanted that power for myself (and with the Stone of Gelel and the Infinite Armor, the chakra cost and medical procedure wouldn't be too taxing) that would mean I'd have to rip the eyes straight out of a six years old's skull.
… I might just stick to claiming the Kiba, to be honest.
'Bleh, this is making my brain throw up. Back to Step Three.' I shook myself, somewhat gratified at least that, while I had apparently inherited Mizuki's handwriting, I thankfully haven't seem to have inherited his ruthlessness as well.
Right, moving away from the Land of Rivers and into the Land of Wind proper, to the ruins of Rōran. Hidden underneath the crumbling spires and sealed by one of the Fourth Hokage's famous Flying Thunder God kunai, lies the source of the Ryūmyaku, the Dragon Veins that grant users literal infinite amounts of chakra. Still sealed and accessed by a royal bloodline like the Gelel vein, but easier to use as it was available to all once it was opened. Remember the Infinite Armor and the Stone of Gelel? Starting to see where I'm going with this?
Accessing that source would make me as close to a god as it was possible to be without being an alien Chakra Fruit eating goddess.
It wouldn't make me utterly invincible, I would have to remain close to the source, at least at first and I had no defenses against it or myself being sealed by fuinjutsu for instance, but with infinite chakra reserves I'd have an infinitely lasting body, plenty powerful enough to start picking up the study of almighty scribbles in my spare time.
There were other places of powers that could be absorbed, weapons that could be found or stolen, but none that were as close together and as compatible with each other, so these three would be my immediate goal.
'First, immortality, then omnipotence, then… the bitches…' I thought to myself with a wry smile, recalling a quote from TeamFourStar's Vegeta when he had a similar planning in mind.
Sudden steps coming down the large central stairs tore me from my musings and with hurried, panicked movements I scrubbed and smudged the messy muddy lines from the wall, destroying any evidence of my list in the low lighting of the prison.
To my surprise, that darkness was chased away by a torch moving closer to the bars of my cell and after I had blinked the spots from my vision at the sudden brightness, I saw two silhouettes waiting by the door.
One of them I recognized as one of the guards, who to my surprise took a key chain off his belt and began unlocking my door.
"Mizuki. You have a visitor."
'What? Me? Don't tell me the Hokage already came down here to set me free…' I thought against all hope, before my shoulders slumped somewhat as the second figure stepped into my cell.
Silhouetted as they were by the flickering light of the torch, I could see this was a woman of average build with bangs along the side of her face, not a wrinkly old man, sadly enough.
'… never thought I'd be disappointed by that…'
"Hello… Mizuki…"
The voice was soft, hesitant to the point of almost sounding like a question and I blinked in confusion at the woman.
"Uhm… hello? Who are you?"
To my surprise, the figure took a shocked step back at that and I could see the guard's face frown in the light of the torch he held. The woman took a shuddering breath, her voice even more subdued now.
"They… they told me… I wasn't sure what to think of it, but it's really true, isn't it? You have no memory at all, do you?"
A suspicion began to raise it's head, but I decided to err on the side of honesty for this one. It'd be hard to keep playing up the amnesia angle considering how impossibly vast my knowledge of this world was given Mizuki's background. It would also mean that I would have no information to trade, which meant that in the eyes of the Villages I'd have nothing of worth to offer, and thus be nothing of worth myself.
So I shrugged, my voice hesitant, questioning.
"Only bits and pieces, whatever I've managed to piece together these past few days. Mostly just basic things about the world, but nothing really about Mizuki. Or myself, I guess I should say."
"I see…" the woman whispered, staying silent for a long time, to the point it became somewhat uncomfortable and I began shuffling my feet.
I was just about to open my mouth when the woman looked up and to my surprise tears were brimming in her eyes.
"Mizuki. It's me, Tsubaki."
Seeing absolutely no flash of recognition in my eyes clearly hurt the woman and she took a shuddering breath before forging onwards.
"I am your fiancée."
Fun Fact: the last name that I came up with for Mizuki, Oniyuri literally translates to 'Demon Flower', though in English it's called Tiger Lily. In traditional folklore, it represents transformation, growth, and rebirth. It may indicate that a person is going through a period of personal growth or is about to embark on a new chapter in life. Additionally, in hanakotoba, the Japanese language of flowers, an Orange Lily is the color of hatred and revenge. All in all, I think a fitting name for Mizuki based on how he ended up in canon and where I intend to take him in this fic.