Chapter 207 – The Holiday Has Begun
Phineas's own chess set was custom-made, with each piece engraved with the Black family crest. The materials used were far superior to those in ordinary sets.
The following morning, the three boys groaned and rubbed their heads as they got out of bed. The night before, they'd played a bit too wildly, drinking loads of butterbeer—and later, Puff had even brought them some red wine. The result was predictable: pounding headaches and queasy stomachs.
Jordan had already left early that morning. He was heading home for Christmas and had taken a carriage to the Hogwarts station with the other students returning for the holidays on the Hogwarts Express.
By the time Phineas and the twins woke, Jordan was long gone. Not that they minded—they hadn't even thought about seeing him off.
They spent the first day of the holiday in a haze of hangovers and grogginess. Thanks to Puff bringing food at regular intervals, they slept and woke in turns, barely functioning until nightfall.
"I don't think I'll ever drink with you two again," Phineas grumbled, rubbing his temples.
George nodded solemnly. "Definitely no more drinking."
Fred, still a bit foggy, said, "But George… you said…"
George caught on before he finished. "You mean inventing a candy that gives the sensation of being drunk?"
Fred brightened immediately and the twins high-fived, thrilled at the new idea.
Phineas stroked his chin and mused, "I remember there's a mushroom in the Forbidden Forest—mildly toxic. If boiled properly, it causes mild hallucinations and headaches."
Fred's eyes lit up. "Do you remember what kind of mushroom?"
Phineas shook his head.
George sighed. "That's no help, then."
"But someone would definitely know," Phineas added.
"Hagrid?" George guessed.
Fred's eyes widened. "Right! He lives next to the forest—he'd know for sure."
Phineas nodded. "Or you could ask Professor Kettleburn or Professor Sprout. Kettleburn practically lives in the Forbidden Forest and keeps all kinds of magical creatures. Some of their parts might have similar effects. And Sprout—she's a master of Herbology. I'm sure she knows herbs that can cause effects like drunkenness."
George and Fred exchanged a look, then turned to Phineas and said together, "Want to open a joke shop with us?"
Phineas shook his head. "That's your dream, not mine. It wouldn't be right for me to get involved. Even though the Black family isn't large, there are still a few active branches. If I joined in, people would think the shop belonged to the Blacks. I can't have that."
There were two reasons for Phineas's refusal. First, the Weasleys didn't take charity. If Phineas got involved, the twins wouldn't accept his money. At most, they'd accept his occasional ideas or suggestions—things that didn't cost him anything. Phineas had no interest in dragging the Black name into joke merchandise.
Second, if he were to get involved, he'd inevitably end up in a dominant position—whether he wanted to or not. The Black family's name carried weight, and his involvement would send a message to the rest of the magical world that the Blacks were willing to invest without demanding control. That would invite endless requests from other pure-blood families looking to take advantage of the same treatment—something Phineas wanted no part of.
When the twins heard his explanation, they sighed in disappointment.
Phineas chuckled. "What are you sighing for? You only asked because you wanted to do something with me. Isn't this just as good? I'll give you ideas, and you two make the dream happen. You know I'm an heir of the Black family. Even though Sirius is around and takes on some responsibilities, every move I make still represents Black. It's better if the shop is entirely yours."
He paused, then added, "Although, I might sell a few products through your shop in the future."
George raised an eyebrow. "What kind of products?"
Phineas grinned but didn't answer.
He had a few ideas—nothing concrete yet, but plenty of inspiration. In his memories were countless items perfect for a shop like theirs. One example was a collectible card game, similar to those from the novels he'd read in his previous life. But even that, he thought, was a little too basic.
He was more interested in creating something like a wizarding version of Warhammer—complex, collectible, and engaging.
Card games relied on collection and rarity. Some cards would be printed in smaller numbers to make them more valuable. You could sell them in randomized packs, or individually.
But Phineas's vision went beyond that.
He wanted to make something that was truly immersive.