"You failed us? What makes you say that?"
Jonah asked with a puzzled face, as if the answer was not obvious.
Was he mocking me or he truly did not know?
"I saw the tenth floor record. Many of our comrades died because I tempered with that barrier in the temple."
I stated as I recalled the terror brought by the Malaikat's Blessing.
The shepherd shook his head.
"It's not your fault that they died. You couldn't have expected the enemies would get revived like that. I've talked with Shanny. Even she thinks you can't be blamed for what happened."
He talked with Shanny, did he?
Goodness, was I so obviously seen blaming myself? I thought I managed to keep it hidden.
"Even so, Jonah, seven people died because of what I was trying to do in the temple. I was the one who suggested us to go there in the first place."
"Don't shoulder everything by yourself! I also agreed with you, remember? So didTrudy. And in the end, it was master who ordered us to investigate the temple."
I shook my head, objecting his words.
"Be honest, Jonah, had I said the temple posed too much risk, would you still think we should explore it back then?"
Jonah's jaw clenched at my question.
He could not say he would say anything to cross my suggestion on the tenth floor.
The man's silence was an admission that he would also agree if I said we should not investigate the temple.
I continued.
"Had I think negatively on investigating the temple, you would support me, and likely Trudy as well. And with Shanny already in favor of not going there and Darius was open to either suggestions, master would see that everyone in Party 1 did not wish to attempt the unrequired subquest. I'm certain master would not make us do something we did not wish to do if it's not necessary."
I placed my hand on my chest as I went on.
"Ultimately, the blame lies solely on me. I was the one who made us go to the temple and activated its death trap. I am responsible for the lives we lost after. I failed master and everyone in the lobby since those deaths could actually be avoided had I made the correct judgment."
"No, Serafina. Even if you did not wish to attempt the subquest, master could still force us to do it. You'll never know."
"But I did want to attempt it. And seven people needlessly died because of my foolish whim."
I sighed exasperatedly at my own statement.
I continued with great frustration in my tone.
"I should have thrown myself into the barrier and sacrifice myself as soon as the trap was activated. The barrier would be disabled and so would the trap, and more of us would be able to return. It would be a much better exchange."
I did say I would do anything to save Damai.
I would do anything to make sure the lobby reach the top of the tower, the 100th floor.
Anything.
Even if it meant sacrificing myself and handing my personal mission over to someone else.
Especially when it turned out my very being was a threat to my own cause. I would end myself if I had to.
Anything to save my homeland!
Suddenly Jonah seized my shoulders and embraced me into his strong wide chest.
"Don't say horrible things like that, Serafina! Sacrificing yourself? Foolish! Never again! Please, I beg you!"
The shepherd's voice was both firm and warm. His tone was pleading.
He tightened his embrace as he went on.
"Those people are dead. They won't come back. The only thing you can do for them is to make sure their sacrifices meant something."
It was hard to steel myself when I was in Jonah's arms.
All my worries I tried to wall inside of me rushed forth like a flood freed from a broken dam.
"What if I can't make the subquest rewards useful, Jonah? What if I never figured out those formulas in the grimoire? Those people would have died for nothing. I don't think I can figure it out, Jonah. Oh what am I going to do if I can't figure it out?"
"You WILL figure it out, Serafina. You will! You're the smartest person I've ever met. You will succeed. You won't let us down!"
He encouraged me softly while gently brushing my hair.
I could not help but to chuckle.
Those were just simple words. But after hearing Jonah said them, all my doubts suddenly disappeared.
The power this man had over me.
This shepherd turned out to be more dangerous than the wolves that threatened his flock.
"Fina."
I whispered inside his chest.
"What was that?"
Jonah asked as he pulled himself slightly to stare at my face.
"'Serafina' can be a mouthful. Call me 'Fina' from now on."
I said to him with a smile, my fingers were brushing his cheek.
The shepherd actually chuckled back to me.
He removed his arms and reached gently for my hands.
"Well then, Fina, does your offer still stand?"
I slightly frowned at his question.
"What offer?"
A reddish tint grew on the shepherd's face before he replied.
"Your lessons. You said you would teach me all there is to Dunia and beyond."
My smile turned into a smirk.
The shepherd was even hungrier than the wolves that threatened his flock.
"Jonah, you do know that one of us is going to die before we reached the 100th floor, don't you?"
His face turned pale. Stiff frown replaced his smile and joy.
Seeing his silence, I went on.
"Surely you're not naïve enough to think the two of us will make it all the way to the end together."
Jonah sighed as he stared at my hands he was grasping.
"The possibility is hard to deny after the tenth floor. But, Fina,"
He turned his gaze right into my eyes. His own was brimming with hope as he resumed.
"we still have now, right?"
I smiled at him and grasped his hands back even tighter.
"Of course. We have now."
The future held many possibilities. Both terrible and wonderful.
But we could decide what to make of the present.
And perhaps in doing so, our future would be decided as well, either for the better or for the worse.
"Hamsin, is this the lady?"
A young girl's voice suddenly interrupted our intimate moment.
How dare the little cretin!
Holding my temper, I released my grasp on Jonah's hands and his on mine and turned around.
A young girl, not more than a couple years older than little Tarran, dressed in ragged clothing approached us on the bench. A little boy in similar ragged clothes was following behind her.
I noticed the boy was clutching a wooden horse doll which I enchanted to dance earlier. He seemed to like the toy given his smile and how tight he held it against his chest.
"Yes, Deria! The toy man said this pretty lady asked him to give the toys to us!"
The boy replied to the young girl, unaware of the huge snot running down his nose.
She nodded slightly to him and turned her head toward Jonah and I.
The girl might be young but she had a cold piercing gaze on her face which could put some generals to shame.
From her expression, I could tell she was studying us from head to toe, trying to determine what kind of people we were.
After she completed her judgment, one that she kept private, she nodded to herself and reached for her pocket.
"You're very kind, miss. But we don't owe ourselves to strangers."
The girl pulled a roundish red object about the size of her palm from her pocket.
"Please take this as payment for the toy you gave Hamsin."
She said as she presented me with a basic fire elemental stone.
Jonah and I glanced suspiciously at each other upon this sight.
Though the man had never been to Seraphold, he knew it was odd for a child to be carrying such precious material.
"This is quite a rare stone you have, girl. You could buy yourself a house with this rock alone."
I said as I eyed the rags she put on herself and the boy.
The girl was somehow annoyed by my words.
"Hey, I didn't steal it! I worked for it! I found this stone when the other boys and I explored those mysterious ruins! It was quite hard to find the ones unguarded by soldiers, you know."
Jonah suddenly snapped at her.
"You and other children entered the ruins? That's dangerous! You could've gotten yourselves killed!"
The girl was not bothered by his strong voice.
"That is not your business to say, sir. We did what we had to do."
She pressed the elemental stone to my hand.
"Anyway, this stone should make Hamsin's debt squared. So don't ever ask anything from him, you got it?"
But the debt was not simply squared. We now owed the children.
I snatched her hand as she was about to walk away.
"Hold on. That accent of yours and the boy's isn't native to Seraphold. Nor any place in Damai nor anywhere near the region."
I stated to her directly. I continued.
"You two are refugees. From far away at that."
The girl did not try to squirm her hand away from my grasp.
She stood calmly and silently bore my face with that piercing gaze of hers.
Eventually she spoke with great composure.
"If you must know, we're from Loro. We fled when the city was invaded. And no, we don't have any parents. We're orphans. And yes, there are other kids than Hamsin and I. And no, we don't need your or anyone's help. We can take care of ourselves. Now would you let go of my hand?"