Darian clenched his fists hard, and his face twisted. He could barely imagine the pain he caused everyone in his family, especially... Niara. She must've been devastated and alone.
But he didn't have any choice. That was the result of not becoming strong enough.
When he met Meru, she had been very clear about the danger he was facing. She gave him the path to grow stronger, collecting the books, and told him the safest route, which was rising through the shadows.
Instead, he chose his own path and ended up revealing himself way too early.
That led to him being captured by the demons and staying away for 10 years. He gained a lot in the end, but possibly lost more than he gained. Because he lost the route that allowed him to obtain the books more quickly.
Only later did he understand: with every new book he obtained, Meru could teach him better things, and his strength multiplied.
In the end, he kept following his own path and, in the final battle... he ended up dying.
