Flies circled the alley like vultures. The body lay still, dressed in a torn suit, blood pooling from a gash in its side. To a passerby, it looked like just another unfortunate soul.
"Huh?" a homeless man grunted, eyeing the body. "Nice clothes... might still be wearable."
He crouched, reaching for the jacket.
A hand snapped upward.
"Guh!" the man yelped as fingers clamped around his wrist.
Kira Yoshikage's voice was calm, raspy, and chilling.
"Where am I?"
"L-Let me go, man!" the homeless man stammered, punching Kira's injured hand, still slick with blood. "You want your clothes back? Fine, I was just borrowin' 'em!"
Kira didn't respond. His grip tightened. Bones cracked.
"AAAGH!"
With a soft hiss, Killer Queen manifested, its fingers brushing the man's shoulder.
"No... please, don't—"
BOOM.
The alley flashed white. Smoke curled around the walls, leaving only a charred crater where the man stood.
Kira stood, chest heaving. He slipped into his suit and used the man's rags to wrap his bleeding hand. The bandage soaked red almost immediately.
The blast had drawn attention. Footsteps echoed.
"Freeze! Hands where I can see 'em!"
Three officers appeared at the alley's edge. Two men, one woman.
Kira sighed. "Why can't I just have a peaceful life?"
"You're under arrest," one officer said, cuffing him roughly. "Hope you like solitary."
Kira didn't resist. But Killer Queen hovered behind them.
Tap. Tap.
BOOM. BOOM.
Both officers fell, nothing left but smoke.
The female officer staggered back, hand shaking over her holster. "What... what did you do?!"
Kira stepped forward and gently grasped her trembling hand.
"You have very soft hands." As he caresses her hand in his face. "A young police officer with manicured nails, soft hands, and a nice smell."
"Please make it stop." As the police officer pleaded.
BOOM.
As the explosion faded, Kira walked out of the alley, limping.
His gaze drifted upward. A billboard flickered: "Low-Paying Delivery Jobs! No Background Checks! No Questions Asked!"
He smiled, sliding the officer's hand into his jacket pocket.
"Let's live peacefully, shall we?"
---
Penthouse – 9PM
Senku adjusted a device near Gojo's temple. Shoko reviewed the scan results.
"No signs of memory loss," she muttered. "Shadow, you next."
Shadow sat stiffly, arms crossed. "Tch. Waste of time."
Gojo groaned. "Can I bill someone for this?"
"Put it on my tab," Suguru said, eyes closed.
Shadow got up, expression unreadable.
Alpha hugged him tight. "Everything's okay now."
Shadow let out a shriek. "WHY?!"
Senku tilted his head. "Trauma from battle?"
Shadow snarled. "No. My delivery's late."
Rudeus blinked. "That's what you're upset about?"
Shadow showed his phone: a photo of a barren room—just a bed, cabinet, and table.
"Exactly! My throne, my piano, my posters! All still in transit!"
Rudeus's eyes gleamed. "You ordered figures too?"
Shadow nodded solemnly. "Limited editions."
"My man," Rudeus grinned.
Subaru watched. "Didn't expect those two to get along."
Kazuma pointed at Denji and Aki. "They fought the first day they met. Kicked each other in the balls. Now they're besties."
"Itadori and Megumi too," Subaru added. "They clashed all the time."
"Exactly," Kazuma said. "So Shadow and Rudeus getting along? Not that weird."
Subaru smirked. "You jealous?"
"Jealous?!" Kazuma snapped. "You live in a mansion with two maids, a princess, and a loli! And he has three wives!"
He pointed accusingly at Rudeus.
"And Shadow reminds me of Megumin. Immediate no."
---
Next Morning – 8AM
The penthouse shook.
A plane descended, flattening a portion of the backyard. The rear hatch opened with dramatic flair.
Shadow gasped. "It's here!!"
Saiki, Rudeus, and Shadow stood in pajamas, watching as a blonde man in a cap unloaded 50 crates.
Saiki squinted. "You didn't order anything cursed, did you?"
Shadow rolled his eyes. "Everything is classy and decorational."
Crates thudded down one by one.
Kira looked at Saiki, Cid, and Rudeus. He thought to himself.
Somehow I remember pieces of memory that are not mine. That kid had sharp reflexes.
As he handed out a package to Shadow.
That blonde kid had some sort of ammunition. A bullet precise, accurate, and deadly like a sniper.
Staring at Rudeus.
And finally, Saiki.
He didn't really stand out from the memory. As if he's held back.
Kira Yoshikage had to act fast. Faster than them unpacking the boxes.
Throne. Grand piano. Custom bookshelf. Velvet curtains. Anime figurines.
Rudeus clapped like a child. "Magnificent taste!"
Only one box remained.
Shadow frowned. "Huh? I ordered 49. This is 50."
"Where's the delivery guy?" Rudeus asked.
Kira went over with a decision. He held up a clipboard saying 50 packages.
Saiki placed a hand on the mystery box.
Psychometry.
Factory. Packaging. Delivery truck. Then— a memory.
Kira. Wrapping the box with bloodied hands. Smiling.
Saiki recoiled. "That's Kira!"
Shadow immediately stanced. "You messed with my package? Get ready, because you will get messed with!"
Rudeus raised a hand, panicked. "Wait! My staff's upstairs—"
Then it hit.
A chill washed over them.
Kira's voice echoed.
"Too late."
Killer Queen shimmered inside in Saiki's vision.
Saiki tried to look away and blink.
"It's no use." Kira's voice echoed.
"Killer Queen's third bomb has already been activated. Bites the Dust."
BOOM.
White light. Screams. Blackness.
---
Shadow jolted awake.
Rudeus stared at the ceiling.
Saiki in bed drenched in sweat. Alarm clock ringing.
7:00 AM
---
End.
*******
A/N
I remember writing this with Kira yoshikages theme hahaha >_<